Tuesday morning came way too quickly, and before we knew it, Julie and I were having to say goodbye. We woke up super early so I could get my blood drawn, and then we went out to breakfast at IHOP. It was so lovely to sip coffee and share one last meal with her. We were both so sad that our time together was over.
After breakfast we drove to the airport, hugged about six times, tried not to cry and bid each other farewell. I feel so lucky we got this surprise time together. It makes us both so excited for the summer when we are reunited.
After waving goodbye to Julie, I was on my own.
Traversing Anchorage, getting to & from my appointments, and getting myself to the airport the next day.
The night before Julie left I had been very nervous, but when the time came to do it on my own, I felt completely confident.
I actually found myself enjoying driving, listening to the radio and running errands.
I picked up prescriptions at Walmart, and did some last minute shopping for both items to ship home and things I'd need while traveling.
Then I went to the post office to ship my tote home to Marshall (full of goodies, including english muffins, bagels & raisin bread!) and ship a surprise to Julie to cheer her after our fun getaway came to a close.
I had lunch at Subway (I can't get enough of the lettuce & tomatoes!) and then I went to the dentist to get my teeth cleaned since they had an opening that afternoon.
Instead of feeling scared or nervous, I just felt kind of free. Free to make my own choices, free to shop as long as I liked, free to choose what I wanted to eat... It was a bit lovely.
At the end of the day was my appointment with my counselor. I was nervous because it was downtown and I wasn't sure how navigating would be in the dark, but I arrived on time and even found a place to park.
My meeting with my (new) counselor went really well. We had talked on the phone three times since I found him after firing my original counselor, who believed my problems would be best solved by leaving Josh here and moving the boys and myself back to Vancouver.
My new counselor believes I can get well. He believes I can change my thinking, and find joy again. He has encouraged me to use visualization as well as different breathing techniques to get through the worst of the anxiety.
I love that I can call him anytime, and I love that he has hope for my future. I am excited that I get to continue working with him (via the phone) while I am out in the village. I feel so blessed that I found him.
After my appointment, I had considered going to the movies, which I didn't do while Julie was there, but I decided I was feeling spent.
So instead I headed to Taco Bell, brought home some delicious tacos and rented a movie from my room. It made for some nice down time.
It has been over six months since I went through a drive through. Oh how I missed it! The simplicity of telling a box what you want, rolling up to the window, and having it handed to you! No cooking, no dishes... It was a dream!
***
At the end of a busy day on my own, I felt I had conquered the world! I successfully faced so many of my fears. I felt amazing. It was a great way to wrap up my trip.
... one more post to come...
... one more post to come...
3 comments:
What awful advice from your first counselor! I'm so glad things are looking up :)
I'm so glad you got rid of your original councelor. Truly awful advice.
Hope your trip will cheer you up. :)
This is late but I's so glad you were able to make this trip and have a friend there with you. Also, good for you for having the strength to fire the firs counselor. One of these recap posts you said that it was pointed out that what you do is really hard, being a SAHM in a very remote area. Sometimes the best help is having the somewhat obvious pointed out! Hoping the best for you as the winter continues.
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