Their Golden Birthday

 Happy Birthday, sweet, sweet boys...

Happy Birthday to my sweet baby Logan Henry...

And happy birthday to my sweet boy Jack Sawyer...

***

{Our last picture as a childless couple}

Six years and one day ago, I wasn't a mom.  How strange.  That there is a time when I wasn't a mom.  It's such a part of who I am now, something I struggle with, work hard at, and am proud of.  Those days before the twins arrived I nested and organized and read.  And then we arrived at home with two car seats and real life began.  

{Family of four}

Twice the feeding, twice the changing, twice the baths... Twice the love, twice the hugs, twice the smiles.  Twice the clothes, twice the diapers, twice the burp rags.

In the beginning I was constantly aware that I had twins. Everything I did had to be done twice, everything I said had to be said twice.  Everything I wrote in a baby book (generally) had to be written twice.  

Now that they're six though, I can attest to what twin moms told me when they were toddlers.  

It will get easier.  

It has gotten easier.  They sleep through the night. They dress themselves.  They can problem solve, brush their own teeth and share toys if there's only one.  Nothing is as hard as it was.  

Having twins first has made raising Wyatt seem like a dream.  He was easy to feed, wean from the binky and potty train.  He's easy to entertain, satisfied with a matchbox car and easy to get back to sleep.  What I can't tell, though, even three years in with him, is if he's actually that easy, or if it's just in comparison to the twins.

***

At six, the twins are into superheroes, Ninja Turtles and Legos.  They enjoy choosing matching clothes,  riding bikes and playing hide & seek.  They can read, do basic math and love doing science experiments.

I have learned a lot about them as twins-- they are dichorionic/diamniotic monozygotic mirror twins who are colorblind with severe astigmatisms.  Jack is about two inches taller than Logan, the younger but bigger twin; and the boys both think Wyatt should have been their triplet.

But what I have learned the most the last six years is about being a mother.  I do better parenting when I am well rested.  I hate playing with them, but I love doing projects or reading to them.  I enjoy caretaking (baths, nail cutting, hair styling) and teaching.  I love the one on one time I get with them and always crave more.  I have had to accept that because of their twinness, I did miss out on some things when they were little.  Having Wyatt made me acutely aware of that.  But because of their being twins, I have experienced things that other moms don't.  

Like the way they have felt each other's pain, how they choose the same toys or activities on their individual dates, or how, when they sleep, they almost always assume the exact same position, but mirroring each other.  They have made my life harder, but they have also made it richer.  I am so grateful that on this day, six years ago, they came (healthy & crying) into my life.  Like another famous mom of multiples once said,