Around Here: Week 40 2021

 {September 26- October 2nd}

Experiencing... some anxiety this week, but feeling an improvement over last week, which is a tremendous blessing.  Josh took the kids to the land with him Sunday, and it was so nice to have a quiet day to myself after my brain being so exhausting.
I also was able to see my sleep doctor this week (my CPAP machine had a recall that has been freaking me out for weeks now) and he was able to put my mind at ease. It's so nice to sleep easy now, knowing that the recall won't effect me. 

Cleaning... up and catching up, on life in general.  We cleaned the house, per usual, on Sunday and then watching football as a fam once our chores were done.  And during the week I made phone calls and crossed things off my to do list which felt really good.

Starting... my new pill (Lexapro) as I got my Rx filled and am hopeful it will be the answer I'm looking for. The nice thing about taking Lexapro after Prozac is that they are in the same family, so I don't have to wean down on one and then up on the other. I can just swich.  Tuesday I took Prozac for the last time, and Wednesday I took Lexapro.  Such a smooth transition. 

Comforting... Carly as she was freaking out about fires and dying at bedtime. She had a fire drill a few weeks back at school (her first) and she was not a fan. It really got her little brain thinking about fire, and now she is terrified she's going to die in a fire and lose all her favorite belongings.  It's so sad, and I am so tired.  We are not getting much sleep around here.

Writing... The End of an Era during Mine To Tell this week and feeling proud of myself for setting a goal (to write about the transition from SAHM with kids at home to SAHM with kids at school) and following that goal through. It was hard to write.  A lot of those feelings are still pretty raw... but I did it, and I'm so glad I did. 

Doing... picture day which mean money for each kiddo, plus choosing clothes and doing hair and all the things.  It's funny to me I even bother because by the time they get their pics taken, they're usually quite disheveled and it is what it is. But I can't help myself. 

Attending... Jack's first football game with our kids and my parents.  It was super fun and I felt so proud of him out on that field. While we were at the game, there were some kids Carly was playing with on the bleachers behind us.  As they played, one boy said to her, "I could hit you in the face with this," holding up a doctor toy.  Carly, hands on hips, not in the least intimidated, said to him, "Do it." He stared at her, frozen and shocked, and then walked away.  Haha! That girl has three older brothers, kid. Not much phases her!

Cooking... chili in our new air fryer/crockpot and making homemade cornbread as well.  We pulled all the last things out out of our garden, an onion, some tomatoes and zucchini. Carly and Jack helped me cut up apples that Josh got from a student, and we put them in the freezer in baggies to make apple cake with later in the year. 
Jack is also cooking, as he has Culinary this quarter. He loves being in the kitchen, and I love the skills (like cleaning as you go) that he is learning there.  

Sending... Wyatt off to his first day of our district's Excel Program. He is so smart and curious, I am really excited to see how he likes the program. It's supposed to be very hands on and include STEM and lots of cool projects.  He's excited and so am I. 

Watching... Downton Abbey at my mom's suggestion and instantly falling in love with the family. I am hooked.

Reading... Anne of the Island, which was a slow read, but also a gentle read, which is what I needed to get back into reading a few weeks ago.  I've been turning to it when my brain feels too full to read anything else. I was excited to finish it and will be starting Anne of Windy Poplars next. 
It's also my turn to do readaloud with the boys (Josh will put Carly to bed while we read our book, then we switch) and I am reading Pax by Sara Pennypacker.  It really tugs at your heartstrings and will make you want a pet fox.  hah!

Enjoying... having Logan and Jack's best friends (identical twins themselves) Easton and Channing over after school this week.  They are so kind to Carly (they even play games with her) and are so funny, and those four boys always have a good time together. So thankful for them. Also grateful that I have kids I can trust as these TikTok challenges are destroying our local schools.  Some crazy things have been stolen and I feel so bad for the teachers and administrators having to deal with it. 
I am also enjoying my dahlia blooms.  I know the end is coming, so I am cutting and bringing in as many as I can!

Arm wrestling... randomly after dinner one night and beating each of my children. They were so impressed and I felt so proud. There is very little that I currently do that impresses them, so I am always pleased when something does. 

Walking... the dog and enjoying that crisp fall sunshine and all the beautiful trees and flowers I see on my walks.  

