Around Here: Week 4 2023

 {January 22-28th}

Jack bent over to grab something off the table and my mom said our hair color was exactly the same. So we took a picture to see for ourselves. Sure enough! It's exactly the same!

I drove to and from middle school with these Ticonderoga's here,
as opposed to the BACKPACK THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO BE PUT INTO. 

I worked on this Color-by-Number on my phone any time I needed a brain break this week.

The new game she loves playing is Toca World.  This is Logan (in his wifebeater- what we call white tank tops, so trashy, I know) with darker hair, and Jack in a white t-shirt with lighter hair and Carly with long blonde hair. 

All my journals- from age 7 onward.
109 of them in total.

Jack posted this pic of him and his bestie, Ainsley.
I died at the caption. 
(Him and Ainsley were twinning at Carly's birthday,
but since Jack already has a twin, he wrote "My triplet")

Reading... and finishing Friends, Lovers and the Big Terrible Thing by Matthew Perry.  It was so good. So raw and honest and heart wrenching.  Highly recommend. I loved his quote: "If you put anything in front of sobriety, you will lose that thing anyway if you drink."

And this one made me laugh:

"There are two things alcoholics hate:

The way things are,

And change."

Loving... watching Carly play.  I could seriously watch her play all day. 

Helping... Carly pull out her very first tooth!! It was right before school on the day before her birthday.  She was so excited to put it under her pillow for the tooth fairy.  

Creating... a developmental milestones slideshow for one class and a brochure for another.  And just generally doing homework all.the.time. I am drinking coffee and eating snacks just to stay awake. It's brutal!  I did a little research though, to see if how much time I'm spending on homework is normal. Sadly it turns out it is. 

Knowing... I must be doing something right, though, because I keep getting papers and assignments back with 100% on them. And that sure feels good!!!

Feeling... less good about the laundry situation around here. Oh my gosh it just piles up. 
If it's clean and in piles, I guess that's better than if it's dirty and in piles... but still! It stresses me out!!!

Grateful... that Josh is 100% my hype man.  He responds with the same enthusiasm two months later as he did the first time when I text to tell him I got a paper back or nailed a Discussion Question.  He is particularly encouraging in his shower messages  to me (written with Carly's foam bathtime alphabet that only has one of each letter and number).  They never fail to make me smile and feel encouraged and supported. 

Driving... Carly to school one morning and there were ice crystals in the air like glitter.  It was like we were in a glittery snow globe.  Carly and I were enthralled. 

Having... Carly's neighbor friend over to play one afternoon.  Carly was delighted and I was cracking up because they were playing Polly Pocket, which I also played at that age! 

Celebrating... Carly's birthday all week.  On her actual birthday we had ice cream cake and sang her songs.  She even got birthday gifts from two of her classmates (so sweet!!!) and was spoiled by me and Josh, of course!  
Then on Saturday we had an ice skating party with pizza, cupcakes and ice cream at our house afterward, and it was so fun!  Ice skating since gaining so much weight was terrifying (ha!) and it was cold (brrr!) but Carly had fun and Josh is such a good dad.  He went around and around with her. 
At the party at our house, which Carly decided was themed "Cute vs. Spooky", we ate the cupcakes Carly had made the night before (she did so good- I was so proud of her!) and let her open presents.  Her gifts were all so thoughtful- you could tell everyone knows and loves our girl so well- but hands down the most memorable present was a set of AirPods from Uncle Samuel.  "Airpods!?! I'm only seven!" was her refrain. haha! Oh I love that girl. (And the tender relationship she and her Uncle have.  Until she was about three she would tell people she had a mom and two dads. Uncle Samuel was Dad #2. Haha!)  We also did a pinata which she and cousin Romy loved, and I was grateful my mom brought a 7 balloon and other decorations (plus a Happy Birthday headband) to take pictures of Carly in front of. So thoughtful. 

Reminiscing... over how much Carly has grown in one year.  When I think of her at age 6, mid way through kindergarten, I think of her anxiety.  She had tears almost daily at drop off, tummy aches on the way to school, and an absolute panic attack during every fire drill.  Not to mention when she would discuss fires at home.  I am so proud of all the fears she has overcome, and so grateful for the people who have had her back while she got there.  Namely, her kinder and first grade teachers, as well as her school counselor and librarian who would greet her at drop off each day.  We're so lucky to have so many people love our girl. 

