Around Here: Week 47 2024

 {November 17-23rd}

Oops!
Quartz countertop vs. ceramic mug

A birthday letter for "Aunt Shally" from Daphne. 
I cannot even.

My three guys

Spending... Sunday doing chores, cleaning house, making sourdough and (!) decorating for Christmas!

Delighting... in Carly's joy over every little thing about Christmas. She was SO happy to decorate for Christmas, to get out her Christmas books and to be reunited with all her favorite Christmas tree ornaments. 

Living... with football on in the background.  It's the soundtrack of our life during this time of year and it honestly comforts me. 

Reading... Granted with Carly (it's the cutest book about a new fairy who grants wishes); All The Quiet Places which was a hard, sad, but really good read about life as a Native American off the reservation; From Here to the Great Unknown by Lisa Marie Presley which was so sad and disturbing and deeply moving; and finally starting A Wild and Heavenly Place by Robin Oliviera, who also wrote one of my favorite books- My Name is Mary Sutter. It feels so good to be reading again. And (!) I hit my Goodreads reading goal for 2024! Fifty books!!!

Accepting... my new son-in-law whose name is "Wimple" and who is a set of teeth Carly got in her dental play set. This girl's imagination is so fantastic. She has married Wimple, who has a British accent and she always makes sure he is with us for bedtime stories. Haha! 

Jealous... of how much Hadley loves all the men in our household. As soon as Josh or the twins sit down, she is snuggling herself among their feet or on their ankles. I am so crazy jealous she doesn't lay with me more often. I teased the boys I need my feet to stink more so she'll like me too. 

Celebrating... my forty-second birthday on a Monday (why is Monday the worst day for a birthday? I don't know, but I can assure you it is!) and keeping Jack home with me. He just couldn't get up and go that day. To celebrate, I opened two gifts I had ordered for myself but set aside for the day: a new cozy tree & cabin mug from Natural Life and a dress from Adore Me.  The mug matches the rainbow mug I also have from Natural Life, and the dress fits perfect and will be a great dress to wear in winter. 

Surprised... when Josh took a half day on my birthday so that we could leave early to head to Wenatchee to celebrate my birthday with dinner & a cake with my mom, dad and sister's family. It was so sweet and unexpected! Thanks babe!

Beloved... and so spoiled at my party! Josh got me flowers, I got myself a puzzle, Josh got me a Crumbl cookie, Carly decorated the house with a banner & balloons and got me candy last time we were at the store together.  My mom and dad got me a cat toy the kittens will love, a Nutcracker sweatshirt, a book stamp that stamps the page like a notary (so cool!), a diamond dot, a salad bowl and the most thoughtful card! She also set out my baby items and baby photo album which was so fun to thumb through. My sister got me a spa kit, make up, lip gloss and lotion, and my brother blew me away with the most beautiful and thoughtful birthstone necklace. It is stunning. Later in the week Josh's sister Julie stopped by with a beautiful book mug that feels so good in my hand (if you know, you know) and the sweetest Anne of Green Gables book set.

Bummed... that Jack had a really hard Tuesday with lots of appointments. We got him set up with a new counselor at Renew, a place where he can have long term counseling. At our clinic you only get 4-6 meetings with your counselor as it's just temporary. We also saw his doctor and increased his meds and made a plan for the future if this dose doesn't work out. He's currently at 40mg, but if he's not feeling better by December 1st, I can bump him to 60mg with just a phone call. So that feels hopeful and like I have a plan moving forward which I haven't really  had up to this point. While he ups his meds for the next two weeks, he can't drive, which is really hard for him.  After having his freedom, to lose it like this feels really terrible. But I keep reminding him it's to keep him safe; it's worth it; and it's just 14 days. 
I can't remember if I shared this before, but the reason for this is that anti-depressants have a tendency to increase energy before they increase mood. So you might suddenly have the energy to carry out your suicidal plans while your mood is still low. So to account for this risk, we make sure he's not alone for two weeks and doesn't drive for two weeks.

