Around Here: Week 43 2020

 {October 18-24th}

{My mom & my older brother Dalton}

{My grandpa getting his chemo}

{note the high heels}

Welcoming... Josh home after he was gone all weekend working at my grandparent's house. It was so kind of him and his brother to do all that work for Grandma Pansy & Grandpa Jerry, and I really appreciated him being my hands while I am able to do so little to help them. 

Grateful... that Grandpa's second chemo treatment went really well, and he isn't suffering any side effects or anything other than tiredness.  It's such a blessing. Also a blessing that they can get the treatment in a neighboring town. They don't have to go all the way to Portland to get it each week. 

Enduring... Carly waking every night at least once a night. It is just exhausting. But it's also bittersweet because I know that this phase won't last forever, and soon I won't have any kids waking me up at night regularly.  So while I wears me out, I am also trying to cherish it. I feel like that balancing act in itself sums up motherhood.  Trying to enjoy it while not letting it kill you.

Washing... dishes for dayssssss when I didn't do them the entire weekend Josh was gone. A lot of people asked why the kids don't help with the dishes, and please don't worry, they do.  But that weekend we were on the go and then just relaxing, so we just never got to them.  And by the time I needed to face them, it was a bit overwhelming of a task to lay on the boys, so I did them myself. But the twins do dishes a lot, and Josh cooks or does the dishes pretty much every single night. I am very lucky!  (But I do need to get better at adding paper plates to my regular grocery list. Hah!)

Laughing... when Carly showed up downstairs in a dress up dress and crown and demanded that I "bow at her".  (For those wondering, I for sure bowed at her... I was a little afraid of what might happen if I didn't.)

Swearing... at the twins when they lost their shit over a zoom meeting I made them attend and wanting to just disappear Monday... They weren't listening; I had no patience; and together, we made school at home feel like hell on earth.  We are six weeks in, and still I am struggling.  They want to set the agenda for the day, or only do what the teacher says... but I am the adult in charge here, and reminding them of that constantly is getting quite old.  

So...

Grounding... the twins from their game consoles and all screens for the foreseeable future until they can say, "Okay mom" to whatever I ask without arguing or losing their minds.  While Josh was home, it was much less of a struggle to get them to listen, but now that he's at work everyday, I am feeling very on my own, and we had a bit of a "Come to Jesus".  All the things they have here in this house, are a privilege, and one they have to earn by doing their jobs- both chores around here and school.  So until they shape up, screens are out. 

Trading... screens for chores on Tuesday.  
The twins cleaned out the garage, weeded the yard and did multiple jobs in the house during what would normally have been their screen time. I am hopeful this motivates them to be more respectful of me.

Watching... When Calls The Heart, season by season, working my way toward the new seasons (6 & 7) that I bought on Amazon Prime.  I can't wait to see what the new seasons hold. 

Feeling... proud of the twins for pouring themselves into their NWEA testing (reading) on Thursday.  They both took their time and got scores that were right where they should be.  I'm always glad when their test scores reflect what they actually know.

Suffering... a migraine Friday and letting myself stay in bed. It meant the kids got more screen time than I would have liked (the twins earned theirs back with their good job/focus on the NWEA) but when I have a migraine, it's about survival. 

Removing... Carly's pink booster seat from her kitchen table chair.  I don't know what it is, that she's my last, or maybe that I only have a few things left from her infancy & toddlerhood, but moving on from those baby items is super hard for my heart.  

We sold her bike trailer because she can ride a bike with training wheels now.  We gave her tricycle to my niece.  She no longer wears diapers or bibs, never took a bottle or a binky, and I have her stroller, but I know that I won't ever use it again. I just haven't bit the bullet and gotten rid of it yet. 

So unbuckling that tiny chair from her seat before dinner this week felt monumental.  

She will be five in two months. Five. I can't even believe it. 

And even though it's going too fast, and I want to slow time down, I also wouldn't trade it for anything. Watching her grow up is my greatest joy. 

So very bittersweet. 

Enjoying... book club which met via Zoom this week to discuss our book, Lila by Marilynne Robinson. The discussion went from distance learning to the book to our value as women, and what impacts our self esteem and our self worth. It is just so good for my soul to spend time with those women.  They all understand my role as wife and mother, and they understand the demands placed on my shoulders.  They are so kind and good to me (and each other) and they have been a super bright spot throughout quarantine.  I love you Legenda Ladies!!!

Reading... The Body Keeps Score (which is a slow read that I want to fully absorb before rushing to the next chapter) and Leave The World Behind, which is a page turner from Book of the Month.  Seriously, I was dying to find out what happens in Leave The World Behind. (But, semi-spoiler-alert, I was not pleased with the ending of LTWB at all!)

Seeing... the pic of my older brother and my mom sharing one last dinner before she moves away (from him, but closer to me & my sister!) made me tear up. I am so grateful that they were able to do that, and I just love my brother. 

Falling... head over heels for the tree in front of our house. It is the most beautiful color in October, and it feels like a gift.  It always makes me think of Anne of Green Gables saying, "I'm so glad I live in a world with Octobers." 

***

around here: week 14 2020

Mopping... the house downstairs and loving how clean it feels when I do so. 

Working... tirelessly toward spring break, helping the boys get caught up on missing work while at the same time trying to get into our groove with online learning. We are looking forward to a week off next week very much and are willing to do whatever it takes to make sure that happens!

