Showing posts with label instagram. Show all posts
Showing posts with label instagram. Show all posts

8.15.2020

around here: week 31 2020

{July 26-August 1}







{reading to Molly}

 


{Phoenix & Mrs. Cunningham}

{my boy}









{Carly's porcupine drawing}




Sending... the boys off with Josh to go shooting while Carly had a playdate with Liesel and Andrea.  They had so much fun and I really enjoyed the house to myself. (Time alone is my love language.)

Spending... time with cousins, swimming, talking, laughing, and making memories in the last few days Josh's sister was in town with her kids before they left.  I am so grateful for these days we had together (after our talk-which I shared last week), for us and for our kids.  So much magic.

Learning... that Josh's district has changed from in-person to online.  I'm glad this decision was made because I think it's safe based on the number of cases their county is still seeing, but I am disappointed for Josh who would (in a perfect world) rather teach in person.  It's such a different experience trying to reach kids through a screen.

Surviving... with Josh off in meetings all day Tuesday, starting with a consultation with a urologist for a vasectomy (we are so done having kids- quarantine confirmed this. hah!) and followed by a meeting with his fourth grade teaching team while the twins were off at the land with Grandma, Papa & Alvin.

Attending... book club to choose our next six months of books.  We ended up deciding on Prairie Lotus, The Giver of Stars, The Princess Bride, Lila, Mindset and Grace Where You Are.  I'm especially excited for Lila, which is part of a trilogy (Gilead, Home & Lila) I ordered used from Powell's and have heard about from multiple people I follow on Bookstagram & in the blogging world.  I can't wait to dive in!

Grateful... that Josh took Molly to the vet for me after his meeting with his student teacher so I could stay & play with Shana and her kids.  She is good on shots and appointments until she is old enough to get spayed. It's nice to have that done.

Enjoying... a pool playdate with  my bestie & her kids on Wednesday.  She brought pizza for lunch and then we let the kids swim.  They had a lot of fun together, and I love her kids.  They're so cute!

Doing... laundry like a madwoman while Carly & Wyatt were at the land Thursday.  Between loads I also managed to get a nap and some downtime, which was lovely.

Feeling... proud of Carly as she worked through her emotions about a dead porcupine she saw in the parking lot at Dollar Tree with Grandma Carol this week.  When she saw it she asked, "Why is it out of nature?" She's so smart and curious.  When I chatted with her about it, she was adamant that it was not dead, just seemed dead, so we concluded that the woman "helping" it was taking it to the vet.  She's so tenderhearted.

Hearing... the devastating news that one of my students from my days as a staff assistant (pre-kids) has passed away.  Phoenix was my boy.  He was the one who made me come in on days when I didn't want to.  He is the one who made me want to do a better job, be a better person, make the world a better place.  I truly cannot believe he is dead. I feel awful for his mom and his brothers.
His loss has hit me harder than I could have ever imagined.  I am so grateful his mom thought to reach out and find me (thank you, Facebook) to let me know that he's gone, and to let me know the impact I had on him.  Because he certainly had an impact on me.

Packing... for our trip to Vancouver Friday amidst reading journals of my time with Phoenix back in 2006.  My favorite was finding an entry about him (in first grade) informing the teacher that George Washington had wooden teeth during his presidency... you know, back when the dinosaurs were alive. Haha! He was such a joy. Always making me laugh or think deep thoughts.

Quietly... enjoying chicken bacon pizza Josh made with tomatoes and onion from our garden while we watched The Martian, a lovely reprieve from my thoughts and sadness about Phoenix.

Leaving... for Vancouver and looking forward to a lovely visit with my parents.

Starting... an Instagram reading account and feeling so happy about it. I feel like such a nerd for the amount of joy it brings me. Please check it out if you enjoy reading or want recommendations. I'd love to talk books there with you! @shellyreadsbooks

Contemplating... getting a tattoo in honor of Phoenix.  I currently have no tattoos, and am the only one in my family of origin who doesn't have one.  My parents both have them, my sister and brother have them, and my youngest brother is actually a tattoo artist. It's funny... but not having a tattoo (in my family)  makes me the black sheep. Hah!
I was telling Josh that I just feel like I want to do something permanent to show that Phoenix had an impact on me.  I'm not sure if I will go through with it. And I don't know what I would get it, but it's something I'm considering. I am thinking of either a black phoenix like I have posted above (below the pictures of him) or his name in tiny cursive somewhere.

(His family has a gofundme to help with funeral costs & getting his body from Florida, where he died from complications of heat stroke, back home to Washington. If you want to donate, I've included the link.)

