Departure

 We are less than a week from Josh's departure, and I can't accurately explain how quickly time seems to be passing.  We've definitely made the most of his time here. A beach trip, camping, the zoo, the Wildlife Safari & his Farewell (more on those later) and a lot of quality family time.  He's sent himself everything he'll need for his first few weeks in Marshall, and he's definitely getting excited about the teaching aspect.

Unfortunately, he's also growing more emotional about leaving the boys.  And me.

 Some days I can really talk myself into thinking it's going to be fine.  It's just a few months; We'll talk everyday; I'll be so busy that time will fly by; I don't have to go back to work this fall- I finally get to be a stay-at-home mom like I always wanted...

 But then I will see him hug one of the boys, or he'll tell me I'm beautiful and I'm back to thinking how much this is going to suck.  How much I will miss his help, his advice, his laughter & his hugs.  And how gut wrenching it will be to see the boys miss him, and him miss out on the boys.

I'm a bit like a roller coaster.

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I do have a game plan, though. And that has been my saving grace. Thinking about how to best go about single parenting our three boys has kept me busy.  Creating the best tactics for how to get things done without another adult around has filled my mind as of late.  Especially after Josh left me here with all three boys the other night to have dinner with his siblings.  I got my first true taste of what it's going to be like doing dinner, bath & bedtime all by myself...

 It was ugly.  Wyatt cried the whole time, Jack poured all the bathwater out and onto the floor, and Logan tantrumed because he had picked the wrong book for story time.  It was a nightmare.  But in the end, it was good. I have decided that I will eat all my meals with the boys.  This way I know I am not grouchy just because I'm hungry. (And with breastfeeding, I am finding myself hungry all.the.time!)  I also decided I'll be buying the boys Pull-Ups instead of diapers from now on so they can put them on themselves.  I can't hold Wyatt during bathtime, but if the boys can get in their pajamas independently, then I can hold Wyatt during that time. Also, while the boys are in the tub I will wash my face & brush my teeth so I'm ready for bed, too.  And Wyatt & I will be getting on our jammies along with the twins.  This way we will be in bed even earlier.

In terms of discipline, I read some awesome articles in PARENTS August issue.  This magazine saved me!  There were two articles in particular that spoke to me. One was Lessons from a Zen Mommy.  And the other was Discipline Mistakes All Moms Make.  I will be blogging about each of these articles separately as I am just sure others of you out there could benefit from them!

And for my own sanity, I will be going to bed at 9pm and will be reading a book until I feel tired.  My mom suggested this because I know going to bed will feel sad & lonely (at least in the beginning) and she said having a good book to read will give me something to look forward to each night as I turn in.  We also think it might help with my anxiety because a book can take you out of your own world.

I will be waking up (to an alarm clock) at 6am everyday. I am going to treat parenting these three boys like a real job.  I am going to wake up everyday and hop in the shower, get completely ready (hair & makeup) and get any chores done that need completing before the boys are up at 7am.  

This morning I had my first practice run at this, and it worked out beautifully.  Wyatt woke up to be fed at 5:45am, then I got him back to sleep, and was able to take a shower, get ready, do a load of laundry & change our sheets all before the boys got up.

 The new discipline techniques, along with my personal schedule & the help of all the amazing people supporting me, I think I just might survive what the next few months hold for us.