how we spent...

our last day being

{ONE}

 First, we woke up at 5:45am, just to be sure we got the most out of our day.  Then we had mommy-snuggles, eggs & toast for breakfast, and got ready for the day.

Mommy told us that it was going to be a beautiful day, and she wanted to take us for a walk on the waterfront to celebrate our last day being one.  (We think she's taking it pretty hard that we're growing up.)
  She was totally right. It was a gorgeous morning for a walk, and we saw airplanes, boats, birds & ducks.  We didn't get to see the train, even though Jack said, "Train, where are you?" many times.

After we went on our walk, mommy said we could play in our front yard. We were so excited to play "outside!"  We played with our dump trucks first, filling them with rocks.

Then we had to bring some of the inside toys outside.

We brought out cars, our camera, and lots of balls.

Logan really enjoyed playing with the rocks.

 Mommy kind of freaked out when he drank the rain water from the beach toy bucket.  She said, "Yucky! Yucky!" which of course we thought was hilarious! She is so silly.

We spent the day working on learning how to be big boys.  We made sure that we carried as many toys as possible at once...

We practiced shooting hoops...

  and dunking it....

We also practiced pretend poop-scooping, like Nanny, complete with the "yucky" face and everything.

Let us warn you, scooping poop is hard work. (Maybe we won't be asking for a puppy for our birthday after all.)

 We worked on climbing in and out of the wagon ourselves. That reminds Mommy of Friday when we saw Dallas & Megan's car in front of Nanny's house and Logan got out of the car and said, "WAGON!" And ran to the front door sooo excited to see Megan.  (He says her name "Wagon.")

 We are also practicing asking for what we want. We kept asking each other for a ride in the wagon.  We also asked each other to share.

We worked on our ball skills, mostly football & basketball, so that someday we can go to college on what Mommy calls a "scholarship." I guess those are pretty fancy, and it would be good if we got some.

We did a lot of playing, but we also got a chance to relax and enjoy this gorgeous day.

Mommy says that God brought in this good weather for our birthday party this afternoon.  We must be pretty special if He brought the sunshine just for us!

We also worked on figuring out those tricky belt buckles.

 They sure were tricky!

 We did take occasional short breaks from playing outside to go inside for our binkies & bubbas.  We know that as we get older we will need to let go of our binkies, and leave our bubbas in our beds, but we are only one, so give us a break!

 After a morning of play, we decided that we, too, needed to capture some pictures of our last day as one year olds, so we got out our camera.

It makes these awesome shutter sounds that we love, and we think we're pretty cool snapping pictures just like Mommy.

When we take pictures we say, "Smile!" and if the picture is of us, we say "Cheese!" Mommy says it's pretty much adorable.  
Now we're off to bed for our naps. Mommy said that after naps we get to have our "Happy Birthday" at Nanny's house, and we get to blow out our candles and eat some cake. 
Cake!?! Yay!!!!

-Logan & Jack

{jack}

 

 Jack is becoming so fun to have conversations with. This morning Logan was still sleeping when I got Jack up, so we closed the door and went into my room to make the bed.  He said, "Logan, sleep." I said, "Yep, Logan's asleep." Then he said, "See him?" I said, "No, you can't see him. He's asleep." 

We must have had that conversation five times.  He really didn't like that he was awake and Logan was still sleeping. Then, when Logan finally woke up and I opened the door to greet him, I said, "Hi, honey" with my voice all syrupy and sweet. And Jack goes, "Hi, honey," just like me. It's so cute to watch them copy us.

 Two days ago Josh had Jack helping him fold laundry and Jack would grab the towel, shake it roughly and then fold/fold/fold/fold it, like 8 times, then put it on the stack. Josh said it looked just like when I do it. Even when I don't realize it, they are watching me!

Besides becoming a conversation buddy with mommy, Jack likes loves his bubba & binky, washing his hands in the sink and shooting "hoops".  He is using sign more lately, which makes me happy, and asks all the time to "walk" or go "outside".  (If this weather would cooperate and act like June, I would be more than happy to oblige him!)

He is a sweet brother (even if he hasn't quite perfected sharing) in that when Logan falls he asks "You okay?" And Wednesday night when Logan had a bleeding owie that required a band-aid, Jack kept talking about the owie and referring to his own arm.  Some kind of crazy twin thing, I think. 

I love these boys, and feel so blessed to get to witness their intense bond, friendship and even their scuffles. It is all so fascinating. 

I love you, Jack Sawyer. You complete my heart!

{logan}

 Logan is such a serious little boy at times. He loves Veggie Tales, his bubba & binky and so many  of his family members. He loves Sukie, the dogs at my mom's house and the frogs we have in the bath tub.  He loves to be read to in your "lap", to go night-night in his "big boy bed" and to put on "wake-up" in the mornings with mommy in the bathroom.

He gives the sweetest hugs, where he pats your back with his tiny hand; he says "I've YOU!" when you say "I love you" first; and he loves to do "One, Two, Three Squeeze" hugs.  He prefers walking and doing it "self" to being held or helped, and is really good at sharing with Jack. 

I love you, Logan and I am so proud of the little boy you are becoming.

{oh how i love twins}

{Kori & Bentley}

On Memorial Day my sister and I loaded our kids in to my Pilot and drove out to Troutdale to visit our bestest friends, Kari & Kori.  They are identical twins whom we met at church over ten years ago! For the last four years they have been living in New Jersey, on the other side of the country, but have recently been stationed (their hubbies are both named Nick & in the Coast Guard) in Seattle! So they are back in our area!  Unfortunately I didn't get any pictures of the girls together.

