This Week

Loving the new pens I got from my friend Kori!  They write like a dream, and come in every color a girl could dream of.  Best mail I got all week!

Reading How To Be a Woman.  I am cracking up and underlining like crazy.  I finished If I Stay, and I'm sorry, but I hated it. I didn't super love the book, and I thought the ending sucked!

Looking forward to our new bible study by Ann Voskamp.  It's about 1000 Gifts which I read a year and a half ago and constantly refer to.  So excited to fill my soul with inspiration.

Wishing that we had cheese.  We are on week two of no cheese, and it's getting a little hard to be creative in the meal department.  Meatloaf? Check.  Sloppy Joe's? Check.  Golden Mushroom Soup Patties? Check.  And for lunch? PB & J everyday.  We'll be so happy (like, jumping up & down, throwing the good confetti excited) when the cheese Uncle Samuel bought us arrives!

Craving more of the awesome creamer people sent me in their care packages.  I drank through it all and am waiting for more from Amazon. (#becauseihaveaproblem)  In the meantime I am drinking Hazelnut, but only because I'm desperate!  (I prefer vanilla caramel).  I know, #firstworldproblems.  What can I say? I'm a mom, I don't sleep a lot, and a warm cup of coffee makes me a much kinder homeschooler/human being.

Nailing my goals for April!  Not swearing, blogging everyday and working out five days a week! I am killing it! Woot Woot!

Thankful that Jack traded beds with Logan, so he no longer fears mummies under his bed.  That kid and his anxiety can wear me out emotionally.  He's so similar to me, it's eery.  And I am often at a loss as to how to guide him through it.  So Jack's big heart gave me a free pass this week.

Enjoying the apple muffins I made with Wyatt earlier this week.  I took the apple cake recipe my mom gave me, and mixed it with the streusel recipe I found in my Betty Crocker cookbook and made muffins instead of cake with caramel frosting.  The kids like them, and I love them!

Laughing at the boys wanting to snuggle together in Wyatt's bed.  We barely fit, but they loved every second of it!

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PS- I will be compiling a post about life in rural Alaska soon, and would love to answer any questions you may have about rural living, homeschooling or our family in particular. As you know, I'm an open book, so please ask away!

Throwback Thursday: Berry Picking

Can I just say I love Josh's kids? (That's what I call his students.)  Each one has a special place in my heart and I especially love how tender they are with my kids.  Any time one of them sees the four of us (out in the village or at the playground) they always say hello to every single one of us. "Hi Shelly! Hi Logan! Hi Jack! Hi Wyatt!"  They say it like we are the highlight of their week, and it never fails to make me smile.

I loved looking back at these pictures of our adventure hiking Mt. Pilcher on a field trip day back in September.  The students were super helpful, assisting the twins in berry picking and encouraging them to try each kind of berry.

I also loved looking back because in these pictures I can really see that I have trimmed down from working out the last four months.  I may not be dropping the pounds, but I am definitely in better shape. Literally!

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Getting Outside

I have been so sad the last two weeks-- the cold weather has returned, and after nearly two weeks outside every.single.day, the afternoons stuck inside are dragging on and on.  The only positive side to this is that we have been doing a lot more arts & crafts.  Other than that, we're just getting on each other's nerves and wishing it was June & we were in Washington!

My friend Tabitha introduced me to the 1000 Hours Outside blog, and I am hooked.  Not everything applies to our family considering we live so close to the arctic circle... but I am inspired nonetheless.

This post has me excited for getting back home for summer vacation.  Evening bike ride/walks around the neighborhood after dinner and before bed sound lovely.  Spending time kicking back in the front yard, tossing the football around to get the last of their energy out sounds lovely.  Enjoying walks along the waterfront, sunsets at the beach, and climbing at the park are all right up my alley, and being in Washington will make all of them feasible.

I also found this post, about how being outside makes your kids healthier, fascinating.  Sure, it's just anecdotal, but what she says makes sense.  The more time your kids spend outside, in the sun, in the dirt, running & playing, the healthier they are going to be.

The main thing inspiring us to get outside as of late is the boys' bikes!  Josh pulled them out of the storage box a few weeks ago, and the boys were so excited!  Wyatt only tried his out once, as it's a little big for him, but the twins have ridden every time we've gone out.  It makes me so happy they enjoy it as much as they do.

{This is the puddle that was originally covered in ice...}

Now some of the time, getting outside is a lot of work for only a little payout.  Like when we finally get bundled up, and it's too cold (or windy) to stay out.  Or we finally get our gear on and make it to the park and Wyatt needs to go potty. sigh.

...Or we make it to the school, the weather is great and the kids are happy, and the twins get adventurous on a huge puddle covered with a thin sheet of ice and Jack, going slower than Logan when he safely crossed, cracks the ice, splashing into the frigid water below, soaking himself up to his armpits in freezing water and losing his bike in the puddles' depths.  

Days like those, we have to rush home to get kids into the tub to keep the hypothermia at bay, and our outside plans get scratched.

Some days getting outside is challenging.  Some days don't turn out how I envision.  Some days it's really messy or boring or exhausting.  But everyday I know it's what's best for my boys, so I will keep "Getting Outside" on the top of my priority list.

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Happy Earth Day, people!!!

Go hug a tree!

The Sun Will Rise

I've been needing a little inspiration to help me feel hopeful about the future.  Inspiration for me comes in two sources generally-- good quotes & good music.  This week it's been my current favorite album, a collection of lullabies, by JJ Heller.

