2019 Book Buying Ban

At the end of 2018 I realized I had amassed a collection of unread books that took up nearly an entire bookshelf.  My book buying had gotten a bit out of hand.  Looking back, I can see that while I was able to give up emotional eating (great! I lost 35 pounds in doing so!) I had simply replaced it with emotional book buying (perhaps an improvement, but still not perfect).

My goal for 2019 was to give up both emotional eating and emotional book buying, replacing them with healthier and cheaper behaviors like exercising, organizing, cleaning and journaling.  And so my Book Buying Ban was born.

I have survived Month One of my Book Buying Ban, and I will be honest, the first three weeks were super easy.  It wasn't until the last week of January that I really started to want to buy books.  Lucky for me, there is one exception to my rule, and that is Book of the Month club.  I am still allowed to order my books each month there.  And those are ready to order the last day of the month.

There is a limited supply to choose from, and you can only choose up to three books, so I can't go crazy.  Plus the prices are really good.  The great thing, too, is that a lot of books that Book of the Month has are on my "Want To Read" list, so I'm only buying books that I already want to read.

My emotional book buying really got out of control this year when Logan's seizures continued to go uncontrolled despite multiple medication changes, and Wyatt's asthma refused to be tamed no matter what we tried.  Every time Logan would have a seizure or Wyatt would suffer asthma, I would find myself craving comfort or happiness, and buying books was a really easy way to get that comfort.

So at the start of this year, I counted up all my books, and I had 101 unread books.  (It started at 100, but then I wanted to read one of the kids' books, The One and Only Ivan, so my number got bumped up to 101.)  I set a goal of reading 52 books, one per week, for the year,  in hopes of cutting my unread books in half.  Fingers crossed, I can stick to that goal and I will end the year with far less unread books in my living room!

Honestly, facing the year knowing I can't buy anymore books is kind of freeing.  I am so excited to finally read these books that have been on my shelf for so long.  In January alone I read four that were on it: How to Walk Away; Where The Crawdads Sing; Girl, Wash Your Face and As Bright As Heaven.  Each one was so good!

In February I am planning to read: All The Ugly and Wonderful Things; The One And Only Ivan; Reading People; Maid; The Poisonwood Bible; and Fahrenheit 451.

What is on your Unread Shelf? How does not buying books make you feel? What is one book you wish you could buy today? (Mine would be The Dreamers or The Water Cure. They both look SO good!)  I'll be honest, I was a little tempted to call my Book Buying Ban quits after one month... but Josh said he didn't think I could make it one year.  And I am not one to back down from a challenge.  So it's GAME ON, BABY!!!

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Week 5 Around Here {2019}

{photo credit: Wyatt Cunningham}

Sleeping in... on Sunday after waking up nine times in six hours on Saturday night. It was a terrible night of sleep (if you can call it that), taking Carly potty twice, comforting her with bad dreams, getting Wyatt to take his medicine three times and getting Jack some medicine for his cough and cold.  Josh took care of the kids while I got some much needed rest and I slept until 11:00! (Thanks, babe!)

Seeing... Green Book at the theater with a friend Saturday night while Josh did movie night with the kids.  The movie was good and the snacks were awesome.  Ha!  It was so lovely to get out of the house after a week at home taking care of Wyatt.

Waving... goodbye to Josh and Wyatt early Sunday morning as they took off for Vancouver with Josh's dad. 

Cleaning... house like a madwoman with the twins and Carly Sunday morning.  It was in desperate need and looked SO good afterward!

Hosting... a special movie night Sunday for the twins after all their help cleaning house.  It ended up being the perfect way to start the week, nice and mellow.  And boy did we earn that break- the house had been in shambles, and we whipped it into shape!!!

Watching... Wyatt improve slowly, and feeling SO grateful after ten nights of him not being himself.  I am not kidding when I say that it was like he was Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde during that first week and a half.  At night he would suddenly become argumentative and would wail when I would make him take his meds.  It was unbelievable.

Getting... groceries on Tuesday with three kids in tow but having fun regardless.  I love that we can have fun no matter what we're doing.

Nursing... sick kids who had coughs & runny noses on and off all week.  We are going through Kleenex like it's going out of style!

Cutting... my hair again.  I am trying to keep up with every-six-weeks hair cuts so that as it grows out, I am keeping the hair I do have shorter, so that it can all catch up sooner and be the same length.  My hope is that by summer I might have a decent head of hair! After using my Monat hair mask, I really noticed a difference in how my hair felt, so I am going to make sure that I do it every week.

