Week 18 Around Here {2019}

Taking... care of sick kids all week.  It started with Logan over the weekend, and has moved through the entire family since then.  It's hit Wyatt the hardest, leaving him with a double ear infection and on a round of oral steroids.  He hasn't had to go on oral steroids since the fall, and I am disappointed to see him on them again.  But his regular regimen of treatments wasn't working.
Even Carly got pretty sick by the end of the week. Even throwing up from coughing so hard, poor girl.
Having Wyatt home sick wasn't all bad this week, though, as I love seeing him and Carly play and snuggle together.  They love to lay in my bed and watch PJ Masks, to play in the backyard on the trampoline and to read books together on the couch.  I love their little bond.

Feeling... loved and seen when I found a picture Wyatt had taken of me asleep on the couch as he played on my phone while doing a middle-of-the-night treatment.  Being a mom is so hard, and not so glamorous most of the time, but we always carry on, because that's what we were made for.

Getting... results from Wyatt's MRI and feeling quite puzzled.  His primary care physician said the finding on it (a cyst on his pineal gland) is purely an incidental finding and we don't even know what the pineal gland does.  So I left the appointment feeling disappointed to not have any answers about Wyatt's headaches & insomnia, but also relieved that nothing serious is wrong with his brain.
But I couldn't believe there was a part of the brain we know nothing about, so I did a little research and found that actually the pineal gland is known for producing melatonin and modulating circadian rhythms (aka: controlling sleep) and that if you have a cyst on it that has symptoms, the symptom is most likely headache.
Which are the two symptoms Wyatt has been suffering since February.

So I have put in a call for a referral to neurology so we can discuss further options for him.  If his symptoms continue to worsen, the solution could be as serious as brain surgery.  Prayers for him as we move forward would be very (very) welcome. 

Testing... the twins in school this week and praying they try their very best.  Testing has not been their strong suit (they tend to rush) and we really want to see what they are actually capable of.

Bribing... them to do well on said tests with blizzards from Dairy Queen if they tried their hardest and get good reports from their teachers. #bestparentingmove #nailingit #hah

Reading... Miracle Creek, The Midwife of Hope River, Verity and The Reluctant Midwife.  I finished The Midwife of Hope River and Miracle Creek this week, both of which were very good.  Miracle Creek was a bit of a mystery (a fire was set- who set it!? and a trial ensues) and The Midwife of Hope River was an audio book that I enjoyed listening to very much after watching Call The Midwife all last week on Netflix.
Then I started The Reluctant Midwife (#2 in the series) which was even better than the first audio book, and reading Verity, which I borrowed from the library.  Verity is the most disturbing book I have read in a long time.  I actually gasped out loud multiple times as I read this one and I did not see the end coming.

Choosing... four books for The Inspired Readers Book Club to read this summer.
We will be reading:
That Kind of Mother by Rumaan Alam for May.
Bel Canto by Ann Patchett for June
The Perfect Couple by Elin Hilderbrand for July
The Seven Husbands of Evelyn Hugo by Taylor Jenkins Reid for August

We would love to have you join us- just click the link above to find The Inspired Readers Book Club on Facebook and request to join.

Picnicking... in the front yard with Wyatt & Carly at her insistence one afternoon.  It was a gorgeous day, and I am so glad we did it.  Especially because my friend Jolene happened to drive by and then stopped to join us.  It was so lovely to visit with her and enjoy the day.

Walking... two afternoons once Josh was home to relieve my stress, and oh, how lovely those walks were.  Usually this time of year, I am walking the kids to and from school, which ends up being over an hour of walking (there and back, and there and back) totaling three miles distance, but with Wyatt sick, I have been stuck indoors all week, so walking those two afternoons was just what the doctor ordered and felt amazing.

Eating... dinner outside as well, enjoying the spring weather.  The kids really love eating outside, and even though it's so much work to move everything outside, I am always glad when we do because being outside makes us all happier.

 Enjoying... Mike's Hard Peach Lemonade.  I've never had that kind, and I really love it!

