around here :: week 3 2020

All Day.
Every Day.
#momlife

{feels like 2!?!}

Reading... Anne of Green Gables (my book choice for book club!) and listening to Five Love Languages of Children and The Good Earth (another book club book that I just jumped into ahead of time).  Five Love Languages is giving me tons of good ideas for showing love to my many children, and The Good Earth is so much more engrossing than I had imagined.

Finishing... Gentle Ben with the boys who really enjoyed it.  It's about a boy who gets a pet brown bear and how his small Alaska town reacts.  I also finished Motherhood So White, which was an interesting read that made me think, but also frustrated me in some of its points.

Excited... to find a copy of a book I read over and over in elementary school at the Friends of the Library sale to read to my boys when it's my turn for read aloud again.  It was only .25! It's a ghost story called Wait Till Helen Comes and as I was researching what the old cover looks like, I discovered that a movie has been made, just in 2016. So now I want to see it!!
Recently I reread another childhood favorite, Goodnight Mr. Tom, and loved the experience, so I can't wait to reread this one as well.

Sending... Jack & Wyatt off to the land with Josh so I could focus on just caring for Logan on Saturday.  He did pretty well all day until late afternoon when I was in the shower.  He then suddenly came upstairs, out of breath from nonstop coughing.  I checked his oxygen with our oximeter (it was in the high 70's and low 80's- not good) and his breaths per minute were 40 (normal is between 12-20).  I threw on some yoga pants, got boots and a coat on Carly, called Josh and we headed out the door to the ER. 
At the ER Logan was diagnosed with some type of Influenza (the tests came back negative, but the doctor thinks the results were an error) and pneumonia.  He was placed on Tamiflu and an antibiotic.  We were luckily released relatively quickly and met Josh and the other kids back at home (he had picked Carly up at the ER on his way home) and were back in time for movie night with our crew. 

Dealing... with Jack getting sick as well on Sunday and staying home with Logan, Carly and I on Monday.  We are quite the crew.

Smiling... every time I see Ramona sleeping with Wyatt in his bed.  He adores the cats, who usually sleep in the twins' room, so having her sleep with him makes him so happy.  They look so cozy, all snuggled up together in his blankets. 

Taking... Carly to Grandma's and the twins to the doctor on Tuesday to have Logan rechecked after his ER visit and to have Jack checked as well.  When I dropped Carly at Grandma Carol's we saw bunny tracks in the snow, which was so cool! And she was thrilled to spend the day learning and playing with Grandma.  I was happy to take the twins to the doctor without an extra kid on hand.

Learning... that in addition to Logan's pneumonia, Jack has Influenza A and an ear infection, and Logan is slowly recovering from fever blisters in his mouth and pink eye.  (Jack & Wyatt at Influenza B back before Christmas break- and this is all WITH our flu vaccines! Very poor luck this year for us!)

Worrying... when Carly threw up for no good reason Wednesday morning, until I pieced together that I think it was from giving her the Tamiflu (as a preventative) on an empty stomach.  Last time I gave it to her right at meal time after she'd eaten. This time I waited and she had an empty tummy.  Apparently that was not ideal, as she vomited up every last drop of the medicine.
I'm so blessed, though because that girl knows she's supposed to puke in a bowl so she came all the way downstairs with her hand over her mouth, holding the puke in, to ask me for a bowl, before she would let it fly. Gosh, do I love that girl.

Napping... for two solid hours on Wednesday afternoon when my sore throat really hit with a full force and the sickness seemed to really settle in.  Thank goodness Carly is old enough to watch a screen and not get into mischief while hanging out with her big bros while I slept.  Boy did I feel better after that!

Driving... Carly to Grandma Carol's to spend the day Thursday again and feeling ever so grateful for that day off from parenting her when I am feeling so crummy.  It was lovely to rest, and sleep, and catch up on some blog posts, all without overdoing it.

Grateful... for friends who think of us when they are getting rid of their kids' things.  I have the BEST group of friends and none of them get rid of things without offering them to Carly. I swear. They always call.  "Does Carly need a coat? Snow pants?"  This week it was dress up clothes.  So Carly got home from Grandma's to see a cowgirl dress up outfit (including hat!!!) on her bed and was beyond thrilled!!  Thank you, Becky!!

