Oh my G-O-S-H!!!
(Wyatt's been saying this on repeat since he picked it up from The Lego Movie the other day. Now it's in my head all.the.time.) It has been TEN DAYS since I last blogged. I don't really know how that is possible, and at the same time, it's amazing I've been able to blog at all lately. As we started December I found myself feeling overwhelmed at the impending holiday chaos, sadder than ever about being apart from Josh, and dealing with sick kid after sick kid.
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| Seeing a lot of these terrible late-night numbers on my clock... |
It has been agony to miss Josh. Instead of it getting easier, more normal for him to be gone as time has passed, I've found the last few weeks harder than ever. If I had to guess, I'd imagine it's the kids being sick for two weeks that did me in. No sleep coupled with lots of worry over fevers, tummy aches and these awful barky coughs left me feeling totally depleted.
Thinking about our future has also been a stressor. I'm trying not to worry about what is to come for our family, but not being sure is something that's hard for me.
And on top of all that, I've been suffering (since August) low back pain. So I've been juggling more and more frequent OB visits with trips to the chiropractor & massage therapist.
Oh and also, in case my overall mood wasn't in jeopardy beforehand, winter has arrived here in the northwest. The wind, cold & rain have seeped into my bones and the bareness of the trees seems to match my somber outlook.
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Luckily the kids have been better sports about the weather, finding the rain to be a delightful challenge. Like at the Veteran's Day parade where we were all thoroughly soaked.
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One good thing about winter's arrival is that Dashy is here! Our sweet little Elf on the Shelf has arrived and is up to his usual, hilarious, antics. Here he's reading a board book to himself and one Carly's baby rattles in her bassinet.
I've been ready for a break from homeschool since November ended. We pushed straight through Thanksgiving break, schooling everyday, so we can take extra time off when Carly is born. I'm very ready for the two weeks off we'll get for Christmas!
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| {30 Weeks #gohawks} |
I am now over 8 months pregnant. I realized about a week ago that a baby is coming. Ha!
But seriously, after the miscarriages, I think my hope/belief in my body sort of shut off and it's just now warming back up. I think this pregnancy will very likely result in a baby in my arms. It's equal parts terrifying and exciting.
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| {The view from up here... No more feet...} |
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| {Hard to see, but that's my MAMA bear necklace. I LOVE it!} |
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| {32 weeks} |
My belly has popped and looks like a (giant) basketball shoved under my shirt.
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| 'tis the season to be pregnant |
We've decided on a name, as I shared earlier.
Carly May Cunningham
I've referred to her as my rainbow baby (a term that refers to a baby that follows the "storm" of miscarriage) and my sister recently said that May (her middle name) could have two meanings-- The one that I had thought of (and named her for) is my due date for the first miscarriage. But Roxanne told me she also thought of: "April showers bring May flowers". I absolutely love it, and it makes me love her name even more.
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| {Apron Baby!} |
Josh wants to call her CeCe, since her first and last initials are both C. I think this is adorable. I'm glad I'm finding more reasons to fall in love with her name because of all my kids, her name is the one I've been most unsure about. I don't know if it's because she's my first girl, or I realize how much a name comes to shape the child, but I feel so under qualified to name another human this time around!
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Despite feeling overwhelmed by Christmas & all there is to get done, I have managed to make a shopping list (and cross quite a few things off it) as well as create, order and mail our Christmas cards. Complete with a Christmas letter this year!
I've also managed to make a Christmas Playlist on my phone and have been exposing my kids to all the Amy Grant & Mariah Carey Christmas songs they can stand, as well as their dad's favorite, The Trans-Siberian Orchestra.
My current (and perhaps all time) favorites are:
-Breath of Heaven (Mary's Song) by Amy Grant
-All I Want For Christmas is You by Mariah Carey
-Christmas Canon by the Trans-Siberian Orchestra
In the next two weeks, I'd like to up our craftiness and find a few Pinterest-y things to do (preferably with a lot of glitter) to get us all in a festive mood and decorate our rooms for the holidays.
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I also took one evening and sorted through my stacks of books on my nightstand and started compiling a list of ideas for New Years Resolutions. One of mine is to be a better mom. I think many of these books will be helpful in achieving that goal. Particularly
Boys Should Be Boys and
Peaceful Parent, Happy Siblings. Although I think
Mindsight and
Better Than Before will offer helpful insights as well.
I'm excited to set some goals for the new year, and to tackle all these unread books!
Currently I'm reading
The Power of Now with my book club, and while it is intense, I find that the further I read, the more it's clicking in my brain.
I also just read Elin Hildebrand's Christmas novels,
Winter Street and
Winter Stroll. They were so much fun to read and really put me in a Christmas spirit.
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Looking at all I've accomplished during the first two weeks of this month, I feel a little better about December than when I started this post. So that's good!
But I have to say that lately even the kids have seemed a bit melancholy at times. Between missing their dad, missing our house & Christmas decorations and being sick, it's been a rough few weeks. I am hopeful that Josh's arrival home (in a week!) will liven our spirits and help us feel like ourselves again!
Meanwhile, I am hoping to take this bit of Instagram inspiration:
"do small things with GREAT LOVE"
& make this next week a great one.
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And to close, I'll leave you with some funnies,
because what are kids good for if not a good laugh?
Yesterday Wyatt told me my belly is jumpy.
Then he boinged his hand off it and said, "See? It's all bouncy!"
While walking into the mall from the parking lot, Logan asked me if we were "jail walking". I cracked up. And I didn't correct him because, well, that's adorable.
And for some reason last night, when Logan called Jack a "mangy butt" and then asked me what "mangy" meant, I could not.stop.laughing.
:)