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2006 Baby Name List
While reading through my old journals to find nuggets of time with Phoenix I had recorded, I found this list of names.  I didn't know or remember that Carly was a name I liked before I was pregnant with her.  That made me smile.
When I was pregnant with the twins, their names would have been Bailey Renee (or Bailey Kate) and Claire Ariella if they had been girls. And Logan would have been Landon, but I knew of a girl whose baby Landon had died traumatically, so that name made me think of him, and I switched to Logan, after Mary Ann's boyfriend in The Baby-Sitter's Club.  And Josh said he didn't want a "junior" so we just named Jack Jack, no junior.  But I did use Sawyer and Henry as middle names for the twins.
So fun to look at.

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1.12.2020

Year After Year

Just for fun I gathered my Top 9 from all my years on Instagram.
2014-2019







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5.12.2019

Mama

This Mother's Day I am loving this post about motherhood
 that my friend Ashley tagged me in on Instagram 
that I think everyone should read.  
I've decided to share it here:


Mama, I see you ⁣
I see how you worry, Mama ⁣
I see how afraid you are of this big world ⁣
I know how you wonder, Mama⁣
Will she be safe, will he fit in⁣
I know how the fear can swirl ⁣

Mama, I see you⁣
how you feel alone ⁣
Isolated in your home ⁣
Or in your 9 to 5⁣
I see you working to the bone ⁣


Mama, I see you ⁣
Missing your baby ⁣
The one you couldn’t keep⁣
And oh, how you weep ⁣
I see you ⁣
Wrapped in the pain⁣
Tears falling like rain ⁣

Mama, I see you ⁣
The ache in your heart ⁣
the hurt and the scars ⁣
It tears you apart ⁣
no babes in your arms ⁣
The longing you feel ⁣
The waiting is real ⁣
Will it ever end? ⁣
I see you, my friend ⁣

I see you, Mama⁣
When you feel you’re too much ⁣
Or you’re never enough ⁣
When you try to find your tribe ⁣
And you only come up dry ⁣


Mama I see you ⁣
When you make a mistake ⁣
When you cause hurt and pain ⁣
When anxiety tells you it can’t be erased ⁣

I see you Mama⁣
in the yelling and rage ⁣
When you try to overcome ⁣
your own childhood shame ⁣
When you want to be good ⁣
But you feel like a fake ⁣
When you try to break the cycle ⁣
And you mess up again ⁣

Mama I see you ⁣
And you know what I see? ⁣
I see beauty and goodness ⁣
and someone like me ⁣
I see a valiant warrior ⁣
with a heart soft as mink ⁣

I see a woman showing up ⁣
who they cannot sink ⁣
I see your fire, your fury ⁣
Your refusal to shrink ⁣

And you are LOVED LOVED LOVED ⁣
And you shine and you shine ⁣
And Heaven looks down upon you ⁣
And says ⁣
“This girl is mine.”⁣

I love you, Mama. 

Wrote this for you

-Heather Schieder


5.03.2019

Week 17 Around Here {2019}















{Carly's first self portrait}




{My guy & his dad}
{Grandma Carol & Carly May}
{He's always playing with her hair. Melts my heart.}
{Uncle Samuel & his biggest fan}











Celebrating... Easter by having Josh's parents and brother over for dinner.  Josh did all the cooking and I baked a carrot cake from scratch with my grandma Beverly's recipe.  Everything was super yummy and the company was really lovely.  The kids loved their easter baskets (the boys all got pens and locking journals- for privacy!) and Carly got a stuffed kitty & a game called Spot It Jr., plus some candy.
They did an easter egg hunt in the backyard, which Carly has replayed every single day since (hiding her own eggs and "finding" them again) which is adorable, and tiresome. Ha!

Baseballin'... four times this week.  The twins had games Saturday, Monday & Wednesday and Wyatt had games Tuesday & Wednesday, so we all got in a lot of game watching, and Wednesday Josh and I had to "divide & conquer"- him taking the twins to their game (he's their coach) and me taking Wyatt and Carly to Wyatt's game.

Watching... Wyatt's sunflower plants grow.  Last year he had one GIANT sunflower that we left all year (through the winter) and it seeded and started to grow baby sunflowers this spring.  So now the garden patch is FULL of little green plants that started as sunflower seeds and are now sprouting up, with the poppped open sunflower shells still sitting atop the plants like little hats. So cute!

