Torture

Sleep deprivation is a form of torture.

Everyday millions of women are subjected to this form of torture.  Innocent women who thought it their lot in life to procreate are suffering at the hands of their sleepless children. 

I am one of those victims.

One hour, two minutes.  That's how bloody long it took to get the twins asleep for naps two weeks ago.  Jack was gone within twenty minutes, but Logan, who slept longer that morning (all way to 6:19 people!) struggled to give in.  He kept rolling around, playing with his eyes, watching me...

Then I had him nearly to sleep and the baby, who'd been asleep roughly an hour, woke up screaming bloody murder in the room next door. So I stepped out to soothe the irate six month old.  Meanwhile, all the calming down the three year old had achieved was lost as he attempted to follow me into the room where I was comforting his brother.

I finally got said baby to calm down so I could put big brother Logan back to bed, again.

At this point, the baby was awake completely for the afternoon and my break had gone out the window.

It's bad enough I am not sleeping at night.
The least these kids could do is let me catch a break at nap time!!!

Christmas Night

 Our Christmas evening is always spent with  my family. We usually do dinner & dessert and open a lot of presents.  This year the boys were totally spoiled-- a Woody & Bullseye set, toys from Cars 2, new {adorable} Gap sweaters from Roxanne, and so much more!  The best part was that I was finally feeling better.

Their favorite gift, though? The wool knee-highs my mom got them. They are pretty sure those knee highs make them as good at soccer as David Beckham.  It's adorable!

~

We had a very merry Christmas!

Care Packages

Many people have expressed interest in sending us care packages while we are away, 

which gets me very excited! 

I.love.mail.

I love mail the way some people love paychecks or their favorite grandma.  

Very much.

So to help people know what types of things to ship & where to send them, I have created a Care Packages page you can find just under the header on my blog.  I will try to keep this current with things we are needing or wanting & any further shipping tips I have.

 Click here to jump right to it.

 Thank you

& happy shipping!

my thoughts

 "He who is not everyday conquering some fear has not learned the secret of life."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

 I have a lot of thoughts to think.  My mind is swirling from the moment my eyes pop open in the morning, until I am laying in bed at night, exhausted from my day chasing our three kids & attempting to prepare for our departure.  Most of my thoughts include lists. Lists of things to buy here, things to buy in Anchorage; lists of things I've yet to do, and things I need to journal about; lists of activities for our time in Marshall, and lists of blogs to write & post.

Yesterday I cried a bit. Those are the first tears I've cried in a while. I cried as I left a playdate with my girls Rachel & Jolene.  And I cried as I pulled into lunch at the Heathman.  I cried as I left our playdate because I know how much I am going to miss having the support that my friends offer.  And the lovely way that being with other moms makes what I do easier.  I cried on the way to lunch because it hit me that Vancouver holds all my memories. As I drive down just about any road, I can search my memory and find a snippet stored away.  I remember going to the Heathman restaurant for senior prom with Josh. Where he ordered a salad & I got steak.  And I remember driving there after our wedding, windows rolled down, the hot August air blowing in, and walking in to the hotel in my wedding dress to get our key.

And last night I cried because I am overwhelmed. I don't think all the clothes we have here will fit into the luggage we have, and I don't know what to keep, what to ship. I need to put more stuff into storage. And I am nervous about feeding my family while in Alaska.  Ordering & storing enough groceries, not to mention learning to cook (really cook) and bake.

But in my moments of clarity when the noise in my head quiets for a stretch, I have to say I am excited.  Sure, all the unknowns are a bit scary for me, but the thought of a slower pace excites me. The thought of my three boys with their daddy each night excites me. The thought of being able to focus solely on my immediate family & their needs excites me.  As well as the fifteen pounds Josh swears I will lose from a lack of fried fast food options & the extreme price of soda.  Oh, and setting up house in a brand new place! I can't wait to decorate & put my own touch on everything.

Despite the excitement bubbling inside me, I still get a dropping sensation in the pit of my stomach every time I look at my countdown clicker- 4 days!?!  Only four days until I take my one husband & three kids to ride on four planes over the course of two days to travel over two thousand miles to the new place I am going to call home.

Christmas Joy

two thousand twelve

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

This quote, courtesy of Barb Miller, has had me thinking for the last twenty four hours.  Deep thoughts, like the meaning of life, what you can make it & how your perspective on things can alter your reality.

I have decided that this journey to Alaska will be what I make it. If I dread living in -40 temps without my friends or family, it will be the worst experience of my life. If I look forward to making my mark on the world, trying something new & enjoying the chance to be our own little family, it may just be the best experience of my life.

Right now I am of the mind that life is what you make it. Most of 2010 & 2011 was challenging to say the least.  We were dealt some hard blows, with interview after interview resulting in Josh remaining jobless, and those defeats coupled with my surprise pregnancy had us feeling pretty disconcerted about what life had in store.

I am ready for 2012. I am ready for all it holds for us. 

 Josh teaching, me being at home & us being together.

I don't really have a resolution this year.  But if pressed, I would say mine is to bloom where I'm planted.  I may not know what I'm up against or how I'll feel once I arrive in Alaska, but I can at least go there with a positive attitude and a sunny outlook.

Christmas Morning

Christmas morning Josh let me sleep in since I was sick & when I woke up & made my way downstairs we opened gifts. Wyatt got a chewy toy; Logan got a robot; and Jack got an airplane.
Soon after that family started showing up for our annual Christmas breakfast.

Wyatt & the boys looked adorable in their Hanna jammies.

The ones Wyatt wore were Logan & Jack's from their first Christmas.

 It was the whole "fam damily", as my grandpa would say!

 Ethan-O

 I tried to get a decent picture of the three boys together in their jammies...

 This is the best of all three of them...

 But this is the best of the twins...

 And this I threw in for good measure because I like their crazy faces!

 Aunt Lisa bought the boys books & had Grandma & Papa record the readings. They're so cool!

 Josh's sister Christine made all the boys hats with knit beards that were hilarious!

 Papa Carl

 The boys also got Legos for Christmas, which they are having so much fun creating with.

 Happy Jack

Yukon Josh! 

Despite being sick, I enjoyed seeing all the family & partaking in all the delicious breakfast foods. 
After everyone left all five of us took a nap. 
It was very cozy.