Family Funnies

The kids are full of hilariousness lately.  

I wanted to share some of it with you.  

A lot of these funnies date back to the summer. Enjoy!

While in Washington we talked A LOT about cars.

The boys wanted to know, "Why are there more cars here?"  So I had to explain that Vancouver has more people than Marshall, and people in Marshall typically have four wheelers, not cars.

For me, driving the car felt like a weapon.  After nine months off the road, going 60mph on the freeway felt insane!  I felt better when Josh was driving.  And we both felt best when we had Logan in the car as he became the resident "Under Cover Cop Car Spotter".  We'd be driving when out of nowhere he would point and scream, "Undercover Cop! Undercover Cop!"

They really noticed all the police cars, ambulances and fire trucks.  I think that's because there is no police force (or fire station or EMT's) in Marshall. 

One time we saw a police officer with his lights on, speeding down the freeway and Logan goes, "I bet he's going to help someone in danger!"  I smiled at his sweet innocence until Jack piped up, "That, or he's just late for dinner."  Seriously. Where do they get this stuff?

I wasn't the only one who worried about my driving apparently because I swear that every time I got behind the wheel the conversation turned to getting pulled over and going to jail.  I tired repeatedly to tell the kids that I would not go to jail, or even be pulled over, because I wasn't breaking the law.  I don't speed or text while driving and always obey traffic laws.

The boys insisted that if I got pulled over I would go to jail and they would have to go to jail as well.  And according to my six year olds, you have to drink blood and eat spiders in jail.  So there's a little extra motivation for those of you who struggle to follow the rules of the road.

One day while driving down the road, the boys saw a HUGE monster truck.  "Blake's is bigger," they asserted, even though what their Uncle Blake drives is a small Toyota pick up.

Another day we saw a Porsche, and they agreed, "Aunt Julie's car is faster!"  

(She drives a Dodge Charger, which is fast, but probably not faster than a Porsche!)

When Wyatt started wearing shorts this summer (after nine months in pants), he would walk around rubbing his shins saying, "I have hair on my legs like my dad."  

Cracked.me.up.

The boys use a lot of words that are a bit old for their age, I think.  

Such as:

 Literally

Actually

As well

In addition to a grown up vocabulary, they also picked up some sayings from their cousin Ethan.  "You got mad skills, dad," Jack said to Josh one night.  They also call each other "a spaz" when they're acting crazy, courtesy of Ethan.

I overheard this conversation between Logan & Wyatt one afternoon:

Wyatt: I'm your worst nightmare.

Logan: You don't even scare me.

Wyatt: The thing is, yes I do.

Over fourth of July, whenever we would hear fireworks in our neighborhood, the boys would shout, "Someone's shooting a moose!"

On the way to Grandma's house, Wyatt started falling asleep in the car.  I shook his leg and told him to wake up.  "Can I sleep in the car?" he asked sweetly.  When I told him no because we were almost there, he goes, "But I want to sleep in the car. It's comfortable."

My boys were enthralled when we came back to civilization and they got to experience elevators and escalators.  Wyatt would tell me,"The elevator is dangerous!" while at the same time Logan would be saying, "I love elevators!"  The twins' enthusiasm would have made you think we were on a ride at the fair.

There is a handful of things the twins still say wrong that I adore.  I know all too soon they will correct themselves and I don't ever want to forget how they say them currently.

When there's something in the house and they don't know whose it is, they will ask, "Who is this's?" instead of "Whose is this?"

They also call breakfast "Bret-fist".

And when they are no longer holding on to something, they will say, "I had it, but then I let go'd."

At the park on the swing, they request that I "underdunk them" instead of "underdog".  Also at the park they have a friend named Melanie whom Logan consistently refers to as Lemony.

Wyatt got the hiccups at bedtime, and when I kissed him and told him it was time for sleeping, he replied, "But mom, I am hicking up!"

Jack was relaying to me the story of his first ice cream truck encounter, which was with his grandma.  The story started out genuine, but then he told me, "Grandma called it an Ice Cream Turner Bra."  He smiled real big and I said, "What?!? I don't think so."  Then he goes, "... I don't know why she does what she does!" while shrugging his shoulders and shaking his head.  Little stinker!

{Also of note, this summer Jack had his first bee sting.  He was with grandma & his cousins.  He claims he was very brave, and I was relieved to discover he's not allergic!}

When we first got to Vancouver, I told Wyatt that his toy car was in my purse.  He goes, "What's a purse?"  I explained it's something girls carry with their phones, wallets, etc. inside.  (I carry only a backpack in Marshall.) And he goes, "That is fascinating."

We were driving to my sister-in-law's house and on the way there is a farm with a giant poop log (a large baggie the size of a building full of manure) which smells quite delicious, as you can imagine, and Jack goes, "Well, that's a poop-a-potomus!"

Also while driving out there, we saw an Excursion Limo and Jack said, "That's the car you have to get when you have ten kids!"

Since arriving in Marshall, Wyatt's been saying some cute things as well.  On the playground we tend to find a lot of change.  He has taken to calling anything he finds (nickels, quarters, dimes or pennies) "coiny's".  "Mom, look! I found another coiny!" or "Mom, where's my coiny?"

And in typical Marshall fashion, he has stopped saying, "excuse me" and has started saying just "scuse" like the kids here do.  It's really adorable!

And last night, when we moved Wyatt into his new (queen size) bed, he pointed at the second pillow and said, "I need another boy on that one."  I think he assumed that since the twins shared a bed this summer, his big bed meant he was going to have a bed mate.

I am sure there are a hundred hilarious things I've forgotten to mention, but I'm happy to have gotten at least these ones down!  I will treasure them for years to come!