Breaking... down when I dropped Carly off late at school and the secretary asked, "Need a minute?" Her kindness and sensing exactly what I needed as a very downtrodden Jack waited for me in the car was enough to make tears prick my eyes and I was able to tell both secretaries and the principal why I have had to cancel so many sub jobs lately and why Carly was late some days.  I told them that Jack has been suicidal and that we're navigating it the best we can, but we are really out of our depth. They assured me that it was sooo good he was talking to me, and Abby offered to come and give me hug. "I give great hugs" she said as she made her way over to me. I can assure you she does give great hugs and I just sobbed as she held me. People in this world are so good, and I'm so grateful to know so many of them. They were all completely understanding and said that I was exactly where I was supposed to be, taking care of my family, and to reach out if I needed anything. It meant so much and took a huge weight off my chest as I had been feeling so bad about canceling jobs on days when Jack couldn't make it into school. 

Making... my returns at UPS. Why does this always make me feel like I deserve a trophy?

Feeling... better emotionally and working hard to get shit done. It feels nice to be myself a little more than I have been lately. What a relief!

Paying... so much every month for car insurance for the four of us. Josh and I have comprehensive/full coverage on our cars, but the twins only have liability, and it's still $632 per month! Ouch!!

Buying... one special item for Christmas each year to add to my decoration collection. I read this somewhere and it helped me feel less overwhelmed when I see the amazing displays in stores. I just choose one thing that is my favorite and purchase that, knowing I'll cherish it for years to come. My two most recent favs are the gold trees I got at a boutique shop here in town last year and the year before. 

Thankful... that Josh is able to stay at home until the boys (mainly Jack) leave for school in the mornings because battling that out on my own is utterly exhausting. Plus I am not as persuasive as their dad is. 

Noticing... that Carly has been extra emotional and has been needing more snuggles. I imagine it's because she's picking up on all the things that are going on around here. She's such a sensitive little spirit. 

Applications... all around as the twins are applying for jobs at Arby's, Papa Murphey's, Dollar Tree, etc.

Teasing... Carly relentlessly about how she made an alphabet gratitude book (with the ENTIRE alphabet) and not one letter was about how she's grateful for her mother. For H she put Hadley (our cat) so for M she put Maggie (our other cat) and she didn't think of it for other letters. But you better bet her dad and three brothers were all in her gratitude book. Stinker!

Finishing & ordering... our Christmas cards. My sister snapped a pic of our family on the couch in my parents' living room at my birthday and then she put it in some AI generator and made different backgrounds for me. They're going to be great! I shopped with Walmart this year, not Shutterfly because we don't have the money for Shutterfly. So I hope they turn out good!

Dealing... with rain and rain and rain! I'm ready for blue skies or snow! Enough of this wet!

Catching... up my journal and feeling SO behind on the blog. It's like I can't find a minute to slow down and catch it up! Maybe during Thanksgiving break I can get somewhere!

Frustrated... with Logan who accidentally hit a girls' car in the parking lot where he'd been shopping. It was the girl he was shopping with! Oh man, these teenagers are going to be the death of me, I tell you!

Dealing... with adult shit that is private and HARD. It's so true what they say, that we all have our silent struggles or stories that aren't ours to share. For someone like me, who is such an open book, it's really hard to battle alone. 

Attending... Carly's school assembly where she got an award for being such a great leader and example, and then afterwards we went out to ice cream, Baskin & Robbins, her favorite! 

Deciding... to start a 504 for Jack who is still struggling to get to school, to stay at school, and to attend certain classes.  

Snuggling... Piper as a way to deal with my stress and lower my cortisol. It's crazy  how much it works. She is warm and calm and always leaves me feeling better than when I joined her for a couch snuggle. So grateful for our pets. 

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Little Shelly:

My grandparents

My brother Dalton