Around Here: Week 31 2022

 {July 31- August 6th}

Opening with a letter from Mary Katherine Backstrom
that moved me to tears:

"Hey, friend.
I wish I could reach straight through this screen and give you a hug.  
Tell you things are gonna work out.
That it'll all be okay. 
You probably wouldn't believe me.
You'd probably roll your eyes and be like "things are only getting harder."
I guess that's a possibility.
But think of this, okay?
We are gonna do these hard things together. 
You are NOT alone. 
The world is big and scary and cattywampus as all get out, but it's full of humans just like you and me. 
Just like the two of us, all confused and stressed and wishing there was another grown up to take over. There's probably  a few hundred million of us doing this same thing right now. 
Staying up too late.
Worrying about all the tings. 
Wondering how we can fix them.
The truth is, we probably can't. 
But we can all keep trying, together.
We aren't alone. YOU aren't alone.
And perhaps, tonight, that can be enough. 
*squeezes you tight*
You're doing a good job.
Drink some water and go to sleep. 
This crazy world will still be here tomorrow.
And in it, all your friends."

Heading into smoke season:

Sentimental Items:

My little pillow
My security/comfort object all my life.
Used to be blue and white gingham, with 
Mary Had A Little Lamb on the front.

My "cold" blanket. 
Mom got it at a baby shower for me.
It lasted nearly 40 years. 

My "bubba" (what my kids call stuffed animals)
I have had him from our first year of marriage until now. 
Nearly twenty years. Loved nearly to death and now missing an eye. 

My little brother Dallas

Carly pretending to sleep.
It made me laugh because my mom has pictures of me doing the same. 

Books I got rid of!

Beginning Shelf

Ending Shelf

Close Up Shelf One

Close Up Shelf Two

Close Up Shelf Three

Close Up Shelf Four

Close Up Shelf Five

Letting... Carly play and make messes everywhere.  Anything for her to entertain herself and not be on a screen. Luckily cleaning her messes is usually pretty quick, except in her bedroom. When that's a mess, it's quite overwhelming! 

Swimming... and feeling grateful to be out of the 100+ degree weather.  It's cooled down a bit (upper nineties) and it's so much more bearable. 

Watching... Alone on Hulu (season 5) with the kids and just really enjoying it. 

Reading... Hotel Nantucket (I love a good Elin Hilderbrand read for summer!) in addition to listening to Crying in H Mart.  Hotel Nantucket was such a feel good book, and I adore her descriptions of everything summer. Highly recommend. (Other favs by her include: Barefoot and The Island.)

Exploring... a theory that the twins and I had COVID in January 2020. I  know that it wasn't "technically" here then... but Logan was hospitalized for breathing issues and his Influenza A and Influenza B tests both came back negative. He and Jack missed a solid week of school, plus the weekends on either side, and would go from laying in bed to laying on the couch, and back again. 
Then when I got sick, it was the sickest I have ever been, and I would nap at least twice a day and didn't get to feeling better for over three weeks.  I also had to visit the doctor and was put on a nebulizer treatment multiple times a day for breathing issues.  
Anyway, it was over three weeks before I was able to resume any normal duties other than getting the kids to school and home again. 
All of this research and wondering is because I think that its COVID that triggered my fibromyalgia. I remained so tired during all of quarantine that I would nap daily and still not feel rested. Then my muscles started hurting and I found exercise all but impossible. 
There's no reason I'm sharing this... I guess I just was thinking about it and wonder if anyone else has thought they had COVID before COVID was a thing. 
(sidenote- I live in Washington state, where the first patient was traced; and I had visited Sacred Heart Hospital in Spokane a week prior for Logan's neurology appointment.  Spokane is where they had the first dedicated COVID unit.) 

Feeling... so overwhelmed by my overly messy house. It's always hard when we are all home together. So we worked all week getting stuff done.  Organizing and sorting and cleaning.  The kids worked outside, weeding, and I sorted through everything downstairs and deep cleaned my bedroom.   When the house is clean and tidy, I find it helps my peace of mind. I sorted through our rock collection, our games and the books downstairs.  

Proceeding... to sorting through my Unread Shelf, as well as all the other books I own.  I don't know what got into me, but it felt so good! I only kept "read" books that I loved and knew I would look back on or re-read.  And as for "unread" books, I only kept ones I was really excited about. I was able to consolidate almost all my unread books onto one bookshelf and after summer, it should all be able to fit on there. I ended up donating the books to our local used book store, and as for the other items I downsized, I listed a lot of them for sale on Facebook market. 

Researching... suicide rates in the United States and being disturbed to learn that they have increased by 30% between 2000 and 2020.  I wish so badly that I could save everyone who feels so terribly to feel taking their life will improve things. And I equally wish I could save all their loved ones from the anguish of losing them.  

Laughing... at how ridiculous George is when the twins are gone. He misses them so much, but won't accept Carly or Wyatt as replacements. Silly cat. Just sits at the top of the stairs and meows forlornly, wishing his boys would come home. 
Can you imagine how awful that will be when they go to college? I think perhaps I'll sit up there with him, George mewling me and me sobbing, both missing our guys. 

Receiving... the best news ever!!! Josh was able to locate his dad's retirement accounts! We had thought some existed, but since his stroke, Carl hasn't been able to help us find them. Well, with a little computer sleuthing Josh found the accounts and oh the relief for his parents! Such a blessing!

