Is it hard for anyone else to get rid of baby stuff? I was so sad to sell the twins' nursery furniture three years ago. Now we're selling Wyatt's high chair, and even though he doesn't fit in it anymore, I am sad to see it go. He's nearly done with diapers, and I've already weeded through the playroom to get rid of toys that are for babies under two...
We're still not sure if we'll have more.
But if I were a betting woman, I'd bet we're done.
Which surprises me.
The emotions about that are so conflicting. I feel relief coupled with deep grief whenever I imagine our future with just the three boys. I ache for a girl. To have a daughter, a mini-me. Tiny fingernails painted, tutu on, sparkly Dorothy shoes, twirling for me in the living room. To have a sister for these boys, someone to soften the rowdiness. A little princess for Josh to adore.
On the other hand, I am so blessed. Being these boys' mom is better than anything I ever imagined. Curling up on our bed with them after a long day, reading Mercer Mayer books, smelling just-washed heads, is a dream come true. Spontaneous hugs and I love you's along with the hilarious things they say (Jack the other day said, "Mom, if we had a pet spider, it wouldn't have to be hairy, it would eat all the flies in our house and would never go hungry") make all the hard work worth it.
It almost feels greedy to wish for a girl. To desire a daughter when we have three healthy sons.
I guess only time will tell. God only knows what's in store for our future. But for now, I am trying to enjoy the three I was blessed with, even if they won't wear pink ruffles for me!
2 comments:
Yes, it is hard to get rid of baby stuf, it is so hard.
I have girls. They are not mini-mes: each of them different, not pink and frilly, either. But I love them dearly, each and every one of them as they are. I feel blessed to have them.
I had girls, just girls. People asked if I wished I had boys, if we were trying for a boy. I wondered how it would be like to have a son, sometimes. But I did not have a big aching need for a son.
I thought we were done having children. I had gotten rid of baby things already (it was hard, but having a chance to hand them down to my sister made it a bit easier). But, then, I got preagant again! I could not imagine having a boy. Babies were girls for me. I got everything ready for an other girl. And we had a boy!
And two years later, an other boy! How could that be? I, a mother of boys? I, a mother of babies again?
But here I am, a mother of two little boys. I am an old expert mothering girls (this is not true, really, as they are all different from each other and I am learning something new about mothering them every day and not an expert at all) and as new as you to this mothering of boys. It is hard work to raise a child/ children but such a joy, such a blessing at the same.
I find yor blog interesting as I am curious about life in Alaska and I love Vancouver, Washington( I stayd there a year and a half when I was young) and because I have boys about the same age as yours.
Oh, it's hard - and I haven't really started yet! We kept as much as we could after Simon, but the stress of the storage really got to me. Now I am ready to purge. (A third child is unlikely. Rob says no way. I'm not opposed to it but I"m still to new into two that I haven't had time to feel if our family is complete. But I'd rather have to re-get everything than store again.) But I have the maternity clothes boxed up. And two boxes of cloth diapers that just don't fit my kids - and I haven't been able to send an email to sell or give away. I will. Eventually.
It has to be so much harder if you aren't sure.
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