Wyatt Bo Byatt

 Yesterday Wyatt had his six week check up.

He is in perfect health.

 He weighs 13 pounds exactly. (92nd percentile)

And is 22 inches long. (45th percentile)

 Yay! He's a growing boy!

 He had to get three shots.  He cried the saddest cry I have ever heard come from his lips, but once I was holding him again, he cheered right up.  He's just such a good, easy going baby.

 Last night I did nothing. I spent the entire evening on the couch, holding this precious bundle as he slept.  And when he woke up, I was rewarded for my baby cuddling with these near-smiles.  I just can't wait until he busts out a huge, dimply grin. 

 You'll notice my necklace is a bit charm-heavy. My mom made me the Logan & Jack charms when the boys were babies and I had to leave them to go to work.  Then Wyatt was born and we added a charm for him.  And now with Josh leaving, I wanted another charm with his name on it, so he would always be "close to my heart," as my mom said. I love this necklace with all four of my "men" on it.

After giving me the sweetest almost-smiles, he whipped out that famous bottom lip of his.  Oh, how it can break my heart.  This kid has me wrapped around his tiny, perfect fingers and he's not even two months old yet!

Bad Dream

 Last night I woke up at the end of a bad dream.

 In the dream Josh and I lived in a wooded area off a main road.  There were three houses- my parents lived on the left, we lived in the middle & we had neighbors on the right.  We were driving (with our kids in the car) about to turn into our driveway, when these huge grizzly bears approached the car.  My dad was in the road, up ahead, watching as the grizzlies poked & scratched our car.

Then the dream skipped to another day, and the grizzlies were at it again, attacking our car. This time, they tipped our car over on its side.  The boys were all three asleep & buckled in.  Again, my dad was watching, so I knew that since he was there, we'd be okay. (Even though I was terrified outside my mind.)

Then the dream skipped ahead again. This time I was taking Wyatt to the grocery store by myself. I was walking with Josh's friend Jana (a fellow Yukon School District teacher) pushing Wyatt in an umbrella stroller.  I was telling Jana about the attacks and she offered me  her bear mace. On the way to her apartment, we saw a very large man being chased by a bear.  We were scared the bear would change his mind and try to chase us because I had a baby who was obviously defenseless. I had to yank Wyatt out of his stroller and we booked it to Jana's place.  Unfortunately we couldn't find the bear mace.

And the dream ended.

I think I have Alaska on my mind!!!

Safari Adventure -Day One

We decided a while back that we wanted to take the boys to the Wildlife Safari near Roseburg, Oregon this summer before Josh left.  So last week we hit the road.

As usual, we had good little travelers.

(See Jack in the back?)

The boys napped, which was great!

And seating them away from each other made for good boys, even when they were awake.  Oh, and the portable DVD players we picked up at Costco don't hurt, either!

As soon as we got to the hotel, we hit the pool.

The boys' life jackets give them so much confidence in the water.

They have always loved the water.

But it seems they enjoy it even more now that they're older.

The awesome bouncer my mom bought for Wyatt when I was pregnant came in handy yet again (remember seeing it on our camping trip?) as he was able to nap poolside while the rest of us swam.  He was protected from both bugs & the sun.

The big boys took turns jumping in to me. 

At first they wanted to be caught.

I love this series of shots of Jack jumping to Josh:

 

Josh's new camera is awesome for capturing so many shots in a row.

And also I love the clarity of the pictures.

Awesome!

Soon, Logan was jumping into the deep end by himself, "popping up" (as he said) and swimming about like a big kid.

He was being so brave.

And making his parents very proud.

Our big swimming boys!

Gorgeous Jack

(Did I mention I love this new camera?)

Daddy & his boys

After our afternoon of swimming, we headed to the local elementary school to play on the playground and get even more wiggles out before dinner.

Our big boys

Hooray! We made it!

Jack dug his piggies down in the bark chips to find the cold mud underneath.

What a boy!

Logan

Logan was so sweet to Jack, trying to convince him to go down this swirly slide.  He told him to be brave and that he'd be safe.  It was so precious. (Even though Jack wouldn't do it!)

I have spent a large majority of every family vacation/outing exactly like this.  My Aden & Anais blanket draped over my shoulder, my baby tucked into my body, feeding that sweet cooing boy.

The boys were really sweet, getting along while they played.

Before we left, I wanted to get a picture of my four men.  Jack was so upset we were leaving, that instead of a happy family picture, I got this:

And this.

That's little kid life.

