around here: week 19 2021

 {May 9-15th}

{Carly picked her own clothes}

Taking... pictures of the twins with Josh at their baseball game this week (which my parents attended- thanks mom & dad!) and feeling shocked at how big they are.  They truly have gone from boys to men it feels like this year (at least physically) and it constantly surprises me.  

Going... to the eye doctor again this week, only this time with the twins, for yearly exams and new glasses.  I am always shocked at how fast and easy it is now compared to when they were younger and I had Carly in a stroller, etc.  

Catching... Wyatt stacking all.over.the.place! He stacked all the cream of his tiny oreos; hot wheels in the bathroom, and cups in the kitchen.  The kid is a stacking fool!

Grateful... that Josh and I both put each other first.  Every morning I wake up and make his salad for his lunch, and he makes the bed for me.  It's a really nice way to start the day being there for each other and making each other feel cared for. 

Grocery shopping... for the first time in forever (Josh has been doing it since COVID) and realizing after Carly and I pulled up to the checkout that we were going to need a second cart once it was all bagged.  Thankfully Carly is up to anything, and despite not being able to see over the cart, she helped me push that second cart all the way to the van.  She's awesome! (Next week, however, I will be going on a day when the twins are home and one of them can come with me! Hah!)

Enjoying... our first watermelon of the season which delighted Carly to no end! 

Taking... care of myself this week by attending counseling (Yay for DoctoronDemand!) and my follow up CPAP appointment to check in on how my sleep & breathing are doing. 

Facetiming... with my sister and niece and just feeling so grateful they are in my life.  My sister is a lifeline and Romy is simply a delight.  She is funny and articulate and demanding and sweet, and all of it together just makes her the most fun!

Listening... to "Learning To Let You Go" by JJ Heller on Youtube music, and crying every time it comes on. "Growing up is hard to do.  I know because I'm growing up with you."

"You were never mine to keep. You were always just on loan.

So have a little patience with me, cause I'm learning to let you go."

Signing... Carly up for her very own library card this week after visiting there to check out some books (in person! finally!) She was so proud, writing her little name on the back, and checking out her own stack, it was a moment for this book-loving mama for sure!

Attending... a Prayer Writing course via Mine To Tell (Ashmae & Kathy are the best, most encouraging coaches) and deciding that I need more writing in my life.  So I signed up for their yearlong program where we meet and are encouraged to write every Tuesday & Thursday (via zoom).  I am so excited to get some of the stories in my head out and on paper.  It has me feeling very excited for the future.  

Buying... a Venus fly trap when I saw them at the grocery store.  We had one growing up, and I remember being fascinated by the idea of a carnivorous plant. So the kids have been catching ants to feed it and watching videos about Venus Fly Trap's on youtube. 

Cheering... at Wyatt's game with all the other parents and feeling so lucky that this amazing kid is mine.  There's something about Wyatt that people are attracted to.  I don't know if it's his humility, his humor or his wisdom, but at his game this week, he got a hit, made it to first, and then STOLE second (!!!) AND third (!!!).  After he crossed home plate, he held both hands up in the air and did a little dance- it was SO joyful and SO adorable.  Hearing the entire crowd cheering his name just made me feel so special to be his mom. 

Sending... the kids to spend the day with my parents Saturday and feeling so excited that it unexpectedly turned into a sleepover! It was the first time Josh and I have been home alone in our house ever! 

While they were gone, we went on a double date with Josh's brother Samuel and his girlfriend Makayla.  We went to the grand opening of a new Mexican food restaurant one town over, and there was even a live mariachi band. It was the best time, and the food was great! So much fun!

Writing... daily in my gratitude journal (see photo above of my grat. journal with Josh and the twins at their game) and feeling so grateful that I started this habit back in January.  It reminds me to see the good and record it.  Some days it's hard, but every day it's good. 

Loving... the new shoes my mom bought me (the black ones pictured above- they are SO comfortable, cute and can be dressed up or down) and the new {to me} shoes that my friend passed to me.  New shoes are so fun. 

***

This quote by Russell M. Nelson spoke to me this week as I struggled with schooling the boys at home:

"The road ahead may be bumpy
but our destination is serene and secure.
So fasten your seatbelt,
hang on through the bumps,
and do what's right.
Your reward will be eternal."

