The Cunningham Family: Around Here: Week 28 2025

{July 6th - July 12th, 2025}

Texts with teens.
I hate when he calls me mother,
but I melt when he says he loves me.

Peep Josh's feet on the scaffolds for painting the house.
My stomach flips just looking at this picture.

Grateful... for the work that @heytiffanyroe does around healing our trauma (Feel/Deal/Heal is her slogan) and loving this quick snapshot she shared that I can refer back to. It starts with "feel" which is about getting present and labeling my emotions. Once I name and validate them, I can move on to step two which is "deal". During "deal" I can challenge my thoughts and work to nurture myself instead of numbing myself. And finally, the third step is "heal", during which we make conscious decisions to live from our values, not from our past experiences. My therapist is really helpful on the healing step because she always talks about making sure my decisions are "aligned with my values".

Celebrating... our cat Maggie's second birthday! We are grateful everyday that we ended up with those two cute cats. They're the best.

Sharing... our chore charts for those who are curious. We do chores weekly (every Sunday) and the chores rotate weekly. I laminated them so that I can write on them, cross chores out, and put the kids' names on them. One kid is dogs; one kid is cats; and one kid is dishes. Those jobs are daily. But the other chores (like cleaning their bathroom and bedroom) are just on Sunday. Sometimes I feel bad for how many chores I have the kids do, but it typically takes an hour (two at the most) for them to complete, and I've actually read quite a few articles recently that say how good chores are for children. Like this article by the American Academy of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry that says kids who do chores have higher self-esteem; are more responsible and better able to deal with frustration, adversity and delayed gratification as adults. (Sorry kids. The chores are here to stay.)

Frustrated... that when the twins went and rode their dirtbikes with Ferris (my sister's son) they rode with him on the bike with them, which is not only unsafe, but also hard on the bikes' suspension. I am just so absolutely exhausted of parenting.

Loving... having fresh flowers around the house. Safeway is typically where I get my fresh flowers because they have a lot of inexpensive options. Although if I lived near Costco, I might get them there as well.

Driving... my four kids plus Ferris to Wenatchee on Monday so I could make raspberry jam with my mom. We make it every summer and I swear that jam is what gets me through the winter. It is so delicious! Tastes like summer!

Laughing... at the way Molly (our old cat who now lives with my parents) always licks me and my kids' heads when we come visit. She will find an opportunity to climb behind you if you're on the couch, or put her paws on your shoulder if you're at the bar, so she can lick our heads. She's so silly.

Speaking... with my counselor tucked away in my dad's home office after making jam, while my parents watched the kids for me. We talked about how I need more breaks and that my brain needs more breaks. I need to recharge my battery and spend some time reading or watching a show so I can set down my worries for a while.

Heading... home from Wenatchee with a different cousin (Milo, whom we traded for Logan) and again so happy for my kids to have the same cousin memories from summer that I did. On the drive home we had our windows down on the freeway, and it turned into a competition to see who could keep their hands out the window despite the multitude of bugs smacking at 70mph into our fingers and palms. We were laughing so hard and screaming every time an insect smacked us. It made for a really fun and fast drive home.

Taking... Wyatt to see the orthotics clinic to get some shoe inserts to help with his achilles pain, and also ordering some foot braces that should help him stretch out that tendon. This poor kid!

Keeping... Carly home this week from gymnastics since she was not feeling well. She was bummed to miss it, but sometimes we just need rest.

Happy... to see the brothers swimming together, which I know is really good for everyone, but especially good for Jack's mental health. It's a triple whammy really because he is able to laugh with his brothers; be in the sunshine; and move his body, all of which is good for his depression.

Getting... a pedicure with my friend Jodi which was lovely (the massage!) and looks so cute! (I got all white which I feel makes me look more tan than I am. Hah!) It was nice to spend time with Jodi and chat all things motherhood. Our sweet baby boys will be freshmen in the fall and we can scarcely believe it!

Running... errands when my mom came to town for the afternoon Wednesday and feeling grateful she was willing to come so I could get some things crossed off my list, have some alone time, and the kids could have some Nanny time! (I was proud of myself for asking for help, and beyond thankful that she was willing.)

Asking... Josh to take Logan to get his hand x-rayed. (In addition to encouraging me to find some down time, Dr. Hunter also suggested I ask for help when I need it, so I'm proud of myself for asking.) He needed an x-ray because he was concerned about not growing as much/as quickly as Jack (his identical twin), so his neurologist suggested getting a bone age test, which is done via an x-ray.
The next day we got the call that his bone age is 18, and that he's likely done growing. Sorry, Logan. You're gonna be the short twin kid.