After our afternoon of swimming & play at the park, we went to dinner at Elmer's.  The boys had the BEST behavior at a restaurant that we have ever seen. They were polite, used nice manners, and were super patient waiting for their meals.  It was a very proud evening for Josh & I. It's so nice when you see your hard work parenting paying off!

When we got back to the hotel we laid the boys down. It took an hour to get them to sleep, but once they were asleep, they were out!

Jack

 Logan

Wyatt was also a great little sleeper. 

I love that little buddy!

And I love this guy, too. I am going to miss having him around, just hanging out. Someone to laugh with & parent with.  I am so happy we got to make so many awesome memories with our boys this summer.  It will be good for the boys to have those to look back on while he's gone.

{More to come on our actual visit to the Wildlife Safari!}

"Discipline Mistakes" -PARENTS magazine

The other PARENTS article that inspired me (and made me feel less alone) was Discipline Mistakes All Moms Make.  Here are the mistakes us moms make, and how to fix them:

1. We're too negative
We're always telling our kids what NOT to do. 
Instead, ask for the behavior you WANT to see.  
This saves "No!" for the dangerous scenarios.


2. We expect too much from our kids
She said that our kids are still learning social norms, so our job is to remember they aren't trying too embarrass us or be naughty- they simply don't know better. Our duty is to inform them.  She says to point out what others around are doing well, so your child knows what behaviors to copy.  Also, she says to expect to give lots of reminders.


3. We model behavior we don't want to see
When you act a way you wouldn't want your child to mimic, the author suggests apologizing and taking a do-over.  This was super helpful advice for me, especially when I lose my temper and yell. I don't want my kids yelling (at me or each other), so it's important that I communicate to them that losing my cool is a mistake.


4. We intervene when our kids simply annoy us
She says to fix this common parenting mistake, we need to ignore selectively. I was alone with all three kids yesterday while Josh was gone at the beach, and ignoring selectively is what got me through it.  When the boys were tapping, acting goofy or playing with something the wrong way, I just ignored it.  The behavior generally stopped and I never had to open my mouth.


5. We're all talk and no action
Guilty, guilty, guilty!  I hate having to follow through on discipline, especially when I am tired or feel like all I am doing is putting one boy or the other in time-out.  She said that we need to set limits and follow through. She says, (and I quote) "Nagging, second chances, and negotiation all convey that cooperation is optional."  This is not the message I want to be sending my kids! I've gotta improve my follow through.


6. We use time-out ineffectively
She says time-outs often lead a child to feeling rejected.  Instead of calming down, they can amp up.  She suggests a time-in, where you sit quietly with your child.  For my kids, I know that Jack will "take a break" during time-out, laying in his bed, whereas Logan will become more agitated, more naughty & more distraught.  I think a time-in would be very effective with him.


7. We assume what works for one kid will work for another
As I said above, both boys respond differently to the same consequence.  This is important for me to keep in mind because I can make a situation worse by expecting Logan to respond the same way to the discipline I've developed for Jack. It's unfair to them and me. 

~

I found all of this advice really helpful.  Especially the selective ignoring and the idea that they are completely unaware of social expectations.  My job as their mom is to tolerate their "kid-like" behavior and teach them social rules.

"Lessons from a Zen Mommy" -PARENTS magazine

The author, Bethany Saltman, & her husband were once Zen Buddhists who lived in a monastery for a time before having children.  Reading that, I was totally turned off.  It seemed so "holier than thou", but I have been desperate since bringing Wyatt home to get some quality peaceful time with my boys.  I always feel so frazzled with them & by them.  Turns out, her advice was spot on.


Here's a summary:

1. Do what you're doing while your doing it

Stop multi-tasking.

This was super hard advice for me to consider.  I am the queen of multi-tasking, let me tell you.  But I've been trying it the last few days, and it makes such a difference in my state of mind.  She says that doing what you're doing while you're doing it will make you happier and I think she's right.

2. Leave no trace

Here she says that your home is a reflection of what's going on in your mind. I find this to be so true. She says that while you don't want to stress about having a spotless home (hello! You have small children!) you do want to have a place that doesn't add extra stress. She also suggests you start teaching your children from a young age how to help you with this. (ie "Before we play Candyland, let's clean up your puzzle.")

3. Take just the right amount

Which means, don't acquire so much stuff!

This was particularly good for me to read because up in Alaska our storage is going to be limited, not to mention the fact that shipping everything to ourselves up there in the middle of nowhere is going to be expensive. So I am going to have to learn to choose carefully. She also suggests teaching your child to go through their things to donate to Goodwill when it just gets to be too much.

