around here: week 30 2020

{July 19-25}

Carly & cousin Liesel

Jack, cousin Gustav & Logan

Cousin Gisele & Wyatt

Grandma & Papa's land

Falling... directly off the workout wagon after a week of doing fantastic.  I vacillated between forcing myself to get back on, and being kind to myself during this crazy, stressful time, and I decided I need kindness right now.  

Googling... medical things after months of keeping away from it. My health anxiety always acts up when life gets stressful, and contemplating the next school year is feeling real heavy currently.  

Frustrated... with Logan as he lost his retainer after only a few days of having it. Sigh. 

Now he's on "dishes duty" until he earns the money it cost us to replace it. 

Creating... daily lists for the kids to complete in order to earn their afternoon screen time.  We also cut morning screen time this week in an effort to get them moving and playing more and doing less screens as we head towards the school year.  So far it's going really well.  

They have to do things like eat, get dressed & brush. Plus make their beds, tidy their rooms, and do their daily chores. (Daily chores here alternate between all three brothers and include unloading the dishwasher, doing the catbox and scooping the dog poop in the yard.) They also have to do Xtra Math, a half hour of reading and outside time. 

I laminated the lists so the kids can check them off as they go, and then we go over them together before they do screens.  It's not perfect, but I do find that more of their list is done than when we didn't have the lists printed off.  Highly recommend!

Trying... on masks as Josh's order came in for the school year.  Sometimes I still can't believe this is our reality.

Grateful... for a supportive sister who understands what anxiety is and reminds me to take things step by step when my panic overwhelms me.  

Enjoying... a Milo/Wyatt playdate at our house this week.  My sister lives about an hour and a half away, so we meet in the middle to trade kids every so often, and it's such a nice way to change up the dynamic in our houses.

Wyatt also got to enjoy a playdate with his cousin Alvin this week.  They played games and ate lunch together on Aunt Julie's day off and Wyatt loved it.  He really does have middle child syndrome, constantly needing just a little more attention than I can give him. So having others around to love on him helps so much!

Swimming... in the hot, hot weather and inviting the boys' cousin Alvin to join us.  Everyday I want to text my mom and tell her and my dad thanks for the pool.  It's seriously what is getting us through these summer afternoons!!!

Rejoicing... as Josh moved our dinner plate hibiscus from our first house to this house after our old neighbor called to let us know the new owner was going to remove it.  I told Josh it felt like bringing one of our kids home.  He laughed and said he feels like the pressure is now on to make sure it doesn't die. hah!

Sending... the kids to Grandma's camp with their cousins on Friday & Saturday. They tie dyed shirts; had water balloon fights; made art; and even busted open a piñata. Josh's mom is such a fun grandma!

Hosting... the family for tons of swims and meals as Josh's sister was in town with her family, and the rest of his family joined us off & on as well.  We were happy to have everyone over after months of no one enjoying our house except us, and felt especially thankful for the pool, which is truly the gift that keeps on giving. 

Talking... to Josh's sister Andrea (there are seven kids in his family- he is #5, and Andrea is just older than him at #4) who was here visiting with her husband and three kids for Grandma's camp.  We used to live next door to each other in duplexes in Vancouver 10+ years ago, and since then, we have grown apart and I was never sure why.  Over this weekend, things reached a head, and Andrea was very brave and vulnerable in meeting with us to let us know why it felt like there was a wall between our families, and I am so, so grateful.  

She let me know that when Gustav (her oldest, who is six months older than the twins) was a baby, he had a loud toy, which she and her husband, both of whom are Deaf, couldn't hear, and I took the toy and traded him for a quiet toy.  At the time, I didn't think of this as a slight to them as Deaf parents, but now, after talking with Andrea & Taylor about the incident, I can absolutely see that I should have discussed it with them, not just acted.  I apologized and told them that I may continue to make mistakes in regards to their being Deaf since I am hearing, but that I promise to be open to anything they may have to talk to me about or want to teach me, and that I will try. I will try and try and try because a relationship, especially for our seven collective kids, is worth it.  

Andrea also talked to me about having a relationship with Josh because in the past I told her it was hard for me to see her and Josh be so close without being jealous.  Out of respect for our marriage, she backed off.  But she would like to try again.  I like to think that I have matured some since then, and told her that I don't want to come between her and her brother any longer. She gave me so much grace for my former clumsiness, not holding the past against me, but kindly agreeing that we can all choose to move forward from here. 