Amazed... at how long Carly's hair is getting.  I remember when I could barely get two pig tails, and now I can braid it and all kinds of stuff with it. It's so much fun!  She loves choosing "hair pretties" everyday.

Irritated... with Ramona (our cat) who keeps escaping the house.  Every time a door opens, she is ready to dash out and we are all worried she's going to get lost or hurt.  Thus far, she has always come home, but I hate it nonetheless.  One afternoon I got home from walking to find her in a box by the garbage cans.  She's such a funny little thing.

Watching... Brene Brown's Netflix Special on courage.  It makes me want to be such a careful parent, and to teach my kids that the opposite of belonging is fitting in.  None of us should change who we are to be with others.  Embrace who God made you!
She also says if I want more love and intimacy and joy, I must let myself be seen.  Vulnerability is the path back to each other.  (Gah, so good, but so hard!)
When she mentioned that we're terrified to feel joy and often dress rehearse tragedy in the midst of it, I felt like she was standing in my living room accusing me personally.  Ha!  You got me, Brene!  Since watching the show, I am trying to catch myself when I am enjoying a happy moment and switch over to "I better enjoy this because at any moment I could lose all of this."  I don't want fear to steal my joy anymore.
And finally, here's the quote that's been running through my head since watching it:

"Vulnerability is having 

the courage 

to show up 

when you don't know 

or control 

the outcome."

-Brene Brown

Loving... Wyatt's ability to focus and stack things.  He will spend hours just working on stacking things (currently he enjoys stacking Matchbox cars), seeing how many he can do.  I love his tenacity and stick-to-a-tive-ness.  This week in addition to cars, he also stacked Lego Duplo bricks floor to ceiling in our dining room.  He's out of this world!

Great advice for me:

 

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Week 17 Around Here {2019}

{Carly's first self portrait}

{My guy & his dad}

{Grandma Carol & Carly May}

{He's always playing with her hair. Melts my heart.}

{Uncle Samuel & his biggest fan}

Celebrating... Easter by having Josh's parents and brother over for dinner.  Josh did all the cooking and I baked a carrot cake from scratch with my grandma Beverly's recipe.  Everything was super yummy and the company was really lovely.  The kids loved their easter baskets (the boys all got pens and locking journals- for privacy!) and Carly got a stuffed kitty & a game called Spot It Jr., plus some candy.
They did an easter egg hunt in the backyard, which Carly has replayed every single day since (hiding her own eggs and "finding" them again) which is adorable, and tiresome. Ha!

Baseballin'... four times this week.  The twins had games Saturday, Monday & Wednesday and Wyatt had games Tuesday & Wednesday, so we all got in a lot of game watching, and Wednesday Josh and I had to "divide & conquer"- him taking the twins to their game (he's their coach) and me taking Wyatt and Carly to Wyatt's game.

Watching... Wyatt's sunflower plants grow.  Last year he had one GIANT sunflower that we left all year (through the winter) and it seeded and started to grow baby sunflowers this spring.  So now the garden patch is FULL of little green plants that started as sunflower seeds and are now sprouting up, with the poppped open sunflower shells still sitting atop the plants like little hats. So cute!

Rushing... to school early Tuesday morning when they called me because Logan had gone to the office complaining of an aura (the feeling he has preceding a seizure).  I got there with Carly & Wyatt to check on him, and found that he had maybe already had a seizure (based on his description of symptoms).  So we walked back to his classroom together and I took some notes from a fellow classmate who'd been sitting at the back table with him.
Sure enough, the way his friend described Logan during those few moments leads me to believe Logan did, indeed, have a breakthrough seizure. (After five months seizure free) He came home with me for the rest of the day so I could keep an eye on him, and I put a call in to his neurologist.  She had warned us that with hormones and growing, we could see some breakthrough seizures because he was on the low end of the therapeutic dose.
She suggested we put him on 1,000mg of the Depakote at night and keep on 500mg in the morning.  So that is what we are now doing and thus far, he hasn't had any more seizures. (fingers crossed)

