be here

"Challenges are what make life interesting; 

overcoming them is what makes life meaningful." 

-Joshua Marine 

This weekend motivation came and stayed with us.  

I was so happy to be paid a visit, and the effects of the stay are abundant.

Last week, my house looked like this.

Sink full of dishes...

To-do list items, toys and stuff strewn about the house.

 Laundry not yet put away, cleaning supplies not yet used...

 Piles of the sorting I'd done previously remained where I'd dropped them originally.

 Rooms needed tidying,

 and sheets needed washing.

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Friday Josh and I had date night.  Zodiac (scary!) and a pizza (delicious!) were the perfect start to our weekend.  The movie was long (two and a half hours!), so we got to bed late, but Saturday morning started well despite my lack of sleep.  After a relaxing evening the night before, I felt refreshed.

I woke up with the boys, as is our custom, and Josh slept in.  We moseyed downstairs, watched some cartoons and snuggled on the couch together.  Then we had breakfast and began to play.

The twins love to play at the kitchen table. It's their preferred location.  Well, as of Saturday, they are no longer playing there alone.  This little man figured out how to climb onto the kitchen chairs.  The look of accomplishment on his face when he gets up there is priceless.

I like that the boys are drawn to the heart of our home to play.  

That I can hear their imaginary play behind me while I wash dishes or cook.

A new thing I'm doing is rotating toys. I put some toys in a tote and hide it in the recesses of the twins' bedroom closet.  Recently the trains made an appearance after an extended  absence, and oh what a hit!

Another favorite idea I've implemented is a "Quiet Activity Shelf".  We have puzzles, colorbooks, Uno, matching games and this cool magnetic shape game.  When the house is getting too chaotic, or I am on the phone and need a minute, I can tell them to choose an activity from there, and they know exactly what to do. It's like a wall of magic. Love!

(Here is Jack's take of the elephant.  I love that he didn't use the paper, but made his own version. So cool.)

And here is Logan's.  

He didn't like that Jack didn't use the form. 

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The rest of Saturday was weekend perfection.  Josh woke up and took the boys (all three!!!) to the school for Saturday Social. He said Wyatt was an angel, running, playing and talking.  When he was leaving he said, "We're going to give mommy a break so she can do nothing for two hours."  His saying that was like a gift.  I knew then that he had no expectations of my time.  And so I sat on the living room floor, with my journal in my lap, Guiliana & Bill on E! on the television, and set to work catching up my journal.  It felt so good to just be. To breathe. To space out.  And then to collect my thoughts.

When they got home Josh stuck around for lunch, then left to do an extra session of tutoring.  I planned school for this week, which was no small fete with all brand new curriculum, and played Uno with each of the boys individually.

Saturday night was movie night and Josh made pizza for the boys. They got to eat in the living room while watching Brave.  They love movie night, and how special it is. Jack snuggled me in the recliner when he was done eating, and it felt so good to hold him.  I miss holding them.  My big boys.  

About two weeks ago I was crying to Josh, and subsequently my mom, about how I can't remember the last time I held them on my hip. So much of parenting is like that.  There are these actions that are such a part of everyday life, you don't think to stop and take note of them until it's too late.  

Was it while I was pregnant with Wyatt, before I got too far along?

Was it post c-section sometime?

Was it this summer?

I have racked my brain trying to know. Trying to remember. Trying to feel the sensation of their weight.  Beyond holding them individually... When was the last time I held them together? Hoisted them up, one on each hip, and bore the weight of my beautiful miracles? 

I can't remember.

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Sunday is my morning to sleep in, but I find that if I sleep in too long, I wake up with a migraine. Not cool. So this Sunday, I tried waking up a little earlier. Instead of sleeping until 10am, like I usually do, I got up at 8am. No headache. Awesome!

Plus, I managed to get so much done with the extra time!  I made four loaves of bread, two loaves of cinnamon raisin bread, gave all three boys baths, cleaned house, and rearranged the playroom.  It felt great to accomplish so much and know that the effort would pay off big time this week.

Oh... another thing we did? Hung that picture. Finally. Took about 45 seconds.  45 seconds to put a smile on my face every morning when I open my eyes and see those birches.  So worth it.

Sunday afternoon Joe called Josh and asked if the twins could come play with Aaliyah and Michael outside.  So I got another two hour break! I spent this break watching Teen Mom, one of my guilty pleasures.  It was divine.

And the twins had so much fun outside.  