Waking up... every morning to a Kleenex apocalypse in Logan & Jack's room, where they simply blow their noses and throw the tissue (BOMBS AWAY!) over the edge of their bunk beds toward the floor. Some mornings this week were quite impressive. G R O S S
(Thankfully they seem to be getting better.)

Tolerating... super cold temperatures this week, as it was only 2 degrees with wind chill one day! Brrr!!!

Taking... Wyatt late to school Friday because I let myself sleep in.  The twins are finally getting better, but now I am fully coming down with it and it's got me exhausted.  Old Shelly would have berated myself for letting him be late, giving no grace.  But New Shelly is full of mercy and patience and knows that I was doing the best I could, and that Wyatt being an hour late was not the end of the world.

Loving... watching Carly playing dolls.  She props their bottles, changes their diapers, and talks in the sweetest, highest voice to them.  It just melts me.  Having a girl has yet to get old.

Listening... to Jen Hatmaker reveal bits & pieces of her book to us this week (it's out in April) and her words from the chapter about our bodies??? UGLY TEARS.  It reads like poetry, and she ends like this:

"Her voice is the sound of home.  

You may hate her, but no one else does."

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For laughs:

{This had me DYING! Hahaha!}

{Maybe a little too accurate to be funny. I'm going on nine years next month...}

Around Here: Week 27 {2018}

Reading... The Book of Essie (and really wondering what is going to happen!) and listening to Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine (and wondering how she is going to turn out!).  I am really enjoying both.  I also wrote two blog posts this week about books: One is a mid-year check in for my 2018 reading goals; and the other is my June Books post with mini-reviews of the eight books I read last month.

Sleep training... Carly again after getting home from vacation where she slept in bed with us.  She has been having nightmares (in one there were bears that she accidentally set free when she touched their paws through the cages and when they escaped, they wanted to snuggle her.  Then they were in her crib.  By the time I got in her room, she was straddling her crib like it was a horse and screaming, "Get me outta here!"  It was totally traumatizing! In the other, a little girl was putting wasps on her eyes and she couldn't see because of them.), not wanting to go to sleep and not wanting us to shut her bedroom door.  Needless to say, there have been some sleepless nights and looong bedtime routines in the Cunningham household as of late, but I think we have finally turned a corner and she's back to falling asleep quickly, thank the Lord!

Enjoying... being job free.  I honestly had no idea how much stress my job was adding to my life until Josh told me I could quit.  And now, just being a mom, I feel like I won the lottery.  I am so much more carefree and less stressed about time and sleep and everything!  It's ridiculous! I am able to read bedtime stories and linger longer with the boys at bedtime to talk and have heart to hearts (my favorite) instead of rushing them to sleep so I can go to sleep so I can be awake at 4:00 in the morning.  We can all feel the difference.

Playing... in our backyard.  The weather has been far more mellow this year than usual, only in the low eighties, so we've been mostly hanging at the house, not heading to the pool, each afternoon.  The kids put the sprinkler under the trampoline and fill up water balloons, they have squirt gun fights and I set up a "water table" of sorts for Carly with camp wash basins.  I read while they play.  It rocks.  Tons of fun, but with all the comforts of home.  It's just the best.

Allowing... the boys (and even Carly) to make their own pizzas for movie night last weekend while Josh was out of town helping his parents work on their house to prepare it for sale so they can move here (!!!).  They had so much fun choosing what they wanted to make (I'll be doing a post with pictures soon) and I felt like a fantastic mom for saying "yes" to fun.

Solo-momming... it while Josh was out of town for a few days helping his parents.  I worked really hard before he left to make sure that I could be a fun mom while he was gone, and we ended up having a great time!  Each night one of the boys got to stay up late with me and watch a movie and have a special treat.  They also got to sleep with me in my room.  I love that they still like spending extra time with me, and I cherish those memories.

