Around Here: Week 31 2021

 {July 25-31st}

Famous last words:
"I would LOVE to have twins"
hahahahahaha

The card Carly made for Uncle Samuel
I cannot even with the cuteness.

Heading... home from our small group get together early on Sunday and feeling so grateful for audiobooks and good music for the long drive home.  Also grateful for Panera, which is a restaurant I miss so much here at home and was so happy to get before heading out of town in Vancouver. 

Getting... together at Josh's sister Julie and her wife Erica's house to celebrate her baby Isaac graduating from HIGH SCHOOL! He was an infant at our wedding, and he is perpetually 8 years old in my mind.  Hah!  My favorite Isaac story is the day after the twins were born, he was getting his cast off at the hospital so they stopped by to visit and Isaac said, "You should name him (Jack) Jack-in-the-box. It rhymes." His little high pitched voice and big brown eyes were so sincere. It took all we had to not laugh at him.  Goodness he was a cutie! And now he's all grown up with the world at his fingertips. 
We had the best visit with Josh's brother and Julie's other son Ethan. I love our family so much and I am so grateful that they moved here. (In our neighborhood no less!) 

Laughing... at Carly wearing one ear of a pair of headphones and pretending she is a DJ. Her imagination is just wild and I hope it never changes. 

Wishing... that teachers (like many professionals) got more respect than they do. I hear a lot of "Must be nice to have three months off" when I tell people Josh is a teacher, and let me tell you, Yes it is nice.  It is, in fact, awesome.  But he did nearly six years of school for this and his everyday with 20+ students is NOT easy.  And the amount of time he puts in is surely over his contract hours.  I will tell you this, I couldn't do it. At least not with fourth graders.  That's tough!! But he is so patient and picks his battles and has amazing classroom management. 
I think that a lot of times we think work is only "hard" if it's physically demanding, but it can be "hard" if it's mentally or emotionally taxing as well. 
(steps off soap box.)
Carry on.

Finding...  notes about baby names and twins in my journal from 2007.  (Our own twins were born a year later, in 2008.) We knew we wanted to be surprised about the sex, but apparently, I also thought I wanted twins. I wrote at the bottom "I would LOVE to have twins." Hahah! Oh my goodness, the irony.  I loved looking back at what names I liked.  I don't remember liking Carly from so long ago, so that made me happy, and Jack and Sawyer are both on there as well. We changed the name from Landon to Logan when something tragic happened to a baby named Landon who was a friend of a friend.  I loved Logan because of Baby-Sitters club.

Remembering... when I saw the sticker in my old journal that I tried out for Nashville Star.  Gosh that feels like a million years ago.  Full disclosure: I screwed up the lyrics and was told to leave. Ha! Oh well.  Nothing ventured, nothing gained. Now I just use my singing voice to sing lullabies to Carly at bedtime. 

Organizing... my journals (I have over 100) and getting rid of any that were not full or not necessary.  I only got rid of a handful, but I am happy to have the collection simplified. It was also fun to find all my school ID's from junior high and high school.  Lots of dark lipstick and bangs. Oh my.

Grateful... for the backpacks my mom bought Wyatt & Carly for the new school year.  Wyatt's has a pocket for his chromebook and is a super cute denim material.  Carly's is so her- covered in butterflies- and has a matching lunch box which she loves. 

Trying... an experiment my sister told us about.  We put blue painters tape in the shape of a square on the floor and waited to see if Molly would go in it like it was a box.  She didn't and we were bummed.  

Giving... everyone haircuts on Tuesday.  The guys all look so fresh now!

Decorating... the hallway with encouragement (and all the help) from Josh.  I was overwhelmed to start the project (that I have now put off almost two years!) but he reminded me how happy I would be with the finished outcome and so I begrudgingly started sorting through frames and describing my vision for Josh.  He executed it perfectly, and I cannot believe how happy it makes me, and how it warms up the upstairs.  My favorite part is the kids' school pictures.  Eventually we will have all four kids photos from kinder through senior year, and it's going to be so fun to look and compare them. 

Enjoying... the movies with my guys while my friend's daughter Selah watched Carly.  I had a garage sale a few weeks ago and wanted to use the money I made to take the five of us to see Fast & Furious (F9) at the theater.  We went and there were only two other families there, and we got delicious snacks (hello popcorn and candy and slushees) and had the best time.  The Fast & Furious movies at this point are kind of cheesy, but I love the message about family (my kids all go around saying, "It's about family" like Vin Diesel and it makes me laugh and feel warm hearted at the same time) and the boys are super into cars, so it was great for them. 
And the bonus was that Carly had a great time playing with Selah, and Selah did great for her first time babysitting alone. I was so proud!

