Working Out

As some of you may know, I've started working out. I am doing a 60 day workout challenge with Beach Body, doing Piyo and replacing one meal a day with Shakeology.  I started a week before the challenge began and cut out all candy, soda and coffee.  My body hadn't been responding well to caffeine, and with nursing I didn't really want to rely on it anyway, so I cut coffee first, then after a few days, I cut out my afternoon soda as well.  I dropped five pounds that week, going from 200 pounds to 195.  I was thrilled.  Then the 60 day challenge began and I replaced my breakfast and morning snack with a Shakeology shake.  Then ate healthy lunch & dinner choices, along with some better snacking choices.

Thus far, my biggest challenge is after the kids go to bed.  I used to sit in my room on my little couch, holding Carly, watching TV and eating candy. Oodles and oodles of candy.  It was my favorite way to end the day and reward myself for making it through.  Now that I'm not eating candy, I find myself craving it.  But I've stayed strong and with the use of Skinny Cow (a brand of healthier treats) ice cream, I can satisfy my sweet tooth without blowing my diet.

In addition to working out everyday, I am trying to be generally  more active, which is easier now that I'm about three months postpartum.  I'm not sore anymore or worried that I'm going to overdo it, so that makes exercising much more enjoyable.  Although I am noticeably weaker and slower than I used to be thanks to my third pregnancy & c-section destroying my core.

One of the things I've done is walk the waterfront here in Vancouver.  I did it on a day Wyatt had plans because it's a big walk with lots of hills and I'm not sure he could do it on his bike.  But the twins did it on their scooters and loved it. I think we'll be doing this more if the weather continues to be lovely.

So the following is a picture of the twins now at the end of the waterfront walk,

followed by a picture of the twins at less than one year old at the end of the waterfront walk.

You guys, I can't even.

I.just.can't.even.

The twins will be eight in a few short weeks.  They weren't even a year in the bottom photo.  And time, oh how time has flown.  Here I am now, nearly a decade into parenting, with two more thrown in the mix, and still time is a mystery to me.  The way it comes and goes, seeming fast and slow at the same time... All I know is that I'm grateful for pictures and for my blog so I can go back and reminisce when I feel like it.  I can't believe I have big kids.

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So with my working out, I had a lot of goals other than weight loss:

1) Wear my wedding ring again (it hasn't fit since the end of last summer)

2) Wear my cute underwear ;)

3) No more muffin top!!!

4) Feel stronger

5) Have tighter arms

6) Grow my confidence

7) Feel more in control (when I was eating all that candy, I was not in control!)

8) Set an example for my kids

9) Not have my ankle socks cut off my circulation (goodbye, cankles!)

10) Have better nutrition for Carly (whom I'm nursing)

11) Wear a belt (I don't want to wear maternity pants forever!)

12) Have more energy

Pictured above is my right hand ring, an anniversary gift from Josh five years ago, that I've been wearing instead of my wedding ring.  It's beautiful, and I love it, but my wedding ring is also beautiful and I really want to wear it. 

Two weeks into the program, I tried it on, and voila! It fit again! I am so happy!!!

Here are my Before Pictures:

Weight: 200 lbs.

And I am 8 weeks postpartum in these pictures.

I can't wait to share some "afters" in May when the challenge is over!!!

In our Facebook support group, we talk a lot about our "why" for working out.  If your goal is just a number on a scale, then day to day it can be hard to stay motivated. So it's been important for me to think about why I'm working out, why I'm eating healthier and why I'm sticking with it.

For me it boils down to my family.  When I work out and eat right, I feel better about myself which makes me a better (happier) wife and mother, which benefits everyone!  Also, I need a strong body to keep up with our three big boys, and a healthy body to keep providing Carly with the nourishment she needs from my breast milk.  

My workouts are not perfect.  Some days there's a lot of pausing to break up fights or feed the baby, but the point is, I gotta keep at it.  Living with my mother-in-law means there's a set of helping hands here most mornings, and that has been priceless in keeping me going.

