Our Family's Future

Since Josh got his job up north in Washington, we've taken two trips to scout out the area.  The first trip we took without the twins, leaving them in the care of their beloved grandma's who spoiled them rotten, I'm sure.  The second we took all together as a family, and even had my mom come along!

On our first trip, Josh got to meet some of the staff at his new school and we looked at rentals around the area.  We enjoyed pretending we only had two kids, and laughed about how many people still approached us, telling us how much Wyatt looks like Josh.  We thought people only did that because of the twins, but it turns out Wyatt is a pretty close mini-me for Josh, too.  

During that first trip we paid a visit to the cemetery where Josh's baby sister Margaret is buried.  Margaret died of SIDS when she was only two months old.  It seems every time we go, her passing hits Josh and I harder than the time before.  I don't know if it's having more babies, or simply the passage of time, but it makes us so mindful of what a blessing healthy children are.

During our second trip, which was much better both because my mom came and because I sat by the baby the whole way, we did some house hunting (first time home buyers! so exciting! so scary!) and took a little time to swim in the pool at the hotel.

We left having put an offer on a house, a sweet little first time home that will be perfect for our family.  Now we are praying that God is in all the details and it becomes a place where we can be together as a family come fall.  

Picturing that house helps me dry up the tears that are falling as I contemplate leaving Vancouver and all our loved ones again.  I'm grateful we're just a five hour drive away, but sure wish we were staying in town.  

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In Spring, Baseball is Life

{Practice with dad while he was home for a visit was the best!}

I've got all three boys playing baseball this season, and while I hesitated to sign Wyatt up, I'm glad I did.  It's been a struggle, and I spend a lot of the time in the dugout with him negotiating (read: bribing) so he will do what he's supposed to, but I think he's learned a lot and it was a great first place for him to practice a little independence.  He's on a t-ball team (with saints for coaches. Seriously, the most patient group of men I have ever come in contact with!) and the twins are on a coach-pitch team that is all about learning the game.  Last week Jack was the Player of the Week and this week Logan was the Player of the Week.  I am so proud of how far they've come (mostly in understanding the game, but also in hitting and catching) since fall ball.  They've made some good friends & so have I. (Hi Brittany!!!)  It makes our weekends fun, gets us out in the sunshine and helps those crazy kids of mine burn off some energy!

Struggling

Josh and I have spent every evening this week Face Timing and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of as he works to wrap up five years of living in Marshall.  That's right.  Our adventure in rural Alaska is over.  

Now we are on to the difficult tasks of: finding a job elsewhere and downsizing all our earthly belongings into the number of blue Rubbermaid totes we have in our laundry room in Marshall.  

Last night as we sat sorting through the boys' homeschool stuff, Josh in our dining room in Alaska, me in my in-law's upstairs office-turned-bedroom in Washington nursing Carly, I burst into tears.  This is hard.  It's hard being away from him.  It's hard "packing" while I'm not there.  It's hard to have someone else (even if it's your beloved husband) sort through things for you.  It's hard to make the decisions I'm having to make.  

But just when I was feeling really down about the whole thing, I thought how lucky I am, really, that I am here and he is there.  Because if I was there, I'd have been doing the sorting & packing all myself instead of holding our sweet baby daughter.  If I was there, we'd have to take into account what the kids and myself would need to use/play with for the next three months.  Since it's just Josh there, he can sort and sell and pack whatever he wants cause we're not there to need it.  These are the silver linings I'm clinging to.

I'm not the only one struggling and wishing for this school year to be over.  Last night Wyatt wandered into my room around 10pm, tears in his eyes, looking for a lap to climb into.  I shifted little sister to one side and hugged them both tight while we all cried a bit.  He's just "sad dad's not here" he says.  That's all.  And there's nothing I can do to fix it. So I hug him.  And I cry with him.  And I tell him that I agree... It stinks.

We're on the downhill slide-- he'll be home for a visit soon and then we only have two months more... but honestly it feels like it'll be forever till we're living together again.  And if it feels like forever to me... I can't imagine how it feels for Wyatt or his brothers.  