Grounding... the twins. Again. More. When I tell you I am exhausted and sick of parenting... it doesn't begin to touch it. We told them at the start of summer that if they could follow the rules, they'd earn more freedom, including a later curfew. Instead it feels like we're stepping backward and having to even further limit their freedom because they're not carrying their side of the equation, which is responsibility. Lord give me strength.

Suffering... insomnia. I have never in my life suffered from insomnia. Late nights? Yes. Good books? For sure. Sick children? More than my share. But I have never just not been able to sleep. Suddenly, I turn 42, hit perimenopause, can no longer see things close up, start having irregular cycles, and suffer from horrible bouts of insomnia. It's the worst.

Walking... outside in hopes it would improve my sleep at night, and it did! Hallelujah. I think it also helped me shed some of the stress I've been carrying from parenting. I was inspired to give it a try by my sister who has been taking hot mom walks (I call them stupid mental health walks... but same idea) since spring.

Rolling... my eyes at Carly who never wants to unload the dishwasher (her daily chore), and finds every excuse in the book to stop mid-job. (She has to go to the bathroom; she's hungry; she forgot to finish something upstairs...)

Starting... This Tender Land for book club, but abandoning it after a bit. I'm just struggling to read right now. And really hoping it gets better because I miss it.

Taking... Wyatt to physical therapy where we learned about his achilles tendonitis and learned of some exercises he could do each day to improve it. Fingers crossed the exercises help!

Decluttering... my entire kitchen, top to bottom, with my sister who drove over all by herself to help me. (I don't know what I did to deserve that girl, but I sure am grateful for her!) We got rid of SO much stuff, and the cupboards, pantries and drawers look amazing!

Trying... chicken tacos in the crockpot for the first time after our kitchen decluttering, and we enjoyed them SO much! I was proud of myself for trying a new recipe (new recipes tend to stress me out) and overjoyed that the kids and I enjoyed them!

Surviving... Josh's first 5-day work week. It was a doozy with our big kids being home grounded, but I made it. Only seven more weeks... (melting face emoji)

Spending... my Saturday blogging (I am determined to get myself caught up before summer is over!) while Josh was at the land working with his brother.

Reading... about ADHD on Upworthy and learning that instead of more demands, a heavier workload and too many major life changes leading to stress and the demise of people with ADHD, it's actually the opposite. They thrive with more background noise & chaos because the quiet can amplify their negative self-talk, racing thoughts, and and impulsive behavior. It feels counterintuitive, but we bought Logan a five speed because having to shift actually keeps him more focused on the road. This is also why he works better with music in his ears.

Loving... summer Carly. She has unlimited time for all of her brilliant ideas, and there are so many of them. The first thing I've noticed this summer is how important it is to her that her food be aesthetically pleasing. She loves nothing more than making an enticing plate or bowl. She's been playing a ton with her fake food, which has been in the shed for maybe six months. I love how taking a toy out of the rotation increases its enjoyment tenfold. She's also been playing a lot of little Lego since Wyatt and I moved some of the small Lego out of his room and into the kitchen/dining area. She also came across some marbles in her rock collection, and wanted to make a marble run. Well, we don't have one, so I told her she'd have to get creative. Next thing I know, she's using the Magnetix to make a marble run and has created it almost entirely in rainbow order. She's amazing.
I also loved the Barbie classroom she created one afternoon, complete with hanging backpacks, bookshelves, and a class pet (a dog) with shoes. Of course. She also played Tapple this week with Milo & Wyatt, which was fun.
I also love the notes she leaves around the house. When her cousin was here, he needed a towel for the shower, so she left one outside the door for him with a sticky note that said, "Dry yourself with me" Hah! And for herself she put a sticky note on the bathroom mirror that said, "Cut melatonins" complete with little drawings of scissors & pills. So adorable. (Speaking of melatonin, I am planning to get Carly off of it. I have heard conflicting information and just want to keep it to an "as needed" item for us, so we're using it a little less each week.)

Doing... a puzzle (just a small one- 300 pieces) and remembering how much I love them. It felt really good to do it, and made me happy to be sitting so still and to feel so focused.

***

"Magic exists.

Who can doubt it, when there are rainbows and wildflowers,

the music of the wind and the silence of the stars?

Anyone who has loved has been touched by magic.

It is such a simple and

such an extraordinary part

of the lives we live."

-Nora Roberts