20 Year Anniversary

{pc: my grandpa jerry}

Josh and I celebrated our twenty year dating anniversary last weekend.

Twenty years. It feels unreal.

Can it really be that it was two decades ago that he would hold my hand and walk me to my car (a cherry red 1970 Volvo station wagon) in the Mountain View parking lot after school? When he worked at Papa Murphey's making pizza on Friday and Saturday nights while I baby-sat the Pirkl kids.

It feels impossible that I will be 38 this year. That we have four kids. That two of them are middle schoolers.  That we're done having babies.  That I blinked, and suddenly we have the life I always dreamed of, and now our kids are approaching the ages we were when we met.

No joke, four years from now, the twins will be sixteen.  The same age Josh was when I met him.

It takes my breath away.

I watched our wedding video last Friday (with all the time we have on our hands) and a couple things stood out.

One, we were so young. My god, so young.

Two, we were so confident. So sure of our love.

And three, I was so thin.  And I had no idea.

My takeaway from the reminiscing was that I should fully embrace this moment, because looking back on it later, I will feel fondly for whatever the circumstances are.  I should love this home, this body, this day... because one day it will just be a memory, likely a fond one.  And today's all we got.

***

Josh,

I love you.  
I've known I loved you since about three weeks after I met you, 
and it's only grown deeper since then. 

I love you for teaching me that I can be brave.  That I can take risks.  That I can do something hard when it's the right thing to do. Leaving my church (my home for ten  years) for you was one of the hardest things I've ever had to do, and I would do it again in a heartbeat. I knew you were the one for me, and that God handpicked you for me. He told me so.

But if I wanted to claim that prize, if I wanted a future with you in it, I had to choose. I had to be brave.  Glennon Doyle says, "Brave means listening to the still small voice inside and doing as it says.  Regardless of what the rest of the world is saying.  Brave implies wisdom...  Sometimes brave means letting everyone else down but yourself."  That is definitely what this felt like.  And I am so glad I was true to myself, to you, to us.

Because look at what we've built.

We could have missed this.

And I'm so glad we didn't.

I love you forever & always.

~Shelly

***

"What a terrible waste of life it is,

to always take the easy path,

to never know what it is 

to risk everything

for what you love."

-Beau Taplin

"You were a risk,

a mystery,

and the most certain thing I'd ever known."

-Beau Taplin

"You are the poem I never knew how to write

and this life is the story I have always wanted to tell."

-Tyler Knott Gregson

***

Around Here: Week 31 {2018}

Reading... Goodbye, Vitamin and nearly finishing. It was such a good, quick, easy read.  I finished Educated on audio and have since started An American Marriage, which is interesting.  Educated was good, but didn't live up to the hype in my opinion, just meaning it was four stars, but not the five everyone else seemed to think it deserved.  I did really like it, though!  I have put down Ghosted, which sort of stalled out for me. I am curious what happens, so I think I'll finish it eventually, but this summer I don't want to push myself through a mediocre book. So I put it away for now, even though I'm halfway through.

Choosing... my August Book of the Month.  I love getting my monthly email telling me it's time to choose.  This month I chose Goodbye, Paris which is about a woman whose love life is shattered and how she pulls herself together in the aftermath.  I also added two extra books including A Mother's Reckoning: Living in the Aftermath of Tragedy by Sue Klebold, which was written by the mother of Dylan Klebold, one of the shooters at Columbine High School; and Not That I Could Tell by Jessica Strawser, which is about a group of neighborhood moms who get together one night for drinks and then one mom goes missing with her twins the next morning.  The extra add-on books are only $9.99 each!

Mourning... the end of When Calls The Heart on Netflix.  I got through season 4 and am now seriously considering buying Season 5 on iTunes because I am missing the characters so much!

Having... a BBQ with Josh's cousin and his wife last weekend that was so fun.  They have two little boys and all the kids had so much fun playing together.  They have a bird nest in their backyard that was highly entertaining and there was loads of good food to eat.  I am hoping we will continue getting together at least once a month.

Forcing... child labor on our children.  We made the boys collect totes of rocks in our side yard Monday so Josh could put the rocks along the edge of the shed in the back yard.  The shed looks amazing and the hard work didn't kill the children, despite their insistence that it might.

Loving... our sweet little garden, especially the little watermelon that's growing more each week.  It's just so darn cute!  And our corn will be ready to harvest pretty soon as well!  Our pumpkins have a few more months and I can't wait until they start growing. They are, hands down, my favorite thing to watch grow in our garden.  They grow so fast once they start!

