Around Here: Week 42 2024

 {October 13-19th}

{Have you ever lived with a teenage boy?
Do you want me to describe it to you?}

Jack & his girlfriend are adorable.

{Can you spot the birds?}

Peeling... apples as a family and then chopping them up to store in the freezer for use throughout the fall and winter in cakes, breads & muffins. I am so grateful for Josh, Carly and Wyatt's help doing this massive job! 

Running... errands to Walmart and Winco. Having those things crossed off my list feels so good!

Meeting... the school nurse who told Carly she looks like her grandma. It was neat to meet her and hear hear say that Carly looks like Carol did as a little girl.

Listening... to Burn by Peter Heller, which is not at all what I thought it would be. 

Watching... more Gilmore Girls and Love Is Blind. Also watching Brave with Carly, which was fun since she made an arrow with our neighbor girl Addie and a bent stick they found. (They're so cute and creative!)

Making... pretzel rods dipped in melted chocolate chips and covered in sprinkles, then set in the freezer to harden. They were a huge hit with the whole family!

Thrilled... that Hadley finally laid with me. She always lays with Josh and the boys, so I was so happy she finally snuggled with me!

Wishing... that time would slow down.  Time is just moving too fast and I'm behind on the blog and behind in my journal and behind on my to-do list and I just need everything to move a little slower so I can get more accomplished each day!

Grateful... it's been over a week since Jack's last suicidal thought.  For him that mostly manifests as "I don't want to be here" crossing his mind, especially when things get hard. So it feels really good to be moving away from that. 

Loving... the absolutely adorable ghosts Julie made and gave to Carly.  They're so cute and Carly loves them!!

Walking... my friends through heartache and it's been impacting my dreams. Their scenario is playing out in my own life while I'm sleeping and it makes me really empathetic to their plight because even for pretend it's dang stressful! 

Trying... to help Wyatt heal from his cold with lots of water, the humidifier, Dayquil & Nyquil, plenty of kleenex and vaseline for his sore nose. 

Working... at different sub jobs in bits and pieces.  An hour here, three hours there. I love being at school though. I swear I feel like a celebrity when I'm there. All the kids shouting my name and waving. I know that sounds really vain... but the reason I love it is because I must have made them feel seen and loved at some point, and that makes me feel really good about what I do there. 

Attending... book club at my friend Becky's with only three of us there, but it was so good.  We talked about all the heavy things we're all facing, and somehow sharing with each other just made the load feel lighter. I am so grateful for them. We also read (and discussed) a really good book this month called "After Annie" and I loved it. 

Trying... my hand at poetry after dropping Carly at school in the mornings.  I've been inspired by Mary Olivers' Devotions (a fantastic book that is a collection of all her best poems) and I am having so much fun with it. I will try to share some here. 

Frustrated... with one of my teenagers who was trying to skip with a friend. But when his friend tried to call him out of school, the school knew it wasn't my phone number and so the absence wasn't excused. Oh, teenagers. Why don't you just trust that your parents will likely find out and do what you're supposed to?!? {exasperated sigh}

Spending... way too much time chatting with an older relative who offended, like, everyone in my extended family. I found myself creating a boundary not to take another phone call with them because I just don't have the bandwidth (or the patience. or the desire) to deal with that kind of bullshit right now. 

Turning... on our small fireplace heaters downstairs for the first time this season. They create a nice ambience and also heat it up down there pretty nicely. (Our thermostat is upstairs, so it's always warmer upstairs than down.)

Heading... out to the local pumpkin patch Saturday Night for their haunted maze with Josh's brother & his girlfriend, plus his sister and her two boys and one of their girlfriends. We had a great time, with lots of laughs (and not too much screaming) and ended the night eating and talking at Shari's. It was so enjoyable and really good for me to get out of the house. I've been feeling kind of defeated, depressed and overwhelmed by it all. So it was a much needed date night. 

***

Around Here: Week 41 2024

 {October 6th-12th}

{Actual spider on my porch!!!}

Cleaning... the downstairs bathroom with the @gocleanco method and oh my goodness is it ever shiny & clean! I washed the walls and scrubbed the sink... it was disgusting! Took me about 4 hours. 

