Around Here: Week 43 2020

 {October 18-24th}

{My mom & my older brother Dalton}

{My grandpa getting his chemo}

{note the high heels}

Welcoming... Josh home after he was gone all weekend working at my grandparent's house. It was so kind of him and his brother to do all that work for Grandma Pansy & Grandpa Jerry, and I really appreciated him being my hands while I am able to do so little to help them. 

Grateful... that Grandpa's second chemo treatment went really well, and he isn't suffering any side effects or anything other than tiredness.  It's such a blessing. Also a blessing that they can get the treatment in a neighboring town. They don't have to go all the way to Portland to get it each week. 

Enduring... Carly waking every night at least once a night. It is just exhausting. But it's also bittersweet because I know that this phase won't last forever, and soon I won't have any kids waking me up at night regularly.  So while I wears me out, I am also trying to cherish it. I feel like that balancing act in itself sums up motherhood.  Trying to enjoy it while not letting it kill you.

Washing... dishes for dayssssss when I didn't do them the entire weekend Josh was gone. A lot of people asked why the kids don't help with the dishes, and please don't worry, they do.  But that weekend we were on the go and then just relaxing, so we just never got to them.  And by the time I needed to face them, it was a bit overwhelming of a task to lay on the boys, so I did them myself. But the twins do dishes a lot, and Josh cooks or does the dishes pretty much every single night. I am very lucky!  (But I do need to get better at adding paper plates to my regular grocery list. Hah!)

Laughing... when Carly showed up downstairs in a dress up dress and crown and demanded that I "bow at her".  (For those wondering, I for sure bowed at her... I was a little afraid of what might happen if I didn't.)

Swearing... at the twins when they lost their shit over a zoom meeting I made them attend and wanting to just disappear Monday... They weren't listening; I had no patience; and together, we made school at home feel like hell on earth.  We are six weeks in, and still I am struggling.  They want to set the agenda for the day, or only do what the teacher says... but I am the adult in charge here, and reminding them of that constantly is getting quite old.  

So...

Grounding... the twins from their game consoles and all screens for the foreseeable future until they can say, "Okay mom" to whatever I ask without arguing or losing their minds.  While Josh was home, it was much less of a struggle to get them to listen, but now that he's at work everyday, I am feeling very on my own, and we had a bit of a "Come to Jesus".  All the things they have here in this house, are a privilege, and one they have to earn by doing their jobs- both chores around here and school.  So until they shape up, screens are out. 

Trading... screens for chores on Tuesday.  
The twins cleaned out the garage, weeded the yard and did multiple jobs in the house during what would normally have been their screen time. I am hopeful this motivates them to be more respectful of me.

Watching... When Calls The Heart, season by season, working my way toward the new seasons (6 & 7) that I bought on Amazon Prime.  I can't wait to see what the new seasons hold. 

Feeling... proud of the twins for pouring themselves into their NWEA testing (reading) on Thursday.  They both took their time and got scores that were right where they should be.  I'm always glad when their test scores reflect what they actually know.

Suffering... a migraine Friday and letting myself stay in bed. It meant the kids got more screen time than I would have liked (the twins earned theirs back with their good job/focus on the NWEA) but when I have a migraine, it's about survival. 

Removing... Carly's pink booster seat from her kitchen table chair.  I don't know what it is, that she's my last, or maybe that I only have a few things left from her infancy & toddlerhood, but moving on from those baby items is super hard for my heart.  

We sold her bike trailer because she can ride a bike with training wheels now.  We gave her tricycle to my niece.  She no longer wears diapers or bibs, never took a bottle or a binky, and I have her stroller, but I know that I won't ever use it again. I just haven't bit the bullet and gotten rid of it yet. 

So unbuckling that tiny chair from her seat before dinner this week felt monumental.  

She will be five in two months. Five. I can't even believe it. 

And even though it's going too fast, and I want to slow time down, I also wouldn't trade it for anything. Watching her grow up is my greatest joy. 

So very bittersweet. 

Enjoying... book club which met via Zoom this week to discuss our book, Lila by Marilynne Robinson. The discussion went from distance learning to the book to our value as women, and what impacts our self esteem and our self worth. It is just so good for my soul to spend time with those women.  They all understand my role as wife and mother, and they understand the demands placed on my shoulders.  They are so kind and good to me (and each other) and they have been a super bright spot throughout quarantine.  I love you Legenda Ladies!!!