Driving... Carly & Wyatt through the carwash and loving how much they enjoy it. I spend a lot of time in my car each day- dropping off the twins at school; dropping off the littles at school; picking up the twins from school; picking up the littles from school; and picking Jack up from practice everyday.  It's a lot.  So it's important to me that the car be clean and organized. So Josh got me a carwash pass so I can go as much as I want to each month.  

Crying... to Josh one evening as I lamented how fast time is going and how our babies are growing up right before our eyes.  He was so sweet about it, and I felt better after a good cry about it. Gosh parenting is hard on the heart. 

Celebrating... my nephew Milo's birthday in Wenatchee (which will be a post all its own) and then getting to visit my parents afterward and meet their new puppy! Their original pomski (pomeranian/husky) Juno passed away after giving birth to her second litter and contracting Parvo.  My parents (and the breeder) were devestated, but there was a silver lining.  My parents got to bring home one of Juno's puppies, whom they named Bruno, and he is a delight. 
The kids enjoyed skateboarding, hoverboarding and riding my parents' electric bikes. They're the best grandparents.  

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A few inspiring, thought provoking things:

"You are not lazy, unmotivated or stuck.

After years of living your life in survival mode,

you are exhausted.

There is a difference."

-Nakeia Homer

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Around Here: Week 39 2021

 {September 19-25th}

Carly said after I dropped her and Wyatt off at school,
I needed to take Addy to cheer practice. 

\

Loving... this reminder my friend Ashley sent that could not have been more timely.

"And just in case you need the reminder: 

You have value as a mom and a homemaker!

It's important work, maybe even the most important work.

How we raise these souls will radiate out into the world someday."

If you don't already follow her, go check out her blog.  I leave that space wanting to read more, bake more, and generally live a simpler, slower life.  I love you, Ash.  Thanks for the encouragement. 

Enjoying... having my sister's baby boy for the weekend while she was out of town, but also feeling certain that I do not want to start over with another baby. (Which is good because Josh had his vasectomy months ago. Ha!) But it was good for me to jump back in with a baby, see how much work it is (and he's even a very easy baby!) and remember that sometimes Motherhood means putting on rose colored glasses as we look back.  

Enduring... more migraines this week (although I only had three, down from five last week). I suffered an especially bad one on Sunday which meant Josh had to take the baby back to my sister for me, and hit Costco himself, while I got together a grocery list (once the migraine had mostly disappated) and went to Winco with Jack. 

Attending... my Mine To Tell weekly writing Zoom and enjoying it so much.  I brought my laptop out back and sat on the patio.  It was lovely.  And my friend Crystal has also joined Mine To Tell, so it's neat to share that together.  I am so inspired by all these amazing women around me. 

Reading... the Bella Grace magazine that a sweet blog follower sent me. Thanks @addiejanefloral 
It's like a collection of touching, inspiring blog posts, and is so beautiful! I'm also reading Everyone In This Room Will Someday Be Dead, which I picked up at Barnes & Noble over the summer and am loving it. 
I also wanted to share that I LOVE reading my kids thoughts on things.  Wyatt wrote a page about what his perfect day would look like and what he would do if he were in charge of the world.  Their inner thoughts fascinate me. 

Following... with avid interest the Gabby Petito story.  I am so saddened by her loss, and her families connection to her and each other. It is just heart wrenching. I hope they find Brian soon. 

Getting... my childhood toys out of the shed to reward Carly for staying dry at shool all week.  She'd been coming home mostly a little wet (sometimes a lot) so to motivate her, I told her if she could stay dry for a week, I would give her my Amercan Girl dolls to play with. I have Addy and Molly from when I was little, and I also have lots of accessories and their beds and bedside tables. It was so fun to go through all my toys with her. She is thrilled! And she's staying dry at school now!
It was so fun and a little mind boggling to see my ACTUAL REAL LIFE DAUGHTER (I still can't beleive I have one of those, guys!) holding the Cabbage Patch doll I grew up with and pretended was my daughter for a decade of my childhood.  Mary Rose is my Cabbage Patch doll's name (Did you have one? What was his/her name? Do you still have it?) and I think her name and Carly May's name are sort of similar. 

Losing... my mind at parent drop off and pick up at the kids' school. I'm like, "Guys, we are almost a month into this now... can we figure it out!? Parents are getting out when there are clearly signs saying do not get out, and other parents can't be bothered to pull all the way forward so other parents can drop their kids off.  It's just so frustrating when I was there on time for them to have morning recess before the first bell rings, but because of other people's idiocy, they still miss out on that play time. Grrr.

