Around Here: Week 50

Feeding... Carly bits of whatever I'm eating.  She is loving all the big people food I give her. She is also drinking more from her brother's sippy cups. She has her own, but much prefers theirs. Little cutie.

Setting... goals for the new year.  Looking at what I want blogging to look like, as well as other personal goals like reading & meditating.  I'm so excited.  I love the fresh start a new year offers.

Bundling... up all the children to endure the snow and wind and cold.  We're having negative night time temps and when the wind picks up during the day, it is COLD!  So it's hats and gloves and scarves everyday.  Keeping track of it all is sure to drive me insane!

Reading... Winter Storms by Elin Hildebrand (I finished Winter Street and Winter Stroll-- the first two in the trilogy last week.  They are, hands down, my favorite Christmas reads and I highly recommend them!) and I'm reading BFG by Roald Dahl to the twins each night at bedtime.  I am also hoping to finish Bird By Bird by Anne Lamott and Believing God by Beth Moore before the end of the new year. That will put me at 23 books read (that I kept track of) for 2016!  I'm hoping to do a better job keeping track in 2017, and my goal is to read 24 books, two each month.

Feeling... relief that my anxiety has subsided this week and I functioned as a normal human being. I am searching currently, however, for a counselor so that when my anxiety rears its ugly head I am prepared to face it!

Sleeping... very little these days. I'm not sure why, but Carly has been waking up screaming bloody murder every few hours each night for the last week. I don't know if it's night terrors, separation anxiety or an ear infection, but we are all a bit behind in the sleep department these days.  I'm taking her to the clinic this afternoon to check her ears, but I have a feeling it's just a phase she's going through. Poor baby!

Packing... for a last minute trip home to celebrate my  mom's birthday. When I was in Alaska I didn't cry on Christmas or Thanksgiving or Easter. I cried on my mom's birthday. I hated missing it and am so happy that I will be able to be there this year.  Hooray (again) for living close to family!!!

{Inspiration this week}

Weekly Goals:

• Finish two books
• Kon Mari our clothes (!!!)
• Wrap Christmas presents

Blue Eyed Baby

{July 2016}

Known for Love

Every year at Christmas time, I have to go through my address book and erase names.  It is, hands down, the most depressing part of Christmas.  This year I had to erase my grandma's best friend Shirley, who was like a grandma to my boys and myself.  She passed just days after Carly was born and never got to meet our sweet girl.

I also had to erase my Grandma Dorothy & Grandpa Bob, surrogate grandparents whom I'm not actually related to, but grew up with all the same.

My grandpa's brother also passed away this year...

As I slowly work through my Christmas card list, erasing as necessary, I can't help but think about the loved ones I've lost, and the thing I would like people to remember most about me when it's my name they're erasing.

I've considered many virtues, different things I'd like to be known for and decided to settle on the most boring, yet most meaningful one. Love. I just want to be known for love. I want to be known for loving my husband more than anyone on the planet.  I want to be known for loving my children and sacrificing everything for them.  I want to be known for loving my friends and my family and making them feel like the most important people in the world.

***

Broken Things

Things will break.

People tell you they will cry.  They tell you about the laundry.  They warn you about your heart.  But they don't tell you all the senseless things that your children will break, ruin, destroy, decimate.  Last week was a breaking week.  I lost the backpack shelf (pulled right out of the wall), a piece of wall decor in Wyatt's room, two of my favorite ice cream dishes, and this fruit bowl.

Those are just the broken things.  There were also messes-- chocolate on clothes, water spilled on papers and snot smeared across t-shirts and forearms.  It's enough to send you running for the hills!

But Friday morning, when the last bowl bit the dust, I felt peace wash over me. What was done was done. So instead of yelling, blaming and blasting poor Logan who dropped another dish on the fruit bowl while unloading the dishwasher, I hugged him.  I told him it was just a dish.  

Broken things can be mended or replaced.  But hearts broken by words spoken from an angry mama are much harder to heal.

***

Around Here: Week 49

Finally... filling out our anniversary journal.  Our anniversary (13 years!) was back in August and I am just now jotting down notes about our year and ordering a picture to put in.  Every year I enjoy looking back at all the previous years and seeing how far we've come as a couple.  Adding Carly this year was pretty magical.

Sending... our Christmas cards out. I've been working on them for a few weeks now and it feels good to cross that off my list.

Carrying... a sleeping baby to and from afternoon pick up for a bunch of days in a row. Poor Carly had a runny nose and every time we were in the car, she'd pass out. So I got to relive her newborn days and enjoy her sleeping everywhere.