Loving... the song that Logan shared about Carl. It's "Burn, burn burn" by Zach Bryan and words go,

"I'd like to get lost on some old back road

Find a shade tree and a honey hole

And talk to my grandpa again."

Laughing... and shaking my head at Carly's outfits. This girl has a very specific idea of what she likes to wear, so we roll with it. And I try to take a lot of pictures. 
She's also started doing her own hair, and I love to see it. Pony tails and messy buns are her favorites. 

Enjoying... the most amazing fall weather. Blue skies, crisp, sunny weather... there's just nothing better.

Filling... out ADHD paperwork for Logan and turning some over to his teacher as well. Then we had a meeting to go over the paperwork, and despite the fact that he has even more obvious signs than Wyatt, he still doesn't have it severe enough (at least according to school personnel) to get an immediate diagnosis.  So he will also have to see the specialist.  It's a slow process, but at least it's started. 

Needing... the sweetest reel that Josh sent me. It said "Send this to a mom who is doing her best, needs a drink on the beach and some relaxation." It made me feel so seen. 

Hosting... my parents for dinner Tuesday night as my dad was selling a guitar on Facebook market, and Moses was closer to his buyer than Wenatchee was. It was so nice to have them over mid-week and get to spend time together. 

Making... beds this week, come hell or high water. I don't know why it's such a battle to get my kids to make their beds and tidy their rooms before school, but I finally told them that if they don't make their beds and clean their rooms, they aren't going to be allowed their phones before school. Suddenly, making their beds and cleaning up isn't such a big deal. Haha!

Hitting... the orthodontist early one morning before school for Carly.  She was so brave as they finally put the wire on her braces. It hurt so much she was in tears as we were leaving. We had to head straight from the orthodontist to school because I had a sub job, so I swung by Starbucks and got her a cake pop to put a smile on that sweet little face. It worked like a charm and by the time we got to school, she was doing great. 

Answering... the door when an old man was knocking, assuming he had the wrong house. He asked if I was Shelly and if I remembered him. I told him I didn't and he said he was Gaylin Davies, an old friend of Carl Cunningham (Josh's dad) and that he had apples for me. The way that I needed this act of kindness, I cannot begin to tell you. This old gentleman picked a gigantic box of apples off a tree in his backyard, looked up our family address, and delivered them to me. It felt like the biggest godwink from Carl. I just know that Carl saw how downtrodden I was feeling and sent a message to his friend for me. 

After... receiving the box of apples from Gaylin, I cried the whole way to the high school (just so grateful for the kindness of others) to pick Jack up for his first counseling session with Heather, who is the same counselor we've been seeing for Logan & Jack's ADHD diagnoses. 
The meeting went so well, but I'll be honest, it was really hard to keep from crying. Talking about your beautiful child not having energy and wishing he wasn't alive breaks you in a way that is hard to describe.  His counselor talked to us about how anger can often be the cover for other emotions (he's been angrier than usual the last two weeks) and about how important sleep is for mental health.  It was a great first meeting and Jack was really comfortable with her, which I am so grateful for. 

Attending... my own counseling as well and it was, well, terrible, frankly.  I have been waiting anxiously for two weeks to have counseling again (since Jack told me about his suicidality) and instead of finally getting to unload emotionally, I found myself being interrogated about Jack.  She told me that she thinks that Jack might not have ADHD and depression, but rather bipolar disorder (she said this having never met the kid) and then she went on to say that she thinks he is a closeted gay (his girlfriend is his beard) and that he's suffering sexual shame.  It was all so completely out of pocket.  I ended that counseling session feeling 100x worse about absolutely everything.  I felt like I didn't even know my kid and was more worried about him than I had been to begin with. 

