See The Good + 2020 Goals

 For the last few years I have chosen a "word of the year"

and this year I wanted to do the same.

When I sat down to think about what I wanted to focus on in my life, 

especially in parenthood & for overall my mental health,

"See The Good" came to me.  

So my main goal this year is to see the good in everything around me.

When things go wrong, or the kids get sick, I want to find the silver lining.

To bring this goal into fruition daily, I grabbed a tiny lined notebook I had lying around and every night I try to write down as many good things as I can that I noticed that day.  It's been super simple, and very impactful because as I go through my day I find myself searching for what things I will be writing down that evening in my little "See The Good" journal. 

In addition to "See The Good", I have some other goals as well:

• Journal more often
• I'm thinking once a week as my specific goal, kind of as a way to replace counseling which I stopped over summer. 
• Save $100/month for Christmas
• This is a "dream big" goal!
• If I do this, I know it will help us keep Christmas "cash only", which we managed this year, but was way more tight than we wanted it to be.
• I hope to achieve this by selling random items I come across as I organize the house in the new year. 
• Walk
• I know I need to workout to help reduce my stress level and improve my sleep.
• Walking happens to be my preferred method of exercise.
• So far, I have not made this happen (thanks to being sick myself & having sick kids) but hopefully I can start in February.
• Read 100 books
• Last year I made it to 89 and was this.close!
• This year I am planning to read at least 8 books a month, more some months.
• I hope to be reading at least 3 books at a time: one non-fiction, one fiction & one audio.
• I'll be posting more about my related "Unread Shelf Project" goals soon!
• "Center Down"
• This is a phrase Anne Morrow Lindbergh, mother of six, used in this quote that struck me some months ago: “Woman's life today is tending more and more toward the state William James describes so well in the German word, 'Zerrissenheit: torn-to-pieces-hood.' She cannot live perpetually in 'Zerrissenheit.' She will be shattered into a thousand pieces. On the contrary, she must consciously encourage those pursuits which oppose the centrifugal forces of today…. Solitude, says the moon shell. Center-down, say the Quaker saints." This idea of surviving the insanity of all the chaos around me by "centering down", finding peace within, and being the "eye of the storm" has been very useful as my home has grown more busy with each passing year. 
• I like this quote from Michael Singer's Untethered Soul as well: "The truth is, everything will be okay as soon as you are okay with everything."  
• I am going to try and make sure that throughout each day I am taking time to breathe and center myself because I know that much of our family's happiness revolves around my ability to keep my cool. (So much pressure!)

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What are your goals for 2020? Do you have a word for the year?

I'd love to hear all about it!

October Goals

 I have had the sudden realization that my birthday is in about six weeks.
I'll be turning thirty-six.  I kind of cannot believe that I will be thirty-six.

So far this year (since January) I have gotten on Prozac (an anti-depressant used to combat anxiety), started seeing a counselor (to learn strategies for living with stress & keeping my health worries at bay), began walking everyday (for both my mental and physical health) and tried meditating, as well as lost 33 pounds from eating healthier (real food, less processed junk & less sugar). 

This month I am wanting to give a little extra punch to my normal routine of counseling, walking & eating right, so I'm adding on a few goals.  To get myself ready for the big THREE-SIX.

1) No Social Media
You know when you hear something over and over (and over) again and you think, "Okay God. I hear you!"!?!
Well that was me about social media the last two weeks.  I found myself continuously thinking about how much time I was wasting on my phone, how distracted I was as a mother & wife, and how I wasn't getting done the things I wanted to be spending my time on. (ie home projects, blogging and reading books)
Then I listened to this podcast with Jen Hatmaker and Glennon Doyle, and that was a final straw.  I was done.  I deleted Facebook and Instagram off my phone, and the weirdest thing happened, you guys.
I felt FREE. Just, free.  Like, untethered.  Set loose.  It's been the most bizarre feeling.  I thought I would miss it, or ache for it, or pine for it. But I don't.  I just feel like I'm suddenly allowed to live. Really live.
The goal is to continue with none for the rest of October and then reassess at the end of the month and go from there.