I guess I keep expecting it to hurt less, for me to miss him less, for it to suck less... but it doesn't.  I haven't gotten used to being without him.  I still hate it.  And that makes each day feel particularly long.

I'd appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement as we push through this last bit of time being apart.  Not knowing what the future holds for our family is stressful; and days like yesterday & today, being apart feels simply unbearable.  

Our Rooms: Before & After

Who doesn't love a good before & after? I know I do. And what a great way to start the new year-- feeling grateful for this space we have at Josh's parents house, and putting all my nesting tendencies to use!

When we first arrived at Josh's parents house, we were in the original two bedrooms we'd stayed in years before when Wyatt was a baby.  But this time, with homeschooling on our agenda, we knew we'd need a little bigger space, and thankfully Josh's parents agreed.  So we got to move into the bonus room (a large double size room that sits over the garage), and has an "office" (aka: our bedroom) right off it.

Our room was painted purple with sponge paint and had neither a closet nor dressers, so we set out to paint & purchase some Ikea furniture.  We also found a couch at Goodwill ($15! Steal!) and used the bookshelves that were in the bonus room when we moved in.

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Now our room is picture perfect and it makes me so happy.  Josh and his sister Julie painted it (since I'm pregnant and can't) and the color turned out perfect.  Sort of an ivory-pink that's really mellow.

For me, the best part of our room is the family pictures I had printed after our family session with Eryn Kesler.  They make me smile everyday!

{Umm, let's be honest, this collection of glitter vials also makes me smile, even though it's encroaching on my photograph wall. I had to put them up lest they be opened by little hands!}

I love Carly's basinet, her blankets & her bubbas.  I can't wait to put her in it!

{my dresser complete with the elephant hanger Logan made for Carly's headbands}

{Our printer/DVD player/calendar}

One of the things that was most fun to unpack from our storage unit was my collection of journals.  

 My life (age 10 & on) spans three shelves and makes me so happy to see after four years separated!  

It's been a work in progress to make this space work for us, but we've found a way that does and it's awesome.

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I have many more befores of the boys' room than I did of our room.  Their (giant) room had red walls and awesome sunlight, tons of space & bunk beds when we moved in.  

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Same as with our room, we repainted the walls a semi-neutral ivory/pink that really plays up the sunshine we get from those two huge windows, and gave the room a fresh look.

We also invested in a few pieces of furniture-- an entertainment center that we use as "homeschool central", two sets of Ikea shelves and a giant table we use for homeschooling. 

 We also hung some art that had been in storage.

 We used the second bookshelf (the first went into my room for journals) to store books, movies, puzzles & homeschool curriculum.

 Logan's bed

 Jack's bed

 Wyatt's bed

 The boys' beds, all in a row.  It felt silly to not use the bunk beds, but these Ikea beds were only $30 each at a resale shop.  Plus, knowing I was pregnant (and only going to be more so as time passed) I didn't want to have to change sheets or make bunk beds.  

My sister said their three beds in a row remind her of the kids' nursery in Peter Pan and that makes my heart swell.

This is my grandma's rocking chair, which lived at my mom's house until I swept in and "borrowed" it for the boys' room.  I occasionally rock Wyatt in it (which is now reaching a hilarious state-- me grabbing at his legs and butt to keep him from falling, and him clinging like a monkey around my neck) but mostly I use it for read aloud during school and at bedtime.  

The boys' dressers are well organized and serve as a place to put their music, alarm clock, kleenex & other supplies. 

 These Ikea shelves were money well spent.  We had the boxes in the storage unit, so it made sense to buy an organization system that used them.  The open squares are used for homeschool curriculum, books and a tablet charging station.  I'm super happy with how they've worked out.

 By the end of Logan's bed we have the boys' laundry & our vacuum, plus Carly's crate filled with cloth diapers.  I'm not 100% sure if we'll cloth diaper or not, but I'm ready if I do decide to.

And this is the view from the boys' half of the great room.  Our beloved homeschool table (that is used more than any other piece of furniture we own) and all the homeschool storage behind it.  

I am really happy with how the space turned out and am so thankful for a safe, beautiful place to stay while our baby grows.  Just a few more weeks and she'll be sharing these rooms with us!!!  We can't wait!