Showing posts with label Inspiration. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Inspiration. Show all posts

11.02.2019

Week 44 Around Here {2019}


























Celebrating... one year seizure free for Logan.  It's completely surreal to me that he hasn't had a seizure in twelve months after how many he had in 2018.  I remember thinking this day would never come.  I couldn't imagine him going a month without a seizure, let alone an entire year.  It took five medications to find the one that has worked for him long term, and the one he is on now took a leap of faith to put him on.  These are scary, serious medications.  Used for many different things with many different side effects.  We've been blessed and I don't take it for granted, these worry free days.  I know that at any point his body chemistry could change and throw us back into the ring, so for now, I just take it a day at a time, relishing the peace that comes with knowing they are currently controlled.  Grateful doesn't begin to describe it.

Grooving... in our morning routine.  It feels so good to finally feel like this is our new normal after weeks of scrambling every morning to get all three boys out the door.  I am absolutely loving that the twins leave a little before Wyatt and get home before him.  It's nice to have their departures and arrivals staggered.  It helps me to spread my attention amongst them.

Loving... our snuggly Saturday mornings, and just the weekends in general.  Friday nights Josh and I have date night after the kids go to bed (he makes pizza and we watch Game of Thrones- we are in Season Five); Saturday he generally takes the boys to the land to ride their four wheelers or hang with Grandma & Papa while I spend the day at home with Carly, and then Saturday night we have family movie night.  I make the kids' pizza and cookies and we watch a movie together.  This weekend we watched Jumanji: Welcome To The Jungle, which I have to say, I thoroughly enjoy.  We've watched it a few times, and I love it.  Then Sunday all the kids have to pitch in and help clean house- bathrooms and vacuuming are their big jobs, plus any homework and extra chores they've earned from misbehavior throughout the week.  I love starting the week with a clean house, and I think it is an important skill set to know how to clean a house and to know you are part of a team in this family. (Plus, it makes them extra grateful for all the things Josh and I do around here that they don't have to do. Bonus!)

Carving... pumpkins with the kids and cracking up as Jack continually gagged from the smell and refused to dip his hands into his jack-o-lantern to empty it.  The other kids didn't seem to mind, but Jack just can't handle it. I remember feeling the same way when I was little.  The smell and the feel in my hands made my stomach feel so queasy.  So I helped him out and we got the job done. 
Doing stuff like that, carving pumpkins and other holiday traditions, are sometimes hard to make time for, but once we are doing them, I am always glad we did them because the kids are so into it, and so grateful. 

Painting... the upstairs kids bathroom, which means I have just one room left to paint!  I did it Monday when Josh's mom had Carly for the day, and I am so happy to have it completed.  I meant to do it a few weeks ago, and then Wyatt got sick, so it got moved to the back burner.  That bathroom has been dismantled for weeks now, so it's really nice to have it all painted and put back together!

Giving... haircuts to all the boys in my life- the twins, and Wyatt, as well as Josh and Samuel.  I don't enjoy the process, but I do love how fresh everyone looks when it's done!

Suffering... four migraines this week.  It sucks so much to have these.  And this week, along with the migraines came a lot of emotions.  I'm not even sure from what, but I kept bursting into tears randomly.  Not cool.  Hopefully next week gives me some headache respite.

Trick or treating... with my mom who came to town for the day, much to the delight of my children! She is also the one who sprung for the boys' costumes (thank you, Nanny!) the week before Halloween (thank you, Amazon!) because it wasn't in the budget and their mom had yet to take them shopping.  (We made it to the pumpkin patch much earlier this year, but costumes slipped my mind.  I just can't win at everything!)
Before the kids got home from school Thursday my mom and I were able to enjoy lunch together,  just the two of us, and it was so nice.  I was also able to show her what we've done to the house thus far and finish all my sentences and thoughts. That never happens! Hah!
During trick or treating the twinss were great brothers, making sure Carly got the right amount of candy and used her manners, and everyone LOVED Wyatt's amazing Lego costume.  Every time he put it on, I would crack up. It was just so real. We all loved it!  I felt surprised and honored that Jack & Logan still wanted to trick or treat with us and it didn't escape me that it might have been the last time.

 Sharing... on social media that Jack stayed up past his bedtime to work on his homework Tuesday (end of term) and was surprised at how strong people felt about our 7:00pm bedtime.  (I mentioned he was up at 8:45pm doing homework, which was well past his normal bedtime.)  Just to clarify two things- I know I don't have to, but I would like to- 1) I do NOT judge people whose kids have later bedtimes, and 2) this bedtime WORKS for us.  I know that a 7:00pm bedtime wouldn't work for many families, and I totally get that.  We are super lucky that Josh is a teacher, which means while he is gone early in the morning, before 7am, he is almost always home before 5pm in the evenings.  So we are able to have dinner between 5 & 6 and get the kids in bed very early.  I also know that some kids internal clocks would not go to sleep that early, but our kids do.  They are EARLY risers who have to be told to "stay in bed!" until 6:30am. No matter how late they go to bed, they almost always wake up between 6 and 6:30am.  This early bedtime ensures they are getting the rest they need despite their early rising.  Mostly, though, what I got from this interesting discussion on Facebook was a sense of awe for mothers who somehow tolerate their children for two to three hours longer than I have to.  You have my total admiration.  I'm not worthy.