2) Push Up Challenge
While I am super happy with how strong my body is now, and how I have shrunk since January, I would like to tighten my arms up, so I am going to do a daily push up challenge.
I started today with 10 push ups and I will do 1 additional push up each day through the end of the month. I sure hope I can do that many by the end of the month. Hah!!!

3) Blogtober
One time, when we lived in Alaska, I participated in a monthlong blog challenge called "Blogtober", where we blogged everyday in the month of October.  I remember really enjoying it, and getting caught up on all the drafts in my dashboard, so I am going to do the same thing this month.  It'll be the perfect opportunity to catch up on all the fun events I missed blogging over summer, and I think it'll be a really fun creative outlet since I've stepped away from Instagram and Facebook where I usually post daily thoughts & pictures.

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A fresh month just feels like a great time to make a list of goals and try to make them come true.  Also, October is notoriously hard for me because October is when I miscarried for the first time back in 2014, and it's like my body knows, so I get kind of down.  I have found having goals and shaking things up a bit tends to help me.

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And in case my list of goals, idyllic picture with my daughter or the fact that I am going off social media is making you feel bad about yourself, here's an outtake from our photo shoot.

That is my actual face (please double click on it. I'll wait...) while screaming "Jack Sawyer" because he was throwing his little brother down in the wet grass in his fancy "picture" clothes while I was doing pictures with his sister further up the path.

Oh parenting. You just never get dull. ;)

Around Here: Week Thirteen {2018}

($$ for a fundraiser)

Reading... eleven books in March!  This week I finished The Immortalists by Chloe Benjamin; Cold Tangerines by Shauna Niequist; Today Will be Different by Maria Semple (on audio); Every Note Played by Lisa Genova; and Uncommon Type by Tom Hanks (also on audio).  I am so excited to have surpassed my March goal of 8 books.  I think I was able to read so many books because I only read books that I liked. There were none on my list that I "had" to read.  I am apparently not the only reading fool in our family- Wyatt's weekly newsletter had calculated his yearly reading total and he has read 5,645 minutes so far this year at bedtime! (An average of 40 minutes each night- 20 minutes with Josh reading bedtime stories to him & his brothers, and 20 minutes of Wyatt silent reading to himself.) I'm so proud of him!

Spending... time outside with the kids last weekend while Josh was out of town.  The twins tried out their new Ripsticks (which they make look so easy!) and Wyatt rode his bike while Carly rolled a ball down the hill over and over.  I was grateful for breaks from friends (thanks Steve! thanks Yuliana!) and the chance for some one on one time with Wyatt Saturday night.  He's such a snuggly sweetheart.  We had pizza and watched Paddington.  He's now reading the Paddington chapter book, which he's really enjoying.  Last weekend Wyatt planted some peas with his Grandma Carol, and they are growing like crazy!  It's making us all excited for our garden this summer.  Tomatoes, pumpkins, corn, zucchini, rhubarb and maybe some watermelon- yum!

Surprising... my sister with a trip to visit her for her birthday! We met at a park and she had no idea we'd be there.  It was so fun to shout "Happy Birthday" and pop up to surprise her.  We had a fun day, letting the kids play, visiting, eating and sharing birthday cake with the birthday girl.  It makes me beyond grateful that we live so close.

Teaching... a ton of VIPkid classes this month.  I surpassed the 30 class mark, which bumps my pay up $.50/hr, which is a nice bonus, and with the new roof we need, it's a big help.  I'm back to my MWF gig, teaching 4:00-6:30am, as well as (most) Saturday nights 8-10pm.  I get to set my schedule each week, so I adjust as needed, but knowing we've got that big expense coming up, I have amped up my hours to help.  I have found that the more I work, the easier it is to get up and teach.  The alarm going off is less depressing, and teaching the actual classes is less stressful.  I am back to having lots of regulars after Chinese New Year (celebrated in February) and I am so happy to see those sweet kids' faces day after day.