Seeing... my counselor for the first time since mid-February.  I had thought I had more scheduled at the time, but I didn't and by the time I got around to scheduling more, there weren't any openings until now.  I did okay without the visits for a little while, but then it got hard not seeing him every couple weeks.
We talked this week about my inability to see my worth and how I am allowed to have needs.  I think sometimes as a wife and mother, I believe I should be able to pour from an empty bucket.  Turns out, I can't.  Or at least not very well.  I have also noticed that I'm really hard on myself.  When I make a mistake, I say to myself in my mind (and sometimes even out loud) "Mom fail!" So my work this week is to let myself have needs, to allow myself to be human (no more labeling accidents as "mom fails") and to ask for help if and when I need it.

Forgetting... snacks for Wyatt's team on Wednesday, which was a huge test for me, as I had just recently seen my counselor and discussed my recent bout with perfectionism and how whenever I make a mistake I am super hard on myself.  So I took a deep  breath, apologized to the other moms and told them it had been a tough week, and accepted their kind words of understanding.  They assured me a sugary, after game snack was NOT a big deal and that no one was upset.
Normally I would have beat myself up the entire way home, maybe even the whole week about it, but I was determined to accept their easy forgiveness and offer myself grace, so I quickly moved on, telling myself I am "human" and that means making errors. #onesmallstep

Facing... an aggressive dad at the park when our boys all got in a scuffle with each other, as ten and twelve year old boys are wont to do, and he came over looking for us.  When Josh didn't discipline our boys passionately enough to his liking, he wanted to step in for him and things got tense, but Josh quietly stood his ground and the man eventually walked away.  But the whole rest of the evening he kept posturing, trying to get between me and my kids, staring us down... it was incredibly uncomfortable.  But in the end, it was a good lesson for my boys- to not fight with others at the playground; to run for help if others are fighting with you; and that as an adult, that father should have known better than trying to solve problems with yelling, swearing, and posturing.

Attending... a positive parent-teacher conference for Logan that made Josh and I so proud of him.  He has done a complete turn around during this third quarter, getting his name on the Self Manager list; moving himself when his fellow students distract him; and improving all his grades.  It was so great to watch him as his teacher listed off all the ways in which he has progressed.  He was positively beaming.

Reading... Rising Strong, Miracle Creek & The Midwife of Hope River.  I am so excited because The Midwife of Hope River is the first in a series of three, and I love it.  I am listening to it, and it has me doing all.the.chores so I can listen a little more. ;)

Watching... Season Seven of Call The Midwife on Netflix.  Gosh I love that show so much!  (Thanks for telling me the new season was on, mom!)

Losing... my flipping mind with all the bottle flipping Wyatt does. Lord help me.  The constant CLUNK CLUNK CLUNK is mind numbing. Ahhh!

Getting... a spacer put in for Logan & Jack at the orthodontist this week, and adjusting it nightly, to slowly spread out their upper jaw, spreading their teeth (and whole smile really) bit by bit.  It has taken some getting used to in terms of talking and eating, but they have handled it really well.  We also had to get Logan's wire replaced for the second and third time.  The third time was because he lost a tooth that had a bracket on it, and that caused the wire to become loose & start poking him in the back of the mouth at bedtime.  So Josh had to cut it out.  Thank goodness the hygienists at the orthodontists office are so dang patient with him!

Loving... the drive to Josh's parents land.  It's in the country and I always feel so relaxed on the drive out.

Inspired... by so many of the Instagram accounts I follow- Meredith Toering, Morgan Harper Nichols, Tiffany Gray, Laura Bentley, Laura Kelley, and Sherry Duerre.

Laughing... as Carly begged me to "go super fast like Blaze" on the way home from Grandma & Papa's land, and when I told her I couldn't, that if I did the police would get me she responded vehemently, "No they won't! You're a mom!"
Hah! I want to get that in writing!

Thankful... for friends who see me clearly, and love me dearly. I am so blessed by them.  They buoy me up, assure me I am not alone in this crazy adventure we call "motherhood", and encourage me to carry on when life gets hard.  Particularly my book club girls- meeting with them every month brings me such joy.

For a laugh:

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