Showing posts with label The Happiness Project. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Happiness Project. Show all posts

1.25.2015

The Happiness Project :: ATTITUDE :: January

For January my Happiness Project goal area is "Attitude".  This has been a great goal to work on the last three weeks, as my dizziness seems to have returned after a short respite.  I think it's related to my eustachian tube dysfunction, but I'm not sure, and nothing seems to be helping.  So getting through each day with a good attitude has been challenging, but necessary.

In her book, Gretchen Rubin says, "It is easier to complain than to laugh, easier to yell than to joke around, easier to be demanding than to be satisfied."  I both love and hate that.  I love how true it is, but I hate how it describes me.  I want to change it.

She suggests we act how we want to feel, find things to be grateful for and have a mental place of refuge since we naturally focus on the negative.  For me this is especially important.  I use my memories of summer as places for my mind to settle when I get weary.  She also encourages laughter, positive reviews of those around us, and reminds us it is easy to be heavy, hard to be light. 

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"If you don't like something, change it.
If you can't change it, change your attitude about it."
-Maya Angelou

I cannot always choose how my children behave. I can't always choose the life circumstances I am presented with, but I can choose my attitude in response to those things.  I can choose to be content, despite the miscarriages.  I can choose to be content, despite the fact that we're pinching pennies.  I can choose to be content, despite where we live or anything else life throws our way.

When I find my shoulders tight up near my ears, my jaw clenched and my brow furrowed, I remind myself that my attitude is mine and mine alone.  I breathe, slowly loosen my shoulders and unfurrow my brow.  I release my jaw and put a smile on my face.  I find that happy songs tends to help, so January has been a month of music.

My favorites:
Taylor Swift:: 1989
JJ Heller:: I Dream of You
Dierks Bentley:: Riser
Lady Antebellum:: Own The Night
(+ Bartender, which is now my children's favorite song. Hilarious!)


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12.19.2014

The Happiness Project :: ETERNITY :: December

I a little bit fell off the wagon of happiness in November. I still did a lot of the things I had planned, but perhaps less consistently than I would have liked.  But I am determined to stay on track, so here are December's Happiness Goals.
  
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I love this quote.  It reminds me so much of what Gretchen's goal was when she wrote The Happiness Project.  She wanted to "change her life without changing her life."  That's my goal.  I already have a really good, blessed life.  I just want to appreciate that and live it to its fullest.

December's goal area is Eternity.  Gretchen's chapter in the book about Eternity says that great minds encourage us to consider our death.  For death is what makes life so beautiful.  This is a touchy subject for me as a majority of anxiety stems around the idea of getting sick and dying. (And leaving my husband and young children behind.)  But I am determined to do it because I know that if can face the fears, they will diminish and peace will come.


Gretchen started her month on eternity by collecting memoirs to read about suffering, illness and dying.  She explained to her husband that while the books were indeed sad, they were also uplifting.  She found herself extra grateful for her ordinary life.  I had the same feeling as I read Viktor Frankl's book, Man's Search For Meaning last week.  It's about his time spent in a concentration camp and his subsequent theories on the psychology of life's meaning.  The book was, generally speaking, depressing.  But I, too, found myself feeling grateful for the things in my life.  Warm showers, enough food to eat, my loved ones being alive & well.  

Reading these accounts of suffering made real the quote by William Edward Hartpole Lecky,
"There are times in the lives of most of us when we would have given all the world to be as we were but yesterday, though that yesterday had passed over us unappreciated and unenjoyed."

So for the rest of December I want to:

1. Surrender Daily

Let it go & trust God
{remember "It is safe to trust." -Ann Voskamp}
I want to stop fearing bad things that might happen.  
Gretchen reports that this is a great source of unhappiness, 
and I am guilty of it.

2. Keep a daily gratitude journal

Find something about every situation, especially trials, to be grateful for,
& continue with my 1,000 Gifts notebook--
{finding the "ugly beautiful" in my life}

3. Spend some time journaling about death

Keeping in mind that as with surgery, God cuts into our hearts to make us whole.  There's no seeing God face to face without first the ripping. {Ann Voskamp}  As afraid as I am to contemplate my death, I have to go through the pain to arrive at peace.