Helping... our in-laws with their land and their new "tiny house" as they are preparing to move here.  We're hopeful they'll be here full time before summer is over (I cannot WAIT to have grandparents in town!) and it's been so amazing to witness all the work they have done both to their old house, to their new land and to their new temporary "tiny house" that will be "home sweet home" while they wait for their dream house to be built.  Josh and his brother, along with their nephews and sister, spent the week helping his parents build the shop, seen above with the picture of Logan who fell in the pit while playing on the land when Grandma and I were at the laundromat doing load after load of laundry.  The shop is huge, and the work they're doing is monumental.  They are such hard workers!

Washing... all our laundry at the laundromat on Thursday this week when Josh volunteered to take the boys with him to the land so Carol (his mom) and I could take just Carly with us to get all the laundry done.  I have been without a washing machine for three weeks now and I am just about to lose my mind.  I told Josh that I am going to be so grateful to do laundry in my own house, whenever I want, once the washer is fixed!!!  In the meantime, I am so grateful for the laundromat, and also for our neighbors who let us do emergency loads there (at least three a week) when something pops up between visits to the laundromat.

Walking... everyday this week with the kids.  It's been so good for my body & soul to walk (it's nearly two miles) each day, and the kids seem to enjoy it as well.  I am more patient, more kind and have more energy when we go after breakfast each morning.  I walk, pushing Carly in her stroller, and the boys ride roller blades, scooters or bikes, circling back and always beating me home.  They're so speedy!

Witnessing & recording... Logan having a seizure last Sunday.  Apparently as it began he was able to say, "Get her!" to Wyatt who yelled to me that Logan was having a seizure. So I ran into the room and began videoing so I can show the seizure to his neurologist who hopes to be better able to diagnose the location where these newer, absent seizures are beginning.  He has now been five days seizure free, and is down to only 300mg 2x a day of the Trileptal (read all about his recent neurology visit and medication change here) so we are hopeful that weaning him off the Trileptal is exactly what he needs now that he's on the right dose of Lamictal. 

Celebrating... the fourth of July with family, family, family!  Josh's parents, brother & nephew, as well as my parents, sister and nephews and niece were all here to help us enjoy the day, and what a fun day it was! Good food, water balloons, a game of Uno, Pop Its for the kids... just so much fun!!!

Taking... Wyatt to the emergency room at 7:00am Friday morning after waking up to him screaming in the living room and the twins running into the room yelling, "Mom! Wyatt's bleeding! Turns out he and the twins were having a really fun pillow fight until he fell and hit his head against the rocking chair.  The force of it split the back of his head open, and it was bleeding quite a bit.  Josh cleaned it (I couldn't do it because it was hurting him) as Wyatt nearly hyperventilated and asked repeatedly, "Am I going to be okay?" and as we got it cleaned up, I just couldn't tell how deep it was, so I told Josh I thought I better take him in.  The ER doc said we could have left it, and it probably would have been fine, but with all the summer activities (sweating, swimming, helmets) it will have a lower chance of getting infected with that one little stitch in there.  So she numbed it with some gel, and then stitched him up.  He was scared, and there were lots of tears, but he was also so very brave.  I was a very proud mama. 

Going... to the pool Friday with my parents and sister, along with her three kids.  Oh boy did we have a lot of fun!  All seven of our combined kids are fish, and they had a blast!  With four adults, we were easily able to divide and conquer and keep all the kids (mainly Logan, Carly & Roxanne's baby) safe.  The kids all listened really well and stayed close to their designated adults, which made me grateful, and we all ended up having a lot of fun.  I'll have more pictures coming in a post soon.  I LOVE taking pictures at the pool.  All the water and bright swim suits and smiling kids- what's not to like?!?

"There's two of them?! Are you kidding me?"  ;)

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Around Here: Week 17 {2018}

Worrying... over Wyatt as he continued with an asthma flare up following a cold.  His peak flow numbers dipped and rose, dipped and rose, my worry rising and falling with each set of numbers. 

Missing... the baseball parade Saturday and a coffee date and countless baseball games and MOPS and more school days for Wyatt than I can count because of his sickness.  We spent lots of time snuggled up together on the couch, reading and watching TV, him doing breathing treatments with the nebulizer and trying so hard to get better.