Taking... Wyatt to his follow up with the pulmonologist in Spokane (about an hour and a half away).  His lungs are 100% healthy right now, which is great news, and she is really happy with how we have been doing at home managing his symptoms.  She said normally she sees patients every three months, but she doesn't want to see us again for six months.  That made me really proud of myself.  I have worked tirelessly to watch his peak flow numbers and listen for coughing to make sure I catch any issues early so we never (ever) end up in a situation like we were in in December.  It was emotional to see her again because she's the doctor I attribute with saving Wyatt's life.  After two days in the PICU, Wyatt still hadn't been getting well, when she came in to see us.  She decided that although none of the tests came back positive, she was going to put him on antibiotics, just to see if it would help.  And it did.  After her visit, we finally started to see him improve.

Walking... to school four days last week (only missing the day I had to drive Wyatt to Spokane for the pulmonologist).  The walk ends up being about three miles round trip (3/4 of a mile each way, times two, twice a day).  On Thursday I noticed a huge difference in how relaxed I felt as the boys bickered during bedtime. It was like I was floating above the bickering. It was amazing.  I also noticed that I felt deeply, peacefully, happy.  Not like a fleeting happy, but a sweet, abiding happy that was really serene.  So my hope is that as the weather continues to cooperate, I can continue walking them to school, because there was a noticeable difference in how I felt each day.

Feeling... blessed to be a stay at home mom, but wanting people to know that it's not without its sacrifices.  There are lots of things we don't do because of the finances of being a one-income family, and many things that are stressful because of that choice.  (Like discovering two weeks ago that we need a new roof.)  Some of the things we sacrifice so I can be home include pedicures, manicures, eating out, vacations and shopping at a grocery store that bags our groceries for us.  I give those things up so I can be available to my kids 24/7.  We make many sacrifices so that I can stay home (and every one is worth it!) but I think many times the things we give up go unnoticed, and that's frustrating.  When people say, "Oh it must be nice to be able to stay home," I want to say, "Uh, no. It's not "nice".  It's a hard fought choice, and one that I work tirelessly for."  Take, for instance, my new part-time job that has me up at 3:30am three times a week and teaching again until 10:00pm Saturday nights.  Would I rather be sleeping during those times? Heck yes! But we discovered last school year that being homeowners was a bit more expensive than we'd originally anticipated, so I agreed to do what I could to bring in a little money while still being home full time with Carly.  It's just hard when I have a conversation with someone who doesn't know the ins and outs of our family and they act like my being home is a luxury.

Enjoying... moms nite out, hosted by Josh's cousin's wife for a bunch of us local mama's.  We ate good food, enjoyed good company and even played a game before we all got too tired to carry on.  It was so fun and I hope we continue to meet up at least once a month.  That much laughter is absolutely necessary in my life.

Having... Wyatt's baseball practice all to myself this week as Josh was for some reason feeling insanely generous and offered to keep Carly!  So I brought my book and dropped Wyatt off to his coach and read in the absolute quiet of the truck for an hour and a half twice this week.  It was seriously the best.

Dealing... with a very sassy Carly lately who is super independent and knows what she wants.  She loves to brush her teeth, eat raisins and cereal, and go outside.  All by herself!!!  And if we don't let her do those things (exactly when she wants them!) we hear about it!  Holy tantrums!!!

Loving... the new cooked carrot recipe I found on Pinterest that has no brown sugar in it.  Huge fan!

• 5 tablespoons of butter
• 4 teaspoons of minced garlic
• Brown together (3 minutes) in skillet on medium without burning
• Toss with 2 lbs of carrots
• Cook on greased cookie tray
• 425 degrees for 22-30 minutes
• So so so delicious!

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Word of the Year: Measure

While contemplating what I wanted from 2018, I did a lot of thinking and list making. I read this quote by Tyler Knott Gregson and knew that he was spot on.  I want to give more.  I want to empty my heart everyday.  Into my friends, into my husband, into my children.  And I want to believe there is always enough time to become who I am meant to be. 

