I found this tonight and let me tell you, it made my night! I have been having trouble parenting my two three-year-olds the last few months. Really, since the baby was born, I've been struggling. They want so badly to be independent, and I feel like I've lost control. Parenting them was so much easier when they were little and my opinion was the only one that counted.
If you have children, particularly two-year-olds, I suggest you read this, and prepare yourself. It's gonna be one hell of a long road. Trust me. I'm on it.
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RANTS FROM MOMMYLAND:
Top Ten Reasons Why 3 is worse than 2
It seems to me that one of the most important things that no one told me about parenthood is that three is worse than two. Everyone is sort of prepared for the Terrible Two’s. Very few of us are ready for what happens next.
But this is the interwebs and I can't see you. So I'm going to tell you the truth. Three is a lot worse than two and here's why:
1. Three is two with intent.
2. The good news is, they can speak. Oh wait did I say good news? Guess who can parrot an overheard curse word perfectly? Except now they can do it understanding the importance of timing.
3. They’re mostly potty trained. Of course that also means that when they crap on the floor, it's even more disgusting and they’ve probably done it on purpose.
4. Their lungs are bigger. Therefore, the tantrums are louder – especially in public. They also are perfectly aware of what annoys and humiliates you. They know... Oh, they know.
5. Little girls get a wee bit emotional at three. Not a lot, just enough to turn your house into a damn telenovela.
6. Little boys act as if destruction and mayhem is their job. More than their job - their duty.
7. All of a sudden – they get picky, picky, picky. After eating macaroni and cheese every other day their whole life, get ready to hear: "Momma. I not gonna eat dese noodles. Dey haf cheese all over dem and dat's GROSS."
8. They're independent and doing more things for themselves, which means that doing anything now takes approximately forever.
9. They're smart. So you can no longer trick them into eating healthy things or playing quietly while you try to gather your shattered nerves. Also, they’re self-aware enough to weigh the consequences and take what’s coming to them. Flooding the bathroom floor is totally worth ten minutes in time out.
10. Are you ready to leave your house? Well, your toddler isn't. Are you ready to walk down the street? Your toddler isn't. Is it time for you to leave the playground? Well, your toddler really, really isn't. And that's why we call it turtle herding.
I speak the truth, hookers. I'm really sorry. And you're welcome.
But at least now you're prepared. Maybe.
-Julianna W. Miner
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My favorites are 1, 8 & 9:
Number one because it's just plain true. The same things the boys got into trouble doing as two-year-olds, are way more infuriating now that they're three because I know they know better!
Number eight because everything truly does take forever. And God forbid I try to help to speed things along. Logan has been known to undress himself after I've dressed him just so he can "do it himself." So help me.
And finally number nine because I have seen Jack, in all his wisdom, weighing the consequence I have threatened with whatever behavior he wants to engage in. And there are times when he finds it to be worth it. Like the other day when he jumped on his bed and I told him if he did it again he'd have to sleep on the floor and he replied, "I want to sleep on the floor." And he climbed out of bed and laid on the hard wood. I.WAS.FURIOUS.
Anyway, I am counting down the days until they turn four (roughly 121 days, 16 hours & 3 minutes) and praying that their behavior will improve. (Even though I'm pretty sure it won't.)
6 comments:
Terrible twos are what people talk about. I warn everyone that threes are way worse.... But, wait for it.... Fours a magical, fours are sweet and fun and great! I've done it three times with three polar opposite kids... And fours are my favorite years! So hope you feel better :)
Kristi Hammack
I love #3! This has happened recently and I just know Claire did it on purpose! She's also really good at parroting back what I tell her. Like "Mommy, I don't like it when you talk to me that way" It's so annoying! Hang in there Mama! Four more months until they are four.
Jessica Zimmerman
Oh sweetie! I am so sorry! Three TOTALLY SUCKS! It was easier in that they were more independent but it was definitely a double edged sword. The thing that KILLED me about three was the tantrums. Dear God, the tantrums were HORRIBLE! There were tantrums over not getting to wear the correct princess underpants, asking for the pink zippy cup, getting the pink cup and then screaming that they want the PURPLE cup! And getting out the door for ANYTHING was HELL. PURE HELL. It was like I was trying to run through molasses and if pushed them they slowed down even more. BUT....like the previous commenter said FOUR IS WORTH THE WAIT! I think I had a harder time with four than most folks because of Jackson's developmental delays - that left less patience for the girls. So anything bad that I wrote about four was probably my fault. But four is really MAGICAL! They are independent, they are eager to please and they are really curious - but in a good way. You will start having actual conversations with them. They suddenly turn from screaming little aliens into actual little people that you can talk to and read to and DINE OUT with! It's a great time. That being said, now that my girls are in public school they are bringing home some "attitudes" that they never had before. They are less respectful and more "bitchy" - for lack of a better word. But for the most part five has been a piece of cake so far as well. And if my girls are like your boys, they will embrace the big brother role and that will help tame their tempers as well! Just keep repeating to yourself: "it's just a phase. this too shall pass. next year will be better". When I was in the throws of 3 year old hell I would always comfort myself that at least it was easier than the first year!!! Right? ****HUGS*****
Totally agree! Actually, I'd say the "terrible" of the terrible twos goes from 2.5 to 3.5. Daniel is in between 3.5 and 4 and to be honest, I love the stage he's in. But man, a few months ago... My favorites are 8 and 10 (though sadly, we haven't moved past these yet. I'm totally a turtle herder.)
So hang in there, respite may be closer than you think. It may not last the entire "3"s.
Oh Shelly, I can totally relate but I've only had one at a time so I'm sure it's that much worse having 2 the same age. But I am going to warn you I don't think it gets better just different. Hunter is 6 now & thinks he is 13 and has all sorts of attitude. And he is addicted to playing the stupid video games!! I wish he would stop trying to be older than he really is. Well and then I really think Addy is going to be the worse of the two=) She came out of me giving dirty looks=)
Well just remember your not alone feeling this way. Love ya!!
I hear ya! I have had really awesome two year-olds and difficult three year-olds. I have learned a few thing along the way so here are my pearls of wisdom...
For #1 honey that's just kids! My six year-old will do stuff to tork me off or his siblings just because he wants to. You never get used to it and you just have to keep consistant about what you punish for. I saw a while ago and I know you posted something about it too, don't punish because they annoy you. It is hard and I have to stop and think a lot.
#8 - I know how I want to just right in and help, rarely I do, but I know the more I let them do it on their own the faster they will become. I just try to keep my cool while they learn and leave a ten minute buffer on our departure time.
#9 - Never offer them a choice or punishment that you don't want to go with. They seceretly k ow that and will choose it to spite you. However giving them choices is one of THE BEST things you can do for cooperation at age three but there is a trick...
When you want them to go to bed don't say "do you want to put on your pajamas now?" Instead go with, "Do you want to wear your monkey or your car pajamas tonight?" They get to make a choice so they feel in controll, maybe they see it's a setup sometimes but most of the time they don't care. So try that, give them a choice where both options ar eokay with you as much as possible.
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