The workouts have become part of our routine and the kids know that while they eat breakfast mom's going to pump the jam!  Carly's probably the hardest part of the puzzle, but as long as I feed her beforehand and Grandma's there to hold her, I can usually push through!

My in-law's also have a Vitamix that's come in handy when making delicious Shakeology shakes.  Mine usually consist of Shakeology, almond milk, some kind of berry (raspberry or strawberry), a banana, and ice.  Super simple, but delicious.  The best part is that it keeps me full until lunch, which eliminates a lot of mid-morning snacking.

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I found this quote especially inspiring. I am not happy with my strength feeling limited and my body feeling bigger than I'd like.  So I want to make better choices to change those things!

My goal for the 60 days was to get from 200lbs. down to 175lbs.  As of this morning I am at 188lbs, halfway to my goal.  Only 13 pounds to go!  Here's to staying motivated and keeping my momentum going.

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Carly in Mommy's Baby Clothes

This entire post is for my mom.  She's amazing at keeping track of pictures, memories & all our baby clothes.  So a few weeks ago we went through her chest of baby stuff, oohing over baby things from her and her sister's childhood (like the booties Carly has been wearing that are 60 years old!), and nearly crying when we found my little brothers favorite stuffed animal, Teddy Freddy.  I chose a few outfits I wanted to put Carly in, and finally yesterday, between cleaning vomit and dosing Tylenol, I did a little fashion show. 

This first one is the outfit my mom brought all four of us kids home from the hospital in. It's in pristine condition and is so soft!

This second outfit is what I wore to celebrate my first Christmas, I believe.

And this last outfit is my favorite. How perfectly does that hat fit my girl?!?

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to be treasured

Summer 2011

From the day we met, Josh has shown me what it means to be treasured.  He felt privileged to hold my hand, to kiss my cheek, to be my boyfriend.  

Sixteen years later, the same still holds true.  He still acts privileged to be sharing this life with me; raising our kids and being side by side through thick and through thin.  

He's not the only one who feels lucky.  I feel lucky.  Beyond lucky, I feel blessed.  

***

But all this love, of course, means that missing him this year, living without him, has felt, quite frankly, unbearable.  

source

I don't like the days without him.  And so I'm praying the 33 days until his return pass quickly.  I want to hug this man who has now spent HALF OF HIS LIFE with me!!!

(And also, selfishly, I want his help with the kids, 

who currently have the flu and have, 

I believe, given it to me... 

Lord help us all!)

A bit fragile

Oh my gosh you guys. 

How has it been nearly a month since I last blogged?  

Time just keeps slipping on by.  

Carly is now nine weeks old and she regularly smiles and coos at us. It melts us one and all.  Josh was just home for a visit along with some medical appointments, and while it was so good to see him, his departures always leave us feeling a bit fragile.

The future for our family is currently unclear.  He's applying for jobs from Alaska to North Dakota to Texas and we're just praying God puts us exactly where we're meant to be.  At this point, as long as we're together under one roof, we'll be happy.

I did manage to figure out Carly's insurance, if not perfectly.  Since I missed the window on signing her up under Josh's health insurance plan at work, I had to sign her up for Washington state health care.  They retro-dated it for me so she's covered from birth forward, which is such a blessing.  But it means finding her a new doctor, at a different clinic and that's bumming me out big time.

I guess most of my time is spent doing the ins and outs raising four kids by myself.  From the minute my eyes open, it's go-go-go.  We're making beds and getting dressed to get downstairs for breakfast.  Then it's a shower for me, getting ready for the day and starting homeschool.

Homeschooling the last month has been kicking my ass.  It's hard.  So so hard.  Feeling torn between taking care of Carly, being patient with the twins, and keeping Wyatt occupied can make my head spin.  My enthusiasm for teaching has taken a turn and at this point we're just checking things off the list.  The one thing we're all still enjoying is read aloud, so we're doing lots of that to keep spirits up.

