harmony

"Happiness is when

what you think,

what you say,

and what you do

are in harmony."

-Mahatma Gandhi

Things around here have gotten a bit rough around the edges. I've maintained my sanity, and the kids have been well cared for, but things have simply not been running as smooth as I would like.  I think a big part of making change is recognizing it needs to happen in the first place.

I've been noticing that Wyatt's nap time is very stressful for me. The boys used to lay and watch a video... Now they mostly try to wrestle and ask when Wyatt will be up.  I also started noticing I dread getting out of bed in the morning- and not always because I am tired. And the boys have this attitude that I am not liking.  There has been sassy words, eye rolling and a general annoyance at any request.  Also, there have been multiple complaints of boredom.

I knew I wanted something to change. I want nap time to be quiet (obviously) but also fun.  I want the twins to be building characteristics that will help them in the future- including being a team player, having kindness, using manners and building independence wherever they can.

And so last night I sat, pen in hand, writing down everything that came into my mind.

What I want the boys to learn in school...

The characteristics I hope to instill in them...

An ideal schedule of our days...

and what parenting goals I have for myself that can improve our current situation.

Then this morning while reading quotes online, I came across them little gem:

"Action expresses priorities."

- Mahatma Gandhi

And so, Monday morning a new schedule will greet us.  And I can't wait!

We will wake up in the morning and snuggle on the couch watching cartoons.  We will all get ready for the day, which will (once again) include me showering before Josh leaves for work.  We will take vitamins and brush teeth every morning after breakfast.

Midmorning will be play time in the playroom and time for me to check anything on the internet. {Hello, lovely blogs; daily e-mails from my bff Julie; and other little inspirations!!!}

After lunch Wyatt will go down for naps, and then the twins and I will do preschool.  We start a whole new curriculum next week that I am very excited about. We made it through the entire alphabet and are also finished with colors, shapes and the numbers 1-10.  The next eleven weeks while we are here, we will be working on letter sounds, patterns, numbers 11-20 and basic addition.

In the late afternoon we will be sure to get some exercise, either by going outside (it's supposed to be 36 degrees on Monday!!!) or by doing a Move N Groove video in the house.

Before we know it, Josh will be home for the night, and we'll be having dinner and getting ready for bed... Only to wake up {joyfully} and do the whole thing over again.  I really, really hope all the planning and effort that has gone into these changes will not be for nothing! I hope, hope, hope this puts a spring back in my step, and helps our boys feel like they truly are my priority.

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I am going to work hard to be more purposeful with my spare time as well-- especially when it comes to phone calls.  I want to stay close to my mom and sister, but once we start talking, it generally lasts forever (!) so I need to be careful that I only talk to them when it's good timing. 

I also have a goal of doing one small thing with each boy each day.  Read a book, play a simple game, color... It doesn't matter the activity. What matters is that they feel they have my complete attention for some part of the day. I was doing this for a while, then Logan got sick and my plan kinda went out the window.  I know that all three of them, but especially Jack, will benefit from having my full attention. Despite the fact that they are twins, Jack definitely displays more "middle child" behavior, in being more emotionally needy and wanting more one on one time. I want to meet that need, and I know that it will improve his "I'm bored" complaints, as well as let him know how important he is to me.

I will also be focusing on being more physical with them. My sister told me that she read somewhere that boys are hugged and kissed less often than girls.  That broke our very hearts.  So I have been hugging and kissing those three like there's no tomorrow.

I also want to focus on praising when they do something well.  This is one area where having twins is the best! If I tell Logan he did a good job using his manners, Jack is dropping "pleases" and "thank you's" every other word.  It's the best. And whatever I can get the big boys to do, little brother copies... so it's win-win-win! ;)

In terms of misbehavior, I will be using timer timeouts, even though it's annoying to do, and I will also be using gentle reminders (no yelling!).  Logan does really well with gentle reminders. If I shout out a command, his natural response is to test it.  It doesn't work for either of us.

With Jack, I find I am too quick to punish, when all he really needs is to be validated and redirected. Say Logan took his toy- all he really wants is for me to say, "Oh, man. That must have made you upset. How about you play with the airplanes instead?" 90% of the time, that works.  And for the rest of the time? He just needs a break.  My mom suggested sending him to his room for a break, and inviting him to come back down (on his own) whenever he's ready.  I think it will work really well for him, and let him feel more in control of the situation.

And lastly...

Next year when we get back here, I know that I am going to have my hands full taking care of all three boys and the house on my own while Josh throws himself, heart and soul, into his masters program.  My goal in preparing us for that is to complete as much as possible this year.  This means those things on my to-do list are going to get done!

I ordered the items necessary to get my recipes in order; I am going to complete that phone book; as well as catch up all three boys' scrapbooks.  I am also working on sorting through every square inch of the house, and getting rid of anything we don't need or use.  It's a sort of early spring cleaning, I guess.  It feels great!

I hope to come to you blogging next week as a mama full of happiness, 

floating on the high of finding what works for us!

Happy Weekend!