Still... walking the dog everyday and enjoying doing Carly's hair. It's funny to me that the things that bring me joy are so routine and somewhat boring, but it also makes me happy because I am quite easy to please. 

Watching... Anne with an E which is my go-to comfort show when I need to be distracted from my thoughts and am feeling down. Anne just sees life as so magical, I can't help but be cheered when I spend time with her. 
And in the evenings, Josh and I finished up House of Cards.  I really enjoyed the beginning, but the last few episodes were not my favorite. And I felt like there was no closure, which sucked. Overall, do not recommend. I miss Schitt's Creek. 

Struggling... this week with health anxiety, panic attacks and anxiety. So I made myself a doctor appointment and we talked about my migraines, my concern about different cancers in my body (this is a constant battle my health anxiety and I fight) and made some med changes. I have been on Prozac for a few years now, but I can feel that it's not working as well as it was. Maybe because I gained weight, maybe because that just happens sometimes. Either way, my doctor said he would prefer switching me to a different med (still in the Prozac family) as opposed to further increasing my mg on Prozac. So now I am taking Lexapro. I take the equivalent of what would have been 80mg of Prozac.  I had no negative side effects from the change, and very slowly I am feeling better. 
He also ordered me a new migraine medicine that is a once monthly shot called Emgality. We have to wait for a prior authorization from insurance, though, so it may take a while. But at least we are trying something else. I have tried Topomax and Propranolol to no effect.  I can take Sumatriptan to stop the migraine once I have it, but I would prefer to not be taking so much of that, as there is a risk of seratonin syndrome from taking it with an anti-depressant. 

Learning... new words from my middle schooler. I am always learning new words from them, and then being told not to use them. "Cap" is the most recent one, and I have gone a long time hearing them say it, without knowing what it meant. For example, I will say, "Thank you. I love you, Jack." and Logan will pipe up from the other room, "Stop the cap!" which means he thinks I'm lying about loving Jack. Or I'll see Logan when he comes downstairs I'll say, "Ohhh! You're so handsome." And Jack will pipe up, "Stop the cap!"
sigh.
It's hard to come to terms with the fact that I will never be cool again.

Playing... Pie Face when we had whip cream, and loving the kids joy and laughter. Also playing florist this week as I continued cutting all the last blooms we still have before we get a hard freeze. Goodness the flowers in the house and all around outside make me smile. 
I also did a manicure for Carly this week out on the front porch.  The weather was just too nice to stay inside, so we did it outside.  She nearly always peels off the paint as soon as it's dry, but she asks to have it done, so I try to say yes once in a while. 

Grateful... that our house is now dried out and we can hire someone to start to put it back together after the water damage from the attic in the summer. I will be so grateful when it's all done. 
I am also grateful any time the sink is empty.  I am constantly surprised by the amount of joy the dishes being done brings me. It's like a little thrill every time I spy it. 
Also grateful for my sister, mom and husband who remind me to "take the pill" every time I am having either anxiety or a migraine.  I know I should take it, but someone else telling me to, relieves me of the decision making and it makes all the difference. 
And lastly, I'm super grateful that we have pets.  I have always loved our pets, but adjusting to being home alone after having all four kids home, full time, for a year and a half, it's been especially nice to have them to talk to, snuggle with, and make me feel less lonely. 

Working... to do ALL the laundry and making sure I get Josh a fresh salad made every morning before he goes to work. His strongest love language is acts of service. So he always puts gas in my car, makes the bed when he gets up in the morning, and makes sure that things are done around the house that need doing. So I know it means a lot to him when I repay those acts of service by making him a salad everyday and make sure we have his favorite soda and other foods on hand. 

Combatting... my constant sadness about the kids growing up with the mantra "There is more" which I stole from Kelle Hampton over at Enjoying The Small Things.  It's hard that Wyatt's not an adorable toddler anymore, and that Carly is no longer a tiny baby, nursing every few hours and wanting nothing other than to be held; but knowing that more, different, equally good things are coming helps me not lose hope just because they're getting older. 

