Finding My Way

The last few days I've been getting my life together-- crossing things off my to do list, prepping for our trip home, and feeling really on top of my game.  It feels great. 

I spent the weekend baking and cleaning, so I can spend the week with our boys, playing & teaching, which is just what we need.  I am looking forward to a week of reading (The Last Letter From Your Lover), journaling and finishing up my second grade homeschool plan.  


My faith has played a huge part in pulling myself together and carrying on despite any setbacks.  Today when I feel anxiety rising up in my throat, I simply pray, "God grant me your peace."  As my faith grows, my anxiety decreases.  It's a beautiful thing.

The beginning of anxiety is the end of faith, 
and the beginning of true faith is the end of anxiety."
-Geroge Mueller

I am also able, a few months out from my loss, to see that God has a plan.  I may  not know what it is, but all the challenges I face have a purpose.  And that makes them a lot easier to bear.

As we close up what has been a tough year emotionally for me, I am feeling grateful for the journey we've been on.  I know that I am stronger, and I believe our marriage is stronger, too.  I am so thankful for Josh.  For his understanding, his love and his support as I have mourned the loss of our two pregnancies and wondered at what the future may hold for us.

I am also eternally grateful for these three little boys.  They are the company I keep, and they bring me such joy.  On the days I am sad (like this morning when I realized I would have been 33 weeks pregnant today, had the first pregnancy stuck...) being surrounded by these fun, loud, rambunctious boys is the best medicine.


Annery said...

Oh Shelly. This is beautiful! So many prayers for you as you continue healing.

Amanda said...

I loved those post! Also do u let people follow u on instagram who u dont know IRL? If so what is ur name on Insta?

Shelly Cunningham said...

Amanda, I am @alaska_babyham on Instagram. :)

Holly Parlier said...

I am so glad things are looking brighter, Shelley! Hugs :)