{April 27th - May 3rd}
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| {This wishie floated into my van while it was parked in the garage. Hi Grandpa!} |
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| List of to do's to maintain my sanity |
Filling... my gas tank up in what felt like the gas tank fill up of shame. Haha! I had forgotten I needed gas, and drove Carly to school, running late, in my pajamas, and knew I had to get gas immediately. So there I stood at the pump in my hot pink crocs and pj bottoms. Oh man!
Trying... to get okay with Carly doing her own hair. She always wants to do it, but she needs practice. So I'm trying to be flexible when I can about letting her go wild. So on the weekends I let her, and even some days at school (especially if she had a bath the night before) but other days I do it. It's so hard to let go of control over that!
Nearly crying... when my friend Amy sent me photos of Logan umping at her sons' baseball game. I was so grateful to have a sneak peek into his first job. She said he did such a great job, despite some hecklers, and was completely professional. Gosh, I'm so proud of this kid I could explode!
Setting... up a "gym" for Carly in the garage with a twirling bar, cheese mat and gymnastic mat so she can practice gymnastics even more at home. This means I will be sacrificing parking in the garage for a while. But it's something I'm willing to do for her passion.
Seeing... my sister-in-law try on a wedding dress she ordered. It's a cool service where you pay a little money and they ship you the dress to try on in your own home and then you can either send it back or pay more to purchase it. Her and Josh's little brother Samuel will be getting married in the fall of 2026.
Letting... the twins spend a lot of time with their friends Kendal, Kendall and Paislee. We refer to them as "the Kendals and Paislee". Haha! They are the sweetest girls and I'm grateful my boys have them as their friends.
Facing... some really hard mental health stuff with my kids at the beginning of the week, and it made for a rough start. We were up together until 2:00am. But these are the things we do for our kids. We show up. We show up when we're tired. We show up when we're overwhelmed. We show up when it feels like we have nothing left to give.
Attending... counseling with Jack this week. He's been feeling suicidal since spring break ended and he keeps having nightmares about attempting suicide and not being successful. After the attempts in these dreams, he's a vegetable. He's in his complete right mind, but he can't move or communicate. So awful. These dreams are not helping with his insomnia. His counselor suggested we follow up on his sleep issues with both the sleep doctor (doing a sleep study) and the Ear, Nose & Throat (ENT) doctor to see if he needs to get his tonsils out as they can sometimes contribute to snoring/sleep issues.
Skipping... Jazzercise after that rough night with Jack and instead hanging out with Carly & Wyatt, which my heart needed.
Canceling... on my sister. She was going out of town and I was supposed to watch her youngest for her while she was gone, but I just couldn't imagine juggling one more child on top of everything that's going on around here. Thankfully my parents stepped up and will watch her, and my sister was so gracious about my canceling. What a nightmare. I am just so weary and jumpy and tired and anxious. It's a lot.
Subbing... in my favorite kindergarten classroom and being really grateful for the students who are an awesome distraction. Oh how I love them.
Seeing... the podiatrist for Wyatt who has been in a lot of pain in his legs and feet as of late. This appointment was a long time coming. Unfortunately the doctor was not kind or encouraging. She gave us referrals to get orthotics and to see a physical therapist, but she really didn't give us a lot of information or hope. Poor Wyatt. (In case you missed it- his achilles tendons are incredibly tight, so his foot can really only sit at a 90 degree angle, it can't go to an 80 or 70 degree angle, the way you or I could if we lifted our toes toward our shins.)
Attending... Jazzercise Wednesday afternoon and being so glad I went. It's always the right thing. Bonus! I showed up matching my friend (and our instructor) Amy. So fun!
Subbing... for fourth and then fifth grade at the alternate location where they are since our school closed due to electrical issues in the building. This is likely where Carly will attend next year, and for the most part it is a very cool campus, fun and convenient... but it breaks my heart because there isn't a playground there. And the thought of Carly losing that last little piece of her childhood (along with all the current students that are attending there) just breaks my heart. Sidenote- our secretaries are freaking amazing. They are the moms of the school. They know who is where and what is what and they work amidst constant interruptions. They blow me away!
Sensing... my anxiety approaching like a storm I can see in the distance. I need to make sure that I am taking care of myself, no matter what is going on with the kids, so I can be there for them. I have to put on my oxygen mask first. You know? My jaw is tense, my arms feel like they are levitating, and I am just on edge.
Flipping... the calendar from April to May, which I always enjoy. A fresh start!
Watching... Love on the Spectrum, which is just the most heartwarming show. If you need to feel good about life and the world, go watch it.
Grocery shopping... with Carly and picking mangoes to try as a new food. So fun!
Sending... Carly off to take her reading SBA (state) test and hoping she does her absolute best. Third grade is when the rubber meets the road of school. Things get suddenly really hard in nearly every subject, and in addition to that, they start state testing. It's been a lot, but I am so proud of our girl!
Spending... as much time as possible outside lately to help combat my anxiety. I woke up and walked outside both days this weekend and spent lots of time outside on our porch swing listening to the bird song and meditating. I also ordered Coping Skills cards and Affirmation cards from Tiffany Roe. I am hoping they will help me get back on track. I also made a list (with my sister's help) of things I need to do to maintain my sanity.
Thankful... for Aunt Julie this week who met Carly at her school for her spring BBQ since I had a sub job that day. What a blessing our family is for our kiddos.
Taking... Carly to gymnastics and being so proud of her high beam work. She has improved so much from where she started, and her grit and determination is a sight to behold.
Crying... and worrying over Logan after he made some choices that I knew weren't true to him and that I knew could have ended badly. Good lord, parenting teens is hard. There aren't even words. But I found myself really grateful for Josh (even though we fought quite a bit this week over parenting) because he took Logan with him to visit his brother who was camping just outside town. I think Logan needed that time in nature with family.
Grateful... to Jack for making pizza and cookies for movie night Saturday so I could just blog my little heart out. I haven't been able to get caught up at all this year it seems!
Beginning... a social media break May 1st and hoping to take the month of May off to increase my mental well being and the amount of reading I'm doing.
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