On Having Twins

I will admit, most days I don't think about the fact that Logan & Jack are twins.  It's not a conscious thought I have.  But there are moments when I think, "Oh yeah, they're twins," or "Having twins is so cool".  When it does come to mind, I always feel really privileged to get to witness a twinship so up close.

One thing that reminds me is when they use "us" or "we" instead of "I".  Especially if they are alone.  They will tell the checker at the store for instance, "We are seven." Even if only one of them is with me.  Their whole life experience has been as part of a duo.

Last night when Jack was talking to Josh, who was making tortillas, he asked, "Do you miss us when you're making tortillas, dad?  We're good bakers."

One thing that is less enchanting about having twins is that everything is compared.  That for me has only gotten worse as they've entered school age and are learning side by side.  A guy at the store even asked them who was better at school.  Thankfully they said, in unison, "We both are!"

The comparing started at birth of course.
Who is older? 
Who was bigger?  
Who rolled over first?  
Who crawled first? 
Walked first? 
Talked first?

Really, all developmental milestones are compared in twins.  I feel lucky that with my twins where Jack was stronger physically, Logan was quicker academically.  This is still the case.  So even though they each have faults, they also each have strengths and that takes the edge off the comparisons for me.

Giving birth to Wyatt three years after the twins was like a breath of fresh air.  With a singleton I was finally able to quit comparing.


Wednesday night after baseball practice Jack asked me who played better, who was I more proud of?  I just told him straight up that answering that would hurt feelings and that they each have things they're good at and things they need to work on.  He accepted this and we talked about what things specifically he did well and what he needs more practice on.

We have also talked very openly about the frustration of being a twin.  People not being able to tell them apart; always being together; never having their own space... Those are hard conversations, but I think it's important to admit to them that sometimes having a twin is tough. We've also talked, though, about the perks of being a twin.  Having a built in friend; always having someone to count on; and never being lonely...  They both believe that Wyatt was in my stomach with them, he just didn't come out until later.  It's like they can't imagine having to be alone.


1 comment:

Marilynn Raatz said...

I feel so blessed to have Logan and Jack and see first hand what it is to have twins, and watch them be twins.