Taking... the twins' twin friends to the pool with us on Monday afternoon.  It was a super hot day.  I don't think we were out of the water the entire time.  They had so much fun, and slept so good that night. Hah! Best part of swimming is how ready they all are for bedtime!  I also loved in the car when Carly was talking a mile a minute and I answered her and Channing (one of the twins) stopped and looked at me, then at Carly and said, "So you speak her language?" Haha! I guess not everyone speaks "two year old" as well as those of us who live with one. :)

Laughing... when I rolled up to the school on my walk, pushing Carly in her stroller, to see Jack riding Wyatt's bike, with his roller blades on.  These kids of mine, they're crazy, I tell ya!

Facing... Josh going back to work Tuesday through Friday this week and being left with the kids by myself.  I am so lucky that Josh is home all summer and when he has to go back for training and to get his classroom ready, we all miss him desperately!  This week he actually ended up being home again the last two days because Logan got a stomach virus, couldn't keep his seizure meds down and had a seizure Thursday morning; then Wyatt & Jack both caught it, so Josh stayed home Friday as well to help me keep Carly away from them in hopes she wouldn't catch it.  We got lucky and the virus ended with just the boys. Phew!  Josh was so sweet that when he was out gathering supplies (Gatorade, 7 Up and Saltines) he brought home roses for me, too, for being such a good mama & wife.  I am so thankful for that guy.

Canceling... all our fun plans for Thursday & Friday (with my sister and a girlfriend) because of sick kids.  Who gets the stomach flu in August?!? It was a crummy way to end the week, but I am just grateful that Josh, Carly and I managed to get by without succumbing!

Looking... forward to all the last things on my summer bucket list like swimming at the Washougal, looking at the stars with the boys on the trampoline, celebrating my 15 year anniversary with Josh next week, eating a meal outside in the backyard, and taking a family bike ride.  We're gonna squeeze every ounce of goodness out of this summer!!!

***

Around Here: Week 48

{November 24-December 1st}

Bowling... with my parents when they came to town after spending Thanksgiving with them at my sister's house.  The kids had so much fun and so did all the adults. Who knew bowling could entertain all the age brackets!  Thank you, Nanny & Papa!

Dancing... with Carly who is seriously loving music more everyday.  She loves to listen, sing and dance.  It's precious.

Celebrating... Carly turning 22 months old on the 24th.  I can't believe that in two short months she will be an official toddler.  No more baby. Wahhhhh!

Purchasing... a new Christmas rug at Big Lots for only $10.  It makes me ridiculously happy for that price.

Making... our marriage a priority with a little game night and big plans for date night. We love Rummikub and it's just what we needed to reconnect and remember to laugh together, not just survive the chaos.

Watching... Jack struggle with anxiety about his body and the health of his siblings.  I ended up reaching out to his school counselor because honestly, I struggle with the same thing and don't think I'm the best person to walk him through those emotions. His counselor is amazing and she said actually because of my experience I could be a great resource for him.  Together we came up with some things we agree he needs in his "toolbox".  Since then, I've been trying to catch Jack worrying and walk him through how he can better handle his feelings of concern. I'm hoping to do a more in depth post on this soon.

Laughing... at Carly's new cheese face!  It's so terrible, I love it.

Dealing... with four sick kids, on rotation.  I had one kid or another home sick every day this week except Friday.  Wyatt's sickness started the week before Thanksgiving, and we wrapped up this week with each twin coming down with it, and slowly recovering.  I am so over runny noses & coughing!

Relishing... the way Carly says, "I love you" ("I lou you") as we tuck her in each night.  It melts my heart.

Seeing... the doctor Thursday with Wyatt to make sure I was treating his cough the best way possible.  He had been sick, then well, then sick again, so I was worried.  The doctor told me a better way to do his nebulizer treatments and that his lungs sounded clear.  He just needed time to heal.

Canceling... date night and instead visitng the ER on Friday night. (Ironically the Red Box movie we rented but never watched was The Big Sick. Ha!)  Wyatt got out of school Friday and was coughing pretty good.  Honestly, the cough never stopped. He coughed for six hours, unable to fall asleep at bedtime because of it, when I finally said enough was enough and took him to the ER.  They diagnosed him with Reactive Airway Disease (like asthma after a cold, which we've known he had for a long time) and an upper respiratory infection.  He did two intense nebulizer treatments there, but nothing stopped his cough, and they sent us home.  His stats were all acceptable and we figured he just needed time for the virus to be eliminated from his body.  (Turns out, things were about to take a turn for the worse, but more on that in the next weekly update)

Writing... in my Five -Minute Journal every morning before the house wakes up, and every evening before dropping off to sleep.  I can feel it impacting my parenting most of all because each evening it asks how you could make the next day better, and each morning it asks how you can make that day awesome.  It's helping me be very conscious about my choices, my days and how I spend my time.

***

(Posting today, I am one week behind. 

"Around Here: Week 49" should follow shortly)