Deciding... that I am done with my counselor. I've only been seeing her for a few months as my regular counselor was deployed to Africa for ten months, and there's no love lost, especially after this most recent visit.  I then decided to tell Jack about our appointment and her thoughts.  He laughed out loud, assuring me that he's not experiencing sexual shame or a closeted gay man. That he would feel completely comfortable coming out if he were gay, but that he is actually straight and Cadence is his actual girlfriend, not a beard. As for bipolar, I have always been taught, "When you hear hoof beats, think horses, not zebras" and when it comes to his family history of both adhd and depression, those are way more likely than bipolar. Plus he's too young for a bipolar diagnosis. Teenage hormones mess with the symptoms, so it's not diagnosed in adolescence. Sigh. What a disappointing appointment that was. 

Shopping... a bit on Wednesday at Goodwill and Walmart, finding some great clothes and shoes for Carly at Goodwill.  It felt like a treasure hunt!

Reading... Here One Moment and listening to A Well Trained Wife on audio. Both are so good. 

Spending... some time each night at bedtime to allow Carly to write songs in her song book. 

Laughing... that Carly, like her mother, lives for a to-do list. She made herself a daily to do list that we laminated and she uses every morning to make sure she's ready for school when it's time. 

Also laughing when Wyatt walked by some free boxes in our neighborhood and brought me home three potatoes and an onion. Haha. So random, kid. 

Proud... of Logan for how quick he's getting back into skateboarding.  He's amazing!
And proud of the cats for catching the last few flies that are buzzing around the house. Go kitties go!

Journaling... everything that's been going on the last two weeks, and man alive was it a lot! I spent hours just getting it all on paper. I always feel so much lighter after I update my journal. (Random sidenote, I am in my 110th journal currently. Can you believe it?!)

Walking... with Julie after school one afternoon, and the sunshine was so perfect. We also got to chat about life which we both needed. 

Visiting... with Ainsley when he stopped by and hemming his jeans for him. It was nice to talk. 

Enjoying... Friday off school with the kids (sorry Josh!) and relishing a slow bedtime with Carly Thursday night since I knew she could sleep in. She played with  my hair and gave me all kinds of hair styles- haha- so fun! Carly did some water painting in the morning and also made the most adorable Barbie library with the books + bookshelf that her Aunt Erica gave her. It was soooo cute! Then later, she and Wyatt put together some Halloween crafts they  had made, and I love all the thought Carly put into choosing which monsters went on which doors upstairs. She's so fun. 

Letting... Carly have her friend Addie over. They play so good and have a great imagination. 

Grateful... Josh took Carly to the land with him on Saturday to spend some time with Grandma. They made a cake together that was super yummy! Meanwhile, I watched Gilmore Girls and journaled and blogged. It was so lovely. 

Playing... rock stacker with Carly & Wyatt and laughing so much. We need that around here. Things have just been so heavy that anything light is quite welcome. 

Crying... laughing at the videos my sister sent of my nephew coming off the meds for his wisdom teeth removal. He was crying about how much he missed his cousins and wanted to eat Taco Bell with them. Haha! Bless his heart! 

Attending... a flower arranging event (in a pumpkin!) with my mom and sister Friday night. It was so much fun, such great company, and we ended the evening with absolutely gorgeous flower arrangements, made up mostly of dahlias. When we were done, Roxanne went with  my boys to Crumbl to get cookies for everyone. Yum!!! When the night was nearly over the boys called me onto the porch and I had a feeling it was about a spider, but they assured me it wasn't. Those liars! It was the biggest spider I have probably ever seen in person aside from a tarantula. {{shivers}}

Sleeping... in Friday, Saturday & Sunday which felt sooooo good. Sleep just does so much good for me. 

Driving... Wyatt to Quincy so he could attend a party with his cousins in their matching costumes.  He was Sully, his cousin Milo was Mike and his little cousin Sweet P was Boo (all from Monsters, Inc.).  They looked great and had so much fun! 

Hosting... Jack's girlfriend and her little brother Saturday and they made pizza and cookies for us. That was nice! Then the twins' friend Easton came over and we got to visit. Teenagers can be hard, but they can also be really fun. 

Feeling... impressed that the twins took their dirt bikes out to the dunes.  I love that they are so adventurous and that their dirt bikes bring them so much joy. 

***

Hahaha!