Around Here: Week 42 {2018}

{How is she even real?!?}

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Spending... Saturday morning by myself as Josh took all four kids out to the land to visit his parents while they were in town. It was a lovely (much needed) break after a week of not being able to work out because of my silly broken toe!  (It's amazing how much working out releases my pent up stress and makes me a better parent!)
I spent my break time journaling and reading and enjoying the quiet.  It was crazy-windy that morning and we actually ended up losing power for the entire day (from about 10am until 5pm), which forced us all to slow down and relax for the day.

Celebrating... Halloween a little early with a fun fair in Wenatchee with my sister and her kids.  The kids wore their costumes (all except Jack, who seemed shy/embarrassed about wearing his, I'm not sure why) and played games to earn candy.  The weather was gorgeous and it was a really fun way to spend the day.

Making... apple crisp for the first time (ever) with Samuel since Uncle Paul and Aunt Lynne brought us bags and bags of fresh apples.  The crisp was crazy-good and the kids loved it.  Up next is a batch of apple cake with caramel frosting for my beloved husband, and maybe some apple muffins for the kids. Yum!

Thankful... that everyone was healthy this week!  All the kids have gone to school each day, and Josh and I have been healthy as well.  It feels like such a sweet blessing and one that I do not take for granted!

Riding... bikes to school this week since walking is out of the question.  Josh fixed up my bike and Wyatt's (we had flat tires) so that we can ride!  He hooked up Carly's bike trailer and I bundle her up each morning, and off we go!  She loves it, as do Wyatt and I.  My thighs burn for most of the ride (#truth ha!) but I feel like a kid again riding a bike, and riding doesn't hurt my broken toe at all!  It's also nice because the mornings are cold here now (between 28 and 35 degrees) and riding is much quicker than walking! (P.S.- thanks for the bike, mom & dad!!!)

Weighing... down another pound at 165, meaning I have lost 35 pounds now since January.  I am so darn proud of myself for eating so healthy and continuing to lose this week despite the small setback of my toe. I am hoping to lose another pound so that I will have lost 36 pounds by my 36th birthday (November 18th), but at this rate, I may even lose closer to 40 pounds by then.  Woot woot!

Loving... the feeling of the house after dinner is done and the kids are in bed and the house is tidied for the night.  I've been lighting candles lately, and there's something about a clean table and a lit candle that just satisfies my soul.

Reading... and finishing An American Marriage on audio, which I wasn't sure about at first, but which I loved by the end.  I also finished listening to Hillbilly Elegy, which was absolutely fascinating. I didn't want to turn it off each time I listened. I finished reading my Book of the Month book, A Mother's Reckoning, which was, of course, a sad read (it's written by the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the shooters at Columbine High School) but it was also insightful and illuminating about brain illness and taught me a lot about depression and suicide awareness and was just a really fascinating read.  I highly recommend it.
So now I am listening to Love Does by Bob Goff, which was our book club book a few months ago, which I missed reading thanks to #life, and I am reading Grace (Eventually) by Anne Lamott, whom I love (!). I am like five pages in, and already I'm underlining stuff.  Ha!  Our next book club read is The Prince of Tides, which is coming from Amazon, so as soon as that gets here, it will take precedence and I'll get reading!
I am super excited because I have already read (and listened to) 8 books altogether this month, thanks to my social media break, and I have almost hit my 60 book goal for the year, and I've still got ten weeks left in the year! I'm thinking I might add (at least) another 10 books onto my goal, making it 70 for the year.  Heck! I wonder if I could read 80!!! (I really am SUCH a nerd! Hahah!)

Savoring... the slow life.  Compared to how we ended last year, this year is so simple, and I am loving it.  At the end of last year, I was watching some friends kids a few days a week after school; the boys were in baseball; and I was working for VIPkid, waking up at 3:30am many mornings a week.  Now, there is none of that. It's just me doing the kids, and Josh going to work.  In the last two months, I feel like I have been able to catch up on the house, myself (mentally & physically) and really embrace my role as homemaker.  I am so happy, and feel so light and free.  It's the best feeling ever.  I wouldn't trade it for anything.

