Week 36 Around Here {2019}

(Logan, Adam's son Brent, and Jack)

The whole gang

Carly LOVED Nate's sweet dog Gabby

Hearing... someone say there are 12 weeks left this year and that's a great amount of time in which to start a new habit, to help you go into the new year with some of your goals already in motion.  I really like that idea!

Taking... the kids to Silverwood Theme Park on Saturday with the tickets they earned after reading over 600 minutes each last spring.  The weather was hot and it was crowded, but we made the best of the day anyway and had loads of fun.  Carly was, hands down, the most enthusiastic.  She was also sure she could go on every ride (even Panic Plunge) and was so sad whenever we told her no. (Sister is FEARLESS!) The boys fought over who got to take her on her rides, which warmed my mama heart to no end.  They're so good to her.
Logan, like Carly, is fearless, whereas Jack is more cautious.  Wyatt, like his mother, will get on a ride and then, as it's going, second guess whether that was a good idea or not.  Hah!  Luckily on nearly every ride he had Josh with him to talk him down and remind him to have fun.

Sticking... close to home Sunday after canceling our lake plans.  Josh wasn't feeling well (at all! poor guy!) so I worked on unpacking bit by bit while keeping track of the kids and checking on him periodically.  I got the towels unpacked and the linen closet organized while Josh slept.  I was super proud of myself when I built Carly's new scooter all by myself (!) so she could ride with her brothers.  Normally I reserve those kinds of jobs for Josh.

Listening... to The Last Romantics on Overdrive and really enjoying the storytelling.  Sometimes I feel like listening to a story is cheating (like it shouldn't count as reading) but lately I've been noticing how much I really enjoy my time when I am listening to a good story, and I have decided to do away with the guilt of not "reading" it, and just luxuriate in the deliciousness of a well told tale.

Reading... Eden's Outcasts for book club and struggling to get into it a bit. It's been hard to have a long stretch of time to really dig my teeth in.  Luckily we extended this one into next month, so I have a little more time to get there.  The book is about Louisa May Alcott and her dad, so the content is interesting to me... it's just not a page turner necessarily.

Praying... for my goddaughter Ilya whose aunt passed away after a tubing accident on the river.  It's a devastating loss for her personally (and her whole family), but also for their community where her aunt was so beloved.

Spending... Memorial Day at Josh's cousin Nate's house.  Nate and his wife Dunette have two kiddos and they invited Josh and Nate's other cousin Adam and his wife and their eight kids over as well, and we had the most fun catching up and letting the kids all play together.  Adam's kids and ours look SO much alike it's eery, and I love talking to Dunnette because she's so super real about motherhood. It was a great way to close out the summer, spending time with family.  Thanks again for hosting, guys.  It was so fun!!!

Getting... a phone call asking me if I had a cat.  I said, "Yeeees...." sort of slowly as Les, my "neighbor" (over two blocks away) explained that his wife had been looking out their back window when she saw a cat in their koi pond drowning and ran out to save it.
Turns out our boy cat George had gotten out when Logan was taking the garbage out that morning and had somehow made his way from our house to Les's house, two blocks (and then some) over and gone fishing in his koi pond, not bothering to determine how he'd get out after he caught the fish.  I rushed over to their house and found a soaking wet, very sad George in the grass on their side yard.  I brought him home, rinsed him off in our extra deep kitchen sink, feeling grateful for the sprayer this faucet has and rubbed him dry in a clean towel.  He definitely used one of his nine lives that time.

Enduring... total chaos everyday after school.  We are still in that "Sign All The Things/No Routine/Where Does Stuff Go?" part of school starting that comes when you have also moved the week school started.  It's ugly, people.  Add to that that the twins have started middle school (seven classes, each/fourteen total) and I am easily the most overwhelmed I have ever been at the start of school.
I keep wishing I could just video-montage my way through September and land somehow mid-October when all the papers are signed, all the routines are memorized and all the boxes are unpacked.  Instead I just keep plugging away, day after day, doing what I can on top of the regular daily life that often takes all my time.  (Dishes, feeding, laundry, cleaning... to name a few)

Loving... Jack's new loft bed that came on Tuesday!  Logan slept underneath Jack's desk, even though it's a loft bed and not a bunk bed since Logan's came a day later.  We are so happy with them.  They were my friend Shana's brain child and they have doubled the square footage in the boys' bedroom.  I can't wait to share pics of their finished room when we wrap it up next week!

Enjoying... how Carly plays with her new instruments with her stuffed animals.  A couple times this week I found her stuffed animals set up like a band, each with instruments to play, and whenever we go anywhere she wants to bring her music with her in her purse.  It's so cute!  Especially since Jack joined band and actually got a real trumpet and has to practice, so she's doing a lot of mimicking & practicing with him.  It's precious.

Finally... watching Season 3 of The Handmaid's Tale after being unable to watch all summer with the kids home.  I am riveted, wondering what is going to happen with June, Nicole and Aunt Lydia. Gah. It's all so consuming!

