Our First Visit Home

 This weekend we made our first trip back home since moving away.  We left after school Friday and made fantastic time, stopping once to go potty and once for dinner.  Carly only cried for about twenty minutes of the five hour drive and slept the majority of it. 

When we got there, we were welcomed into my parents house where they had two rooms set up for us.  

It was a quick weekend as we had to leave Sunday afternoon to get back home for work & school Monday, but oh the fun we squeezed in!!!

My parents read the boys bedtime stories both nights and we all slept pretty well, except Josh who we had bunked up with the twins to keep any eye on Logan post-seizure.  Apparently those cuties aren't quiet sleepers.  Poor Josh!

My mom has three dogs and Carly LOVED them. It was so sweet to see her with them. She especially loved Sadie (pictured here) who happens to also be my favorite. 

 

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Saturday my mom & dad kept the kids so I could go shopping and out to lunch with Josh's sister Julie.  It was so lovely to have entire conversations with no interruptions!

After lunch with my bestie, it was time for my adorable nephews' birthday party.  It was a costume party, which the kids loved!

Wyatt the minion & Milo the firefighter 

 My dad as Space Ghost & my mom as a Chinese woman.

My sister's {adorable} family!

Superman & Super Girl

A fireman, Little Red Riding Hood & Dead Pool

 Seriously, so cute!

 Blake & Roxanne

 Milo & Ferris

Happy Birthday boys!!!

I was a librarian, Carly was a Cabbage Patch doll

Jack was a SWAT cop, Wyatt a minion and Logan was Finn from Star Wars

The best part of the party was getting to love on my niece Annie.  She's simply delicious and I love her so!  

 Carly also got her share of lovings from everyone!

 (I had to include a shot of the back of her wig. It's just adorable!)

I don't think we held our own babies the whole afternoon (barring when Annie took a nap in the Ergo).  We just love each others' babies so much! 

 Best costume award?

Roxanne's sister-in-law and her husband who showed up as Dog the Bounty Hunter & Beth

 Roxanne wore Annie, as I mentioned, for some of the party.

 Annie was so at peace all snuggled into her mama.

These two pictures were taken seconds apart. 

Annie would literally peek out at us, smile, then seemingly realize she was tucked in close to my sister, and nestle her head and close her eyes. It was the most precious thing ever.

Jack & Aubrey (Roxanne's niece)

Love these two silly boys!

They are growing up right before our eyes.

 Ferris & Logan

 Nice work, Milo!

 Instead of a cake, my sister made this awesome donut tower.  

 They put candles in,

 we sang,

 and then we ate! Yum!!!

What a super fun party and a great way to spend time with everyone. 

For years we missed Ferris & Milo's birthdays, much to Ferris' dismay, because of living in Alaska, so nothing was keeping us from this years' party. 

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After the party, my parents took us out to eat at Red Robin, my kids' favorite. The boys were surprisingly well behaved considering how long we had to wait.  The food was great, the babies were well behaved and the conversation was fun, too!

After dinner I came back to my parents house and put the kids to sleep and my sister came over.  She, my mom and I all stayed up waaaay too late talking & laughing, and ended the night hugging and feeling so grateful that I don't live so far away (like in the village) any more.

Sunday morning we were up bright & early to head over to Josh's parents house.  There his mom had arranged a playdate with the boys' cousins.  Liesel (pictured with Carly) and Gustav & Gisele (pictured below).

The kids had a great time together and I am so happy they all got a few hours in despite our tight timeline.  I got to catch up with Josh's sister Andrea and see all the things Carol has done around the house since we moved out. It looks so great! 

After our morning playdate we zoomed back to my parents house where we packed up while my mom made us a delicious breakfast for lunch.  As soon as we finished our last bites, we loaded the kids up in the car and hit the road for the five (ish) hour trek back home.  Carly and Logan slept the first two hours which was awesome.  And the last three hours went surprisingly well, too, despite Carly being awake for all of them. 

All in all, it was a great trip home and a welcome reminder that family is so close and even a quick weekend trip is worth the effort.  Cause boy did we have fun!!!

Around Here: Week 43

Me & Grandpa Jerry

My sister & me circa 2004???