4. Practice patience

Don't beat yourself up over things

She says to remember that the journey is the goal.  Our kids are always changing, so we are constant rookies and we will make mistakes.  She often gives her daughter a chance to "try again" when she does something wrong.  This reinforces doing things right, but doesn't make her daughter feel awful for goofing up.  

5. Develop rituals

She uses rituals as a way to communicate her goals to her daughter & help her daughter to make daily goals.  Rituals are huge with the twins, and I am looking forward to making even more when we are going it alone. 
 

6. Count your blessings

This is something that I was recently reminded of and it has a huge impact on my daily life.  If I am in a funk, stopping to look around at what I have to be grateful for can snap me right out of it.  Babyham Blessings is where I go to write my many blessings down.  It's wonderful to look back on them, and feels good to stop & reflect. 

7. Remember to breathe

The last few days this one has been big for me.  When I feel my emotions running rampant, and the boys are acting up, my natural tendency is to yell. Mean & loud.  And that is NOT the kind of mommy I want to be. Stopping to breathe in and then out has saved me from a lot of mommy guilt. 

I am so grateful this magazine showed up when it did. 

This article was a good reminder of some great parenting techniques.

Departure

 We are less than a week from Josh's departure, and I can't accurately explain how quickly time seems to be passing.  We've definitely made the most of his time here. A beach trip, camping, the zoo, the Wildlife Safari & his Farewell (more on those later) and a lot of quality family time.  He's sent himself everything he'll need for his first few weeks in Marshall, and he's definitely getting excited about the teaching aspect.

Unfortunately, he's also growing more emotional about leaving the boys.  And me.

 Some days I can really talk myself into thinking it's going to be fine.  It's just a few months; We'll talk everyday; I'll be so busy that time will fly by; I don't have to go back to work this fall- I finally get to be a stay-at-home mom like I always wanted...

 But then I will see him hug one of the boys, or he'll tell me I'm beautiful and I'm back to thinking how much this is going to suck.  How much I will miss his help, his advice, his laughter & his hugs.  And how gut wrenching it will be to see the boys miss him, and him miss out on the boys.

I'm a bit like a roller coaster.

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I do have a game plan, though. And that has been my saving grace. Thinking about how to best go about single parenting our three boys has kept me busy.  Creating the best tactics for how to get things done without another adult around has filled my mind as of late.  Especially after Josh left me here with all three boys the other night to have dinner with his siblings.  I got my first true taste of what it's going to be like doing dinner, bath & bedtime all by myself...

 It was ugly.  Wyatt cried the whole time, Jack poured all the bathwater out and onto the floor, and Logan tantrumed because he had picked the wrong book for story time.  It was a nightmare.  But in the end, it was good. I have decided that I will eat all my meals with the boys.  This way I know I am not grouchy just because I'm hungry. (And with breastfeeding, I am finding myself hungry all.the.time!)  I also decided I'll be buying the boys Pull-Ups instead of diapers from now on so they can put them on themselves.  I can't hold Wyatt during bathtime, but if the boys can get in their pajamas independently, then I can hold Wyatt during that time. Also, while the boys are in the tub I will wash my face & brush my teeth so I'm ready for bed, too.  And Wyatt & I will be getting on our jammies along with the twins.  This way we will be in bed even earlier.

In terms of discipline, I read some awesome articles in PARENTS August issue.  This magazine saved me!  There were two articles in particular that spoke to me. One was Lessons from a Zen Mommy.  And the other was Discipline Mistakes All Moms Make.  I will be blogging about each of these articles separately as I am just sure others of you out there could benefit from them!

And for my own sanity, I will be going to bed at 9pm and will be reading a book until I feel tired.  My mom suggested this because I know going to bed will feel sad & lonely (at least in the beginning) and she said having a good book to read will give me something to look forward to each night as I turn in.  We also think it might help with my anxiety because a book can take you out of your own world.

I will be waking up (to an alarm clock) at 6am everyday. I am going to treat parenting these three boys like a real job.  I am going to wake up everyday and hop in the shower, get completely ready (hair & makeup) and get any chores done that need completing before the boys are up at 7am.  

This morning I had my first practice run at this, and it worked out beautifully.  Wyatt woke up to be fed at 5:45am, then I got him back to sleep, and was able to take a shower, get ready, do a load of laundry & change our sheets all before the boys got up.

 The new discipline techniques, along with my personal schedule & the help of all the amazing people supporting me, I think I just might survive what the next few months hold for us.