Rushing... to school early Tuesday morning when they called me because Logan had gone to the office complaining of an aura (the feeling he has preceding a seizure).  I got there with Carly & Wyatt to check on him, and found that he had maybe already had a seizure (based on his description of symptoms).  So we walked back to his classroom together and I took some notes from a fellow classmate who'd been sitting at the back table with him.
Sure enough, the way his friend described Logan during those few moments leads me to believe Logan did, indeed, have a breakthrough seizure. (After five months seizure free) He came home with me for the rest of the day so I could keep an eye on him, and I put a call in to his neurologist.  She had warned us that with hormones and growing, we could see some breakthrough seizures because he was on the low end of the therapeutic dose.
She suggested we put him on 1,000mg of the Depakote at night and keep on 500mg in the morning.  So that is what we are now doing and thus far, he hasn't had any more seizures. (fingers crossed)

Seeing... my counselor for the first time since mid-February.  I had thought I had more scheduled at the time, but I didn't and by the time I got around to scheduling more, there weren't any openings until now.  I did okay without the visits for a little while, but then it got hard not seeing him every couple weeks.
We talked this week about my inability to see my worth and how I am allowed to have needs.  I think sometimes as a wife and mother, I believe I should be able to pour from an empty bucket.  Turns out, I can't.  Or at least not very well.  I have also noticed that I'm really hard on myself.  When I make a mistake, I say to myself in my mind (and sometimes even out loud) "Mom fail!" So my work this week is to let myself have needs, to allow myself to be human (no more labeling accidents as "mom fails") and to ask for help if and when I need it.

Forgetting... snacks for Wyatt's team on Wednesday, which was a huge test for me, as I had just recently seen my counselor and discussed my recent bout with perfectionism and how whenever I make a mistake I am super hard on myself.  So I took a deep  breath, apologized to the other moms and told them it had been a tough week, and accepted their kind words of understanding.  They assured me a sugary, after game snack was NOT a big deal and that no one was upset.
Normally I would have beat myself up the entire way home, maybe even the whole week about it, but I was determined to accept their easy forgiveness and offer myself grace, so I quickly moved on, telling myself I am "human" and that means making errors. #onesmallstep

Facing... an aggressive dad at the park when our boys all got in a scuffle with each other, as ten and twelve year old boys are wont to do, and he came over looking for us.  When Josh didn't discipline our boys passionately enough to his liking, he wanted to step in for him and things got tense, but Josh quietly stood his ground and the man eventually walked away.  But the whole rest of the evening he kept posturing, trying to get between me and my kids, staring us down... it was incredibly uncomfortable.  But in the end, it was a good lesson for my boys- to not fight with others at the playground; to run for help if others are fighting with you; and that as an adult, that father should have known better than trying to solve problems with yelling, swearing, and posturing.

Attending... a positive parent-teacher conference for Logan that made Josh and I so proud of him.  He has done a complete turn around during this third quarter, getting his name on the Self Manager list; moving himself when his fellow students distract him; and improving all his grades.  It was so great to watch him as his teacher listed off all the ways in which he has progressed.  He was positively beaming.

Reading... Rising Strong, Miracle Creek & The Midwife of Hope River.  I am so excited because The Midwife of Hope River is the first in a series of three, and I love it.  I am listening to it, and it has me doing all.the.chores so I can listen a little more. ;)

Watching... Season Seven of Call The Midwife on Netflix.  Gosh I love that show so much!  (Thanks for telling me the new season was on, mom!)

Losing... my flipping mind with all the bottle flipping Wyatt does. Lord help me.  The constant CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK is mind numbing. Ahhh!

Getting... a spacer put in for Logan & Jack at the orthodontist this week, and adjusting it nightly, to slowly spread out their upper jaw, spreading their teeth (and whole smile really) bit by bit.  It has taken some getting used to in terms of talking and eating, but they have handled it really well.  We also had to get Logan's wire replaced for the second and third time.  The third time was because he lost a tooth that had a bracket on it, and that caused the wire to become loose & start poking him in the back of the mouth at bedtime.  So Josh had to cut it out.  Thank goodness the hygienists at the orthodontists office are so dang patient with him!

Loving... the drive to Josh's parents land.  It's in the country and I always feel so relaxed on the drive out.

Inspired... by so many of the Instagram accounts I follow- Meredith Toering, Morgan Harper Nichols, Tiffany Gray, Laura Bentley, Laura Kelley, and Sherry Duerre.

Laughing... as Carly begged me to "go super fast like Blaze" on the way home from Grandma & Papa's land, and when I told her I couldn't, that if I did the police would get me she responded vehemently, "No they won't! You're a mom!"
Hah! I want to get that in writing!

Thankful... for friends who see me clearly, and love me dearly. I am so blessed by them.  They buoy me up, assure me I am not alone in this crazy adventure we call "motherhood", and encourage me to carry on when life gets hard.  Particularly my book club girls- meeting with them every month brings me such joy.

For a laugh:

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