I am NOT going to YELL at my kids ANYMORE.

Gretchen Rubin talks a lot about goals in her book Better Than Before (which I will be re-reading for pointers) and one of the things she talks about is when to start a new goal.  Sometimes a big life change is a good time (think: after a big move, a new job or a new baby); other times the best time to start is NOW.

And so today, on a random Thursday afternoon in September, I am going to make myself a resolution. I don't care that it's not a Monday, or a new month, or even a new week.  I feel like garbage right now (like I, for real, feel like a super shitty person) and I can't stand it for another second.

I am not going to wait until tomorrow morning, even, to start this new goal. I am starting it right now, while the kids are in school and the baby naps.

I am NOT going to YELL at my kids ANYMORE.

Yelling is not effective, they feel sad, I feel sad, and no one wins. We are all losing.  In addition to yelling, I am not going to swear at my kids (which I do while yelling at them.  Classy.) I am not going to say shut up (also super classy) and I am not going to put my hands on them.

Now I struggle a bit with no spankings or slapping, because I am not necessarily morally opposed to them, but I have been doing them for a while now (maybe the last three or four months) and I haven't found a change in behavior, plus I don't like how it makes me feel about myself as a mother that I am resorting to physical means of punishment when there are so many better ways to teach and consequence my children.

So there you have it.

I, Shelly Cunningham, am committing to calm parenting.  I will not yell, swear or put my hands on my kids again.

I have thought these thoughts many times in the past.  I have even blogged about peaceful parenting and wanting to make changes.  And there have been times I have actually made changes, but I always tend to slide back into yelling.

But no more.

This time I mean it.

And I promise to keep you updated.

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PS- If you have any tips about how you successfully parent your crew without yelling, advice is welcome!!!

February Goals Recap + March Goals

As you know, I eased into January (and the new year) with just four goals.  

I am pretty much nailing these goals, which feels great. 

1) No swearing
2) Blog 3x week
3) Read 24 books in 2017 (or 2 books/month)
4) Go to bed at 10pm

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Then for February, I added ten (!!!) more goals.  

Here's how those goals went:

1) No eating out
We made it two weeks without eating out when an exhausted mama said for Valentine's Day we were going out to eat. We also ate out when Josh's parents & brother came to town. Even though the goal was no eating out, I'm pleased we only ate out three times.  So I'm calling it a win!

2) Meal plan for the entire month
Thank you Tabitha for inspiring me to try monthly meal planning. I sat down last month and came up with 28 meals for our family.  Then each week I'd add those meals to my grocery list.  I loved knowing what I was going to have each day, and I loved how easy my shopping list was to make with the meals already decided. I highly recommend it.

3) Workout every weekday for the month
We worked out 14 days in the month of February.  We missed six weekday workouts, which is a bummer, but we exercised 14 times more than we did in January, so I'm counting it.  This goal will carry on in March, so I'm excited to see some positive changes in my body & mind.

4) Write a poem about motherhood
Fail. I didn't get around to this one.

5) KonMari: 
-the kitchen (+ wash down all cabinets); the office & the kids' memorabilia
This goal was also a fail. Between two weeks of kid sickness and another week of Josh being out of commission, I have barely been able to stay afloat with regular mom life (cooking, dishes, laundry, shopping) let alone get things like organizing & poetry done.

6) Automate bills
I did this as I paid February's bills, and it's crazy the relief I feel!  

7) Finish Dave Ramsey's book
We made zero progress on this one. Bummer.

8) Do our taxes
Done & done!

9) Cut the roses out front
Josh and his mom took care of this one for me. The light coming in our front window is lovely, and our front walk looks so fresh!

10) Wash the front window
Once the rose bushes were cut down, I was able to wash our front window and it looks wonderful! 

March Goals:
1) Continue working out everyday
2) Finish organizing the office
3) KonMari the kitchen + wash down the cupboards
4) Read, read, read

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Around Here: Week 7

Cherishing... Josh's handiness.  This week (on a No School Day due to icy conditions) he replaced all the thermostats in the house and put new blinds in every single window in the house. On another day he fixed the toilet we had that was acting up.  It's exciting to me that we're doing little things here and there to improve our home.

Loving... fresh flowers all over the house. Josh bought me roses and I bought myself some carnations that I put in our bedroom.  That little bit of spring is helping me get through these last bits of winter. It's been cold and icy here (still) and I am pining for green grass and some outside time.

Reading... Believing God, 1000 Gifts, The Lies We Believe, Auschwitz and Wonder with the twins.  I am so close to finishing Believing God, I can't wait! I feel like I've been working on that one for ages.  Auschwitz is really intense (obviously) and I am looking forward to reading something a little lighter when it's done.

Watching... The Accountant for date night last week and watching The Wheel on Discovery.
The Accountant was the best movie I've seen since I saw Deepwater Horizon at the theater. I loved it.  The Wheel is really entertaining and I can't wait for a new episode.

Spending time... at the boys' school running Wyatt's Valentine's Day party and attending the twins' award assembly.  Jack won two awards, one for perfect attendance and one for Mighty Math.  He's been working so hard (with Josh's help) to memorize his multiplication facts and I'm really proud of how far he's come. On his last test he got 99/100 problems correct.
The flip side of that is that Logan didn't get any awards.  As a twin parent, this is my struggle.  I want to fully celebrate Jack's accomplishments, but at the same time, I don't want Logan to feel bad that he wasn't singled out for an award. It's an awkward dance and one I don't pull off well.

Giving... haircuts to all the men in this house. So handsome they all look!

Enjoying... Carly doing her cake smash last weekend. She's such a cutie.  See her cake smash here. And Wyatt's here. And Logan and Jack's here.

Cheering... for the Tucker family as my brother-in-law got one step closer to becoming a Game Warden. I'm so proud of their family.  Their sacrifices and their hard work to get him through school has been awe inspiring!

Breaking... my own goals in the name of self care.  On Valentine's Day, I couldn't want to cook or workout, so I didn't.  We went out to eat, which was such a luxury.  And when the kids were in bed, I just relaxed and read my book.  I will make up my missed work out by working this weekend.  And as for eating out, well, it was worth breaking my goal to not have to do the dishes. Ha!

Goals:

Start reading Silver Bay by Jojo Moyes for my new local book club

Wash the kitchen cupboards

KonMari the kitchen

Write a Motherhood Poem

Teach the twins how to clean the bathroom

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