 {Roxanne & Ferris}

It was nice to catch up, talk about babies and see Kori's kiddos.

 {Jack (& Logan)}

My boys thought Ethan was pretty cool, especially because of all his truck and train toys!

 {Jack & Ethan} 

They chased each other round and round the coffee table, driving their trains.

{Roxanne, Jack & Ferris}

We really had a fun time, sharing our baby boys with each other and daydreaming about getaway weekends when we can have some much needed mommy time together!

thanks aunt julie!

My sister-in-law Julie passed along this kiddy picnic table and our boys are loving it! Everyday Jack asks, "Snack outside?" even when it's pouring down rain! Last Sunday we had a clear morning and we totally took advantage of it.  Cousin Gustav even came over to play in the dirt and enjoy the sunshine.

I've got the "my babies are turning into toddlers" blues...

Parenting these boys is... exhausting, exhilarating, exciting.  They are talking, singing, playing, laughing, signing and interacting more every day. They are, in short, becoming toddlers.

 Today my mom taught them, "Who is your twin?" Logan answers, "Jack. Jack, twin." And Jack answers, "Logan. Logan, twin." It is the most precious thing I have ever heard.  It's like they already know how lucky they are to have each other. I am reminded how blessed I am by them when I see how much they love each other. To witness that, as a parent, makes it all worth it.

There's a lot going on right now, in terms of parenting, and it is wearing me out.  Today, for instance, we stopped by the WIC Office (where I get the vouchers for free food for the boys) to get them weighed and pick up our checks. The case manager, Tracy, God bless her, was so sweet. She weighed Jack first (31 lbs), and then plotted him on that weight/length/age chart.  Well, he has always sat snug on the 50% line, but between December and today, he jumped up to between the 75th %ile & the 90th %ile.  I lost it. I had been worrying about him because he just loves to eat, especially sweets, and he seems so much bigger than Logan. 

And I live in constant fear that he is going to grow up fat. So there I sat, with a woman I met seven minutes earlier, crying about how I work full time, I am so overwhelmed and I feel like a bad mom, and I didn't mean for them to end up getting dessert every day after dinner, it just happened, and I could not pull myself together. She said I'm not a bad mom, and this is just a good reminder to keep his foods healthy and keep pushing those fruits, veggies and protein foods.

Then she weighed Logan (27lbs) and said he has also jumped over his growth curve, but far less drastically.  He's such a picky eater, he just doesn't pack it in like Jack does. 

We left and I cried the whole way home; a little more when I talked to Josh; and more still when I talked to my mom. I just hate that I am worried about feeding him right. I should have been feeding him right all along, but it's just hard to always be paying attention when I have so much going on.

Things like them sleeping in "big boy beds" instead of cribs. Things like it taking a half hour to an hour and a half to get them to sleep at nap or bed time.  Things like trying to decide if they're ready for big kid pillows or if SIDS is still a concern.  Things like they've been waking up at 5:30am for days on end and we are both EXHAUSTED from it.  Stuff like that.

That's right. These are their "big boy beds" (AKA cribs minus one wall) and they LOVE them.  

Sunday night I woke up to the sound of toddlers at play (at 11:30pm) so I opened my bedroom door, planning to go in their room to reprimand them. I didn't quite get there. 

Jack was on the computer in the living room and Logan was in the bathroom.  Uh-oh.  The inmates had escaped!  It was my own fault, I hadn't closed their bedroom door all the way because of the loud, obnoxious CLICK that it makes, but I still couldn't believe they were up!

I immediately (the next day) sent Josh to buy chains for the front and back doors. And we decided that if they were able to climb out of their cribs and play, we may as well accept the change, embrace the change, be the change... and I asked him to remove the fourth wall of their cribs. They were falling (as they climbed out) and also, couldn't get back in the cribs once they were out.  So we prepared ourselves for change and bought them big boy pillows. (Turns out they don't really like them, so they're in a closet for the time being.) 

I just can't believe that the tiny four and six pound babies that I brought home from the hospital two short years ago are sleeping in big boy beds.  

Josh had a good point recently. He said that this age is difficult because of all the independence and choices they can make, but it's totally worth it when they (out of nowhere) run up to hug or kiss you.  Or when they say, "Hi, Daddy. I love you." Totally makes up for all most of it.

Meanwhile, I am crazy busy planning their second birthday-- a day that is bittersweet for me. I am trying (desperately) to feel joyful to have made it this far, but honestly, I am feeling sad. Sad for all the moments I've missed being a working mommy. Sad for the toddlers they've become because of the babies they no longer are.  Sad for my lack of patience with them as I am navigating this new freedom that their big boy beds provide.  

I think celebrating their first birthday was 100% joyful because there were honestly moments where I wasn't sure we would make it. Nights when, while home alone with two crying babies, I wondered how I would make it to Friday, let alone how I would make it to June 6th.  

Now it's a different kind of hard. It's more about how much time or attention I can give the boys, not how much energy. Or at least not the same kind of energy they required that first year. Now that they are interacting and needing more from me that way, I feel like I am so lacking.

 And I hate to be one who rags on the weather, but OMG. The rain around here, is unbelievable. Buckets and buckets of it. The boys have been wearing their frog rain boots for days on end!  

 If only there was one single ray of sunshine that could speak through it's brightness as a beacon of hope for me. That could tell me it will get better, that I will feel better, that it will all be over soon... that summer is around the corner, and it will be a summer filled with swimming, popsicles, sprinklers, camping, laughing and memories. If only...

Until then I will have to look back on memories of last summer and get planning. Pull myself out of my "babies are growing up" funk and get on with it! There is fun to be had!