"We're a culture of people

who've bought into the idea

that if we stay busy enough

the truth of our lives won't

catch up with us."

-Brene Brown

I love this quote.  I wrote it in my journal a few months ago.  The more often I see it there, the more truth I find in it.  As I have slowed down, stepping away from busyness, away from social media (this month, anyway), and away from constant motion, I have discovered the truth of my life, which is that this is it.  This day, this regular, blue sky Friday, with Carly playing Legos on the living room rug, is my life.  And I don't want to take a single second of it for granted.  So no matter what's going on- if Wyatt's having asthma, if I have broken my stupid toe walking down the hallway- I want to spend my days finding joy. Choosing joy.  Manifesting joy.  Even amongst the mess.  I hope you all can go forth & do the same!

***

April Slow Down

 "The good life is always the life of now.

The only moment is the present moment.  

I need only pause long enough to drink it in."

-Katrina Kenison

For the month of April, I've been feeling a pull to slow down.  Maybe it's because April started with our family on Spring Break, or maybe it's because I have been all go/no quit since January with super intense goals, but whatever the reason, I am desiring some quiet time.  Some time to be still.  Some time to live in the moment, and not in my "to do" list.

 Over Spring Break, I took a hike with my boys (just the twins) plus my sister, nephew & dad.  They were all ahead of me for most of the trip.  I've packed on some extra pounds over winter and haven't been as active as I normally am, so the hike was slow going for me in some parts.

But despite being at the end of the pack, I enjoyed every single step.

As I hiked along, listening to my boys giggle with their cousin, I couldn't help but think that the hike was like life.  Compared to others, I may be "falling behind" (not having the right car, house or clothes, or having a cool enough blog, Facebook, or Instagram account)... but as long as I'm enjoying the journey (and I am. I am so happy right now with our life--) it shouldn't matter if other people are ahead or behind me.  All that matters are my steps.

"Strive for a meaningful life, 

not a prestigious one." 

-Katrina Kenison

So for April, I am trying to enjoy more moments being present. Instead of scrolling Instagram while I bathe the kids, I am going to play with them. Feel the water on my hands.  Watch the bubbles pop in Carly's hands.  Instead of listening to a book on tape while I walk home from dropping the kids at school, I am going to breathe and listen to the birds.  It's taking some adjusting, but I like it.  I like the idea of being where I am. And it certainly helps keep me from getting anxious about the future.  I'm too busy living in today to worry about tomorrow.

"This time of all of us living together under one roof
is really just a single chapter in our family narrative."
-Katrina Kenison

Those handprints on the sliding glass door? They won't be there forever.

Everyone says that these days, with my four kids at home under one roof, are going to fly by.  I can see it. The way Jack stands sometimes, or the way Logan looks at me-- I can see their teenage selves just under the surface of their elementary selves.  Time is a freight train.  And if I'm not careful, it's going to run me over.

I don't want to be undone by the passing of days, but I also don't want to look back on these days and discover I wasn't here for them.  That I wasn't paying attention.  So for the next three weeks I'm going to do my best to really be here.  To breathe in the sights and smells of life right now, as it's happening.

"It's learning to take the moment that comes 

and make the best of it, 

without any idea of what's going to happen next."

-Katrina Kenison

I'm reading (slowly and adoringly) The Gift of an Ordinary Day by Katrina Kenison and she talks a lot about trying to minimize the chaos and embrace today.  She says that ordinary gets a bad rap and asks the tough question:

What gets lost in our relentless push 

to achieve, have and do more?

 I personally lose moments with my children.  I lose the ability to be in the moment (whatever I'm doing).  And I lose the freedom of letting life lead me where it wants.