Love this crazy kid... so glad he's alright

Not taking... one single day for granted.  After Logan's seizure on Tuesday, our regular, everyday things feel so significant and blessed.

Loving... the boys' school pictures.  Wyatt's is probably my favorite just because he still has all his baby teeth and I adore baby teeth.  But Logan and Jack's are fantastic, too.  I mean, those dimples!

Reading... Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott.  Loving all her instructions on how to be a writer.

Making... a craft for Wyatt's class to do during their Halloween party next week. It's taking forever, but they're gonna be so cute!

Thinking... about starting to write letters to myself.  The voices in my head are negative jerks that focus only on my failures.  I'd like to take the power back by noticing (and writing about) all I'm doing right.

Watching... Blue Bloods.  Josh and I have been watching it for the whole year and it's our favorite.

Feeling grateful... for MOPS.  As Logan headed back to school yesterday I was feeling all kinds of anxiety.  Spending my morning surrounded by those ladies helped me not obsess.  In the afternoon I did end up getting a call from the office that he was complaining of headache, so I picked him up early.  He admitted later he had fallen running at recess and hit his head again. sigh. So I spoke with his doctor and we agreed that until his follow up appointment next week he needs to stay in for recess and not participate in PE.  Basically we need to protect Logan from himself. Hopefully from here forward he will be more careful and give his poor head a chance to heal.

Looking back... at pictures my grandma brought me when she and grandpa came to visit last weekend.  They are 81 & 84 and traveled over 6 hours to get to us.  I am so grateful they came.  We ate out Friday night and Josh made us all pizza Saturday night.  It was just really nice to show them our house and our neighborhood.  Wyatt even walked my grandma to his school and showed her his classroom. And Josh and the twins set off the volcano we made two weeks ago.  It was really fun to visit and hang out.

Loving... this quote by Ann Voskamp.
"Fear can be what we feel- but brave is what we do."

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Feelings

I told you the story of Logan's seizure from Logan's point of view, but I'd like to take a minute to tell you how things went down for Logan's other half, Jack.

Apparently Jack knew someone was down on the floor, because he could see traffic being diverted in the cafeteria, but he didn't know who it was until he got down from his bench and peered under the tables from his class to the last class in third grade, Logan's class. (They are seated pretty far from one another.)  He knew immediately that it was Logan and he asked his friend to go ask her mom (who is a staff assistant at their school) what was going on. His friend ran back and told him that Logan was down, and choking on his chips.

Jack saw him on the ground, shaking all around and shortly after that he saw (still from a distance as he was at his table) the police show up.  He saw the police officer checking Logan to see if he was breathing and taking other vital signs.  Some kids told Jack they were giving Logan CPR and others thought Logan was dead or paralyzed from falling off his seat at the table.

The principal, who has twins himself, at that point connected with Jack, for which I'm so grateful, and asked Jack if he wanted to come closer.  Jack told him no.  Tonight at bedtime he told me, "I just didn't want to go up there mom.  With all those grown ups.  Do you know what I mean?" I assured him that I totally understood.  That while some kids might have wanted to see what was going on because they'd never seen that before, for him to go see it, was really hard and really scary.  Instead Jack opted to go to this classroom.  His teacher was still finishing her lunch when he arrived, but the door was unlocked so he went straight to his desk, where he sat sobbing (& coloring) until she arrived.

She said she walked into the room and saw Jack alone at his desk.  When she asked what was the matter, he melted into her, crying even harder, and she had no idea what was going on. Slowly she began to piece together what had happened.  She knew a third grader had collapsed, but wasn't sure who.  Then when Jack was able to talk, he told her Logan had been on the ground, not responding and that he didn't like what all the other students were saying.

I just keep feeling terrible for not being there. I mean, how could I have been there? But still... I hate the thought of Jack witnessing something so scary by himself.  Thank goodness his teacher is absolutely amazing and Jack knew her classroom would be a refuge for him. She is my saving grace.  And the principal.  He checked in a second time with Jack at recess later to be sure he wanted to stay with his class and not come wait for me in the office.  Again, Jack chose to stay with his class, keeping his day as normal as possible.