Taking... him to the emergency room Tuesday night when his numbers dropped 40 points in a little over an hour at bedtime.  He told me it felt like his throat was closing and we did his peak flow, only to discover what had been a 215 was now a 175.  I called the advice nurse and she had me count his breaths (something I often do to see how he is doing while he sleeps) and while he usually falls within normal ranges (12-20 breaths per minute) he was breathing 36 breaths per minute.  So off we went to the ER.  We had finished the steroids from his doctor the day before, and it turns out some kids need a slow taper from steroids and Wyatt is one of those.

In the ER they gave him a chest x-ray to rule out pneumonia cause he was wheezing and sounded a bit crackly on the left.  Luckily his x-ray was clear.  They also gave him a nebulizer treatment and a prescription for more steroids with an incredibly slow taper: 10ml's 2x a day for 2 days, 8ml's 2x a day for 2 days, 6 ml's 2x a day for 2 days, 4 ml's 2x a day for 2 days and finally 2 ml's 2x a day for 2 days.  We then followed up with Wyatt's doctor the next morning to make sure his vitals (mainly his oxygen and his lungs) were better (they were), and we scheduled another follow up for closer to the end of his taper next week.

Thankfully by the end of this week he is better, with less coughing and good peak flow numbers, but it's hard for me to rest, knowing how quickly things can turn bad again, and also knowing that things can get worse when he ends the steroids again.  Hopefully the taper will make the difference!

Emotionally... feeling like total garbage.  Anxiety is such a roller coaster.  I woke up most days this week feeling like I'd been in a car accident. Shaking, with adrenaline pumping through my veins, like my arms wanted to levitate into the air.  My reaction to everything feels like it's under a magnifying glass and I am constantly having to talk myself down.  It's exhausting.  I did a much better job eating well this week, and I think that helped as much as it could (and I lost three pounds this week!), plus I squeezed in a couple work outs, which is also supposed to help with anxiety.  Not to mention the Prozac, which hit two weeks on Thursday.  I know it just takes time, but it's hard not to feel impatient when you feel this awful.  I just feel scared and on edge all the time!

Seeing... my counselor for the second time.  I brought Wyatt with me, along with a tablet and some headphones because I knew I couldn't afford to miss it.  Thank goodness for my friend Kara who is willing to have Carly every time even though she cries every time I drop her off.  She's always fine once I leave, but she's never very happy at the idea of being left.  My counselor and I talked about a lot of things I am hoping to write a post about here soon.

Feeling... Wyatt's feelings right alongside him as he dealt with being told no about doing certain things (jumping on the trampoline, going to his baseball games, attending the baseball parade, riding his bike, playing outside... the list goes on) as he recovered from his asthma.  The steroids make all his emotions a little bigger than they'd usually be, so almost everyday we'd spend a little time on the couch crying together. Luckily Wyatt's really emotionally mature, so he understands that crying gets the bad feelings out and after a good cry we feel better. 

Having... guilty feelings as Jack bombed a spelling test we forgot to give him pretests for.  Normally he only misses one or two words.  This week he only got half the words right. And it's totally not his fault. Sigh.  There's only so much of me to go around, and this week, I was 100% devoted to Wyatt.

Making... it to book club this week, which was such a happy thing.  I needed that time out, with other adults, away from my responsibilities, talking and laughing.  Those ladies are a lifeline, and I am so, so grateful for them.

Helping... Logan find better ways of dealing with his anger (which currently include clenching his fists, swearing, flipping off his brother, back talking, tantruming and hitting).  We made a list of more appropriate ways to manage his angry feelings and so far it seems to be working.  The main one that seems to have struck a chord (surprisingly to me) is keeping a journal.  I let him choose a special pen and notebook and when he's angry and writes down his feelings in there.  I think he's been surprised to find that often there are other feelings under the anger.  It has led to some really good conversations between us, and some self awareness for Logan that will go a long way.

Loving... how snuggly and attached me to me Carly has been lately.  She's always saying, "Mama, I want a snuggle." I love it so much. 

Thankful... for Josh.  For how he can calm me down when I am worrying and how he loves me so hard.  He's an amazing husband and father, a crazy-hard worker and awesome provider.  For eighteen years I've had him by my side, and I'm just so blessed by him. He knows me so well, he even ordered me poetry books from his school book order!  I was so surprised when he brought them home for me! 

There's no one else I'd rather take this crazy journey with, that's for sure.  I love you, babe.

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