Reading... lots of books at the same time currently, and finding that I am reading a lot more real books right now as opposed to listening to audio books. I also got to choose my Book of the Month book for April.  I chose Beach Read and am so excited to save it for this summer.
I'm planning all my April reading, which includes Sweep for book club and finishing Untamed as well.  I am hoping to read at least eight books in April, but I would be thrilled if it were more. Time will tell.
As this month wrapped up I put together my numbers for The Unread Shelf and wasn't impressed, but also wasn't too upset considering all the world has been through in the last month.
I started at 120 Unread Books.  I got rid of 2 Unread Books that I no longer wanted and read one Unread Book and purchased 4 new books. So I ended at 121 Unread Books.

Riding... bikes as a family on the daily.  It is, hands down, everyone's favorite time of day, and I'm so grateful that we can still do that one thing together.

Loving... the quote by Glennon Doyle about being human:

"Being human is not hard because you're doing it wrong, 

it's hard because you're doing it right.  

You will never change the fact that being human is hard, 

so you must change your idea that it was ever supposed to be easy."

Walking... the dog with Josh, and feeling so grateful for fresh air and time to talk to Josh without interruptions from the kids.

Talking... on the phone with Wyatt's pulmonologist for a phone appointment and discussing his use of Singulair (a medication that is used to help with asthma & allergies) after hearing that it has been linked with depression & suicide, and knowing a family friend whose son was on it and took his own life. I am grateful to say that his doctor was very understanding about my concerns and agreed that Wyatt is doing well enough currently to try and get off the Singulair.  I am anxious to see how he does off of it, and am hopeful he can do well without it since the side effects can be so serious as he ages.

Watching... the governor again.  This time he told us that he is extending Washington's "Stay home-Stay Healthy" order through May 4th.  I understand (and agree) that we need to stay quarantined longer for our health and safety, but that doesn't make it any easier to accept this new reality. 
My mom was also upset about the extension and Josh, trying to cheer her up and make her laugh, shared a meme he had read recently.  It was about a person bragging how in the last two weeks, she hadn't been late ANYWHERE. We all cracked up.

Canceling... our Direct TV subscription (it recently went up to $90 a month!) and closing the boys' old bank accounts that are at the bank in our old hometown.  Josh has been working really hard to get stuff done this week and I'm so grateful.  He put together the Scrabble letters his sister Julie made me (of our kids' names) to make them easier to hang.  In addition to that and all the phone calls he has been taking care of, he went to the grocery store and came home with both flour and wipes!!! I literally screamed when I saw them.  It feels so good to be prepared for the next few weeks. 

Grateful... for school lunches for my kids.  Our district is providing daily lunches (and the next days' breakfast) for all four of our kids.  All we have to do is pick them up at Wyatt's school each morning.  They pass the bags through our car window, minimal contact, and it's the best.  We get milk, fresh fruit and all kinds of lunches- bagels, pizza, corn dogs & chicken nuggets. It's great.

Joining... my book club girls for a Zoom meeting this month instead of our regular get together, and being surprised at how much fun it was. I was nervous it would be awkward or lame.  But we laughed and connected and I was so grateful for those ladies when our time was up.

Starting... to notice my shorter fuse with the kids and making a goal for spring break next week:  SLEEP.  I am hoping to get more sleep over break- to go to bed earlier, to sleep in longer and to nap as needed so I can be more patient.  Towards the end of this week I was having a handful of migraines and napping daily, so I know I am not getting enough sleep.  It's not ideal.
It doesn't help that Carly is really struggling with the boys being home full time.  She is not used to having to share me and her toys 24/7.  It has required a little cracking down on Josh's and my part- more time outs and following through when she tantrums or doesn't listen, and a lot of talking-to's for brothers who need to leave her alone and not bug her on purpose.

Laughing... as Carly keeps pretending to be different animals.  She crawls in the grass outside; laps up water out of her cups like a kitten; and barks when she is supposed to answer me.  Silly girl.
Also laughing as every morning I find bowls full of "anchors" from the Marshmallow Matey's (fake brand Lucky Charms) and no marshmallows to be found. 

Watching... my last episodes of Teen Mom and Call The Midwife before we lose Direct TV; and Orange Is The New Black on Hulu with Josh.  I hated the pilot, but the following episodes improved. Otherwise I'm not really watching any TV, doing lots of reading instead.

Sending... Josh and the boys to ride four wheelers this week on Friday, which gave me a break with just Carly.  It was so nice.  It gave me a chance to get caught up around here and enjoy some quiet.  I painted my nails & Carly's, which made her so happy, and we enjoyed the day, just the two of us.

Spending... Saturday watching so much TV with the kids, mostly Lego Masters, and cracking up as Carly walked in the room and watched the beginning of one episode and said, "I wish I could go there! I would SMASH all the Legos!!!"  #classiclittlesister
After our day of TV binging and snuggles, we followed up with homemade pizza, cookies & a movie for movie night.  I'm telling you, it was exactly what we needed after the last few weeks of homeschooling and online learning. It's been a LOT.
After movie night, Jack got to stay up late for his special night. He went on a walk with Josh and Grady, then hung out with me, playing games on the couch.

Grateful... that our kids are the ages they are.  I think it would be so much harder to quarantine with older or younger kids.  So much more exhausting. Those with teenagers and those with toddlers have my total sympathy.  We are able to entertain our kids with games (like Battleship lately!), bike rides and Legos.

***

Things that made me laugh this week: