Showing posts with label eastern Washington. Show all posts
Showing posts with label eastern Washington. Show all posts

2.23.2018

Around Here: Week Eight {2018}

(Carly's meatball machine)

(tumbleweeds that blew in our garage)




 







(Talking to my mom like a big girl)



(Jack's socks...like on the daily)

Pouring... myself into motherhood as I nursed two very sick kids to health over the last week.  First Logan, then Wyatt came down with terrible sore throats and other symptoms.  Wyatt's symptoms also included headaches and vomiting, whereas Logan suffered super high fevers. Wyatt ended up with an ear infection in addition to whatever was causing his sore throat and missed school all week.  We are all exhausted and ready for him (and Logan) to be fully well.  The nice thing is that Josh was around a lot thanks to Presidents Day weekend and was cheering me on.

Making... homemade chicken and dumplings (from scratch) for the kids this week in hopes it would help them feel better.  I made a huge batch and we've all been eating leftovers for days.  They loved it, and I'm so glad to have the recipe, which was handed down to me from my mom.  (Thanks mom!)  I was chatting with her as I made it, and Carly was so cute, talking to her (she was on speaker phone) and sitting at the bar like a big girl.  She cracks me up so much these days!

Finding... about 100 pictures of my mom on my phone after the twins facetimed with her this weekend.  They sure love their Nanny!  Thanks for always making time for them, mom!

Grateful... Logan's medicine is now controlling his seizures and his antibiotics seem to be taking care of his sore throat (that we're pretty sure was strep throat), so he is on the road to recovery and even went back to school Thursday & Friday this week.

Freezing... with lots of wind, but no more snow this week.  It has been super cold, which means lots of bundling up for Jack, who is the only one who attended school all week.  I'm glad we enjoyed the snow when we had it!

Laughing... last weekend when Jack had the big garage door open and three huge tumbleweeds blew right in.  I'm still not used to tumbleweeds being part of my everyday life.  Growing up the only time I saw tumbleweeds was on morning cartoons! Now they regularly roll into my car as I'm driving, or my garage if it's a windy day.

Working... on my puzzle a lot this weekend as we were all homebound with Logan sick and Josh out of town.  It's a beautiful puzzle, and I enjoy working on it, but if I leave it out for too long, Carly and the cats take it apart.  (George will pull pieces out with his teeth!) So before I go to bed at night I have to cover it up with books or board games so they don't play with the pieces when I'm asleep!

Thankful... for good friends who checked on us (Barb! Leah! Amanda! Thank you!) and sent us food (Kori!) to get us through the weekend while Josh was away and I was caring for sick littles.  My village is amazing, I tell ya!

Participating... in an address-based census reading that lasted two weeks and required a LOT of specific note-taking on my part about where we spent money over the last fourteen days.  It ended yesterday and I'm so glad.  What a pain in the rear!  Especially the weekly grocery shopping trips!

Being... at my best during this hard time of parenting.  It's funny how the hardest things can sometimes bring out the best in us.  It was nice to end these last few days feeling awesome about myself, not doubting myself as is often the case.

Finishing... Happier at Home and Purple Hibiscus while the kids were sick last weekend.  Happier at Home has been somewhat inspiring but nowhere near the level of The Happiness Project.  Purple Hibiscus was an entertaining book (that's the wrong word... but I can't think of a better one), but it ended quite darkly and was kind of a downer, honestly.

Reading... instead of sleeping.  I started The Great Alone after my mom sent it to me last week and I have not been able to put it down. It's so good.  It's about a family who moves to Alaska and it is bringing me back to the five years we spent in rural Alaska as a family.  It's been a fun time reminiscing.  It makes me want to write a book about our adventure there!
I'm also listening to The Wisdom of Sundays, which is so good. I just love Oprah.  It's offering me so many insights, like this nugget: anxiety & depression are caused when we believe our thoughts. So much food for thought!

Focusing... on the present moment, and trying to stay in it, no matter what emotion it is currently eliciting.  For instance, this morning, the neurologists office called me back to discuss Logan's one year check up for his seizures.  The appointment is in May and I was wondering if they wanted an EEG since his seizures have changed from grand mal seizures to petit mal seizures.  I would like to have one to see if we can figure out why/how they have changed. 
The nurse got right back to me and said the doctor agreed that it would be prudent to have another EEG and that the team would be getting back with me shortly to schedule the EEG and follow up appointment.  Once we hung up, I jumped in the shower and promptly burst into tears. 
Is it the end of the world that Logan has epilepsy? No.  Is it the end of the world that his seizures are changing? Or that we've had to increase his dose twice this year? No.  But sometimes, the weight of all his medical issues is heavy.  And it hurts my heart.  And worries my mind.  And I wish it didn't exist for him.  And for me.  So I let it all out.  I cried.  And I prayed.  And I cried some more.  And then I felt better.  Because in that moment I had been sad, so I had cried. 
In the next moment, I had a nine year old who was just like any other nine year old, fighting with his brother while he unloaded the dishwasher, me threatening to ground him as I pulled on yesterday's jeans and wondered how we were going to make it to drop off on time.  And that's how staying in the moment works.  You take life as it comes.  If you stay in "right now", you really can handle just about anything that comes your way.  I'm not perfect at it, but each day it's getting easier.

Loving... so much Carly's little personality.  She answers the TV when she watches Team Umizoomi.  She plays so intently with her little toys (this week she was using her cooking toys to make a "meatball machine") and she says "sorry" to her animals when she drops them.  I am loving her post-nap snuggles (she finally quit waking up angry. woo hoo! praise the lord!) I can see, now that the twins are nine and Wyatt is six, just how fleeting this time with Carly really, truly is.  So I am working hard to cherish it.  I am also working hard to cherish bedtime with the boys.  Because the time with them is fleeting just the same. So I am taking the time to tuck them in, listen to their little stories, their worries, their prayers and their hearts because I know if they share the little things now that they will share the big things later.  It's so good for all our souls.

Accepting... (with deep resignation) that one of every two pair of socks the twins owns has a hole in it.  And they will never (ever) throw them away on their own. Ever.  Why is that?!?  These are the mysteries of life people. Seriously.  It's ridiculous. I think I have had Jack throw away at least one sock a day for the last week. We keep all the mates and are just wearing mismatched socks because at this rate we are going to go broke buying new socks.
In all seriousness, though, mamas.  What socks do you buy? Is there some amazing sock brand that can withstand the wear and tear of a set of rough & tumble twins? Or should I just give up and let them wear the holey socks? The thing is, I just don't think I can. It is driving me bonkers!

Adoring... Wyatt's constant amazement at life.  This morning after we dropped the twins off at school he opened the sunroof cover (just the ceiling part, not the actual sun roof) in the car, and saw the fern frost that had collected on the glass above our heads and was completely mesmerized.  Yesterday he asked me how long numbers went on, and when I told him they went on forever, he thought about it for a while, and then responded, "Wow, really? Cool."  Then at bedtime when I said, "I love you one hundred thousand." He responded, "I love you forever. Actually. I love you as long as numbers go."  He's always thinking, taking in the world around him, and it's so fun to see the world through his perspective.  He's just my favorite.

Feeling... ready for summer.  Is that ridiculous to say? I am so tired of being cold.  And having sick kids.  And being cold.  And talking about gloves.  And being cold.  And having the kids in the house all the time. And being cold. Did I mention I am tired of being cold? Hah!

***

8.31.2016

Leaving Rural Alaska

Josh packed for days and days and days on end.

Our Sleep Number bed, all packed up

The boys' room

Our room
Our bathroom
Our living room





Our dining room

Books for days...
from both Josh's classroom,
and our personal collection.



Our kitchen
The boys' playroom
Marshall, Alaska
The old airport & rock quarry to the left;
The village in the mid-upper left;
The road to the new airport running horizontally across the mid-upper right.
(Photo courtesy of Josh's old coworker)
Picking up Josh for the last time at the airport.
What a relief to be done with that!
And then the boxes started showing up in Washington!

---------------------

Our time in rural Alaska ended in the spring.  Our house there was left empty, our boxes (24 in total) shipped to us.  Josh beat them home by many weeks.  I have wanted to write this post for a while now, but I can't really put into words what our time in Alaska did for us.  It grew us and changed us in irreversible ways.  It was good and hard and wonderful and horrible.  I suffered debilitating anxiety & depression plus two miscarriages while living on the tundra, but I also rejoiced in being a stay-at-home mom, living in a brand new, beautiful house that I got to turn into a home, and was blessed to homeschool our twins for three years while we were there.  I met and loved and cherished more people than I can count from our time in Marshall, people that will forever be etched on our hearts.  Its confusing to say that some of our family's best times were spent in that village, and then in the same breath to say that it was time for us to leave that place, but that's how life is.

Our boys were ready for more, and our family was too.

We will forever look back on our time there fondly.  Attending Saturday Social every weekend, watching our three blue eyed boys play with a gym full of beautiful brown eyed children whom we had grown to love like our own; cozy Saturday nights spent watching movies with our boys, enjoying pizza Josh made from scratch; Friday night date nights, the boys tucked in their beds, Josh and I together on the couch relishing the quiet... So much family bonding, adventuring and learning.  It feels as if it were all a dream.  Kind of a far away time that has taken on a fuzzy quality.

How did we do it? How did we pack and travel and live like that? How did we manage without a hospital or grocery store? I don't know... but we did.  Somehow that way of life became normal and comfortable.  And I am forever indebted to the way we lived there.  Because now? Now I am grateful for the most trivial things: Consistent internet.  Sour cream.  Fresh fruit.  Walking the aisles of the grocery store.  I am grateful also for our backyard more than ever because of our time spent stuck within the four walls of our home in rural Alaska.  My friend Peter said that the best way to become grateful was to experience periods of deprivation followed by periods of abundance... I find this to be incredibly true. Both in terms of things (mainly food), and in terms of people (ie Josh).  I'm so happy to be living with him again after our year apart.  The small things, like him making the bed so I don't have to, or hugging me after a long day with the kids, bring gigantic bursts of joy, whereas before I don't know if they would have even registered.

When we were making the decision to leave Alaska, it was gut wrenching.  We felt confused and emotional and unsure.  The way I know that we made the right decision is that I am totally okay with being normal, cliche, boring now.  I don't care that we bought a house in a subdivision with a good school and that we plan on putting the boys in baseball and boy scouts.  I don't care that I'm a stereotypical stay-at-home mom who drives a minivan and makes cookies  for an after-school snack.  Settling into this new normal feels right.  I don't miss the adventure, the exoticness of that life.  It was a beautiful chapter for our family, one I will remember fondly, but it's a chapter that has closed.  And this new chapter? It's going to be just as great.

***

8.03.2016

One Door Closes

We had chinese food at Sunday dinner two weeks ago, and Jack's fortune said, "When one door closes, another one opens."  So my mom and I were explaining to him what that means.  Honestly, it couldn't have been more timely.

This week, a door is closing.  After fifteen months in Vancouver, surrounded by friends & family, we are moving.  After four years of homeschooling, we are putting the boys in public school.  After five years in a tiny village with not so much as a grocery store, we're moving to a city with a hospital and movie theater.  After a year of living apart from Josh, we will now be living together.  

Things are changing.  

By the end of this month, another door will open.  We will be homeowners living in our very own house.  Our boys will be off to school for the very first time.  I will get to live with my little family in a city that will become our home.  And we will all be together.

I am so excited for all the new things... but I am also very sad for all that we are leaving behind.  My mom. My sister.  The boys' grandma and cousins... 

For the fall I am looking forward to family meals, a new routine and the chance to fix up our house.

 It's a big balancing act-- feeling those sad feelings and at the same time being able to look forward to our bright future.

I guess I'll just take it one emotion at a time.

***

7.15.2016

Best for them...



We've decided that this fall we will be enrolling all three Cunningham boys in public school.  This is a hard fought decision, made with much prayer and thought, and a huge pro/con list.  But what it boils down to is they're ready for it.  The bummer is, I'm not.  I'm not ready to have three kids in school.  I'm not ready for our days to be spent apart.  But it's not about me.  It's about them.

So I am going to take a deep breath and let go.  I'm going to let go because Logan & Jack are ready for recess and friendship and cafeteria lunch.  I'm going to let go because Wyatt is ready for choice time and calendar and following his kindergarten teachers' rules.  I'm going to let go not because it's easiest for me, but because it's best for them.

This winter when Carly joined our family, homeschooling became very challenging.  Nearly impossible.  I found I had lost my zeal for teaching and my patience.  Being a nice "teacher" made it very difficult to be a nice "mom".  It zapped my energy and left me feeling empty.  My desire in homeschooling was to make it a positive, loving, fulfilling learning environment, and if I'm being honest (which I strive to do here in this space) it wasn't anymore.

I (obviously) reserve the right to go back to homeschooling at any point, because it is something that worked for us and we had some great times together, but I am moving towards fall ever hopeful that the boys will grow and learn and be challenged, and that I can continue letting go, because that's what's best for them.

***

5.13.2016

Next Year...

Our family is off to eastern Washington where Josh accepted a 4th grade teaching position.  We are thrilled to be in Washington state, within driving distance of family, and so grateful for the next chapter of our lives to begin.