the goodbyes

Today I am sad.

The goodbyes have begun, and I don't feel ready.

Yesterday we took off for the coast, where my grandparents live, to visit one last time. 

I can't believe I only made it out to see them twice all summer. 

The time goes too fast, and there is far, far too much to do.  

It's also a bummer that I was vicodin-detoxing (from my wisdom tooth extraction) this weekend, so I don't know that I was the best company.  

Plus all the impending goodbyes (this is our last week in Washington) are weighing heavy on my mind.

My grandparents are wonderful people. Salt of the earth.  Hard workers who appreciate what they have and share all they can.  They love me, my husband and our children with all their hearts, and would do anything for the five of us.  

As I hugged and kissed them goodbye in their gravel driveway in the sunshine, I told them I would miss them so much, and I couldn't keep the tears from falling.  That's the only crappy part of our choice to live in Alaska. The goodbyes.

I love where we live. I enjoy the isolation.
I enjoy the routine, and the ability to do our own thing.
But the goodbyes.
Man, they just about kill me.

Grandma asked me when we talked on the phone last if I was dreading being in Marshall.  Her friend had wanted to know. I said no. No. I'm not dreading being in Alaska. I love arriving. Arriving here, arriving there.  That's fun.

It's the leaving.  I hate leaving.

And I hate the goodbyes.