Also watching... "I Survived I Kissed Dating Goodbye" which was... well, I can't find the words for it...  It was validating, and sad, and proved in a way that what I felt was real.  (You can watch it free here) It confirmed that the Purity movement was not all it was cracked up to be and that many were hurt by it.  You can read Josh Harris' statement here- and I will admit that I did cry during the film when he apologized for any harm his book may have caused.  I personally was made to feel like an infatuated, over-the-top, boy-crazy harlot by the leaders of my church simply because I had a lot of crushes and wanted a boyfriend during a time when the church was encouraging us to give up dating, and to save not only sex for marriage, but also kissing and even handholding.  Looking back, I wish I could give 15 year old Shelly a hug and tell her what an amazing girl she was- how Godly and kind and good.  Instead I repeated the message in my head of "not enough" "not enough" "not enough"...  Especially when it came to holiness.  It makes me sad.
You can watch his TedTalk about admitting when we are wrong here.  It's so good.  It's been very healing to dive into this and explore some of these feelings that I had in my youth and that I still have today about how my religion shaped my sexuality.  It's all quite bizarre.

Organizing.... the house in some places while others remain in mass chaos.  For instance, I got the spice cupboard done this week, which is great for cooking; but I didn't get the desk done, which means it's pretty chaotic when I sit down to check my email or blog.

Sending... Carly off to Grandma School on Thursday, where she was overjoyed to work on her "ABC's and math". (That's what she told Logan she was going to do.)  Josh's mom has her for the whole day on Thursdays so I can have a day to myself, and I cannot even tell you what that day does for my mental well being.  Knowing I have an entire day to myself during the week, to do with whatever I please, is like being handed $1,000 every week.  It's priceless.  Plus, it's the highlight of Carly's week, too, so it's win/win!

Closing... out the week with some amazing pizza and a quiet Friday evening with my guys (Josh and his brother Samuel) which was just what I needed after a whirlwind of a week.  Here's hoping things settle down a little more for us next week.

***

Week 3 Around Here {2019}

Taking... Wyatt and the twins to birthday parties Saturday afternoon.  It was nice for them to have a chance to get out of the house for a while, and Josh picked them up, which was great.  While they were gone, I went on a walk with Carly, which wasn't necessarily what I wanted to do, but it was definitely what I needed to do.
The weather was beautiful, and we even met a super friendly kitty on the way home, which absolutely made Carly's day.

Putting... hardwood flooring down in our house. (It's actually composite click-lock flooring that looks like hard wood but is waterproof/kid proof. It's amazing!)  Josh and his brother Samuel worked their tails off this weekend moving furniture and laying flooring, getting our room, the boys' room and Carly's room finished, as well as half of the hallway. 
While the flooring looks awesome and is a dream come true, living in the mess with four kids in 1400 square feet in the middle of winter made for a bit of a long weekend for all of us. Ha!  We were all very glad when the furniture could make its way back into each room and life resumed normalcy.

Experiencing... some physical anxiety in the early parts of this week.  I think some of it was due to the chaos in our house with all the renovating, but a lot of it was due to anticipating Wyatt's tonsil and adenoid removal Friday.  None of our kids have ever had surgery, and with Wyatt's asthma, I was really nervous about him being put under.  Because of that, I made sure I worked out every day this week, and it made a huge impact. 

Putting... stickers on the calendar in the kitchen every day that I exercised this week.  I remember from when I read Better Than Before by Gretchen Rubin, that keeping track is often the best way to make a habit stick.  Plus I am like a kindergartner and love the positive feedback that little sticker gives me every time I get to put it on the calendar. Hah!

Giving... our boys the Love Language Test to see what their primary love languages are in an effort to improve my connections with them.  It was really interesting to see the results.  Logan prefers Quality Time & Receiving Gifts; Jack prefers Physical Touch & Quality Time; and Wyatt prefers Words of Affirmation & Quality Time. 
What struck me is that each of my kids desires TIME.  As a mom of four kids, time is not necessarily something I have a lot of! So I am going to have to get creative there.  The other ways they prefer to be shown love are really good to know as well.  I am hopeful that knowing these will improve our relationships moving forward.

Snuggling... Wyatt as much as possible leading up to his surgery. We spent a lot of time talking about his surgery, recovery and all the questions that he had.  He's such a little buddy, and I just soaked him up this week.

Reading... Troublemaker by Leah Remini.  I finished it, and gave it 5 stars.  I absolutely loved it.  (Go here to read more about my thoughts on her leaving the church)
I finished How To Walk Away during Wyatt's surgery, and I really enjoyed it. I would say it is a solid 4 star book, such a sweet read, with likable characters, and a compelling storyline (plane crash + following recovery).  The writing was beautiful and I liked the ending.
I have been reading one chapter each day of Girl, Wash Your Face, and I cannot stress enough how inspirational this book is. When I am all the way finished with it, I plan to sit down with my journal and write my thoughts about the things I have underlined in it.  So many gems in there.
When I finished listening to Troublemaker, I started listening to The Rainbow Comes & Goes, which is written by Gloria Vanderbilt and Anderson Cooper (and is read by them as well) and is really interesting to listen to.  I love memoirs and have found that I only like listening to audio books if they are thrillers or memoirs. So I am sticking to those genres this year, and reading books off my shelf the rest of the time.

