motherhood

 "There is no way to be a perfect mother, and a million ways to be a good one." 

~Jill Churchill

Thank you for all the love on my previous post. I went to bed feeling kind of guilty for posting it. Mostly because it's so negative.  But I stick by what I said. It's true. These three year olds are killing me softly.  I forgot people had told me that three sucks.  But now that I think of it, I remember hearing that from a LOT of twin moms in particular. So I don't know if the twin thing adds to it (read: makes it worse!) or what. Who knows.

I know it at least adds another parenting dynamic because when Logan is in trouble for taking a toy from Jack, and we consequence him, Jack changes his mind about wanting his toy back. "It's okay, mom. Logan can have it," he'll tell me, in the hopes that his brother will stop crying & being in trouble.  While it's really sweet, it also undermines our parenting.

Last night after I sat reading Rants from Mommyland, tears in my eyes from laughing so hard, Josh and I talked about this stage we're in.  He said it's hard because we're doing it right.  It's difficult because we are trying to raise kind, thoughtful, selfless, helpful, polite people.  And that ain't easy.

Our talk last night renewed my passion for this job. He's right.  Raising little people should be the hardest thing I've ever done.  Constantly reminding them to use their manners, put their toys away and be nice to their brother should wear me out.  If I'm doing right by them, it shouldn't be a cake walk.

Some things have improved since the move.  For instance, they have a lot more room to play, and they have access to all their toys.  Also, food struggles are better in Alaska because there are no other choices.  The boys know that they eat what we give them, or they go hungry.  I have been super impressed by Logan in particular.  Jack's pretty easy to feed, but Logan has always been pretty picky.  But we've gotten him to eat Ravioli, try salmon and love Tuna Helper.

And as a random side note, I'd like to say for the record that today I made powdered Milk. This job usually falls to my husband as the one time I tried to make it, there were chunks of powder floating around in the pitcher & the twins refused to drink it. (Not that I can blame them.)  So today as he headed out the door Josh told me 2 & 2/3 cup of dry milk, 2 quarts of water; Add the powder first (!!!), then the water; and stir like mad with a whisk. Guess what? I did it! And Logan even drank it!  Booyah!

In addition to making milk, I have been baking bread.  Each Sunday I pull out the recipe I wrote down as I witnessed my mother-in-law working her doughy magic in the kitchen at her house and make five loaves of bread-- enough to get us through the week.  Sometimes I also make cinnamon rolls which delights Logan. It makes me feel like the queen of domesticity to wake up Sunday morning & spend the day pulling fresh loaves of homemade bread out of my oven.

 Aside from Jack wanting to rescue Logan from his own pouting & time-out causing tantrums, I've noticed some other interesting twin things as of late.  The first one, which is kind of gross, is them pooping at the same time.  If Jack goes poop, I can pretty much guarantee that within ten minutes Logan, too will need to go.  I've also noticed they have similar problem solving techniques. Yesterday they were playing with two Rubbermaid totes, and got them stuck, one stacked inside the other. I just sat back & watched them try to figure it out. In this case, two heads were not better than one. Because those two heads are identical.  Meaning, they both attempt to solve a problem in the exact same way.  And finally, I was reading Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child (for sweet, sleepless Wyatt) and the author reported a study from University of Louisville School of Medicine about twins who sleep different amounts.  The twin who had the longer sleep pattern also had higher vocabulary, reading & comprehension scores.  Isn't that fascinating?

 With twins on my mind, I've been thinking more about the old days with the boys.  And I find myself really wishing I could have stayed home with my first babies because now I"m split between three kids. And I'm exhausted. So even though I will never have to leave Wyatt, and I am more grateful for that than I can express, I find that it's so different the second (or is it third?) time around.  I have to meet two different sets of needs (three year old needs & seven month old needs), and juggle my attention (& patience) between all three.  The question I want to ask is, "How do women with more children do it?"  God bless 'em!