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It felt so good to wake up this morning knowing that after a weekend of preparation, I was ready for the week.

Our new schedule? It worked beautifully. 

The morning was spent getting ready for the day and playing.  

They played so well, in fact, that I was able to reorganize the entire pantry!  

Josh was home for lunch and after that I put Wyatt down for his nap, and the twins and I got to do school. It felt so awesome to be able to focus completely on the task at hand with no distractions.

Our goals from now to the end of the school year are:

-Learn to write Cunningham independently
-Memorize letter sounds
-Understand patterns
-Read & discuss a story each day
-Learn the numbers 11-20

After school was over, and stickers were assigned to the best work, the boys did their Tag Readers for a half hour.  Then they watched an episode of Sponge Bob and before we knew it, Wyatt was awake.

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 The weather this week is supposed to be off the charts. Today it was 36 degrees. The sun was shining and snow was melting.  We bundled up and took advantage.

 The twins were SO happy to be outside, and to see our neighbor dog, Angel, off her leash and free to play with us.

 They climbed Wind Mountain.

 It's seriously so high!

 I love when I get reminders (like in this picture) of their twin-ness.

 Then we went ice-skating, no skates necessary.

 A stray dog thought it looked fun, so he came to say hi.

And then joined in the fun.  

Jack goes, "His paws are good skaters, mom!"

When we are outside, and the wind is blowing, or the temperatures are frigid, I find myself feeling so proud of these amazing, adaptable boys.  The twins have completely embraced Alaska.  They are willing to suffer a bit of cold if it means they can have an adventure.  

I am so grateful for their built in friendship.  

 They rally each other, climb mountains, giggle and make up games together.  

It gives me some one on one time with Wyatt. Usually he asks me to sing to him.  I oblige, singing Row Row Row Your Boat or Sunshine over and over until he tires of it.

Last week the twins were talking and they asked me who Wyatt's partner was. I told them  he would probably get married someday and that his wife would be his partner.

"No, mom. Jack is my partner," Logan said, as if I were talking about him.  They are both adamant that they will not be getting married but will be each others' partner and live in a house where video games are allowed.  "Yeah," Jack piped up, "Logan's my partner. Who is Wyatt's partner?"  Logan looked at Jack solemnly and said to him with a sad realization, "He doesn't have a partner." 

It broke my heart to see how sad they were for Wyatt not having a twin.  I have wondered when they would start to recognize their twinship and it's uniqueness and I think the time has come.  They see twins on TV or in books and point it out.  They understand that they look alike to outsiders, and have even tried to trick us.

At bedtime a while back Logan looked at me and said, "I'm Jack." Jack jumped right on board and said, "Yeah, and I'm Logan." I said, "I know you guys. I know who you are. You can't trick me."  But I thought it was an important milestone as twins.  They are beginning to understand some of who they are together and what they could get away with.

 Some things can only be experienced as the mother of twins, and other things can only be experienced as the mother of a singleton. And I feel so lucky to be able to experience both.

This is Wyatt's "I'm ready to go inside now" face. Poor little buddy! We managed to stay out for almost an hour, though, and the twins at this point were ready to head for warmth, too!

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Josh and I cannot stop talking about how much we love our littlest boy.  This morning I was like, "Did you ever think you would have three sons?" And he said no way. He thought he'd have sixteen girls like his dad did.  (slight exaggeration)  He still can't believe some days that he has three little boys.

One of our favorite things about Wyatt is his love of books.  He will bring a book, say, "Read it" and then walk backwards, lowering himself into our laps. It's just the cutest thing.  Then he puts his hands over our hands as we hold and turn the pages. He grips kind of tight, like he's holding hands with us. 

It is ever so tender.

Tonight as I worked on this blog post, I listened to random music that was in a file on my desktop. It's music I chose to download shortly before Josh left for Alaska a year and a half ago.  Hearing these songs makes me so emotional.

And maybe that's just what this all boils down to. 

Our family is together. 

We've been together now, for over a year. And because of that, all is well. 

Happiness is so simple.

This little one learning to talk, learning to climb, saying, "I love you"...

His big brothers saying their prayers, doing chores, learning their ABC's...

That Daddy working to provide for us, planning for our future, being here...

And this mama learning to cook, working to be better, finding little things to be grateful for...

All of us together, being a family.

I am so happy to be where I am. To wake up each morning with these boys motivating me to do more, love more, be more.  It just feels so good to be here.