Geeking... out that Katherine Center, the author of How To Walk Away, commented on my Instagram post about how I didn't want to clean my house, I wanted to lay on the couch instead and read her book.  I love how social media can connect us with people we would normally NEVER have contact with.  I think she is the third author to comment on my Instagram account, and it never fails to give me heart palpitations. #booknerdforever

Kon Mari'ing... the office & the boys' toys as I continue through the house in order to stay sane leading up to Wyatt's surgery at the end of this week.  The office was challenging, but really rewarding.  It feels so good to walk in there now and know that all the craft items I kept are things I really love and will use, and to know where everything is.
The boys' toys were another thing that were hard to sort.  But I made them do it, and they made a big dent in their stuff, plus we sorted them into "like" items, which makes them more likely to play with them. 

Crying... as we left the orthodontist office this week, as our orthodontist is the most amazing guy, and he is determined to help fix my kids' teeth, whatever the cost.  Putting the twins in braces will be expensive (as you can imagine) and they have some pretty severe issues, so when we were discussing the finances, he said that whatever needs to happen, he can help us out, he wants to help us out. He said that after all we have been through with Logan and his seizures in the last year, we could really use a win.
The rest of the day, I could not stop randomly bursting into tears. I mean, who does that? Who helps out like that? Who sees a need they can fill and just fills it? There are such amazing, good, kind, generous people in this world, and I am so blessed to be surrounded by them. It is humbling and beautiful.

Thankful... for friends who brighten my week.  Hanging with my girl Shana on Wednesdays is a definite bright spot in my week, and my friend Jen watched Carly for me Thursday so I could go to the dentist, and getting to visit with her at drop off and pick up put a huge smile on my face as well.  I love how every week God shows me why he moved me here, and that I belong here, in this village. 
I am also thankful for Uncle Samuel who showed up at our house Tuesday while the boys and I were in the throes of Kon Mari'ing their toys as Josh worked late, and made dinner as we sorted & organized.  It was no big deal, he said, but to me, it was a very big deal.

Celebrating... Carly being completely potty trained.  It took less than a week, and you guys, I seriously did nothing other than buy m&m's.  (I mean, the girl is seriously motivated by chocolate, but the truth is, she was just ready.)  She's so dang cute in her little underwear, and you can just tell, she is really proud of herself.

Grateful... my mom was able to come and stay for the long weekend to help with the other kids for Wyatt's surgery.  She has been helping around the house, taking Carly & the twins to run errands and go do fun things... it's been such a blessing.

Praying... as Wyatt went in for surgery to remove his tonsils & adenoids Friday morning.  He was so brave, he never shed a tear at the hospital, and thanks to all your prayers for peace, neither did I.  He did great during surgery, and the doctor was able to get both his tonsils & adenoids out easily.
But after his surgery, when he was coming off the anesthesia, whenever he would fall asleep, he would stop breathing.  His oxygen, which was 99 or 100 when he was awake, would drop rapidly- 97, 94, 87, 83, 79, 77, 72, 68, 65, 60... bottoming out at one point at 33%. 
Now to give you some perspective, when Wyatt was hospitalized with Status Asthmaticus in the PICU, in December 2017, his oxygen was 73 and that had the doctors in the ER freaking out. So 33 is unheard of. 
When this was happening, his entire body was completely still, heavy and unmoving, like he was dead, with no breath coming in and out of his lungs. It was absolutely terrifying.
As soon as we woke him up, he would begin to breathe again, and be fine.  But the second he fell asleep, his body would forget to breathe, and he would desaturate again.  I was freaking out.
His doctor came in and told us that this was his Central Sleep Apnea manifesting and being made worse by the anesthesia.  So it was just a waiting game.
Thankfully, as the anesthesia wore off, he was able to fall asleep and his oxygen would drop off only into the 80's.  By the time we were home and he was getting ready for bed, 9 hours later, he fell asleep and his oxygen didn't drop at all.  I cannot tell you what a relief that was to me. (And how grateful I was to have the oxygen meter I ordered last fall to better monitor his asthma!)
The recovery time should take about two weeks, with lots of ups & downs, I am told, so your continued prayers would be such a blessing to us.  Currently, I am just glad to have the surgery (and those scary not-breathing episodes) behind us and to be on the road to recovery.

On parenting... I read the following quote this week, after the terrible parenting week I had last week (where I was left feeling like a total failure on all accounts) and I like the idea that our mistakes are just ways to learn how to do better next time.  Maybe if I can remember this gentle advice from Brene, I will be less hard on myself.
I seem to think that parenting requires perfection.  And the more I think this, the more I screw up, because the pressure is so high. 

Maybe just loving my kids and doing my best is all I can do. 

And that is enough.

***

And for a little laugh:

I will fold my socks for you, Marie Kondo.

But I will not get rid of my books.

That's where I draw the line.

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