*sigh*

 Well, I did it. I completed my first day back.  It's over. And I feel quite proud of myself for surviving it.  I was a roller coaster of emotions most of the day.  I spent last night crying over my mayonnaise as I made my sandwich. Then this morning I was happy to snuggle Logan on the couch, but bummed that Jack kept sleeping. I was happy that Josh made them eggs (their favorite!) for breakfast, but sad that I couldn't sit down & eat with them.  I was happy to see my friends at work, but so disappointed that after all we sacrificed the last two years, our dreams are yet to come true.

Once I got into the swing of things at work, though, I held it together pretty well. And I didn't shed a single tear. (No small feat!)  I must say I work with some of the most amazing, supportive people.  I know that it would have been a million times more difficult if it weren't for all of them.  

Then when I got home, Josh had made the bed (my favorite thing!), done the dishes, taken out all the trash, lit some candles & hung the artwork the boys had made on the fridge for me to see.  It made my heart happy to know they had fun with Daddy while I was at work.  I also found this picture on the camera of Jack wearing my flip flops, pushing his baby around in the stroller. You know what they say, "Like mother, like son..." or something like that!  How cute is he?

And how great is Josh? He really came through for me.  Making the house so nice to come home to and making sure the boys had fun today.

I arrived home to the boys in underwear & t-shirts, jumping up and down ecstatically on the scrapbook table, screaming, "Mommy! Mommy!"  I came in and we put in a movie, got out their blankets & bubbas and had ourselves a good snuggle.  Then I got dinner going while carrying Jack around like a hip-monkey, hugging his chubby wrists around my neck saying, "I missed you, Mommy. I missed you." 

We had dinner as a family ("together") and the boys were so cute, telling me about using truck stickers to make their art with Daddy.  They are both sick with runny noses, so after dinner I gave them a warm, soapy bath, playing and talking, and just generally enjoying them.  Before jammies, I rubbed Vicks all over their chests and put vaseline on their noses.  Then I read them "I Love Trucks" and "Kiss Kiss", tucked them into their cozy beds & kissed them each about fifteen times.

I just love them so much. 

And they love me.

Life is good.