Twin Birth

{Friday June 6, 2008}

The boys were born on the day I hit the 37 week mark.  My contractions started at 2am.  By 6am they were intense enough that I woke Josh up and told him he should call in to work.  We arrived at the hospital at 8am.  At 10am when Dr. Plaut came in to check on my progress she said I was dilated 1cm, which meant that the labor was progressing. She suggested we do the c-section, and scheduled the OR for 2pm.  (We had planned a c-section in advance due to Logan being so small & face down, but Jack being transverse- across my belly- and the larger of the two.)

When she said she was scheduling the OR Josh and I high fived! We were so excited! Later the fear crept in:  This was major surgery. I was worried about the boys' sizes and health.  Knowing our lives would never be the same. But luckily Josh has a way of calming my fears.  He held my hand, let me cry and told me it would be okay.  In my heart, I knew he was right.

At 2pm we walked down to the OR and Josh waited in the hall while I had my spinal done.  When he came in, he sat in a chair by my head and we waited.

At 2:54pm Logan Henry (Baby A) came into the world crying. To hear his cry, was the sweetest moment of my life. I had finally become a mother.

At 2:55pm Jack Sawyer (Baby B) came quietly into the world.  When Dr. Plaut said he had arrived, I felt complete.

 I had done my  job.  I had grown those babies and delivered them safely into the world.

 After the boys were born they were taken to the NICU (aka the nursery) to be monitored.  Josh went with them. They were concerned about the boys keeping their blood sugars up. And about Logan keeping his body temperature.  Meanwhile I was wheeled to recovery.

 A short time later they brought the boys in to be nursed.  But first I got to just hold them.  Finally, after months and months of dreaming about holding these babies, they were in my arms. Already I felt torn by there being two of them. If I looked at one, I wanted to be looking at the other!  I couldn't believe there was really two of them.

I was informed that Jack was going to stay with me from that point, but that Logan would be taken back to the NICU.  So I took advantage of him being in the room to nurse to feast my eyes on this tiny boy.  His small size was completely shocking to me. I couldn't believe I had had a four pound baby!
 Everything about him was miniature and perfect.

 On the way back to the NICU after nursing Josh & Logan ran into Grandma Carol. She was so overjoyed for these boys to arrive.

 During the 18 hours Logan was in the NICU Josh traveled back and forth between our two rooms. I was unable to walk (from the spinal) so he fed, changed and kept Logan company. Then he came back and did the same for Jack & I.  He was amazing.
This is our favorite picture of Logan in the NICU. He looked so tiny on Josh's forearm.

 Here is Logan all hooked up in the NICU.
He was just the most precious thing I'd have ever seen.

 While Logan was in the NICU with Josh, I focused solely on Jack.  He was named after Josh. Josh's initials are JAC, and we thought Jack would be fitting, since we didn't want a junior. And Jack looked exactly like Josh.  It was unbelievable.

The day after the boys were born my sister flew home from California, and when she walked in the room, I nearly cried. I didn't realize how much I had wanted and needed her there. I needed her to see my babies, hold my babies, love my babies alongside me. And oh did she love them!!!
 I love this picture of her with Logan because of how alert he is. He was always like this.  Like my wise old man, just taking it all in.

My mom had been there off and on from the get-go.  She was there while I got prepped for surgery and she took care of me in recovery while Josh was with the boys in the NICU.  She took incredible care of myself and my boys.  With two babies for Josh to care for, and myself recovering from surgery, that third set of hands was much needed.

 The Cunningham Twins
{Logan & Jack}

 Logan Henry

 Jack Sawyer

On Monday, it was time to go home.  We put the boys in their car seats, packed up and headed out.

  This was my favorite sight... My husband carrying our precious babies out to the car, to go home together.

And so began our adventure as a family of four.

Two Souls

On this day ten years ago, I spent my last day being pregnant with twins.  I went to bed planning on a getting a manicure the next day with my mom, hoping to pass the time, waiting for the twins to make their debut.  I was 36 weeks + 6 days on June 5th, and feeling good about how long I had cooked those sweet babes.  Their clothes were washed and tucked away in their dresser; their nursery was ready; and their carseats were in the new (to us) Honda Pilot we had to buy because the double stroller didn't fit in the trunk of the Honda Accord I had owned before we found out we were expecting twins.  

We had chosen their names; packed their diaper bag; and stocked up on diapers.  We were ready. 

Ten years ago I went to sleep having no idea just how much my life would change for the better on June 6th.  How two souls would slip into my life, turn me into a mother, and I would never be the same again.  

***

Book recommendations

I have been working on a new Book Page for the top of the blog.  It's still in the works.  In the meantime, here is a post of all my favorite books, by category.  If you've read the blog for any time at all, you know I am a book lover, and I truly believe in the life changing ability they have.

Parenting Books

• 10 Habits of Happy Moms by Dr. Meg Meeker
• Peaceful Parents, Happy Kids by Dr. Laura Markham
• (Unconditional Parenting by Alfie Kohn-- on my to-read list)
• Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child by Dr. Mark Weissbluth

For mom of multiples

• One and the Same by Abigail Pogrebin
• Twins! Pregnancy, Birth, and the First Year of Life
• When You're Expecting Twins, Triplets or Quads

For moms of boys

• It's a Boy! by Dr. Michael Thompson

Self Help

• Life Code by Dr. Phil
• Women, Food and God by Geneen Roth
• The Happiness Project by Gretchen Rubin

For homeschooling

• Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons
• Junie B Jones for read aloud
• Biscuit books for reading
• (The Well Trained Mind by Susan Wise Bauer & Jessie Wise-- on my to-read list)
• (The Charlotte Mason Companion-- on my to-read list)

For the kids

• Tacky The Penguin by Helen Lester
• I Stink by Kate McMullan
• Alice the Fairy (& all other books) by David Shannon
• All Mercer Mayer books

Anxiety Books

• Hope & Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes
• The Feeling Good Handbook by David Burns

For fun!