Taking... my Unread Shelf from 131 to 120 by reading some and unhauling others.  It feels good to be heading in the right direction finally!

Reading... 17 books in October, which blew.my.mind! I read 6 audio and 11 physical books, taking my Total Read for 2019 to 80 currently.  This week I was listening to The Dutch House by Ann Patchett, which is read by Tom Hanks(!), and Everything Happens for a Reason by Kate Bowler.  I also read The Pull of the Moon by Elizabeth Berg and started O Pioneers! by Willa Cather.  I'm hoping to read 10 books in November, but I'm off to a slow start and I'm not sure I'll make it. We will see.

Hearing... the quote by Doris Lessing,

"Whatever you're meant to do, 
do it now. 
The conditions are always impossible."  

And taking it like a punch to the gut.  There are so many things that I am always waiting to do, waiting to start.  Exercising, losing the weight I put back on since last year, writing a novel... When really, truly, there is no time like the present. Now let's see what I do with that information.

Bundling up... every time we go outside.  The cold weather has set in, and boy does it have a kick!  We found and sorted our box of hats & gloves this week, and I hung up all my scarves.  I had the boys try on their boots and coats to see what fits and I am wondering how much longer until our first snow.  Here we go, winter!!

Ridiculously... grateful for some taco seasoning my bestie dropped off when she Boo'd our house this week (dropped off candy & goodies for the kids).  I usually buy the little packets, which can be up to $.75 each, and after having this discussion with me, she bought me the huge container for less than $5 at Costco.  If that's not real love, I don't know what is.

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{just breathe}

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5.12.2019

Mama

This Mother's Day I am loving this post about motherhood
 that my friend Ashley tagged me in on Instagram 
that I think everyone should read.  
I've decided to share it here:


Mama, I see you ⁣
I see how you worry, Mama ⁣
I see how afraid you are of this big world ⁣
I know how you wonder, Mama⁣
Will she be safe, will he fit in⁣
I know how the fear can swirl ⁣

Mama, I see you⁣
how you feel alone ⁣
Isolated in your home ⁣
Or in your 9 to 5⁣
I see you working to the bone ⁣


Mama, I see you ⁣
Missing your baby ⁣
The one you couldn’t keep⁣
And oh, how you weep ⁣
I see you ⁣
Wrapped in the pain⁣
Tears falling like rain ⁣

Mama, I see you ⁣
The ache in your heart ⁣
the hurt and the scars ⁣
It tears you apart ⁣
no babes in your arms ⁣
The longing you feel ⁣
The waiting is real ⁣
Will it ever end? ⁣
I see you, my friend ⁣

I see you, Mama⁣
When you feel you’re too much ⁣
Or you’re never enough ⁣
When you try to find your tribe ⁣
And you only come up dry ⁣


Mama I see you ⁣
When you make a mistake ⁣
When you cause hurt and pain ⁣
When anxiety tells you it can’t be erased ⁣

I see you Mama⁣
in the yelling and rage ⁣
When you try to overcome ⁣
your own childhood shame ⁣
When you want to be good ⁣
But you feel like a fake ⁣
When you try to break the cycle ⁣
And you mess up again ⁣

Mama I see you ⁣
And you know what I see? ⁣
I see beauty and goodness ⁣
and someone like me ⁣
I see a valiant warrior ⁣
with a heart soft as mink ⁣

I see a woman showing up ⁣
who they cannot sink ⁣
I see your fire, your fury ⁣
Your refusal to shrink ⁣

And you are LOVED LOVED LOVED ⁣
And you shine and you shine ⁣
And Heaven looks down upon you ⁣
And says ⁣
“This girl is mine.”⁣

I love you, Mama. 

Wrote this for you

-Heather Schieder


5.03.2019

Week 17 Around Here {2019}















{Carly's first self portrait}




{My guy & his dad}
{Grandma Carol & Carly May}
{He's always playing with her hair. Melts my heart.}
{Uncle Samuel & his biggest fan}











Celebrating... Easter by having Josh's parents and brother over for dinner.  Josh did all the cooking and I baked a carrot cake from scratch with my grandma Beverly's recipe.  Everything was super yummy and the company was really lovely.  The kids loved their easter baskets (the boys all got pens and locking journals- for privacy!) and Carly got a stuffed kitty & a game called Spot It Jr., plus some candy.
They did an easter egg hunt in the backyard, which Carly has replayed every single day since (hiding her own eggs and "finding" them again) which is adorable, and tiresome. Ha!

Baseballin'... four times this week.  The twins had games Saturday, Monday & Wednesday and Wyatt had games Tuesday & Wednesday, so we all got in a lot of game watching, and Wednesday Josh and I had to "divide & conquer"- him taking the twins to their game (he's their coach) and me taking Wyatt and Carly to Wyatt's game.