-Russell M. Nelson

around here: week 18 2021

 {April 25th-May 1st}

{Jack pitching}

{Carly and Liesel :: by Carly Cunningham}

{Logan & Jack in Culinary at school}

Going... to the twins' baseball game and getting to see my sister, niece and nephew as well.  

Joining... my counselor via DoctoronDemand and feeling so grateful for her. (I can't remember if I have talked about it before, but DoctoronDemand works with my insurance, and I only end up paying $18.60 for each session with her. It's amazing, and we meet on the website -not in person- so I can meet with her wherever I am! Even on my phone!)

Attending... my first Parent/Teacher conference of the year with Logan & Jack's collective six (or is it seven?) teachers.  The twins go Mondays & Tuesdays this quarter in person, and the other three days they are still online. I wish they had been able to go back full time, but this is a step in the right direction.  (Wyatt started back full time last week, five days a week, and we are both thrilled about it. For him, it's best if I am just "mom" and not "mom" and "teacher".)

Watching... Wyatt's baseball game this week and cheering so hard for him. Carly has made friends with some of the kids who are also at baseball games during the week, and it makes me so happy to see her little social butterfly heart filled.

Reading... The Four Winds by Kristin Hannah which is about the dust bowl in Texas and the Great Depression. It has some parts that move really fast (like, that are underdeveloped) but I am invested in the characters, so we'll see how it goes. 

Sending... Carly over to my besties house for a few hours on Monday to play with Selah, who is the sweetest, most fun little mommy's helper. Carly adores her, and I adore having some time to myself (ha!) so it's win/win!

Loving... my book stacks all over the house.  I have so many books I want to read and that I'm looking forward to reading and planning on reading... they have kind of taken over the house.

Praying... so hard for Indy Llew, a little girl with cancer whose family I follow on Instagram.  @terahbelle 

Laughing... at Wyatt as he continues to blow my mind building things with Legos.  This week he made some English cars- I only know that the blue one is called a P-O-P 50, and he is so tickled with himself. I love his creativity. 

Feeling... so proud of Jack as he continues to improve his pitching.  He's so grown up on the mound, stopping to take a deep breath and bring his shoulders down before he throws. I could cry, I am so proud of how brave he is, and how he always keeps trying.

Playing... a new game called WaterSort Puzzle, and loving it. It's challenging, but at the same time mindless (how is that possible?) and I really enjoy it. 

Planting... all my dahlia tubers finally and feeling ridiculous. I am SO invested in how they grow and do this year.  Every day we are checking to see if they have popped through the dirt yet and I can't wait to harvest flowers from them throughout the summer.

Taking... Wyatt & Carly to the eye doctor this week to get their yearly exam and new glasses.  Carly chose purple frames, and she is delighted.  

Reading... old journals from junior high and laughing at myself.  (Well, and cringing. Hah!) I came across some old photos (including the one I posted here of me and a friend Nick) and they made me smile.  I really liked school and I had good friends. I was very lucky.
In some ways the journals were hard to read, though, as they were about when I was really involved at church, and it makes me sad how awful and sinful I thought I was. I was SUCH a good kid, a kind friend, and a loving daughter, but because of the messages I received from the church, I believed that I needed to continually be working on myself and improving.  Lots of good conversations with my younger self stemmed from reading those journals. 

Accepting... that our school days (Wednesday, Thursday & Friday) SUCK. None of us want to be doing this anymore, and we all just wish the twins had been able to go back full time.  I am tempted to start counting down, but the reality is, we have six weeks left.  Wahhhh!

Attempting... to go kayaking with Josh on Friday night for date night.  We loaded the kayaks, got the kids settled to watch a show together while we were gone, and then headed to the lake.  We got there and thought it looked a little choppy, but we decided to brave it anyway.  I hadn't even got past the boat launch when I had to turn around and tell Josh it was a no-go.  The waves were SO choppy, they were getting me wet, and if my kayak started to go to the side, I was afraid it would capsize. So we have yet to kayak this year. 

Grateful... that wearing my CPAP (a mask I wear hooked up to a machine that helps me breathe better at night) for sleep apnea is going well.  I don't know that I feel more rested yet, but the mask doesn't bother me or keep me awake, so that's good.  Hopefully in time, the good sleep will start to add up and I'll feel awesome. 

***