I want to trust, fully, God's plan for my life, and stay focused on the positive.
The new year holds good things.
I just know it.

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11.06.2014

The Happiness Project :: PASSION :: November

This month's happiness goal area is Passion. I am passionate about a number of things.  Namely happiness, homemaking, blogging & reading.  So those will guide this months' goals.

1) Read For Pleasure

My goal is to read for at least 6 minutes everyday.  It has been shown that reading for pleasure for only six minutes each day noticeably increases happiness.  Following October's goal of reading four books, I am still working on #4, which was Outlander, and this goal will help me reach October's goal, albeit a bit late.

2) Capture Everyday Life

I want to have my camera out and capture the "boring" everydayness of our life.  I want to capture more smiles, more brother moments, more happiness.  I also want to remember/write down fun & silly moments.

3) Blog Freely

After capturing my everyday boringness, I want to share it with you all.  I want to feel free to write whatever I want.  And I want to write about what I'm passionate about.  Two things come to mind when I talk about writing & passion together. One is, the truth.  The raw, ugly, sometimes uncomfortable truth (which is exactly what I've been doing since I lost my pregnancy); and I also want to share little known twin facts & bust myths that exist regarding twins.  

4) Write Down One Thing I Love About Myself Everyday

I have had this list of "Passion" goals written in a notebook since last April when I started my Happiness Project, but especially in light of the miscarriage, I find that writing down something I love about myself is really important.  I am doubting my body, doubting my worth, questioning my value and hating my physical appearance.  With this month's goal being passions, I want to focus on things I love about me & I want to get kick my self rejection habit.

5) Play A GREAT Song Everyday

On Monday I downloaded a few new songs.  It's ridiculous how happy some good tunes can make me.  We have started listening to music during school; use music as a treat for the boys while they do chores (putting away laundry, cleaning their playroom); and I always have something playing while I'm in the shower.  The right music can lift my mood and put a bounce in my step.  So I'm going to keep the trend going this month and pump the jams!

6) Don't Save/Hoard

I want to trust in bounty.  I tend to slowly dole out projects for the boys, and candles or scentsy for myself.  No more.  I want to use the cute stationary, wear the pretty jewelry and burn the delicious candles.  

"Don't save things for a special occasion.
Everyday of your life is a special occasion."
-Thomas S. Monson

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10.20.2014

Around The House

There's not a whole lot happening around here.  Just little bits of life here and there.  But my pictures were starting to stack up, so I thought I'd jumble all the little bits together for a post.

Homeschool


Right now we are waist deep, teaching the basics of reading with Saxon Phonics & Spelling.  I love the curriculum, which walks me through everything, step by step.  It makes me feel really confident, and it's working with the boys.  They have passed every assessment thus far.

One thing I am wishing is that we made more time for reading one on one.  Throughout the day, I find time slipping through my fingers, and making more time for working on fluency is one thing that's on my radar.

We have been doing lots of Pinterest-inspired Halloween craft ideas.  I love these spooky haunted houses that we hung in the hallway upstairs.

 I also love how this one turned out.  
Little leaf hands. 
So precious!

The most challenging part of homeschooling is entertaining Wyatt during our intensive teaching time.  He is proving to be the most difficult aspect of homeschooling.  Which is not to say that he's difficult-- he' s not.  It's just that every time he comes to the kitchen table (where we do the majority of our schooling) with a toy he needs help with, or to ask me to go to the bathroom, he provides a perfect distraction to get the other two off track.  

Sometimes I try to keep him at the table with us, playing sand or doing puzzles, but he is equally distracting there, copying everything I say, or singing Crazy Train to drive his brothers batty.  It's tough. 

My Mini Me

Jack is a little Shelly.  He loves to color, talk on the phone and play with his stuffed animal babies.  Last week, I spent some time writing letters to friends, and he sat beside me at my desk, writing letters of his own, guessing how to spell, and including as many stickers as he could fit on the cards & envelopes.  His favorite part is the address labels.  He really is a kid after my own heart!

