The Cunningham Family: Around Here: Week 52 2022

{December 25-31st}

"See you Thursday. Bye mom!"

Carly drew the cutest picture for Grandma & Grandpa

How cute are my grandparents?

Carly used my own Facebook messaging to message me while I was gone.

Driving through Portland on the way home was so sad.

I ordered Carly a new snow coat & pants.
I honestly don't know if this is a good deal, but they're cute and she loves them,
and she needs them. So, win/win/win.

Waking... at 6:30am on Christmas morning to a very (very) excited little girl. We all tromped downstairs where the kids opened their presents and stockings while Josh and I ate cinnamon rolls and I drank coffee. It was a lovely morning and the kids were all so happy with their gifts. Carly pretended to faint after every gift. Haha! Love that silly girl.

Enjoying... brunch with Josh's family out on his parents land in their new house. Josh and his brother and sister built the house, and it feels like dreams coming to fruition for his mom to be able to host all of us. So happy for her, and so proud of Josh. He's an amazing son. Truly.

Chatting... with my counselor about whether or not to go visit my grandpa. I think that I knew it was going to be an emotionally hard visit and part of me was like, "No! I don't want to go!" But after discussing it with Dr. Hunter, I realized that not going did not feel like an option. I really do want to go, even though I know it will be difficult. It's a way that I can show support to my grandma and have a chance to say goodbye to my grandpa.

Packing... for my trip to the coast with my dad. When he said he was going, I asked if I could join him, unsure how he would feel, and he jumped at the opportunity to have a travel companion. It was a really good day of travel with us visiting and eating Burgerville (my favorite!) and hitting up the Fred Meyer in Tillamook before heading to Rockaway. Shopping at FM was bizarre as the power was out, so only generator lights were on, and it was so quiet. We got a bunch of stuff we could eat without power, and we picked up some flowers for grandma.

Arriving... to my grandparent's house where they have lived since I was 8 years old, and walking into a completely dark house as the rain pelted my dad and I with our arms full of luggage. Grandma had a battery powered lantern and a few flashlights, and thankfully they have a woodstove, so we were plenty warm at least.

Making... dinner for the four of us in a flashlight lit kitchen. I made us tuna sandwiches and salad. We had just sat down to eat when grandpa started choking on something he had eaten. And he didn't stop coughing for at least an hour. It was so disconcerting. I was so worried, as were dad and grandma. But most of all I felt awful for grandpa. He is so weak, and his lungs aren't great because of the cancer, so it was like he couldn't cough up what he wanted to cough up.

Sleeping... lightly through the night without my CPAP (which requires electricity) but feeling grateful to have made it. Thankfully the power came back on the next day!

Taking... care of grandpa while grandma had her dentist appointment and errands to run. I helped grandpa to the bathroom multiple times, which was no small feat. He had to stand up from his easy chair, hold his walker, and make it down the hall, around the courner, through his bedroom and into the bathroom. I also visited with him and I made sure he was warm enough and drinking some water. Then I gave him a haircut, which was a really tender moment for me. I didn't want to hurt him so I had to be so gentle. Then I had him walk over to the kitchen sink and had him lean in so I could wash his hair after the haircut, removing all the pokey hairs from his head. Somehow we did the whole thing, but man I was sweaty after it was all said and done! Haha!

Walking... on the beach with my dad after grandma got home and she shooed us out to enjoy the sunset. Rockaway Beach (in Oregon) is my favorite beach, and she put on a beautiful show for us that evening. I was grateful to get out of the house and get some air in my lungs. Seeing my grandpa like that is really hard for me. He was always such a fun, life-of-the-party guy and now he struggles to find his words and to understand what we're saying. Thankfully he still has a smile, and the mischief in his eyes.

Journaling... a lot of the time we were at my grandparents house. It's not often I have quiet time to collect my thoughts and my journal was in desperate need of a catch-up. So I wrote in my old journal, finishing it out, and even started a new one while I was there.

Missing... my kids and Josh so much while we were gone. It was hard because our cell phones didn't work while we were without power (something about the electricity impacting the cell phone towers up on the hill) but being with my dad and his parents was really special. Grandma made us dinner the second night and it was so yummy.

Waking... early on the last day, packing everything up and waiting around for my grandparents to wake up. Finally dad went in and had to wake grandma up. Which we hated to do... but we needed to hit the road. Grandpa woke up very (very) out of the breath that day, which was so hard to see. He tried laying down to ease it. He tried sitting up. He just couldn't get it under control. It made it hard to leave. Every time we have left the beach, ever, my grandparents have stood on their front porch, waving until we are out of sight. This time they were inside, grandpa waving backwards from his easy chair in the front window.

Listening... to some of dad's favorite podcasts on the drive home. The Mortified Podcast is the one that stood out the most. It's adults reading their journals out loud in front of an audience, and it struck such a cord with me because I have kept a journal since I was Carly's age. I just started journal #109. So I could absolutely identify with these grown ups reading their baby selves' thoughts and adventures. Hah! Let's just say "mortified" is the perfect name.

Suffering... a migraine as we headed towards home. Thankfully my migraine meds helped nip it in the bud, and a pit stop at Burgerville didn't hurt. Man I miss that restaurant!

Arriving... home and feeling overwhelmed, as I often do, at the transition from "Shelly" to "mom". It's like so quiet to be Shelly. And so simple. But being mom is loud and overwhelming and a lot of responsibility. Moms, do you feel me?

Taking... that negative feeling of overwhelm and deciding to play a game with my crew. We played Monopoly, followed by a hot sauce challenge the twins have been wanting to do with a hot sauce gift pack Josh got from his co worker before Christmas break. Those boys are insane. They are so tough. I probably couldn't have handled the "weakest" sauce. Let alone the hottest!!

Grateful... that Josh and the kids took down Christmas while I was gone, so I didn't have to lift a finger to undo the magic of the season. And what a blessing that was.

Playing... Perfection with Wyatt and Carly which I ordered on sale from Amazon. The kids love it. It's so fun!

Sending... Josh to the eye doctor and then waving him off to go change the oil in our cars at the land. I am so grateful that he is so skilled at car maintenence and mechanics. It saves us more money than I can even imagine.

Creating... goals for the new year and really having fun coming up with a "word of the year". I looked back at my previous words of the year (see below) and then brainstormed some new ones. I finally settled on "Hard Work". I'm curious, what are your goals? And if you have a word of the year, what is it?

***

I needed this encouragement.

So grateful for Sarah.

I loved this story my sister shared of her and her babies. Many people say to foster parents "I would get too attached" and we always respond, "That's the point". So her sticker "Yes, I get too attached" was so perfect. She's such an amazing example to me, and I am so grateful I have gotten to love on those babies for however long they are in my life. I am so lucky to get to love them.