In more positive news, Carly is doing great.  She's breastfeeding & sleeping like a champ, weighing in at 11 and a half pounds and giving me six hours of sleep at a stretch.  Her being so easy is my biggest blessing.  I just love holding her as she sleeps, wearing her in my sling, and snuggling her as she smiles when she first wakes up.  She's truly my sunshine.  

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Struggling

Josh and I have spent every evening this week Face Timing and deciding what to keep and what to get rid of as he works to wrap up five years of living in Marshall.  That's right.  Our adventure in rural Alaska is over.  

Now we are on to the difficult tasks of: finding a job elsewhere and downsizing all our earthly belongings into the number of blue Rubbermaid totes we have in our laundry room in Marshall.  

Last night as we sat sorting through the boys' homeschool stuff, Josh in our dining room in Alaska, me in my in-law's upstairs office-turned-bedroom in Washington nursing Carly, I burst into tears.  This is hard.  It's hard being away from him.  It's hard "packing" while I'm not there.  It's hard to have someone else (even if it's your beloved husband) sort through things for you.  It's hard to make the decisions I'm having to make.  

But just when I was feeling really down about the whole thing, I thought how lucky I am, really, that I am here and he is there.  Because if I was there, I'd have been doing the sorting & packing all myself instead of holding our sweet baby daughter.  If I was there, we'd have to take into account what the kids and myself would need to use/play with for the next three months.  Since it's just Josh there, he can sort and sell and pack whatever he wants cause we're not there to need it.  These are the silver linings I'm clinging to.

I'm not the only one struggling and wishing for this school year to be over.  Last night Wyatt wandered into my room around 10pm, tears in his eyes, looking for a lap to climb into.  I shifted little sister to one side and hugged them both tight while we all cried a bit.  He's just "sad dad's not here" he says.  That's all.  And there's nothing I can do to fix it. So I hug him.  And I cry with him.  And I tell him that I agree... It stinks.

We're on the downhill slide-- he'll be home for a visit soon and then we only have two months more... but honestly it feels like it'll be forever till we're living together again.  And if it feels like forever to me... I can't imagine how it feels for Wyatt or his brothers.  

I guess I keep expecting it to hurt less, for me to miss him less, for it to suck less... but it doesn't.  I haven't gotten used to being without him.  I still hate it.  And that makes each day feel particularly long.

I'd appreciate your prayers and words of encouragement as we push through this last bit of time being apart.  Not knowing what the future holds for our family is stressful; and days like yesterday & today, being apart feels simply unbearable.  

Chatbooks

I originally heard about Chatbooks from Ashley over at Under The Sycamore.  She's such an amazing photographer, I decided if she liked them, I'd give them a try as well.  Plus I love the ease of recording memories and not having to create the book myself, which is fun, but super time consuming.

 I back ordered & had every picture I've ever posted on Instagram printed.  It ended up being 8 books.  The ninth just finished (60 more pictures) and will be heading our way soon as well.  I like that I could name the books-- I chose "The Cunningham Family"-- and that they come labeled as volumes, so it's easy to look through them in order and know the dates included.

 The quality of the books isn't amazing.  But it's good.  And they're so cheap (and it's easy to order replacements) that I don't mind the kids paging through them.

 This is what an inside spread of pictures looks like.  The top left has the date the photo was taken, and under the picture the caption is printed.  

The only drawback for me is that if I wrote a long caption, it prints the caption on the next page.  I don't love how that looks, especially if they don't print together in page spread.  But like I said, for only $8 a book, I can live with it!

I spent the whole evening last night looking through every book (and being amazed at how far I've come since the miscarriages last year) and the boys spent all morning pouring through them, exclaiming at their clothes, toys & all the fun memories I captured.  

What fun!

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