Listening... to two great podcasts this week.  One was Maintenance Phase- The Obesity Epidemic (August 17th episode)  where I learned that obesity does not necessarily equal bad health. That was a fascinating listen. And the other one was Glennon Doyle's We Can Do Hard Things, not sure which one, but for a few minutes they talked about how Abby is a huge people pleaser (Shelly slowly raises her hand, nodding, "me too, me too!") and the simplest question helped her stop her people pleasing ways.  She simply asks herself, "Is it your problem?" 
If your kid doesn't have a coat, or is sick or needs a ride; that's your problem.  If a stranger or a neighbor's kid or a passerby in the store doesn't have a coat; that's not really your problem to solve. I understand this can be a fine line.  And I have to balance it just right because I believe in helping others and being part of a village and a community, but there definitely comes a point where I am literally just sticking my nose where it doesn't belong so I can a) make people happy and b) act like the hero. It's not healthy. So that was really helpful advice for me. 

Dying... seeing Jack in his football jersey. That is what Kelle's talking about when she says, "There is more"... Jack may not be my sweet dimpled toddler anymore, but he is turning into quite the strong, handsome, hard working, athletic gentleman, and getting to know this new, constantly growing and changing part of Jack, is also kind of like magic. 

Pooping out... on the GoCleanCo cleaning challenge. I got ONE single room in my house ENTIRELY clean from top to bottom, and all I kept thinking was how fast my kids were going to destroy it. I just don't think I am in the part of my life (with two teenagers, plus one more on the way to being a teenager, two dogs and massively shedding German shepherd & a semi-hoarder five year old) where I can have those super high cleaning standards without it making me batshit crazy.  So maybe in another chapter I'll become the next Marie Kondo with a vacuum.

Making... a super fun trail mix Josh saw and wanted to try.  It was candy corn, nuts, & m&m's. The combination of the nuts and the candy corn tasted, somehow, exactly like a Snickers, even if you didin't have an m&m in the bite. It was so yummy and the kids thought it was super fun.
Also- making donuts for the first time in years and enjoying them so much! I just use our regular bread recipe, then fry them in oil and make a caramel frosting my mom's mom used for apple cake.  It tastes just like a maple bar and is so delish. 

Relishing... the evenings when Carly wakes me up and as I lay her back down, she whispers with her eyes closed, nearly asleep, "Stay mama. Stay." And so I do. Rubbing her back a little longer, singing one more song and cherishing this one just a little bit longer. 

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BUT FOR REALS>>>

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Funnies: 

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Where I Read

I am often asked (usually by fellow busy mothers) how I get so much reading done with four kids, two cats, a dog, a house and a husband. In 2020, I read 105 books. It's looking like this year will be around 60. (Orchestrating distance learning with the boys last school year was a massive time and energy suck, and when I was done, I just wanted to veg, not use my brain more. Ha! So my numbers are down for 2021.) 

"When do you find time to read?" they ask.  

But the answer is that it's not about when I read (if I had to answer that I would say all.the.time) but more about where I read that matters. 

I read in my bed, at the kitchen table, on my couch, on the front porch, in the car pick up line, at the doctors office, while I'm in the drive through pharmacy line, while waiting to pick up my kids from practice or a friends house, and at doctor appointments. I rarely leave home without a book, but on the occasion when I do forget it, I always have an audio book going. 

I listen to my audio books in probably even more places than I read my physical ones.  I listen as I do dishes in the kitchen, fold laundry upstairs, make beds & tidy rooms, run errands around town, grocery shop, and walk the dog in our neighborhood... the list goes on.

I also take turns with Josh reading chapter books to the boys at bedtime. He's working through the Harry Potter series with them, but I just pick and choose different books that strike my fancy and seem like the boys would like them. Some are duds (like The Winter Room by Gary Paulsen, which we just finished. Boring!) but some are surprisingly delightful (like Pax by Sara Klassen. Now I want a fox. Hah!) and it's a great way to get more books added to my monthly numbers while also instilling a love of reading in my kids. 

One more tip I would give, that is slightly personal, is to put a book in each of your bathrooms. Choose books that you are working through, trying to finish.  I prefer poetry, but short stories or a heavy non-fiction could also work, as you tend to want to read those in little bits so as to absorb everything.  I just started that trick last month, and my reading went from 2 books in September to 9 in October. 

So if you're trying to increase how much you're reading, don't focus on when to read. Think about where you could read. Is there ten minutes in your day where you're waiting for something and could read a quick 15 pages? Could you listen to an audio book while you workout or make dinner? Maybe you could set bedtime a little earlier to squeeze in a few more chapters.  And when you're hitting the road to go anywhere, make sure you have an audiobook downloaded so you can get the pages read to you. That's one of my favorites.

Where do you read? 
I am always looking for ways to get more reading out of my days,
so I'd love to hear your ideas. 

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