Around Here: Week 33 {2018}

Reading... In Shock by Rana Awdish.  It's about a doctor who herself had a traumatic first birth and recovery (to say the least) and it changed how she viewed her patients from there forward.  It's a fascinating read.  I'm almost done.  I started The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand, which my mom gave me (a signed copy!!!) when I was there, and I can't wait to finish In Shock so I can dive fully into that one. I am also listening to No One Cares About Crazy People on audio.

Buying... a lovely stack of books from Powell's while we were in Portland.  My parents kept the kids so Josh could take me and we perused the shelves. I was so happy to get my hands on the first two books in the "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" series, and I have the third one on order.  I also got The Witches of New York by Ami Mckay simply because I love her book The Birth House so much.  And then I got These Granite Islands based on a recommendation from goodreads and Perfect Match by Jodi Picolt because it sounded so intriguing.

Celebrating... 14 days seizure free for Logan.  He hasn't gone two weeks without a seizure since early spring.  It was a lovely respite for my mama heart.

Enjoying... girls night with my friend Shana when she came over Thursday after my kids were in bed.  I love that girl and she just gets my heart.  She has all girls, a singleton, then twins, so we're like living opposite lives. It's so funny!  We ate cheesecake and stayed up way too late. My neighbor even texted me and asked if everything was okay cause the lights were on so late at night. Haha!

Suffering... with all the wildfire smoke.  Our air quality has been terrible here in Washington State and we've been having to keep Wyatt inside to keep his poor lungs healthy.  At first I was still letting him play outside a little bit, but his peak flow numbers were dropping like crazy even in the limited amount of time I was allowing, so we kept him in for two entire days and saw a huge improvement, so he's got to stay in until the air clears.  Sorry, buddy!

Growing... our garden like crazy!  We've got lots of cucumber and tomatoes!  The peppers seem to have died, and we harvested the corn, so they are done, and we're waiting for the sunflower to bloom and for the pumpkins to get going, but the cucs and tomatoes are going gangbusters!  And our sweet watermelons, too!  So cute!!!

Doing... load after load of laundry, grocery shopping, bill paying, phone-call making, mess-organizing and even washing and vacuuming my car.  I don't know what got into me, but I went with it and did all.the.chores this week.  It felt so nice!

Crying... for no reason at all Tuesday night at bedtime. I don't know if I was overtired or just emotional, or what, but it was ridiculous. Luckily my husband is used to my sensitivity and just hugged me while I wept. As we talked a little I realized that I had been kind of holding my breath about something going wrong with Logan or Wyatt because it has been so long since either of them has been sick.  Honestly, I was just so grateful to have had the break.  And the good, hard cry did help me sleep really good that night!

Loving... all the baseball that's been happening around here.  Josh took Logan to get a bigger left handed mitt since he outgrew his old one, and it's reignited a love for the game in all three boys.  They are out there everyday with Josh throwing and catching and pitching and hitting and it makes me smile so big.  They love it.  They all come back in telling me stories of amazing hits and awesome catches. It's so cute. One afternoon Josh wasn't here and I caught Wyatt sitting on the porch with his ball and glove, just wishing daddy was home to play ball. So sweet!

Opening... fun mail from my blog-friend Ashley! I won her giveaway from her "Five Favorites" post and it was such a sweet package to open.  There was a new-to-me book, adorable cup, reusable straws, fancy napkins and yummy strawberry-lemonade goat soap included.  And bless her heart (!) she also included Box Tops for my kids' school since she homeschools. She is officially my boys' favorite person now. hah!

Repeating... "This Moment" to myself over and over as a way of staying in the NOW.  Truly, we really only have "this moment" and that's it.  Reminding myself of that throughout the day is helping me say "yes" to my kids (Yes to putting coins in the fun machine at the library; Yes to trying a new park; Yes to playing a game); "yes" to myself (Yes to pulling over and taking a picture of the sunset; Yes to a bubblebath; Yes to taking extra time to sing lullabies to Carly at bedtime); and "yes" to experiences (Yes to trying snorkeling at the river with my kids; Yes to the big slide at the pool before summer ends; Yes to trying new foods).  It also helps me not feel overwhelmed/scared about the future.  "This moment" is the only one I have to survive.  That's pretty manageable.

Witnessing... yet another of Logan's seizures as he broke his seizure-free streak Friday morning.  Jack came into my room just after 8:00am to tell me Logan was having a seizure in their room.  I followed Jack into their room and found Logan kneeling on the floor, having a seizure.  I helped him sit on the edge of the bed and he continued seizing for another five minutes.  It was his longest seizure to date, and was absolutely terrifying to witness.  Not because of his body- his body was actually quite still- but because of how vacant he was from his body.  During the seizure he just continually looked to the right, nodded his head up and down, looked as if he were chewing something and was breathing heavily, almost panting.  Over and over, the cycle continued.  I kept asking if it was done, if he could answer me, and he couldn't.  Finally, at just shy of the six minute mark, it stopped and he rubbed his head and laid back, closing his eyes, talking some gibberish and sighing.
There is no need to call 911 or take him to the doctor unless his seizure is longer than 15 minutes.  So we just kept an eye on him here at the house.  He tried to take a nap, but soon he got an intolerable headache.  It got so bad, in fact, that he vomited.  I felt so bad for him.
Of course now my concern is what to do about school.  A six minute seizure is serious. It's scary.  I don't know if he needs an aid with him full time, I don't know if we should inform all the fifth graders that he has epilepsy and what the symptoms look like so that if he's having one they can inform an adult (an idea that he HATES and says he will never agree to)... So far, he has always had an aura and been able to tell someone when he has a seizure coming on. But his embarrassment has kept him (in the past) from telling anyone at school that a seizure is coming. He has just sat at his desk and waited for it to pass.  That was fine when his seizures lasted thirty seconds.  That's not fine when they are nearing the ten minute mark.  He HAS to tell someone, and I'm just not sure I can trust that he will.  He's ten.  His pride and embarrassment factor are pretty high currently.
I will be talking to the nurse (who's amazing) Monday afternoon.  I am sure she will have some advice. In the meantime, Logan and I are talking over different ideas and I am praying for clarity on what the right thing is.  The best part is that he has his neurology appointment the first week of September. So we just have to get something temporary set up at school for the first week, then we can pick the neurologists' brain about any further questions we have.

Catching... up with my sister when she came to visit with her crew Friday afternoon.  We've both been stuck inside with our kiddos most of the week due to poor air quality from the wildfires, so we were more than happy to throw them together for a few hours and have the chance to hang out.  The kids were overjoyed to be together, playing Legos and watching movies, and Roxanne and I never run out of things to talk about.  We went through all of Carly's clothes, which was super fun, and sorted through the size 3 stuff that has been handed down to her (thanks Raeann, JoAnne & Jolene!) in preparation for fall.  It helped get me excited for fall the same way shopping for books did. (Cold weather doesn't have to be sad... Imagine Carly in a sweater dress, and me on the couch with a good book!)

Feeling... proud of my boys.  When one brother expressed feeling upset about the thought of going to sleep alone while the other two stayed up for "special night" with mom, the two who were going to stay up asked if the other brother could join them so they could all be together and he wouldn't have to go to bed in their room alone.  When I said yes, they all gave each other (and me) a giant family hug and tears stung my eyes. Sometimes, it feels really nice to know you must be doing something right.

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