With those things in mind, I began contemplating what word I wanted to choose as my theme for 2018.  Last night it came to me.

The word is "measure" and I have to give Gretchen Rubin full credit for this being my word for the year. In her book, Better Than Before (which is a brilliant book to read if you are making lots of new years resolutions) she says that "We only manage what we measure".  I have seen the last few months how true this is.  When I started keeping track of my "not yelling" with stickers on the calendar in our kitchen, I suddenly became very motivated to see seven in a row.  I wanted a little smiley face on each day of the month.

It was with this in mind that I compiled my list of things I want to do (a few new goals, mixed with some of my 100 small things list that remains).  I am very excited to see what 2018 will hold for me!

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I have broken up my goals for the new year into different sections, using "measure" as the theme for each.  (see below)

We only manage what we measure:

• Change our eating (following a semi-paleo diet), writing it all down!
• try a new shrimp recipe
• try a new fish recipe
• Move my body (working out 3x/week)
• get a bike for me
• get a bike for Josh
• buy family pool pass
• hike with my dad
• kayak with my mom
• try some yoga
• do 20 pushups/day
• write out some body positivity mantras
• walk to school as much as possible

Albert Einstein said, "The measure of intelligence is the ability to change." And I want to be intelligent.  Therefore, I must prove to myself my ability to change.  Josh and I have talked for a while about changing our eating habits (for ourselves and our children) and this is the year we're going to do it. Personally, I am going to be making sure I exercise 3x/week.  I was successful in August, September & October, but the cold in November & December got the best of me. I'm determined for January to be better.

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How do you measure success?

• Not yelling or swearing at my kids
• add more hugs & snuggling
• be present
• Reaching out to/being there for friends
• call!
• write!
• send mail!
• plan small group get together
• movies with my sister
• keep track of birthdays/anniversaries this year

I measure success not in a clean house or a fancy car or a skinny body, but in loving those around me and being there for them.  One way I can be there for my kids is by being an example of a calm, loving adult (aka: one who doesn't swear or yell) and one way I can be there for my friends is by reaching out when I think of them, and being there for them when they need me. 

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Don't worry if you don't measure up:

• Less Facebook, Instagram (phone lives on the counter, 2 check times/day)
• Screen-free weekdays for my kids
• 1 screen-free weekday for myself
• try media-free mornings for me
• Decrease TV consumption & increase reading 
• Read 52 books again this year (one per week)
• check in monthly with Inspired Readers
• read random books with my kids!

The more time I spend with screens- watching TV, scrolling Facebook and Instagram- the more poorly I start to feel about myself and my status in life.  Despite the blessings around me, if I get more invested in my "online" life or friends than I am in my real life, I start to lose perspective.  So I am going to try and treat my cell phone like a house phone.  Let it live on the kitchen counter, out of sight & out of mind, so I can get more "life" lived (or at least more books read!) ha!

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How will I measure my life?

• Slow, purposeful bedtimes with the kids
• read 10 chapter books with the boys this year
• continue journaling back & forth with Jack
• celebrate Mother's Day for those around us
• celebrate Father's Day for those around us
• visit the library 1x/month
• do a monthly 'crafternoon' for the kids
• rotate consistently who helps with dinner
• continue family grooming day Sundays (cut nails, haircuts, etc.)
• cousin playdate with the Tucker's 

Time with loved ones is, in the end, all that will matter.  I want my daily life to show that.  I want to make this ordinary life special, by celebrating the little things, by carrying out traditions and being deliberate in where we spend our time.  