Learning... the difference between a hotel and a motel thanks to Wyatt who asked.  We did a little reading and found out that a hotel typically has multiple floors and more rooms, usually 100 rooms and internal corridors; whereas motels may only have one or two floors with fewer rooms, easily accessible from the parking lot. 

Being triggered... by a bit of wildfire smoke moving into our area which always causes me to worry about Wyatt and to feel claustrophobic due to keeping him indoors. So I did what I always do when I feel out of control. I did what I could.  I added another air quality app to my phone (that makes three) and found our box fans and 20x20 filters and extra large rubber bands.  I attached the filters to the box fans, placing one in Wyatt's bedroom and one downstairs, using the rubberbands. 
Then I made sure to take his peak flow so I would know if his numbers dropped, and even researched buying our own air quality monitor on Amazon as I often smell smoke that doesn't show up on the apps. 
Thankfully the wildfire smoke went away after two days, but I felt good to be prepared as this is usually smoke season for us. 
*the apps I use: Air Matters, AirNow, and AirQualityWA

Running... all the errands at the start of the week to try and have a strong beginning.  I took Wyatt and Carly to get their COVID boosters (no side effects, yay!); picked up glasses for those whose new glasses orders were in; picked up prescriptions at the pharmacy; and took Wyatt for a blood draw that his pulmonologist asked for back in November. (#badmom)  He had to fast for the blood draw, and we kept forgetting and not doing it, and finally I was like, WE ARE DOING THIS! We tried for a day last week but Wyatt forgot and ate breakfast before I came downstairs. So when Carly woke up that day this week, she made a note that said, "Don't eat" and stuck it on the fridge to remind Wyatt. haha! Best sister ever. 

Meal planning... per usual, but making a change from grocery shopping every two weeks, to grocery shopping every week.  Josh thought this might help us save money, but also would make the grocery haul more reasonable in size and duration. (When we go every two weeks it is nearly impossible for me to go by myself, and we always end up needing two carts, and shopping takes forever, and it just sucks.) Our goal is to stick to a budget of $150/week.  This first week I spent $180. So a little over, but not bad, and overall a huge savings versus what I would spend on a two week grocery trip. 

Wishing... that we could return to "precedented" times as I am tired of the crazy expense of filling up my gas tank and feeding my family. It's really getting old being broke all the time just from driving a car and feeding my kids. 

Holding... Carly after she started crying on the way to the grocery store. We had driven by this woman pushing a stroller, and Carly goes, "Ohhh, she has a baby." And I don't know why, but I told her, "No honey. That stroller is full of her belongings because she's homeless. There's no baby in there." I mean, it was true, but I don't know why I told her. (I should have known better.)

She instantly burst into tears and told me, "I really wish you hadn't told me that." So I had to pull over to hug and comfort her.  I asked her why homelessness makes her so sad (It makes me sad, too, but I was curious her thoughts on it) and she said, "If you don't have a house, how can you be together?" (like with your family) It was so precious. I just love this tender hearted girl of mine so much. 

Frustrated... when our garbage disposal started leaking and needed to be replaced.  Thankfully Josh is very handy, and could replace it himself, but it still hurt to spend $200 at Lowe's on a new one. 

Enjoying... Carly at this age. A few cute stories: Carly told me one night at bedtime that she wants to be an adult. I asked what that meant, and she said it meant having more chores (how right is she?! ha!) and being responsible. So I have promised to keep that in mind and let her know if any new chores need doing.  Another thing she has been saying lately after she eats a treat is that she needs to eat a healthy food.  So the other day I found her watching her tablet, with the blueberries and raspberries alongside her on the table. 

Hosting... Logan and Jack's friends for a sleepover, where they ate spaghetti & meatballs with us, played hide & seek through the neighborhood and then took a night swim in our pool.  Dinner had us all in giggles.  Middle school humor, I tell you. You can't help but smirk and then join in the laughter. Those boys, oh how I love them all.  My stomach hurt from laughing. 

Picking... a bunch of my hydrangea blooms to attempt drying them.  They are so beautiful, and I'm so happy my bush is blooming so abundantly this year. (Unfortunately my drying didn't work. They died and withered. But I enjoyed them while they lasted!)

Laughing... when I got in the shower and saw that Logan had changed my "I love summer" foam letter message to "I hate summer. Lol." What a stinker. Hehe.

Loving... my dedicated skater boy.  Despite all manner of injuries, scrapes and bruises, he persists. 

Also loving my husband for the amazing, fun dad that he is. The twins had a double sleepover with their twin friends which meant my entire downstairs became gaming central, so Wyatt, Carly, Josh and I escaped upstairs.  While I sorted books and Carly slept, Josh played Mario with Wyatt for hours. Oh the fun they had. Their giggles reaching past our bedroom doors and making me smile as well. 

Grateful... for Kelle Hampton at Enjoying The Small Things for her encouragement during this back-to-school/end-of-summer transition. The change from summer to fall is always hard for me as I love summer, and the new school year further impresses upon me the speed at which my kids are aging. 

***

I'm dead.
This is SO funny!

Words of Affirmation are my love language. 
Especially when Josh compliments me in motherhood.
So telling me I was a "fun mom" filled my bucket right up!

A friend shared this picture of pansies, and I love it.
I have always loved pansies because my grandma's name is Pansy. 

I was interested to learn that there is a specific name for fear of cancer.
I am always convinced I have different types of cancer based on random symptoms.
I exhaust myself.