Watching... Wyatt's sunflower plants grow.  Last year he had one GIANT sunflower that we left all year (through the winter) and it seeded and started to grow baby sunflowers this spring.  So now the garden patch is FULL of little green plants that started as sunflower seeds and are now sprouting up, with the poppped open sunflower shells still sitting atop the plants like little hats. So cute!

Rushing... to school early Tuesday morning when they called me because Logan had gone to the office complaining of an aura (the feeling he has preceding a seizure).  I got there with Carly & Wyatt to check on him, and found that he had maybe already had a seizure (based on his description of symptoms).  So we walked back to his classroom together and I took some notes from a fellow classmate who'd been sitting at the back table with him.
Sure enough, the way his friend described Logan during those few moments leads me to believe Logan did, indeed, have a breakthrough seizure. (After five months seizure free) He came home with me for the rest of the day so I could keep an eye on him, and I put a call in to his neurologist.  She had warned us that with hormones and growing, we could see some breakthrough seizures because he was on the low end of the therapeutic dose.
She suggested we put him on 1,000mg of the Depakote at night and keep on 500mg in the morning.  So that is what we are now doing and thus far, he hasn't had any more seizures. (fingers crossed)

Seeing... my counselor for the first time since mid-February.  I had thought I had more scheduled at the time, but I didn't and by the time I got around to scheduling more, there weren't any openings until now.  I did okay without the visits for a little while, but then it got hard not seeing him every couple weeks.
We talked this week about my inability to see my worth and how I am allowed to have needs.  I think sometimes as a wife and mother, I believe I should be able to pour from an empty bucket.  Turns out, I can't.  Or at least not very well.  I have also noticed that I'm really hard on myself.  When I make a mistake, I say to myself in my mind (and sometimes even out loud) "Mom fail!" So my work this week is to let myself have needs, to allow myself to be human (no more labeling accidents as "mom fails") and to ask for help if and when I need it.

Forgetting... snacks for Wyatt's team on Wednesday, which was a huge test for me, as I had just recently seen my counselor and discussed my recent bout with perfectionism and how whenever I make a mistake I am super hard on myself.  So I took a deep  breath, apologized to the other moms and told them it had been a tough week, and accepted their kind words of understanding.  They assured me a sugary, after game snack was NOT a big deal and that no one was upset.
Normally I would have beat myself up the entire way home, maybe even the whole week about it, but I was determined to accept their easy forgiveness and offer myself grace, so I quickly moved on, telling myself I am "human" and that means making errors. #onesmallstep

Facing... an aggressive dad at the park when our boys all got in a scuffle with each other, as ten and twelve year old boys are wont to do, and he came over looking for us.  When Josh didn't discipline our boys passionately enough to his liking, he wanted to step in for him and things got tense, but Josh quietly stood his ground and the man eventually walked away.  But the whole rest of the evening he kept posturing, trying to get between me and my kids, staring us down... it was incredibly uncomfortable.  But in the end, it was a good lesson for my boys- to not fight with others at the playground; to run for help if others are fighting with you; and that as an adult, that father should have known better than trying to solve problems with yelling, swearing, and posturing.

Attending... a positive parent-teacher conference for Logan that made Josh and I so proud of him.  He has done a complete turn around during this third quarter, getting his name on the Self Manager list; moving himself when his fellow students distract him; and improving all his grades.  It was so great to watch him as his teacher listed off all the ways in which he has progressed.  He was positively beaming.

Reading... Rising Strong, Miracle Creek & The Midwife of Hope River.  I am so excited because The Midwife of Hope River is the first in a series of three, and I love it.  I am listening to it, and it has me doing all.the.chores so I can listen a little more. ;)

Watching... Season Seven of Call The Midwife on Netflix.  Gosh I love that show so much!  (Thanks for telling me the new season was on, mom!)

Losing... my flipping mind with all the bottle flipping Wyatt does. Lord help me.  The constant CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK is mind numbing. Ahhh!

Getting... a spacer put in for Logan & Jack at the orthodontist this week, and adjusting it nightly, to slowly spread out their upper jaw, spreading their teeth (and whole smile really) bit by bit.  It has taken some getting used to in terms of talking and eating, but they have handled it really well.  We also had to get Logan's wire replaced for the second and third time.  The third time was because he lost a tooth that had a bracket on it, and that caused the wire to become loose & start poking him in the back of the mouth at bedtime.  So Josh had to cut it out.  Thank goodness the hygienists at the orthodontists office are so dang patient with him!

Loving... the drive to Josh's parents land.  It's in the country and I always feel so relaxed on the drive out.

Inspired... by so many of the Instagram accounts I follow- Meredith Toering, Morgan Harper Nichols, Tiffany Gray, Laura Bentley, Laura Kelley, and Sherry Duerre.

Laughing... as Carly begged me to "go super fast like Blaze" on the way home from Grandma & Papa's land, and when I told her I couldn't, that if I did the police would get me she responded vehemently, "No they won't! You're a mom!"
Hah! I want to get that in writing!

Thankful... for friends who see me clearly, and love me dearly. I am so blessed by them.  They buoy me up, assure me I am not alone in this crazy adventure we call "motherhood", and encourage me to carry on when life gets hard.  Particularly my book club girls- meeting with them every month brings me such joy.

For a laugh:

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