Watching... Josh arm wrestle the boys after Carly's party and knowing it's only a matter of time before they beat him, too. (He won this go round.) At some point, I want to say two years ago, we all started arm wrestling, and I beat every single boy.  They couldn't believe it.  But I lost that title recently and while it's bittersweet (I enjoyed having their respect for being stronger than them in this one way) I am really proud of how they are growing and becoming stronger all the time. 

Starting... second semester for all three boys and feeling grateful for some class changes.  Goodbye class that stressed Wyatt out (with a not-so-kind teacher) and hello to some fun, new classes and new friends to be made. 

Taking... Logan to skateboard downtown while Jack and I grocery shopped and loving how cute our downtown area is. Seriously, so picturesque. Jack was not happy (read: super pissed) to have to grocery shop with me, which is normal... but he usually snaps out of it after a little bit.  During this trip that was not the case. Now I say this not to make Jack feel bad (although, Jack, if you're reading this, give your poor mama a break and crack a smile!) but to say that this is the part of parenting that tends to be hardest for me. Letting my kids have their emotions, especially if they're negative emotions (sadness, frustration, anger) is really hard for me. Like, I swear that I feel their feelings (x10) and it is so hard when they won't let me help or cheer them up. 

Leaning... hard into parenting right now, and oof.  It. is. tough. Parenting teens is very triggering for me because of past childhood stuff.  Thankfully Tiffany Roe is always coming in clutch with the therapy content and posted a list of things to do when you are triggered. (See screenshot below)  Right now I am going with validating whatever I'm feeling and then feeling the feeling.  Mostly this means I cry when we're lecturing, consequencing or punishing our boys.  Which is v. confusing because I don't necessarily feel sad (in fact, I usually feel mad that they were acting like dumbasses) but I am just letting my body do what it needs to do to work through it. 

Wanting... to note, about teenagers, that it is both easier AND harder. Wonderful AND impossible.  I don't have to dress them or negotiate with them to eat dinner or share their toys... but I do have to make them do homework and follow through when I threaten something. They make me laugh harder than anyone I know (usually while making fun of me) and I would spend everyday with them over pretty much anyone else... but also? They call me "bruh" and laugh when I'm yelling at them and never want to go to bed. It's hard man. It's so hard. But also, so worth it. 
Both, and. Both/and. 

Relishing... my afternoons of picking up Wyatt and the twins before Carly gets out, and then driving the twins to baseball practice at the batting cages.  It's just the four of us in the dark afternoon light, sun heading toward the horizon, and it's so warm in the van compared to the bitter winter weather, and there's something about it that just feels really cozy and nice. One day I know I will miss it. 

Taking... Wyatt to the doctor after he rolled his ankle playing tag with Logan and his cousins.  It's not broken (thank God) but is badly sprained which means he can't walk home from school or participate in PE. Sigh. Why is it always something!?!

Loving... that Piper is my dog.  Grady loves me, and George loves me... but in a way that's different from our other dog and our cat, Piper is MINE. She loves me the most. And it's just the sweetest. 

Teaching... you some of the kids' talk.  It feels like these days I can hardly understand what my kids are saying without a translater.  So I am here to help if you feel the same way.  This week our terms are "bet" and "say less".  Bet is pretty basic- it just means you are calling someone out on whether they can do something.  So if Jack said he could bench 200lbs, his friend might say, "Bet".  Which can mean either he believes him, and is confirming Jack could totall do that, or he doesn't, and he wants Jack to prove it. It all depends on tone. And "say less" is something the boys say if they really want to do something I have suggested.  Like if I was leaving to pick up Carly as they arrived home and said, "There's fresh cookies in the cookie jar," they might reply with "Say less," meaning I don't need to say more to convince them to have a cookie. 

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"Even when the pain takes your breath away,

you have to let the people you love experience 

the consequences of their own behavior."

-Brene Brown

I was doing a little research heading toward Week 2 of double classes.  I was curious how many hours a person typically spends on each credit during a masters program. For six credits during a seven week course (and I'm taking six credits during a six week course) it's normal to spend 36 hours per week on homework/assignments. I'd say that's pretty true to what I'm spending.  Oof!

My mother-in-law posted this. 
Love it!

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