The Toddler

This little guys loves vehicles, especially fire trucks, police cars & buses.  He insists that he's "not a baby! I'm a big boy!", but still asks to be rocked occasionally.  He can make the saddest hurt face, and the next minute throw the most epic tantrum.  I love the dichotomy of this age, (he'll be three and a half in December) and am certain it's God's grace extended to mothers.

At this age they are equal parts big kid & sweet baby.  I think that mix allows us to cherish the last bits of their babydom while also facing (and often enjoying) their amazing maturity.


Reading

You can barely see it here, but Wyatt is holding my book-- The Night Circus.  I finished it last week, and am now halfway through my October goal of reading four books.


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Last weekend we watched Divergent, so now I want to read that series as well.  
Hopefully I can get to it.

Right after The Night Circus I started Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn.

The timing of this book was really good.  I have been struggling with enjoying my boys (which is especially frustrating considering my Happiness Project goal this month is to "play") and I know they are receiving the message that I don't find joy in them, which couldn't be further from the truth.

In addition to being semi-annoyed with them constantly, I completely lost it last week when Logan wasn't listening and instead of helping clean, he was doing ninja kicks in the living room and kicked my giant water cup over, spilling it all over the coffee table, ruining a stack of pictures Jack had drawn me as well as this mini-book I had bought to send to my bestie.

I knew it was an accident, but I was so upset about the ruined book & pictures, I couldn't help yelling at him and berating him.  Later, of course, I felt awful and childish for being so angry.

... Like I said, good timing for the parenting unconditionally book!

 Routines

Our afternoons consist of an hour of what we call "Crazy Time" where the boys get to play ball or run or chase or wrestle all they want, followed by snack time at 3pm, and two episodes of Arthur, which is their current favorite in the PBS lineup.

Sometimes before, sometimes after dinner, we do bath time.  We bathe all three boys separately, which can be annoying timewise, but in the end is nice because they get their own space, and also get a little parental one on one time, which is rare in our house.

For a while, Wyatt and the twins were on opposite bathing schedules, so they bathed one day, and he bathed the next.  Every night he would be so sad that he didn't get a bath.  When we put him in he goes, "Ahhhhh, that feels nice." It's so rewarding to have a kid who appreciates the little joys in life, like a warm, bubbly bath.

Missing Home

October, strangely, is the hardest month for me in terms of being away from home (Washington).  I hate missing out on the leaves changing colors, hay rides at the pumpkin patch and trick or treating with my sister and nephews.

It's weird that Halloween is my saddest holiday, and not Christmas or my birthday, but I think we've found ways to make those other days special despite our isolation.  Halloween, on the other hand, is tough.  We don't get to carve pumpkins, attend harvest parties or walk by the waterfront, awed by the stunning oranges.

This year I am focused on what we can do.  We can ask Nanny *my mom* to shop for costumes, sending the perfect outfits for these three excited boys.  We can decorate our house to the nines (courtesy of three years of amazing Halloween care packages from Aunt Julie), with bats & ghosts & spiders to spare.  We can paint the mini pumpkins Grandma Carol sends and decorate with those jack-o-lanterns, even if they don't light up.  And we can attend the Halloween Carnival at the school, ready for a great time, and grateful that at least we have that.

Rural Alaska + Three Boys

This change in weather, it's been snowing lightly off & on for days, has been hard for my morale.  The boys and I are stuck inside together, with temps below thirty and wind that's been a bit wild.  This is how I came up with "Crazy Time" and why I am looking into getting Just Dance for the xbox.  This energy has to find its way out of their bodies one way or another, and I'd rather it be constructively with me in charge than destructively with each other.

We've also been building lots of forts, which equals lots of folding.  It's exhausting, and some days I put the kibosh on forts, but for the most part I try to say yes because it's fun for them, and what else are they going to do?

Memory Books 

Another thing I've pulled out, in addition to blankets for forts & balls for "Crazy Time", are memory books.  These are the epitome of happiness boosters.  The boys love curling up with one, or six, and flipping through the pages, remembering how tiny they were as babies, or how brave they were in the ape caves this summer.