"I am seeking a way to live more attentively, 
with a pause in each day to be still and know the taste of quiet."
-Katrina Kenison

***

Around Here: Week 14

Starting & ending... Spring break.  We squeezed a ton of fun into one short week.  I'm exhausted! We road tripped to see both sets of grandparents, as well as aunts & cousins; visited my grandparents at the beach; hiked to Pool of the Winds with my dad; celebrated my sweet baby cousins' gender reveal (it's a BOY!); snuck in lunch with my soul sister Brittany; shopped till we dropped with my mom & Carly; then road tripped back home where I've been dealing with sick kids, visiting our new grocery store, and doing load after ever-living load of laundry from our trip (even though I did laundry while we stayed with my mom).  Today I washed, folded and put away seven loads. I also vacuumed the van (what a satisfying job that was!) and took the best nap of my life while Carly slept this afternoon.  All in all, I'd say a lovely spring break!

Wanting... to slow down. To spend less time on social media or other goals, and really just spend time "being" and have that be enough. I played around with the idea today, and I spent so much more time delighting in my children, enjoying the moment I was in, and not rushing. I can't wait to give it a go again tomorrow.

Feeling inspired... after reading this from Glennon:
"One day is today.  Don't wait.  A woman doesn't actually need a room of her own, but she does need an hour of her own.  An hour during which she steps outside of her roles so she can remember her soul.  An hour in which she's serving nobody but her own potential."  Even though I'm desiring (very much) to slow down and quit "keeping up with the Joneses", I still want to be me. Part of being a mom, I fear, is the risk of losing myself.  So I want to make a conscious effort to spend some time reading, blogging & journaling in an effort to discover myself again.

Laughing... at these mom jokes.
1) "Mothers are basically part of a scientific experiment to prove that sleep is not a crucial part of human life."

2)

I was telling Logan that I was tired cause last night with Carly was brutal and he stopped in his tracks, turned to me and said, "Aren't they all?"

Watching... as Josh and his brother and our nephew erect a new (to us) play set in the backyard. The boys are overjoyed, perhaps Wyatt most of all, that we're going to have a new place to play.  So am I!

Reading... The Gift of an Ordinary Day, which is having a very positive effect on my parenting and my patience.  I can see from reading her words how quickly this time with all four of my beautiful kids under my roof flies by, and I don't want to miss a moment.
I also started both Present over Perfect (on kindle on my phone) and Uninvited, which, so far, seem to be along the same themes.  God is good that way-- when he wants to reach me with a message, He doesn't go with subtlety.
In April I really want to finish The Lies We Believe and read Women, Food and God again, as well as dive into the Dave Ramsey book we have and get our finances exactly where I want them.

Enjoying... Carly as she is suddenly talking and signing more.
She says:
Bark Bark (at any dogs she sees)
Meow (when she hears our cats meow)
More
Bubba (what we call stuffed animals)
All Done
Thank You

She signs:
all done
more
mommy
water
please
bye
thank you
fish
kitty
ball
shoes
eat

Listening... to Hello and Stay with Me with the boys in the car, and laughing as they sing their hearts out and make up dance moves. Mostly, there's a lot of dabbing.

Taking... Logan in for his MRI. I'll be blogging more about it later, but he did an amazing job (he's so brave) and made me so proud of him, yet again.  It'll be a while before we hear the results, but I'm glad to have had it done.
In other Logan news, his side effects from his medications seem to be fading. He hasn't complained once all spring break about feeling dizzy or headachy, so my hope is that his body has adjusted and when he heads back to school we will have zero issues. Thank you so much for your prayers on this.

Meditating on...

 "A mother's part in sustaining the life of her children and making it pleasant and comfortable is no triviality.  It calls for self-sacrifice and humility, but it is the route, as was the humiliation of Jesus, to glory." -Elisabeth Elliot

(Seriously, follow old.paths on instagram. so much inspiration)

And also... this from Ann Voskamp's post:

"How did you give thanks today?

And how did you live given?"

Just reading those questions makes me want to die to self a little more. 

Especially in my mothering.

***