Sharing... the books I didn't love in 2018 on my social media accounts.  I had planned to LOVE all six of these books, and was really disappointed in at least three of them. 
I'll Be Your Blue Sky, Four Seasons In Rome & Every Note Played were three that really let me down after all the hype, and the other three (Ghosted, A Spark of Light and Marilla of Green Gables) just weren't as good as I think they could have been.  I truly am curious, what book (or books) have you read that let you down recently?

Hanging... with my girl Shana and talking about all things children & character and contemplating the ways I am building character in my kids.  I used to think it was my job to protect them from the world.  Now I think it's my job to hold their hand as the world beats them up a bit and consider it character-building for them.  A bit brutal... but also true, and very vital.  Man this motherhood job is no joke.

Sending... Carly off to Grandma's on Thursday and spending the day with just Wyatt.  It was a much needed break from our exhausting, nonstop threenager (the truth of that... sigh!) and was nice for Wyatt and I to have the day to ourselves before he headed back to school post surgery.

Catching... the blog up on Weeks 4 & 5, which feels great, and gathering all kinds of inspiration for new types of blog posts from my girls Tabitha & Ashley.  I think I want to have a day each week where I focus on what's making me happy/gratitude and maybe a monthly post on what I'm reading, which I failed halfway through last year.  I am definitely spinning some ideas around in my head and am trying to figure out what would work, because I want to spend more time in this little space.

Witnessing... Logan pulling another baby tooth out this week.  This one was wicked bloody and seemed so painful! I think he just wanted the money for the "business" he and his friend are running (buying & selling snacks before & after school) so he was determined to get that sucker out of there. 
The tooth fairy, bless her soul, remembered to stop by (#miracle) despite her busy schedule and total exhaustion this week, and I was really proud of her. Logan got his $2 and she got a very bloody baby tooth. Win/win.  ;)

Celebrating... all three boys going back to school on Friday after having Wyatt home two entire weeks following his surgery, and Jack home sick as well.  Carly and I celebrated by running a thousand errands this morning (hah! #momlife) and then emptying the office so Josh can pull the carpet out this weekend. (Hooray! New hard wood floors!)

Loving... texts from my grandma.  She doesn't have internet (and therefore no email or Facebook) but being able to send her pictures via her cell phone and getting text replies (and even sometimes photo replies) is my favorite.  Just another way we can stay connected despite the distance.

Reading... All The Ugly And Wonderful Things, which was Book of the Month's Book of the Year in 2016.  It has not disappointed, and I haven't been able to put it down!  I am also working through Orange is the New Black on audio, and today I also started All You Can Ever Know on audio. I love all the reading I got in during January and am hoping to keep up the pace in February.

Saying... goodbye to our old neighbors, which was so, so sad!  The twins were best friends with their oldest boy, and our families just really clicked.  We knew when our kids were at each other's houses they were in good hands and I loved the mom so much!  But a sad goodbye also meant a new hello to fresh neighbors.  So today Carly and I took a plate of cookies over along with a warm welcome to the neighborhood. 

Laughing... at how Carly says, "Sure" instead of "Yes" now.  Any question you ask she says, "Sure" instead of "yes." It's kind of unnerving because generally "sure" means "I guess", so when I ask, "Did you go potty?" and she says, "Sure," it leaves me wondering if she really did. 
I am also laughing at her new, shortened version of Wyatt's name.  We have always loved how she says Wyatt, in her little Minnie Mouse voice, but for some reason this week, she has started calling him "Wy" and it's just too cute!

Surviving... Month One of my "Book Buying Ban".  I placed myself on a book buying ban for 2019 because my "To Read" shelf was growing out of control.  At last count I had 100 unread books and I really want to read them, so I am taking this year off from book buying with one exception- Book of the Month.  They allow me to buy up to 3 books a month, but it's a limited selection, and I don't always buy three.  I hope to read through at least half of my unread books this year!

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Week 4 Around Here {2019}

Taking... care of Wyatt as he recovered, ever so slowly, from his tonsil and adenoid removal surgery.  He has been in horrible pain, especially at night, all week.  He wails from the pain in the night, refusing the swallow the pills (he prefers pills to the liquid, which burns, during the day) and is constantly tantruming between the hours of midnight and 6am.  He has woken up the whole house most nights.  I guess this can be common.  But it is killing me softly.

Enduring... a flood in our brand new bathroom after a pipe burst in the wall behind the shower on Saturday. Poor Josh had to work so hard to rip everything out, dry it and replace it.  He's been a real saint, fixing it, bit by bit, so we can have a bath again for Carly to bathe in.  (She doesn't like showers.)  Luckily the only other damage was to the carpet in the hallway, which we were planning to rip out and replace with new flooring anyway. Phew!