Thanks to her honesty, we were able to move past some old mistakes I made and let our kids be cousins and best friends, and it's the most beautiful thing I've honestly ever seen.

Realizing... how much I have missed using sign language.  Josh and I met our junior year in high school in ASL (American Sign Language) class, where he was the teacher's aid and I was attempting to get fluent in sign.  From there, we continued dating, volunteering at the deaf school, spending time with his sister, and eventually living next door to her and her (then) boyfriend. I loved using sign then. It's so beautiful and amazes me when I really stop and think about it. 

Their visit this week piqued our kids' interest in it, as they hate when we're all "talking" (signing) and they don't know what we're saying. So I have promised them that if we end up distance learning/homeschooling next year, I will start teaching them sign. Silver lining, as it were.

Loving... seeing our kids together and bonding, especially Liesel and Carly, who are only a year apart.  They never fought, were so kind and patient with each other, and love each other so much that Carly even cried every time that Liesel had to leave to go back to their RV for the night.   

I also really enjoyed getting to know Andrea's kids myself, seeing their tender hearts, their funny senses of humor (is there anything better than cousins laughing together???) and watching as they got to know my kids as well.  It was a weekend I'll forever cherish.

Remembering... as I face an unknown school year that hope is always worth it. 

"You do not need to know precisely what is happening, or exactly where it is all going. 

What you need to recognize is the possibilities and challenges offered by the present moment, 

and to embrace them with courage, faith & hope."

-Thomas Merton

We got this, mamas. 

Roxanne sent me this.
It could not be more true. 

***

Around Here: Week 49 {2018}

{2017}

{2018}

{My sister's cat Penny}

{2017}

{juggling coins}

Celebrating... Wyatt getting a cold.  Yes, you read that right! We are celebrating him getting a cold, and not needing oral steroids for the first time since he was hospitalized a year ago!  This is a huge breakthrough for us.  We managed with just nebulizer treatments and inhaled steroids, which is a big goal achieved.

Starting... a new med this week for Logan for his seizures.  So he is on three seizure meds currently: Tegretol, Vimpat and Depakote.  Depakote is the new one, and is quite scary, but I am placing all my trust in his neurologist and praying that it's the right choice.  I have been quite emotional about it and starting him up on it has felt really scary.

Reading... Winter Garden by Kristin Hannah, which is super good and fun to read because it takes place in Washington state, which is where I live!

Visiting... the neurologist with Logan and stopping one of the three meds he was on.  It felt good to get him down to two meds.  It also felt good to discuss Logan's seizures with the doctor.  She said based on his seizure symptoms, it appears he is having both generalized and focal seizures again, not just focal, which is why the Tegretol by itself wasn't working any longer.  She said she has had high success with Depakote, especially with young boys, and that she feels confident it will work with Logan.  That made me feel better about trying it.

Trying... to stay hopeful after getting pretty hopeless (about controlling Logan's seizures) for a while there.  On the drive to see the neurologist in Spokane (it's an hour and a half drive each way), I listened to an Oprah podcast with Anne Lamott and she talked about hope. She said we need to live in the hope, and that to hope is to be a child again.  She said hope is the prayer of surrender and she encourages us to be vulnerable in hope because vulnerability is courageous.  Her words really resonated with me, and I found myself wanting to hope again, even if my hopes get shot down.

Seeing... my counselor this week and talking about replacing habits.  I used to have the habit of emotional eating.  Then I replaced that habit (unknowingly) with book buying. So instead of emotional eating, I did emotional book buying.  Now I want to replace that habit with a different habit.  So we are working on figuring out what I can replace that habit with that won't be so hard on my pocket book. ;)

Picking... Logan up at school early one day this week when he fell at recess and hit his mouth after crashing with a girl.  He hit his mouth and his tooth stuck into his lip (almost coming all the way through), knocking his tooth loose.  We took a trip to the emergency dentist, who confirmed his top (grown up) side tooth was loose and needs to be babied for the next 2-4 weeks with soft foods and gentle care.  His lip was WAY worse the next day, so he stayed home that day, too.