This song reminds me that dawn follows darkness.  Right now I am in a good place-- I am feeling so grateful for Josh and for our boys... but when it comes to our future, I am at a loss.  Are we going to have another baby?  What will those details look like?  Is it worth the risk?   What do I want for our family?  What does God want for our family?  

The simple answer is, "I don't know."  And the more complicated answer is one that mixes in all the details of where we live, what health care looks like, and fears & concerns I have after suffering two miscarriages (one alone in Anchorage & one here in the village).  

There is no easy answer.

Some days I feel like diving into trying for another baby, regardless of the circumstances.  Other days I am paralyzed with fear at the thought of discovering another broken heart in my uterus.  If you think of us in the coming days, weeks & months, will you lift up a prayer on our behalf?  Right now I'm just praying for God's will because I don't know the right thing.  So I'm praying He makes His will clear to me.

Meanwhile, I am listening daily to this song and loving the peace it gives me about the future.

When the lights turn down, and the whole world dreams
And it's your turn now, close your eyes and sleep.
Sometimes it feels like forever, when it's dark outside...
Baby the sun will rise.  
Baby the sun will rise, however long the night.

If you lose your way, and your heart is torn.
May my love seem loud, louder than a thunderstorm.
Sometimes it feels like forever, when it's dark outside...
Baby the sun will rise.
Baby the sun will rise, however long the night. 

And when you feel afraid, and you see shadows on the wall
Wherever there is love, there is no fear at all.
Baby the sun will rise.
Baby the sun will rise, however long the night.
Sometimes it feels like forever, when it's dark outside...
Baby the sun will rise.
Baby the sun will rise, however long the night.

JJ Heller
{I Dream of You album}

(Youtube video of The Sun Will Rise)

Skip to 6:40 on the video

Hands Free Mama: Months 2, 3 & 4

NO PHONE ZONE

In February I followed the rules I had written and studied in January.  I made school time, meal time and bedtime a "no phone zone".  At times it was challenging, and I had to remind myself that setting my phone down made my life a lot easier.  The boys have better focus at school, better manners at meals and more sweet snuggles at bedtime if they have my full attention.

One piece of advice has helped me with putting my phone down during meal time.  It suggested two fun conversation starters that the boys really enjoy.  One was to tell them stories of my childhood, and another was to ask hypothetical questions.  (Like, "If you were a grown up, what would you cook for dinner?"  or "If you had $100, what would you buy?")  This makes for fun banter at the table and less sibling squabbles. 

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MY OWN CHILDHOOD

"The truth hurts, but the truth heals- and brings me closer to the person I aspire to be."

-Rachel Macy Stafford

A large part of the Hands Free journey includes examining your own childhood-- remembering how you felt and using that to clue into how your children are feeling.  It is challenging as it requires reliving some of the harder memories, but it's totally effective.  When I remember how I felt when I made mistakes as a child, it makes it easier to forgive my boys when they make mistakes.

Mistakes, however, are not the focus of this book.  There is no room for beating yourself up.  Mistakes are in the past.  The focus is today.  What can you do today to connect more with your kids?  What changes can you make to your life today to slow down and plug in with your family?  Keeping the focus on the present helps me stay positive and moving forward instead of feeling guilty and staying stagnant.

One thing I'm doing to connect more is to "linger"-- at bedtime, at the table, in the playroom.  Whatever we're doing, I am trying not to rush into the next thing on my agenda. 

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IN THE PRESENT

I have found that Instagram has been my friend in terms of seeing the little bits of magic that are my daily life with three little boys.  I really pay attention to their adorableness, and am often able to capture it to share with my loved ones.  I love that because I know one day I will miss the little Legos underfoot & Lucky Charms at the kitchen table.

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SAYING YES

For March we did chores together, making anything we did (making dinner or folding laundry) time for us to bond.  I said "Yes!" to them doing the dishes, sweeping, and cleaning the shower.  Even though it made more work for me, I let them give it a try. 

I also said yes to laying with them, snuggling them, and reading to them whenever they asked.  This was also hard.  To drop whatever I was doing wasn't easy and I had to constantly remind myself that they are the priority, but I did it.  

One thing that helped me drop my own to do list items was a comment I read on a blog about parenting:  "Being responsible for someone's childhood is a big deal.  We not only create our own memories, but we create our child's memories."  She's right.  It's a HUGE responsibility and one I don't take lightly.

So last month I put an emphasis on happy memories-- playing games, homeschooling, family movie night, soothing bedtime routines, and getting outside.  The funny thing is, it made us all happier... not just the boys.

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FOR APRIL

She reminded me that there will come a day when they won't come in my room at night for me to tuck them back in, rub their backs or snuggle them in bed.  There will come a day when they won't want me to play little Legos with them.  There will come a day when they won't wrap their arms around me and want to stay a while.  

So I will kindly follow them to their bedroom through the dark hallway, I will tuck them in snug & safe, and I will say yes to Lego battles.  I will hug them, long & hard, until they let go. 

I am so thankful for my Hands Free journey and the moments it has allowed me to cherish with my children.

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B-ball

Basketball is huge in Marshall, and we had the pleasure of attending a fun game one afternoon where the students took on their parents, plus Josh (Mr. C to his students) and Joe (the principal here).  The guys had a great time and the students enjoyed running their parents and educators on the court.

More Sledding

{Kinda like toes in the sand, right???}

We continued going out sledding, even as the snow melted and the rocks were poking out.  When going down the hill didn't work, the boys tried their hand at "ice skating" in their boots on the bit of frozen puddle by our house.  Not much snow this year has made us desperate enough to play in it, even as it's slipping away!