Playtime

Often in the afternoon we have Independent Play Time, where each boy picks a box of toys and goes into seaparate areas of the house to play independently while mama has a break.  Some days they are more successful than others.  This particular day, the twins did a great job playing in my room & their room (respectively) and this one played contentedly in the playroom.

He called to me repeatedly to come see him saying, "Betcha can't see me!" until finally I arrived.  And there he was, sitting in the emptied Lego tote.

He is just so funny.
After I left the room, he promptly tipped over and fell out.  Laughing the whole time.

These two also (at times) entertain me (and themselves) with their play.  This day they were being welders after watching Otto welding a semi truck trailer on Alaska: The Last Frontier.

Little did they know that welding is in their blood.  Josh's dad, Papa Carl, can weld, & their great Uncle Paul repairs welding machines.  And their great grandfather Jay Cunningham? He taught welding at the college in Moses Lake, Washington where their dad was born.

Using the lid to one of their toolboxes and an old rubber band, they macguyvered a welding helmet, to protect their eyes of course, so they could work safely.

I am certain a large part of their inspiration for play comes from watching Yukon Men, Gold Rush and Alaska: The Last Frontier on Discovery.  They will pick any of those three shows over a kids' cartoon every day of the week.  I love it. This is our life. Cold weather & snow, rural living and working hard.  I love how they have embraced it.

Last week they also made a new engine for their "car" (Josh's recliner) using the toolbox they have that allows them to screw bolts on it.  Once they got it in place, Logan started sucking on a pretend line to siphon the coolant out of the motor.  Then Jack brought gas (it was out) and they "got her running."  

Counting Down

We have been counting down the days to Halloween pretty much since we got here, but it started in earnest on the 1st, when we could finally set up our October calendar from Aunt Julie.  Each day has a little magnet, (the boys alternate days, sharing the fun) and it makes the countdown so much fun.

We've also been reading Halloween books, most notably Junie B. First Graders' Boo and I Mean It!  She is so hilarious. The boys and I both enjoy reading her books very much.

{Fall 2014}
{Fall 2011}
We also tried on old costumes (my, how they've grown), and excitedly opened boxes full of new ones.  

I can't wait to take pictures of the three of them in their costumes this year. 

Wyatt's especially cracks me up!

Rural Life

The other night I went to wash my face before bed, only to find that we had no water. Thankfully we have water storage (in the form of totes, drinkable bottled water, and the Brita filter in the fridge) but it freaked me out anyway, and as soon as it came back on I filled three extra pitchers, just in case.


Another truth about life in rural Alaska is that when something like this happens (Saturday Social + Jack + Volleyball = broken glasses) it requires much more than a quick trip to the eye doctor to fix it.  I have to send them off, which will take a week, wait while they repair them and send them back (which will be at least another week) and then *hopefully* Jack will be able to see again.  The amount of time it takes to accomplish some things out here is astonishing. (And irritating!)

But if we're patient, good things will come!  Like groceries!  Oh we were so happy last Wednesday when our giant box of macaroni & cheese showed up.  Easy meals, here we come!

We were even more overjoyed to have cheese!!!  We haven't had cheese in weeks!  (Thank you Samuel!)


 In addition to waiting for things we want or need (like fixed glasses & food for the children) I also have to do a lot of things on my own.  Like giving the kids their haircuts.  I am getting pretty quick, and (I say humbly) pretty good  at giving haircuts. They are never perfect, and I find Wyatt's hair is more forgiving of my inexperience than the twins' straw straight blond, but they look cared for and fresh, and that's all I'm looking for.  I also do Josh's, and (thankfully) he doesn't complain.

The Gear

This year we had to buy new gear for Jack and new boots for Logan.  The twins have always been a size apart, and when it comes to buying gear (snow pants, coats & boots) it's quite convenient.  Logan wears whatever Jack outgrows and then Wyatt has worked his way through the sizes as he has grown.

Regardless of how much I can pass down, originally getting good gear is expensive!  But we have learned the hard way that paying for brand names is worth the price.  We've had snow gloves and boots that weren't waterproof, as well as snow pants (instead of overalls) that lead to wet bodies.  Out here you live and learn quick.