Reading... The Body Keeps Score (which is a slow read that I want to fully absorb before rushing to the next chapter) and Leave The World Behind, which is a page turner from Book of the Month.  Seriously, I was dying to find out what happens in Leave The World Behind. (But, semi-spoiler-alert, I was not pleased with the ending of LTWB at all!)

Seeing... the pic of my older brother and my mom sharing one last dinner before she moves away (from him, but closer to me & my sister!) made me tear up. I am so grateful that they were able to do that, and I just love my brother. 

Falling... head over heels for the tree in front of our house. It is the most beautiful color in October, and it feels like a gift.  It always makes me think of Anne of Green Gables saying, "I'm so glad I live in a world with Octobers." 

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around here: week 23 2020

Reading... The House on The Cerulean Sea (and loving it!) The Call of the Wild (and finishing it!) and listening to Hidden Valley Road (and being consumed by it!).  The House on The Cerulean Sea is about magical children kept in orphanages and is just the sweetest story that has you rooting all the way to the end!  The Call of the Wild had some archaic writing, but enough action to keep the boys engaged, and they were especially thrilled when I was able to finish in time for the twins' birthday and we got to rent the new release of the movie (with Harrison Ford) and watch it after reading the book. Hidden Valley Road is about a family with twelve children, six of whom developed schizophrenia.  It is incredibly well researched and teaches you not just about the Galvin family, but about schizophrenia through the ages and how far medicine has come in understanding its nature over the years. Highly recommend.
I also purchased Me & White Supremacy on my kindle and will be working through that over the  next few weeks.

Eating... our first strawberries picked from the garden, and I have never tasted something so sweet in my life. Warm from the sun, and so juicy!! Now Carly goes out every morning to see if there are more ripe ones, ready for the pickin'.

Learning... about racism, white privilege and what difference I can make as our country was put in the limelight by some terrible tragedies recently.  I know that I won't get it all right as I learn about what I (as a white woman) can do to help, but I'm okay with making mistakes as long as I am trying and growing, and doing my best to help my children grow up to understand better and do better.

Teaching... my children about racism and white privilege by sharing some videos and books with them (linked here and here) and discussing what we can do to make a difference- like speaking up when we see racism in our daily lives.  In jokes or in treatment of those around us.  We have had many conversations (middle schoolers have a lot of questions) and I'm sure there will be more to come, but I'm willing to have the hard talks, and even to answer, "I don't know" if it means my kids minds are opening and seeing things they haven't considered before.

Weeding... the garden when I had a killer migraine on Saturday and didn't want to take a migraine pill for the fifth day in a row. I figured if I was in pain anyway, I may as well do something miserable, so weed the garden it was. Hah! I actually ended up enjoying myself (as much as I could with a pounding head) because I was listening to a book on tape, and that's my happy place.

Feeling... amazed as Josh and his brother Samuel laid concrete in our backyard to extend our existing deck into something larger and more family friendly for us.  We are so thrilled about it and can't wait to start hosting family parties out there!

Picking up... Carly's new glasses and dying over how cute the pink frames are on her little face. How did I get so lucky?

Taking... Molly to the vet when her eye gunk issues turned into what seemed to be a respiratory issue.  Sure enough the doctor gave her some antibiotics and now she is feeling and sounding MUCH better. I'm so grateful.  While we waited for the vet (you just sit in your car and they come to get your pet from you) Molly sat on my shoulder like a pirate. She's such a silly little one.

Loving... all our pets so much these days.  Grady has been so loving and patient, being sweet with Carly (giving hugs) and gentle with Molly.  George has slowly been getting more tolerant with Molly, although mostly he still looks at her like we brought an alien into the house. Ha! And Molly is just 100% unbridled joy.  We love her when she's crazy, running around feisty, and we love her when she's curled up sleeping, being the cutest kitten that ever there was.  She was just the happiness dose we needed to perk us all up.

Hosting... my sister and her crew for the day on the Saturday and feeling SO glad she lives so close!  We haven't seen each other since before the Stay At Home order in Washington began (some 70+ days?!?) and we ALL missed each other, sisters, cousins, all of us!!
Those of you who have been around a while may recognize that in addition to her boys, Milo & Ferris, and her little Romy  (who is talking SO much all of a sudden!), she also has Annie for a visit.  Our hearts are SO full seeing this sweetheart.  And seeing her with Carly?! I can't even!!!

Celebrating... a dozen years of parenthood as the twins turned twelve this week.  We partied with my sister and her kids, eating cake & ice cream and having an epic water balloon fight where Roxanne (my sister) and I were the unsuspecting victims.  Hah! 

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