Giving... Wyatt nebulizer treatments to get rid of his lingering cough.  Last week his doctor said he has reactive airways which means that when he's sick, his lungs tend to bear the brunt of it.  The albuterol helps and at this point we aren't calling it asthma, but we are watching him.

Forgetting... to move Dashy (our Elf on the Shelf) twice this week. #momfail  I told the boys that he can't travel when it's really cold outside, so he stayed here where it's cozy and warm. Ha! Hopefully next week I will be more on the ball.

Bringing... Carly to bed with me in the early mornings so she won't wake Wyatt up (they share a room) and so I can get a few more zzz's before the day starts.

Attending... Josh's work Christmas party last night.  It was nice to meet his coworkers and have the chance to dress Carly up.

Enjoying... every minute of having a daughter to dress up.  Putting on her new shoes and Christmas dress from my mom (thanks, Nanny!) was like dressing up a doll.  I feel so lucky to have her!

Ordering... snow gear for the boys. (Sierra Trading Post for the win!) The snow started on Tuesday and we woke up this morning with a brand new blanket of snow, at least two more inches.  I am grateful the snow pants (for Wyatt) and boots (for the twins) that I ordered showed up yesterday and that my mom thought to order Logan and Jack's snow pants a month ago!  It's been an adjustment, dressing everyone for snow each morning before school.  Keeping track of everything is such a pain!

Reading... my favorite Christmas books.  I just finished Winter Street by Elin Hildebrand and have started Winter Stroll.  I got Winter Storms for my birthday and I can't wait to read the whole trio!

Loving... our slow mornings on the weekends.  During the week, we always hit the ground running, and it's so nice on the weekend to let the boys play Minecraft to their hearts' content (we don't do screens during the week) and to let Wyatt do all the crafts his little mind can think of.

Meditating on this gem:

Having four kids has taken a lot more juggling than three kids did.  And it's a constant adjustment, as needs change, to make sure I'm doing the best I can for them.  Remembering that God chose us for each other helps as I sometimes struggle to meet their ever changing needs.

Next Week's Goals:

• Wrap existing Christmas presents
• Be joyful when I see my kids
• Blog 3x next week

Before the End of the Year Goals:

• Do my Christmas puzzle
• Paint my toenails (why can I never get this checked off my to do list?)
• Read Dave Ramsey's book
• Read Ann Voskamp's new book
• Contemplate what goals I want to set for 2017
• Make a book list for 2017

Around Here: Weeks 47 & 48

Whew! Last week was an amazing whirlwind.  Because of that and our spending the holiday with family out of town, my regular Friday post never happened. So I will combine this week and last week.  Thanksgiving will have its own post soon.

Jack & Logan 2010

Wyatt 2012

Celebrating... my birthday (again!) with my parents when we arrived at their house last week.  The boys (& my nephew Ferris) got to try lighting matches and helped my parents light all thirty-four of my birthday cake candles!

Reading... Flight Behavior. It took nearly half the book for me to get hooked and now instead of showering this morning I read while eating Froot Loops as the kids got ready for school. I am so anxious to see how it ends!
The twins and I are also finishing up My Side of the Mountain. When that's done, we are going to read BFG by Roald Dahl.  I am loving that time with them each night after the little kids are down.

Decorating... for Christmas! We got our tree at Lowe's, but the kids were content to check out the blow up decorations, so I refuse to feel guilty that we didn't do the whole "Christmas Tree Farm" thing. They enjoyed decorating the tree and Wyatt has enjoyed un-decorating it everyday.  He takes a handful of ornaments off each morning and afternoon to use as makeshift toys. I remember loving to play with some glass bears we had growing up, so I let him, even though rearranging ornaments every night is getting old already.

Starting... our Elf on the Shelf holiday tradition with Dashy our friendly elf.  So far he has turned our milk green, held baby Jesus from our manger scene, climbed up on the clock on the wall, and been caught drinking syrup through a straw on the kitchen table. The boys really love his shenanigans.

Preparing... to do 25 days of kindness.  Each day has a simple thing we can do to bring a little more love into the world and I'm excited to get the kids on board.

Done... Christmas shopping.  We only bought gifts for the kids this year, and I bought every single thing except one online. I felt great about that until Jack snuck in my room and peeked into the box from Amazon that had all their gifts in it. Gulp.  Ah, parenting.

