4.30.2011

Little Moments

Yesterday while the boys & I were headed to the car from Fred Meyer, where we had a delicious snack of donuts & organic apple juice (gotta counteract all that mapley-sugar with something a little more "natural"), we traipsed through the parking lot when the man in the couple behind us started laughing.
Jack said, "Mom, is he cracking up?" 
I said, "Yes, he is." 
Then Jack asked, "What's he cracking up for?"
And all day we talked about the man in the parking lot, cracking up, for no apparent reason.
Adorable.
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This morning as I dozed on the couch (--Don't judge me!!! I am 34 weeks pregnant & sick... Sleep is a long lost friend) I awoke to find the boys playing monster trucks in the kitchen.  The way they interacted and echoed each others' sound effects warmed my very heart.
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Yesterday our boys were not so in sync... 
Jack had been in trouble for telling me no, and I was telling Josh about it on the drive home from my mom's. When Jack overheard me he asked, "Watcha talking about, mom?" So I reminded him and then Logan piped in saying, "Don't you ever say no to mommy, Jack." (Like he doesn't do it twice as often...) 
Jack turned to him, daggers in his eyes and said, "Logan, don't tell me something! You're not the boss. I don't want to talk about this with you." 
I kid you not. 
That is exactly what he said. 
Josh and I turned to look at each other and couldn't help but smirk.  
What a smarty pants.
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I look at them, thinking of the baby I am going to be giving birth to in six short weeks, and wonder, "How did it go so fast? When did they get so big?"
Their third birthday is in a month.
They are big boys. They feed themselves, go potty by themselves, can (mostly) dress themselves. They are getting so much better at sharing, taking turns and listening to each other.  
I find myself staring at them, searching desperately for some sign of their baby-hood, and find nothing--
Their legs are long and lean.
Their faces are no longer round & chubby.
Their fingers are strong & capable.
They can ask specifically for what they want, have entire conversations (in person or over the phone) and know their names, birth date and age... It's just amazing when I sit back & reflect on all they have learned, all they have become, in the last year.
Soon instead of two 2-year-olds, I will have three children 3 and under. 
I sure hope I am up for the challenge.
Especially once Josh leaves.
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Beside searching for my long lost baby twins in my now pre-school age children, I have been spending a lot of time thinking about this journey we are about to embark on. 
I imagine falling asleep alone in my bed, with a baby in the bassinette to my right, and my big boys tucked in their beds next door... I imagine grocery shopping with three small children, in the rain, by myself... I imagine dropping Josh off at the airport...  
I think of all that he does around here, logistically- the garbage, the cars, anything technological, the grocery shopping, most of the cooking.  Then I think about what he does as my husband, the support he offers me, the back rubs, the hugs when I am losing my mind or sobbing hysterically...
We told the boys a few days ago that Daddy got a new work and would be going to Alaska for a long time without us in a few months. Jack turned to me, looked straight in my eyes and said, "What are going to do, mom?"
What are we going to do?
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Everyone around us has been so supportive. All my past co-workers (whom I went to visit last week), our families, our friends, and all of you blog followers, have assured me that we have what it takes to make it. That raising our three kids alone for a while will be a challenge for me, but one doesn't realize how strong one is until you have to be that strong.  Everyone has assured me that I will make friends easily and the boys will adjust faster & better than I imagine.
So when I can, I try to think of those bits of encouragement, put the future out of my mind, and just enjoy the "right now".  Enjoy having my family here, together.  Enjoy my big boys.  Enjoy Wyatt wiggling in my belly. 
Enjoy the little moments that are all around me.


1 comment:

Rox said...

I have a plan... I come over once a week and watch all 5 boys so you can grocery shop/run errands in peace! And then after I have my baby you can take Wyatt with you and just shop with one little baby in the front pack!
We'll make it work, sister! :)