Jack told me that after he saw Logan shaking like that, he was shaking, too.  I told him that I think that's because him and his brother have such a special connection.

As Jack told me pieces of what happened yesterday, it was almost like he was in denial because the story came out in tiny bits over the course of the last 24 hours.  I think as the shock and worry is wearing off, he's better able to put it all together in his head.  Tonight he fell asleep much easier and I'm hoping I will too.

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An Ambulance is on the Way

 Today I got the call every mother dreads.  

At 12:36 my phone rang. I was working on the craft I have planned for Wyatt's class pumpkin party next week and the phone said "Unknown".   I always answer the phone, though, during the day, just in case.

It was a staff member from the boys' school calling to tell me they had Logan, down, in the cafeteria. "We think he had a seizure," she said, "An ambulance is on the way."  She wasn't sure if he was coherent or responsive.

I flew down the hall, got Carly up from her nap, grabbed Logan's bubba (his favorite stuffed animal), along with my purse and the diaper bag and got Carly in her carseat.  That drive to the school was the longest three quarters of a mile I've ever traveled.  I arrived just after the ambulance and fast as I could, I got into the gym to see Logan.

He was a lump on the floor, unresponsive, but breathing.  Someone took the baby so I could get on my knees next to Logan.  His eyes slowly fluttered open, his pupils huge & black, and closed again a handful of times. Finally they opened and locked on my face. He gave half a smile. I asked him where he was, but he couldn't answer.  I asked what hurt and he clumsily touched his forehead.

Then he tried to get up on all fours, but his legs kept sliding out from under him.  The EMT's gently loaded him onto the stretcher and wheeled him out to the parking lot. The police officer who had arrived after the 911 call offered to drive my van to the hospital so I could ride with Logan in the ambulance.  I buckled Carly into one seat behind Logan and I sat by his side in another seat.  At that point he had begun talking, and the relief that washed over me was unlike any ever in my life.

He was able to tell me who his teacher was and that his head hurt. They put in an IV and checked his blood sugar.  Before we knew it, we had arrived at the hospital.  I had to go check him in while they wheeled him back.  Once I was done with the paperwork I met Logan in his room and Josh arrived. 

I had attempted to call him on the drive to the school, but it went to voicemail.  Thankfully our principal knows the superintendent at Josh's district and called him personally to make sure Josh got the message that one of the twins had had a seizure and was being ambulanced to the ER.

The boys' teachers both came out to the ambulance to check on me before we left and see how they could help.  Jack's teacher offered to keep him and Wyatt as long as necessary so Josh and I could both be with Logan.  The principal held the baby while I tended to Logan, and all the staff was doing, and had done, all they could to make a bad situation better.  The secretary I spoke with even stayed on the phone with me until I was leaving the house, reminding me kindly to breathe.

After his initial check up, Logan took a nap.  He had some idea of what had happened and was able to tell us that he'd had a headache just before lunch.  When he woke up from his nap, we were talking about the ambulance ride and he said he thought it was like a bus. "Speaking of buses," he said to me, "We got to practice bus evacuations today.  And when it was my turn, I forgot to duck and hit my head really hard."  My wheels started turning, asking Logan the questions necessary to try and piece together some type of timeline. 

So what I think happened is this: He did bus training, knocking his forehead on the shortened door frame.  Then he had reading group & a splitting headache. Then he went to wash up for lunch and felt dizzy upon standing and very shaky.  He made it to the cafeteria where he ate one thing from his lunch and was working on his chips when he had a grand mal seizure that they think lasted roughly four minutes.

I spoke with the ER doctor about this new development and she said that in many cases children with concussions can have seizures.  So for the foreseeable future, we have to watch Logan when he's swimming or in the bath tub, and he can't climb on anything higher than six feet, in case he has another seizure. We don't want him to suffer a secondary injury from a fall.  In terms of the concussion he may or may not have, we have to watch for worsening headache or vomiting. 

To be careful, we are keeping him home from school tomorrow, but from there, he will likely be back to his normal activity barring any climbing. With a single seizure, the protocol is to simply wait and see.  If there are more seizures, then you follow up with a neurologist and think about medication. But if this is a one time event, you just let time pass and pray it doesn't happen again.