Hoping... to get our Christmas cards done over the weekend so I can get them out early since we moved.  I like people to have our new address before they send out their Christmas cards.

Enjoying... the roses Josh got me for my birthday. They lasted a super long time and made me smile each time I walked into the kitchen.

Watching... sweet Carly suffer from a terrible cold. She's snotty and coughing and so, so sad.  I wish I could make it go away!

Finishing... my first puzzle in our new house. It was so fun to work on it off and on over the last two weeks. I love doing puzzles so much.  I have a great one waiting for Christmas break. I can't wait!

Getting angry... at Ramona (our cat) for scooping water out of the tree stand in the living room like a person who can't swim bailing out of a boat that's taking on water. She is SO naughty!!!

Feeling... inadequate, especially at bedtime. There are four children in this house, and only one mother. I could really use another me, or three.  I often have Wyatt requesting that I lay with him, the twins waiting for me to read with them and do bedtime prayers, and Carly screaming to be fed and put to sleep.  It's so hard to juggle it all.  By the time they are all in bed each night, I feel as if I've completed a marathon.

Jumping... for joy as our ice maker and garage door opener have been repaired.  (New Home Warranty for the win!)  I've never been so happy to push a button and have something do what it is supposed to!

Choosing... the material I want to use for the taggies my mom is going to make for Carly. She's currently using Wyatt's, but we want her to have her own girly ones.  I am in love with the material choices I found in my mom's stash!

Looking back... at the twins and Wyatt when they were babies, as well as paging through photo albums at my mom's house. So much fun!

Rejoicing... that we got good, normal results from Logan's EEG a few weeks back. It seems that seizure was a fluke.  I am so relieved and grateful.

***

Weekly goals:

1) Write my Christmas letter

2) Address our Christmas cards

3) Paint my toenails

Around Here: Week 46

Celebrating... my 34th Birthday today! Wyatt and I made a cake this afternoon and Josh and I will celebrate with date night after the kids are in bed.  Homemade pizza & a movie are calling my name.
I enjoyed reading this post that I wrote on my birthday last year.  I ended it saying: "For my 33rd year, I am hoping for: a healthy baby to join our family; our family to be reunited and living together somewhere that is the perfect fit for us; and for me to remember that everyday I'm here on earth is a gift.  Especially if that day is spent with the ones I love."  Talk about dreams coming true!

Feeling... proud of my boys.  This week I had my first parent/teacher conferences, and they are doing amazing.  They are working hard and learning and making progress.  Socially, they are listening to their teachers, showing respect to all the staff and making lots of friends.  Their transition from homeschool to public school could not have been smoother. I'm so grateful.

Reading... My Side of the Mountain to the twins at bedtime (psst-- don't tell Jack, but I bought him books 2 & 3 for Christmas!) and Bird by Bird, and Flight Behavior for book club.

Watching... Carly sign "more" and say "mama" and learn to crawl! She is doing it!!! She can also pull up on the couch and sit on her knees so she can reach more easily into her toy box.  The boys are AMAZED at her pulling up and Logan busted out the camera himself to capture it the other evening.
Speaking of capturing moments, when Jack saw Logan all snuggled up with Carly the other night, he grabbed by real camera, too and took some pictures. I love that they want to capture the moment when a certain feeling comes over them, just like their mama.

Wincing... as Carly tries standing (and falling) more.  She's got bruises all over and lets out the saddest, most offended cry when she crashes down. Poor baby!

Crying... cause we burned through every season of Blue Bloods and are now left show-less.  Suggestions?

Awaiting... results from Logan's EEG.  I'd sure like to hear some good news!

Loving... reflecting on all my blessings, and posting on Instagram/Facebook the things that I'm grateful for.

Doing... a fall puzzle that I ordered myself for my birthday. I do so love puzzles!

Laughing... when Wyatt saw one of his teachers outside school this week.  His mind was blown.  He stopped dead in his tracks, turned beet red and was speechless for some time.

Looking forward... to enjoying Thanksgiving with family over the long weekend!  It will be a nice reprieve from our normal weekends and I'm so looking forward to a giant piece of pumpkin pie!

***

GOALS:

I managed to bake cookies for Logan's school this week, but I didn't get to my Christmas letter or cards.  The boys had early release all week and it was all I could do just to get my regular errands done with them in tow. Mostly I just wanted to get them home and playing outside in the gorgeous weather we've been having. So I feel good even though I didn't meet my goals.

Next week I just want to stay on top of the laundry & work on my puzzle.  Every now & then, mama needs a break!

***