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Loved Beyond Measure:

• record my kids' lives (on the blog & in person)
• create a family photo book
• figure out a memorabilia system for the kids
• blog 3x weekly
• Do "a week in the life" post
• Introduce "Alaska Living" page
• Month-long blog writing challenge
• Share favorite kid books
• Finish my blog story
• Share how we do chores
• Empty dashboard of drafts (all.of.them!) by August 2018
• 100 small things quarterly update
• take care of myself, too!
• Go To Bed!!! (Why is this so hard!?!)
• meditate
• read Happier At Home
• reorganize the desk
• reorganize the office (...again...)
• write inspirational quotes to hang around the house
• watch 3 documentaries
• write out prayers to rid myself of anxiety
• write one chapter of my novel each month

I want my family to know in the future that they have been loved beyond measure.  For me that means better record keeping, more blogging and more memory books.  But my kids aren't the only ones I want "feeling the love"-- I also want to take care of myself!  Because what they say is true: "If mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy!" It really isn't selfish to prioritize my needs.  When I am happier, our whole house is happier, and tends to run more smoothly.

And to remember always that I am blessed beyond measure!

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Around Here: Week 52

This is it, folks.  

Another year of "Around Here" posts complete... 

52 weeks in my life, captured here on the blog. 

I know that someday I will be so grateful for the effort I put into recording our regular, everyday family life on this blog.  

 

Embracing... a new tradition of opening books on Christmas Eve and spending the evening reading them.  I was thrilled when the kids were as happy as I was with the new tradition.

Making... cinnamon rolls on Christmas Eve, which is a longstanding tradition from my childhood.  We call them cinnamon rolls, but they're really caramel rolls.  The recipe is my grandma's, and I remember making them with my mom when I was a girl.

Celebrating... the most perfect Christmas day ever with my kids & husband.  The children stayed in bed until 6:30am, then we all walked out to the living room to open presents together.  They loved their gifts from Santa (a Nerf gun for Logan; a remote control car for Jack; Magic Tracks for Wyatt; and a dollhouse for Carly) and their gifts from us.  It was the first year where no one was asking, "Are their more presents?" and that made me so happy.  I love that they had grateful hearts, not greedy ones. 

Saying... goodbye to Dashy, our Christmas elf.  I have to say that even I miss him!  The boys love spending the month of December waking up to his shenanigans, and as much work as it is, I have loved watching them enjoy his magic this year.  I think maybe I treasured this year so much because I have a feeling it may be Logan & Jack's last year believing.  So far, they have no doubts, but they are approaching that age. So it felt extra special. 

Continuing... to nurse Carly just once a day at nap time.  I am thinking that once we cross into the new year, it won't be long before we're done.  Just in time for her second birthday. 
What a blessing it has been to be able to nurse her for this long.

Enjoying... lots of laid back days, playing Legos and Nerf guns while everyone is out of school.  The twins have made the most of the bit of snow we got last Friday and have been sledding everyday.  Then Josh surprised me and took the twins out of town with him Wednesday through Friday, and it was so lovely.  Two kids (by comparison) is a cake walk. Ha!  I took a bath, read a book and did plenty of blogging!

Watching... our yard bunny out the window constantly.  I think I get as excited as the kids!

Organizing... our bedrooms and cleaning house in preparation for my parents' visit.  It feels so good to have the house clean & organized.  Sometime next week we will undecorate the house, which sometimes makes me sad, but mostly makes me excited for the new year.  I just love a clean, fresh space.

Still... listening to Scream Free Parenting and watching The Crown when I have a spare moment.

Finishing... Winter Street and starting Winter Stroll. I also bought Sophie's Choice and This Is How It Always Is for the new year.  One of my favorite things to do when a new year is coming is to make a list of all the books I want to read.  It makes me so excited.  This week I have also been counting my "books read" for 2018.  I am currently at 67, and that's probably where I'll end the year.  My goal was 50, which, at the time, felt lofty. So to close out the year at 67 after not reading a drop in October or November, feels amazing!!!

Loving... how the boys will read to Carly (over and over and over again) with no complaints.  At 23 months she is loving books so much and I couldn't be happier!

Contemplating... what goals I have for 2018, as well as how many books I want to read, and what I want my "Word of the Year" to be. In 2014 it was "content"; in 2015 it was "linger"; in 2016 it was "gentle"; and this year was "embrace."
What goals do you have for the new year? Do you set reading goals? And what are you "word of the year" ideas? I'd love to hear what you all think!

-Tyler Knott Gregson

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