Grateful... that one year has passed since Wyatt's hospitalization in the PICU in Spokane.  We are all so thankful he came out of that, and for all that we have learned since those dark, scary days.

Cleaning... up the biggest water/bubble mess I have ever cleaned up in the bathroom.  Carly was playing in the sink while Josh and I made dinner one night, and we knew she was in there, but it wasn't a big deal.  She often plays in the sink with her pups.  Then Josh went to check on her, and what had started as a little water and some Paw Patrol toys had morphed into a LOT OF WATER and EVEN MORE BUBBLES in very little time.  She was covered in bubbles, the floor was covered in water, and everything was slick and dangerous.  It was a disaster!!!  That girl is lucky she's cute, let me tell you!

Keeping... up with Dashy, our Christmas Elf, and his daily shenanigans.  He is sure a busy little guy, but we all love the magic of the belief in our house (and are so pleased by it) that it's absolutely worth the effort.  There's a schedule that was set at the beginning of the season that I follow and a timer on my phone and that makes the whole thing a LOT more manageable.
Although, Logan accidentally found my stash of "Elf" things (gingerbread houses for the kids to do, etc.) and I'm still not sure how I'm going to handle that.  Do I pretend to be his personal shopper? Do I just have him give a few additional things to add to what I already bought? Gah! Having kids is hard!

Getting... no sleep all week.  With Wyatt doing nebulizer treatments, we haven't had to put him on oral steroids (which is fantastic!) but we have had to do a lot of middle of the night nebs.  So I am plain WORN OUT.

Skipping... workouts all week because of the lack of sleep.  I was so tired, I chose not to work out, but I wish I had.  Not working out just added to my feeling like crap.  I ended the week committed to working out next week regardless of my sleep status.  Hopefully it will help me have more energy in the end!

Feeling... kind of low emotionally.  I'm not sure if it's from worrying over Wyatt's lungs with his cold, Logan's seizures & new meds, or something else entirely, but I struggled this week.  I think hitting the one-year mark since Wyatt's hospitalization was also hard on my heart.  I feel so lucky that he is okay, and so sad for other moms whose stories didn't end so happily.

Visiting... my sister and her crew for a cousin playdate over the weekend.  The kids always love getting together and I love the time with my sister.  It was really fun to see my niece- she's getting so big.  She signs and is saying some words, and is just so much fun!
I was scrolling through the blog earlier this week and came across a photo of Carly holding Romy last year and it is just amazing how much she has grown in a year!

Laughing... at Carly when I walked in my bedroom early this week to find her, naked (well, wearing a diaper) juggling coins from Josh's coin jar.  She told me she knew how from a show she had watched and that it was "amazing."

Making... homemade corn bread muffins to go with our crockpot chili this week.  It's from my Betty Crocker recipe book and I love it so much.  So does my family.  It's a delicious recipe so I thought I'd share it with you:

1 cup milk
1/4 cup butter melted
1 large egg
1 1/4 cups yellow cornmeal
1 cup all purpose flour
1 tablespoon baking powder
1/2 teaspoon salt

Preheat oven to 400 degrees
Spray muffin tin with Pam
Bake 10-15 minutes, taking out when golden brown

Loving... that the twins have matching coats & hats.  It's so ridiculous that this brings me joy, but it does.  Luckily, they don't seem to mind.  It wasn't on purpose, and their coats aren't identical, but it's enough that it gives me a little jolt of happiness when I see them together. (I am such a nerd. Hehe!)  Then I bought them new, matching Seahawks hats that I saw at Walmart, which they LOVE, and so now they match head to toe when they leave for school and it just makes me nostalgic for the old days when they matched all the time. sigh. 

Case in point. (see photo above)
Sometimes I look at a picture like this and
a) can't believe there were two of them, and b) can't believe how much Carly looks like them.
Oh gosh, they were cute.
I hope I knew how cute they were and relished in it.
I hope I kissed their cheeks enough.
In case I didn't, I'll kiss Carly's a couple extra times tomorrow for good measure. ;)

***

Our Elf on the Shelf Shenanigans This Week:

Making Count Down Chains

Listening to music on the twins' ipod shuffle

Playing with Carly's Alphabet toy

Hanging Snowflakes from the ceiling

Left the kids stuff to make cocoa

Wrote "Merry Christmas!" on the bathroom mirror

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