Summer Reads

• Anything by Elin Hildebrand
• Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants by Ann Brashares

Favorites of all time

• Sea Glass by Anita Shreve
• The Birth House by Ami McKay
• What Remains by Carole Radziwill
• Barefoot by Elin Hildebrand
• Cutting for Stone by Abraham Verghese
• The Light Between Oceans by M.L. Stedman
• The Notebook by Nicholas Sparks
• American Wife by Curtis Sittenfeld
• The Room by Emma Donoghue
• Belong To Me by Marisa de los Santos
• What Alice Forgot by Liane Moriarty

Favorite Blogger Books

• Bloom by Kelle Hampton
• Heaven is Here by Stephanie Nielson

Book Club Picks

• Sisterland by Curtis Sittenfeld
• Where'd You Go Bernadette by Maria Semple
• Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
• The Husband's Secret by Liane Moriarty
• Stella Bain by Anita Shreve
• Tell The Wolves I'm Home by Carol Rifka Brunt

For the next year, I am committing to not buying any books except our "once a month" book club picks.  The goal is to read through all the unread books on my shelf, re read some of my old favorites and save a ton of money in the process.  So... if you feel like sending me your old books in the fall (PO Box 153 Marshall, AK 99585)  I will be ever so grateful! ;)

It's Twins!

Pregnancy Dreams

When I was 1 week pregnant (and didn't even know it yet) I dreamed that I was pregnant with twins and the doctor was explaining that one baby hides behind the other sometimes.  That is what happened for real, at 19 weeks, when the ultrasound tech found a second baby.  We had missed him at my previous appointments.  We saw one little white bean at my first appointment, and heard one heartbeat at my next appointment.  Until I re-read my journals after having the twins, I had completely forgotten about this random dream.

I also dreamed about that I gave birth to the tiniest, most adorable hispanic twins before I knew I was carrying two babies.  In that dream, one of the twins died and I took it home in a baggie. That's how small they were.

Disturbing, I know.

Pregnancy Complications

My midwife, having heard that the tech found a second baby, called me at home the evening after my appointment to apologize for missing it.  The worst part (if there is a bad part) about finding out I was having twins was that I could no longer see my midwife. I had to see an OBGYN because of the risks of twin pregnancy.  Luckily I liked my OB as much as I had my midwife, and I needed a good doctor as my twin pregnancy was not without complications. 

I had gallbladder attacks, starting at 24 weeks, and the pain of the attacks would cause me to contract.  I was placed on a low-fat (10 grams of fat/day) diet and was able to sustain the pregnancy to 37 weeks.  Eight weeks postpartum I had surgery to remove my gallbladder.  When I later got pregnant with Wyatt, I was so grateful I didn't have any eating restrictions. With the twins, I wanted to have a steak SO bad!  The good thing about the diet was that I only gained 25 pounds, but at the time, I didn't care about that!

Having A Favorite

Having a favorite twin is very common, although it's a taboo topic.  I have done a lot of research on the subject, and it's somewhat evolutionary to have a preference.  70% of mothers prefer the larger, more robust twin.  And did you know that panda's who give birth to twins only keep one? They cannot sustain two, so they don't even try.  Knowing that many women have a favorite, and that with time the issue resolves itself, I felt less bad about the fact that I had a preferred baby when the boys were born.

Who is Older?

It's a question I get a lot.  And one that I don't mind answering.  Being that I have my degree in psychology, I strongly believe in the importance of birth order.  I think where you are in your family line up has a huge impact on who you are, so I have always been open with the twins about who is the firstborn.  There are many twin experts who will tell you not to divulge birth order with your twins because it causes competition.  But the truth is, twins will compete.  It's the nature of twinship.

Honestly, I am more concerned about competition because of ability (or lack thereof) than I am about competition over who is older.

That's Twin-Parenting Life

A friend of mine sent me this Link to a hilarious article about raising twins. Josh and I were laughing out loud reading it together one night.  If you have twins, it's a must-read.

The Twin Bond

On Monday, the boys were watching Lion King during nap time, and as Jack watched Simba take in what land his father said was theirs, he goes, "I would want to be a lion king... but only if I could be a twin lion."

My mama heart melted.

I just love being their mom.  I feel so lucky that I have gotten to experience everything that being a twin mom has allowed.  From the magic of, at one point, being three people in one (which always tripped me out to think about) to witnessing their similarities & differences everyday, it has been a blessed journey.

***

Today's Daily Gratitude:

Prayer

Connection to that which is bigger than me

Memories

A memory you would love to relive.

I have pondered this for days. 

If I could go back in time to any point in my life, where would I go? 

What would I do? What moments would I like to relive?

It's impossible to decide.

• I would go back to Josh and I dating, the very beginning when everything was new & exciting, and I was all butterflies.

• I would go back to the moment we found out we were expecting twins.

{34 weeks with twins}

• I would go back to those first few crazy weeks with the twins and make sure I squished them up properly.

• I would go back to being pregnant (with the twins or Wyatt) and I would feel those tiny legs squirming inside me.  I would feel those first faint flutters of amazing and revel in it.  I would go back to that moment in time when my body housed three, and I would marvel at the miracle of it.

{32 weeks with the twins}

• I would go back to those four days in the hospital with Wyatt, when Josh and I got to pretend we were a family of three (which we never had been) and cherish every moment.

~

But really, if I'm being honest, I don't feel the need to travel back in time.  

I am content right here & now.  

And that feels good.