Josh's cousin Januari brought us dinner and many people in the community have reached out to check on us.  We're so grateful.  Continued prayers for Logan's healing are welcome, as are prayers for Jack and other classmates who witnessed Logan's seizure.  A seizure is a very scary thing to witness (I've watched Josh suffer two seizures) and my heart goes out to Logan's friends (and brother) who were with him when it happened.  Tonight poor Jack was so exhausted after a long day worrying, but could not fall asleep.  He asked me to lay with him and as I snuggled in next to him on his pillow, he found my hand and grabbed it tight. He told me he didn't want to sleep cause he was worried Logan wasn't going to wake up in the morning. 

We prayed together and I assured him that if the doctor was worried we'd still be at the hospital.  And then I hugged him tight and thanked God for such a tender hearted brother.

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9 months in // 9 months out

As of today, Carly has been out as long as she was in.  

39 weeks.  

273 days with this amazing pink blessing in my life.  In many ways I can hardly remember life before her.  She's become one of the gang.  Part of the fabric of my days, the same way the twins and then Wyatt did.  We all love her. She brings out a tenderness in her brothers I've never seen before, and they all want to make her smile or laugh.  When Josh gets home from work and sees her, his face just lights up.  She's the one we all want to be around.  

I'm so grateful for her.  

We all are.

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Around Here: Week 42

Relaxing... with our two new cats. I keep calling them kittens cause they are only nine months old (my sister joked that I have triplets, cause they're the same age as Carly- ha!) and they're crazy rambunctious like kittens throughout the day.  But they also take their share of sweet naps, often together, and each day I'm falling more in love.  Hands down my favorite part of having cats though is watching Carly with them.  She squeals when she sees them, or cracks up laughing.  She's not crawling yet and Josh & I agree that those cats are going to be what gets her crawling.

Reading... My Grandmother Asked Me To Tell You She's Sorry by Fredrik Backman. My favorite quote so far: "This is a grandchild's ultimate privilege: knowing that someone is on your side, always, whatever the details.  Even when you are wrong. Especially then, in fact." I'm leading the next two book club books and this is the first one.  We would love to have you along! Find us on Facebook and let's get reading!

Loving... our evenings.  Homework, dinner, baths, and bedtime stories with Dad followed by silent reading in bed for the twins... it's the stuff my childhood dreams were made of, and I feel so blessed that this is my life.

Brushing... Carly's three little teeth with her own teeny tiny toothbrush.  Her first top tooth poked through last week, joining the bottom two, and I can't wait to see what she looks like when they both come in on top.

Letting... the boys jump in the rain this weekend.  The twins loved every second, whereas Wyatt got pretty cold pretty fast and was none too impressed.

Finishing... Wyatt's treatment for his lingering cough.  Antibiotics and some nebulizer treatments for the last week and a half, and he is back to 100%. I'm so relieved!

Looking forward... to a visit from my grandparents.  A big storm prevented their visit last weekend, so I'm excited it worked out for them to come see our new house this weekend.

Watching... Season 5 of Alaska: The Last Frontier. I downloaded the Discovery Go app and watch episodes as I accomplish chores around the house (mainly baking & laundry).  I missed the show so much last year, it makes me happy to be getting caught up as Season 6 is beginning.

Making... new friends as I continue doing things with the local MOPS (Mothers of Pre-Schoolers) group.  This week we went to the pumpkin patch.  I am loving the connection to all kinds of moms.  What a blessing.

Tearing up... when I caught sight of Logan at morning recess (they have a free play time just before the bell rings for school) as he caught sight of Jack. He immediately left the football game he was involved in and ran, full fledge, toward his twin. When he reached him, they shoulder bumped and laughed together before running off to play together.  It made me grateful yet again that they have each other.

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P.S. Thank you all so much for your kind words & encouragement from last week's Weekly Update.  My anxiety ebbs and flows (thankfully) and this week I'm feeling good.  I know that October is an historically hard month for me and I'm trying to give myself grace keeping that in mind.