For the kids we do snow pants in the overall variety because if their jackets ride up, their under clothes still stay warm & dry.  We buy Sorel boots for snow, Muck boots for mud and either Lands End, LL Bean or Northface jackets for outerwear.  We don't buy any coats that aren't temperature rated, waterproof and windproof.  Jack's newest jacket is rated for -5 degrees below zero. 

Children's snow gloves are hands down the hardest thing to find.  Mittens are easier, but the boys like their fingers to have dexterity.  It's a challenge.  Now that they're bigger it's easier, but ages 3-5, it's really hard.

The Arctic Entry

Finding all that amazing gear is only one part of the challenge.  The second is storing it in some manner that makes sense and provides ease of use for Josh and I when gearing up our three rambunctious boys.  I have been brainstorming a space in the arctic entry for hats & mittens.   They don't hang on the hooks we have, and I hate having them on the floor.  It's a nightmare.

I'm hoping to find something on Target.com, a shelf or basket that will work, hung right above the hooks.  I better figure something out soon cause the snow is coming down!


Photo Finish

After organizing the arctic entry, I hung new pictures, from the summer, downstairs in all the frames.  The new memories make me so happy.  These are just a few-- (clockwise from the left) The boys at the beach, cousins at Cougar, cousins at t-ball practice, Jack fishing, Wyatt teaching Great Grandpa Jerry how to play Angry Birds on the tablet, and the twins with their Aunt Roxanne.

The Boys Room

 Two weeks ago we finally finished redecorating the boys' room from when we moved furniture back in August.  I am so happy with how it turned out.  I love the boys' picture boards (seen above, beside Wyatt's bed) and they enjoyed picking new memories to hang on them.  

My favorite part of the room is this corner--  I love how it turned out.  I love all the happy yellow, the cozy blanket & fluffy pillow, as well as the "You are my sunshine" art.  ($12 at Walmart this summer!)

The boys' favorite part is having new pictures from recent adventures on their picture boards as well as having their own art work displayed in the room.  I am also in love with their adorable owl humidifier-- a must in Alaska!

A lot of people wonder how it works having all three of them in the same room, but we have found that it works for us.  It streamlines bedtime, allowing us to read stories & tuck them all in at the same time; and it allows us to use the third bedroom (downstairs) as a playroom, which means there are no toys in their room, which is very important to me.  

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Well I am off to bed.
Those boys are going to wake up raring to go,
and I'd better be prepared.

10.02.2014

The Happiness Project:: PLAY :: October

One of my favorite quotes from The Happiness Project is "It is easy to be heavy, hard to be light."  Gretchen writes that laughing & being silly is judged harshly against being serious & stone faced.  This month, I want to give in to the lighthearted things in life.  

1)  Stop Doing

Enjoying "play" this month will require that I not do some other things.  Mainly waste time.  So I will be tracking my wasted time spent online, on Facebook, on my phone playing Solitaire and doing other non-fun things.

2) Start Doing

In addition to eliminating things from my days, I will be adding some things I do enjoy, like going outside, running & laughing with my kids.   I'd like to play more games, do more crafts & let loose a little more often.

3) Enjoy Hobbies

I have made a goal of reading four novels this month.  I also want to continue working on my cross stitch project.  And I'd really love to get my blog caught up.  I have fifteen drafts currently sitting in my folder.  I've been working on it!

The four books I'd like to read are:

And for fun, here are the titles of a few blog posts I have in the works:
What Battling Anxiety Looks Like
Peaceful Parenting
My Giant Wyatt
Reasons to Trust
Novels 2014-2015

4) Figure Out What I Like

Gretchen says that it's important to recognize what you like, as well as what you don't like.  So this month I will be paying close attention to what makes me feel happy and what doesn't.  For instance, lately, when the kids are out of control and I'm feeling really grouchy, I have found that plopping down with a colorbook and fresh box of Crayola's can change everyone's mood.  Who knew coloring would be among my favorite activities?

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So here's to a month of fun.


"There's power in looking silly and not caring that you do."
-Amy Poehler

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