Surviving... a super strange allergic reaction to my taco bowl from a local mexican food restaurant on Saturday night.  I ate the entire bowl (delicious!) and then noticed my lips were swelling up and had hives on the inside.  Thankfully my mom (who has experience with food allergies) was here and knew what to do.  I took some benadryl and watched the clock.  It didn't escalate from there, and I was fine within an hour.  But boy it was scary!  (And I won't be having a taco bowl again any time soon!)

Sending... my mom off to my sister's house on Monday after enjoying her help all weekend.  She was there when Wyatt went into surgery Friday and then spent the whole weekend entertaining the twins and playing with Carly and helping out around the house. I was so grateful she was there, as were the kiddos.  I am so thankful that she came so willingly and helped so much.  What a blessing. 

After... she left Josh took the twins and their friend Cristian riding on their four wheelers on his parents land. Such a fun dad!

Reading... Where The Crawdads Sing and Girl, Wash Your Face.  I am also listening to Orange is the New Black on audio.  Where The Crawdads Sing was so good and I couldn't wait to get to the end to figure out the mystery. When I got there, I was blown away. So good!  I finished Girl, Wash Your Face as well, and loved it.  I am going to spend the next few days journaling about all the things I underlined in it.  (Like "It's all in your hands now.  Everything that happens from here on out is entirely up to you." So inspiring!)

Starting... All The Ugly and Wonderful Things, and reading over 100 pages the first day.  I could not put it down.  It is dark and disturbing and amazing.  No wonder it has so much buzz around it.

Loving... how Carly is obsessed lately with Llama Llama.  We read one of his books every night.  She also loves Skippyjon Jones.

Accepting... flowers from Josh after many sleepless nights with Wyatt.  All week I had alarms set for every three hours to wake him and give him Tylenol and Ibuprofen alternating to stay on top of the pain.  It was like having newborn babies again!  But this time, I'm ten years older! (And let me tell you, I am feeling those ten years!)  Also this week, Carly's potty training has her waking up when she needs to pee.  Instead of peeing in her diaper, she wakes up and yells, "Mo-om! I have to go PEE!" So I have to climb out of bed, get her up, take her potty, and then get her tucked back in... So I have been more exhausted this week than I've been in years!  So much so that I have been drinking coffee again this week, and I haven't had coffee in over a year!

Meeting... my book club girls to discuss this month's book (my pick!) which was How To Walk Away.  I have heard it compared to Me Before You, but I didn't find it similar at all.  I loved it, just like I loved Me Before You, but it was a story all it's own, despite the fact that one of the characters face similar circumstances.  Her ups and downs were so believable and realistic, and there were many quotable quotes I underlined:

"Because that's all we can do: 

carry the sorrow when we have to, 

and absolutely savor the joy when we can.  

Life is always, always both."

Blessed... all week by the village around us.  People brought us meals and gift cards for meals and toys and balloons for Wyatt... I mean, it was amazing.  People ran errands for us, and called to check on us constantly.  Despite my complete exhaustion, we got through this week unscathed because there were all these amazing friends looking out for us.  Thank you to each and every one of you. 

Thank you also to each of you who prayed for us.  We felt those prayers on the day of surgery, and all throughout the week.  

Celebrating... our last little Babyham's birthday on Thursday.  Carly is now officially three.  (Although, any time anyone asked, she said she was turning fifteen. Haha!)  For her birthday, Wyatt wrapped all her presents (he asked if he could, and I happily said yes!) and the three of us made cupcakes, which we frosted pink & purple. 
Wyatt also lit her candles and we all sang Happy Birthday.  She blew her candles out about two thirds of the way through the song. I think she couldn't stand the anticipation anymore.  She was SO excited the entire day.  Every time someone said, "Happy Birthday!" to her, she said, "Happy Birthday" back to them. She is so full of life and love, I walk around in awe of her, trying to be more like her.  I want to wake up that excited to face everyday.

Walking... down memory lane as we said goodbye to the last of my baby & toddler days with children.  I have loved every minute of raising Carly (and her brothers before her).  She brings so much joy into our days.  (I'm including a taste of what I've been doing to myself... enjoy!)

Our Gender Reveal
{Fall 2015}

Carly May Cunningham
{Born January 24, 2016}

My sweet rainbow baby

Our daughter
{squeal!}

I am so blessed to get to be her mama.  

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And lastly, here's a quote I'm loving this week 

as I barely survive these four kids and Wyatt recovering:

As my grandma says,

"This too shall pass!"

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