Laying... low when the kids got sick toward the end of the week.  Lots of runny noses and coughing and just feeling blah.  We started Wyatt on his neb right away, which was the right thing as we were able to avoid oral steroids, and Carly was up multiple nights coughing uncontrollably until we took her in our bathroom and ran the shower at full blast.  Between that, the honey, the humidifier in her room and the saline nose spray, we got through it without having to take her in. But when her coughing got really bad it was hard for me to stay in the moment because coughing is so traumatizing to me after all that Wyatt has been through. I had to remind myself that her coughing doesn't mean her throat is closing or her asthma is acting up. Because that's what Wyatt's coughing means. Thankfully Josh is very clear headed in those moments and he took the lead. 

Visiting... with Josh's brother Samuel when he came over Thursday.  He's super fun and Josh and I always enjoy when he stops by.  It was his birthday this week, so we celebrated a few days late with some cake and ice cream which thrilled the kids.  My kids adore Samuel, especially Carly, and they were happy to celebrate him.  As was I. He's a great uncle to the kids, brother to Josh and friend to me. We're all so glad he was born. 

Having... a breakthrough with my health anxiety this week.  One evening I popped a cherry tomato in my mouth after dinner (it was a fresh one from our garden) and I started having an itchy throat. I told Josh maybe I am allergic. I felt worried and started to panic, and I really (really!) wanted to medical google, but I didn't allow myself.  After standing in the kitchen for a minute and checking in with my body, I could tell it wasn't an allergic reaction but an anxiety thing. I told myself that I was fine, that I did NOT need to google anything and that I was just trying to deal with the stress of getting Wyatt on the nebulizer and Carly being up coughing so many nights in a row.  My nerves were fried, and medical anxiety is how I deal with that. I'm not sure why (my counselor says it could be that I am just trying to control what I can) but I know that's how I cope.  I talked to Josh, got myself distracted with a TV show and planned an early bedtime, as sleep is the best thing in my arsenal against anxiety. 
When it was all over, the next day, Josh told me he was so proud of me.  I said, "What for?" And he said, "Last night, you felt weird, then worried.  But in less than three minutes you knew it was anxiety and you shut it down.  That's really amazing.  You've come so far."
And he's right. I have.  When we lived in Alaska, any kind of health concern would send me spiraling for days.  And I truly believed I had: cancer, C Diff or whatever other strange malady I had convinced myself my body was showing symptoms of. Now I recognize the feelings and am better able to stay in the moment and talk myself down. 
It's huge progress. 

Talking... to my counselor on Friday and being reminded that worrying ahead is not helpful.  I am trying to stay in today and not borrow trouble.  She also said when I'm spending time with others, it might be good to turn off my "fix it" brain (with my kids, friends or family) and instead just be there to listen instead of help.  I swear it's like that idea never occurred to me. 
If something is wrong with my family and friends, I just want to FIX IT. NOW. Hah! Sometimes the best thing I can do is be supportive without getting all up in their business and solving their problems. 
She, like Josh, was really proud of my coping skills with my health anxiety.  That felt nice. 

Reading... Golden Girl by Elin Hilderbrand, but the main character is dead, so I am not really buying into it, as she's writing from heaven and it feels a bit mystical for me. We'll see if I finish it. 

Moving... the hutch and the art & crafts cubbies and feeling a lot better about the dining room area now.  It is so much less cluttered and it gives us way more room for Josh's easy chair in the family room.  I also organized the rest of the second pantry (which we use for odds and ends) and I am super pleased with how it turned out. (I'll be sharing a post soon that has our Primary Closet makeover, as well as our downstairs closet redo, the pantry before and afters and the laundry room before and afters. So fun!)

Hosting... Josh's cousin Nathan, his wife Dunnette and their cutie patootie sons Caleb and Gabriel for dinner.  Gosh it was fun to visit and let the kids play (Carly and Gabe especially had a good time, and were so CUTE together!) and catch up.  I'm grateful that we live closer now!

Wanting... to share here that Josh and I are both vaccinated (I got Pfizer and he got Moderna) and the twins are also vaccinated (they got Pfizer) and I want you know that if you have any questions about our vaccines and how we felt afterward, or anything at all, I am here.  I really do believe in the vaccine and am hoping more people get vaccinated so we can go back to school (and stay in school) through the fall. So if you're having doubts or questions about yourself or your kiddos, I would love to share our experience with you. Take care of yourselves! xoxo

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